Melanie Tonia Evans

5 Ways To Rebuild Your Self-Worth After Narcissistic Abuse

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans Permalink 0
19
Written By   Melanie Tonia Evans

 

After being narcissistically abused, your self-worth is stripped. And why wouldn’t it be when every insecurity, fear and inadequacy you have felt about yourself, others and life has erupted and blown up in your face?

After being narcissistically abused, not only do we doubt that we are lovable, desirable, capable or adequate, we even doubt our ability to stay vertical, survive our wounds or live as a human being on this planet, in a way that is not tormenting beyond belief.

If we thought we have had doubts about our Self before narcissistic abuse, now it has gone to unthinkable levels.

Today, in this episode, I want to grant you 5 ways that you can start rebuilding your self-worth after narcissistic abuse.

And in fact, I want all of us to do better than rebuild – because I know, believe, stand for and live the reality of building ourselves to levels that we never were at, even before narcissistic abuse.

Within this Thriver TV episode, we investigate 5 steps to healing our self and establishing a self who fully believes in her or himself.

I hope you enjoy this episode and that it is a key to grant you the TRUE formula to claim incredible self-belief.

I can’t tell you the joy of truly finding my self-worth – after narcissistic abuse – that had ALWAYS been buried under piles of timidness, shame, fear and the belief that other people had more power and worth than me.

I hope with all of my heart that this video can create this process for you too!

If you’d like to learn how more about the core healing work that has helped thousands of people thriver after narcissistic abuse you can visit the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program page here.

And I look forward to answering your questions and comments below.

 

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Melanie Tonia Evans is an international narcissistic abuse recovery expert. She is an author, radio host, and founder of Quanta Freedom Healing and The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program. Melanie's healing and teaching methods have liberated thousands of people from the effects of narcissistic abuse world-wide.

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19 Thoughts on 5 Ways To Rebuild Your Self-Worth After Narcissistic Abuse
  • lindamccaffery6@hotmail.com'
    Linda
    October 20, 2017

    Very informative video Mel. I’m shifting and the ‘old stuff’ is becoming less appealing, yes it kept me stuck. I had to learn but held on too long. It’s all past trauma and an illusion. Out of my head now and in my body. Being codependent I’m too nice. Thats my lesson for today…my niceness has me put upon! I’m learning the difference between kindness and a fool. Thank you, it’s enlightening and a blessing to listen to you.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      October 20, 2017

      Hi Linda,

      thank you and I am so pleased you enjoyed it!

      I am so pleased you are finding clarity and thank you for your lovely words 🙂

      Mel xo

  • teriashmeria@gmail.com'
    Violet Spectre
    October 20, 2017

    Mel,

    This has to be the best most concise and useful little tidbit that you have sent directly to my inbox so far, and that is saying a lot! I have been NARPing since about November- so almost a year. The progress has been truly amazing, but I know I have so much further to go. These no nonsense tips are just the ticket- thank you thank you yet again Quantum Guru! Much much love from the other side of the planet, and as always, my best wishes to you as you continue your amazing mission of healing. xoxoxo

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      October 20, 2017

      Hi Violet,

      I am so pleased you got a great take-away from this!

      So happy for you that NARP has been wonderful to you!

      Much love to you too Darling Woman, and it’s lovely as always to hear from you 🙂

      Mel xo

  • funnysunnysasha@gmail.com'
    Sun
    October 20, 2017

    I had a horrible headache last night. I thought I could not make it through the night with my children make dinner and put them to bed. somehow i made a simple meal and let them watch videos while I layed on the sofa. While I did I went back in time and looked at my thirty year old self and told her I was from the future and I needed her help..she was angry a hurricane from carrying her past, than I went back to my twenty year old self and we all became one. I woke up stronger and more assured. This is five days before court for custody and my lawyer called.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      October 20, 2017

      Hi Sun,

      that is wonderful that you felt guided to find the power to heal you, from within.

      Wishing you many blessings and all the best in your custody proceedings.

      Mel ox

  • alchemi000@hotmail.com'
    Michelle
    October 20, 2017

    Hi Melanie
    I’m from Melbourne too.

    This video is just what I needed at this time. I am currently separating from my partner. We have 6 year old twins and I am just starting the process of legalities in regards to parenting plans and financial assets. I have narcissistic wounds, and trying to deal with the legal world and fight for my rights to property and children. I feel overwhelmed and helpless, the narcissistic wounds make me feel so small and fragile. With all the thoughts of how can this happen to me, Why couldn’t I see his true colors at the beginning. Now his going to use the children against me, I will never be free from his negative influence, I want to protect my children they are so young and innocent they cant understand, how can I let go and let God, my babies are now court in his narcissistic net.

    Does anybody out there have any advice of how to deal with narcs when your children are involved with them?

    Thank you Melanie

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      October 20, 2017

      Hi Michelle,

      hello to a fellow Melburnian!

      My heart goes out to you – it is so terrifying to stand up and defend ourselves when we feel so reduced and powerless. Michelle the first step is to find the way to rise through and release our trauma to get stronger for us and our children, and that is where Quanta Freedom Healing is so effective.

      I’d love you to come into my free webinar http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar to learn about this. And it is so normal when under siege to think “I don’t have time to heal myself”, yet truly this is the time we need it the most.

      In regard to co-parenting – I have created many resources about this – and in-depth information that will help you.

      All you need to do is google my name + children +co-parenting and you will see them.

      Sending strength and healing and hope this reply helps.

      Mel xo

  • warrenbrubacher@email.com'
    Ocean Breeze
    October 20, 2017

    What I am finding out is that Mindfulness Meditation works hand in hand with the NARP program. Meditation alone did not solve the damage from a lifetime of narcissistic abuse. Quantum healings are the answer for sure. My years if meditation practice helps me to focus on the healings and has helped to speed up results. I have been able to stand up to bullying and say no now much quicker and with a quicker response…….this sends the narcissist running for the hills almost instantly.
    I just love this latest video of yours. It is another masterpiece as I watch YOU grow with your life saving practice. Yes Melanie…….you are doing great yourself!!!! keep up the good work!!!!!

  • penny.white@outlook.com'
    Penny
    October 20, 2017

    Hi Mel,

    By far the most informative video to date especially those who like myself are on the NARP and have struggled with understanding that using your mind to heal is a sure way NOT to. I use to research my way out of feeling pain and getting an understanding in my mind so that could stop the pain and the story of my life be it from sociopaths to childhood abuse and then personality types and symptoms of trauma and how I became that way. Even in therapy I am understanding many things but my mind is avoiding going inside believing it’s just that simple to shift trauma out of the body to heal the brain. I think many of us who are finding it so hard to heal that are on the NARP have a belief that without the mind we can’t heal and it just will not work without it. I have spent 15 years trying to get it via the mind be it self help books, addictive researching, working it out in my mind and doing it the wrong way which has cemented victimization and resentment in me. Just this week I was researching yet again and avoiding the modules must be a trauma and belief that I can’t heal. Turning 40 has been a wake up call but letting go of the mind/ego/pain body has been an emergency.

    Thank you for yet again waking me up…….Penny.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      October 21, 2017

      Hi Penny,

      I am so pleased this helped.

      Oh gosh I so agree, that before my breakdown I tried everything and through that the power was in the brain.I was so lucky, really, in that after the breakdown I had NO brain left! That was when I started working through the body.

      Truly Penny, do a Module on “Why I am attached to trying to do it in my brain” … Somewhere in your body will light up – go to that and start shifting.

      Mel xo

  • thatmaryirene@hotmail.com'
    Mary Jankowski
    October 21, 2017

    I have a ? How do I make the shift you speak about in this video?

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      October 21, 2017

      Hi Mary,

      if you come into one of my free webinars you will learn how myself and so many other individuals in the Thriver Community have – with the use of Quanta Freedom Healing which is the most direct way I know of how to.

      In the webinar, you get to directly experience a shift as well as how to do it: http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar

      I hope this helps!

      Mel xo

  • Leighashome@yahoo.com'
    Leigha
    October 21, 2017

    Hello! I am transitioning from an abusive 20 year relationship and have begun to thrive in my life and connect with my authentic self. It is beautiful! I have much more work to do and one of the things that always gets me stuck is that I’m always questioning the difference between a narcissist and a borderline and a codependent. He of course has tried to convince me that I was all three and he was none, he thinks he is maybe just a bit codependent! ( I see tons of borderline traits in him and some narcissistic and codependent traits) The thrived tv episode I watched tonight helped with the narcissist vs codependent. Thank you! I have been really bullied into believing I was the one with narcissistic and borderline tendencies when I saw all the traits in him! Do you have any info or advice or somewhere I can look that clearly explains the differences and clearly lays out the processes and patterns between borderline and codependent and the differences between narcissist and borderline? It would help me heal so much and to release my own guilt. I tried to read a book about borderline and saw some traits in myself especially about being able to open up to him then shut down completely, very black and white in my reactions to him, I was able to make him all bad or all good. Recognizing Such unhealthy patterns in myself made me panic and start to question if it was my fault, if he was right. But my rational adult self knows I’ve been the one completely dedicated to my inner work for the last ten years while he has done nothing! Anyway, thank you for what you do, it has been incredibly supportive through my healing! I would love some clarification on borderline vs narcissism. Thank you.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      October 23, 2017

      Hi Leigha,

      I am so happy for you that you are doing so well 🙂 In regard to the relationship you are transitioning from – I am assuming that you are speaking about the person who is telling you that you are “this” or “that”.

      Leigha, when we are totally dedicated to our healing it is about no more having to prove ourselves, convince or change anything about what other people think of us. It’s so much healthier for us to drop that, do No Contact (or Modified if a necessity for children) and simply heal our inner traumas.

      My take on it is we ALL have traits of the 3 … simply because we all have traumas we need to heal to not have those traits, and when triggered we are capable of acting out in unhealthy ways, sometimes clinging and controlling and sometimes nasty and controlling. (By “controlling” I mean trying to get our needs met through another instead of being partnered wwith self) … It all comes from young unhealed traumas.

      Please know that your salvation is not about finding the information, it is about healing, and letting go of your shame connected to your wounds as well.

      This person and yourself both require stopping focusing on the other. He may not choose to heal himself, but you can and will if you want to truly Thrive.

      Mel xo

  • tricia.rumbolz@sbcglobal.net'
    Tricia
    November 10, 2017

    Thank you for the work you are doing Melanie. Your words get to the core of the matter, better than any I’ve ever heard before. Reading your blog and watching your videos has helped me SO much, it’s hard to put it into words…you rescued my soul.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      November 10, 2017

      Hi Tricia,

      awww thank you for your lovely words and I am just so pleased that I could help.

      Mel xo

  • rucks.fam@xplornet.ca'
    Marlene
    November 11, 2017

    Is your program available on Cd’s as with the downloads I have in the past had my Comptor crash and I am afraid that I would then lose all the information

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