Melanie Tonia Evans

Flying Monkeys – The Minions Narcissists Use To Do Their Bidding

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
60
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
60
  Flying Monkeys is an expression that most people in narcissistic abuse communities know about. It’s used to describe the people who the narcissist convinces to do their bidding. Abuse by proxy (using other people to abuse us) is a such a common occurrence with narcissistic abuse, and in this episode I’m going to explain to you how to completely eradicate Flying Monkeys from your life – just as myself and thousands of other Thrivers have done. Because I know how awful it is to not only be dealing with the heartbreak and terror of what a narcissist is capable of doing to you … but to also have a minion of people hounding you and trying to bring you down is horrific. (more…)

 

Flying Monkeys is an expression that most people in narcissistic abuse communities know about.

It’s used to describe the people who the narcissist convinces to do their bidding.

Abuse by proxy (using other people to abuse us) is a such a common occurrence with narcissistic abuse, and in this episode I’m going to explain to you how to completely eradicate Flying Monkeys from your life – just as myself and thousands of other Thrivers have done.

Because I know how awful it is to not only be dealing with the heartbreak and terror of what a narcissist is capable of doing to you … but to also have a minion of people hounding you and trying to bring you down is horrific.

How To Start Healing When Everything Seems Helpless

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
37
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
37
  I really wanted to do this episode to help people who are traumatized beyond measure, and feel really mired in the helplessness of narcissistic abuse. I’ve been there myself … just as many people have – been in that place where there seems to be no hope, no way out and no way to rebuild. I know so many of us have lived that truth – when we are at the final breakdown stages with a narcissist. We know we can’t survive the abuse anymore, but we have no way to believe that we can survive if we leave either. (more…)

 

I really wanted to do this episode to help people who are traumatized beyond measure, and feel really mired in the helplessness of narcissistic abuse.

I’ve been there myself … just as many people have – been in that place where there seems to be no hope, no way out and no way to rebuild.

I know so many of us have lived that truth – when we are at the final breakdown stages with a narcissist. We know we can’t survive the abuse anymore, but we have no way to believe that we can survive if we leave either.

Why Do Narcissists Need To Manipulate?

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
26
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
26
  Being with a narcissist is maddening … it feels crazy as we watch them manipulating with constant lies and twists and turns. We may feel like we are trying to preach to a child … “Why don’t you just be honest with people?” And in relation to the ways the narcissist treats us … we wring our hands in despair with, “Rather than play dirty, why don’t you just ask for what you want honestly?” Why on earth do they do what they do? Why do virtually all narcissists use the same manipulative tactics? (more…)

 

Being with a narcissist is maddening … it feels crazy as we watch them manipulating with constant lies and twists and turns.

We may feel like we are trying to preach to a child … “Why don’t you just be honest with people?”

And in relation to the ways the narcissist treats us … we wring our hands in despair with, “Rather than play dirty, why don’t you just ask for what you want honestly?”

Why on earth do they do what they do?

Why do virtually all narcissists use the same manipulative tactics?

How I Healed From Adrenal Malfunction After Being Told It Was Incurable

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
37
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
37
  Adrenal malfunction is serious and it is a chronic problem for so many people in this Community. It’s the common by-product of the horrific impact of narcissistic abuse – when our stress hormones go into overdrive trying to cope with the crazy-making, the unsafe twists, turns and stunts that narcissists do, as well as the malicious, unthinkable trauma they bring into our lives and to the people who we love. When our adrenals no longer function as they should, our ability to switch of fight or flee is severely compromised and the symptoms are debilitating to say the least. They include such things as hair loss, appetite problems, sleeping disorders, premature aging, the risk of heart attack or stroke, and many other dis-eases due to a stressed immune system – including cancer. (more…)

 

Adrenal malfunction is serious and it is a chronic problem for so many people in this Community.

It’s the common by-product of the horrific impact of narcissistic abuse – when our stress hormones go into overdrive trying to cope with the crazy-making, the unsafe twists, turns and stunts that narcissists do, as well as the malicious, unthinkable trauma they bring into our lives and to the people who we love.

When our adrenals no longer function as they should, our ability to switch of fight or flee is severely compromised and the symptoms are debilitating to say the least.

They include such things as hair loss, appetite problems, sleeping disorders, premature aging, the risk of heart attack or stroke, and many other dis-eases due to a stressed immune system – including cancer.

How To Trust Again After The Person You Loved Didn’t Love You

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
52
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
52
  Our most painful traumas are the ones that hurt our heart. Again and again people agonise, as I did too, with the hardest thing to get over – the realisation that this person did not love you. How can we hope to love again after knowing that the love we were invested in was a lie? How can we even consider opening up and taking the risk with our mind, souls and hearts again? Many people don’t ... they concede it is too risky and too painful and feel that they simply couldn’t survive that level of emotional devastation again. (more…)

 

Our most painful traumas are the ones that hurt our heart.

Again and again people agonise, as I did too, with the hardest thing to get over – the realisation that this person did not love you.

How can we hope to love again after knowing that the love we were invested in was a lie?

How can we even consider opening up and taking the risk with our mind, souls and hearts again?

Many people don’t … they concede it is too risky and too painful and feel that they simply couldn’t survive that level of emotional devastation again.

Gaslighting – How A Narcissist Destroys You By Eroding Your Sanity

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
66
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
66
  “Gaslighting” is an expression that many people in narcissistic abuse circles have heard. The term owes its origin to a 1938 play “Gas Light” and its 1944 film adaptation. It’s the insidious way narcissists get us to doubt our own sanity, and cause us to be twisted and turned into not knowing what is real or not real. Gaslighting is about untruths, or at the very least stretching facts. It is about punishing people and fabricating information to suit one’s own agenda. It is about confusing you, stripping your power and getting you to distrust yourself. (more…)

 

“Gaslighting” is an expression that many people in narcissistic abuse circles have heard.

The term owes its origin to a 1938 play “Gas Light” and its 1944 film adaptation.

It’s the insidious way narcissists get us to doubt our own sanity, and cause us to be twisted and turned into not knowing what is real or not real.

Gaslighting is about untruths, or at the very least stretching facts. It is about punishing people and fabricating information to suit one’s own agenda.

It is about confusing you, stripping your power and getting you to distrust yourself.

How To Open Yourself To Prosperity After Narcissistic Abuse

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
68
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
68
  One of the most painful, devastating and traumatic issues after being narcissistically abused is: How on earth am I going to re-start my life? Most people, when suffering narcissistic abuse, are also financially abused. It is one of the ways that a narcissist punishes and controls the most. You may have personally lost everything … Or close to everything that you worked so hard to achieve, to this point. (more…)

 

One of the most painful, devastating and traumatic issues after being narcissistically abused is:

How on earth am I going to re-start my life?

Most people, when suffering narcissistic abuse, are also financially abused. It is one of the ways that a narcissist punishes and controls the most.

You may have personally lost everything …

Or close to everything that you worked so hard to achieve, to this point.

5 Steps To Ignoring A Narcissist Who Tries To Punish You

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
81
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
81
  Ignoring a narcissist is critical – it is a skill that will save your life. And there is no time that ignoring a narcissist is more important than when a narcissist tries to punish you. Narcissists love to get your reaction. And as soon as they do, you are handing power away. This is how narcissists “prosper” – they like to know that they have infiltrated your thoughts, heart, mind and soul to the point where they are everything to you – front and center, sideways, up and down and inside and out. That is what it feels like when a narcissist gets their tentacles into you … like everything you used to think is tipped upside down and turned on its head. (more…)

 

Ignoring a narcissist is critical – it is a skill that will save your life. And there is no time that ignoring a narcissist is more important than when a narcissist tries to punish you.

Narcissists love to get your reaction. And as soon as they do, you are handing power away.

This is how narcissists “prosper” – they like to know that they have infiltrated your thoughts, heart, mind and soul to the point where they are everything to you – front and center, sideways, up and down and inside and out.

That is what it feels like when a narcissist gets their tentacles into you … like everything you used to think is tipped upside down and turned on its head.

What Is Trauma Consciousness? And How To Break Free From It

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
50
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
50
  Today’s video is very important … because it’s all about the one simple shift that you can make that changes everything about HOW we can heal from trauma. This Thriver TV episode is about how our body and our brain works and the connection between the two. None of us were taught where trauma lives, how it affects our belief systems and our entire life. Traditionally, there was also zero education about how if we don’t know how to find it or address it – every attempt we make to live a life free from the terrible grip of trauma may fail. (more…)

 

Today’s video is very important … because it’s all about the one simple shift that you can make that changes everything about HOW we can heal from trauma.

This Thriver TV episode is about how our body and our brain works and the connection between the two.

None of us were taught where trauma lives, how it affects our belief systems and our entire life.

Traditionally, there was also zero education about how if we don’t know how to find it or address it – every attempt we make to live a life free from the terrible grip of trauma may fail.

What Is Narcissistic Abuse Really Telling Us?

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
69
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
69
  When we are in a relationship which is unconscious, the relationship doesn’t improve. Because the essential commodities of mutuality, trust, respect, integrity and harmony aren’t present, and what this means is the integrity of the entire relationship is under strain and threat. If you’ve been in an unconscious relationship you will relate to this: The same issues are unresolved and come up over and over again. Arguments begin, then gather more and more frequently and deliver even more devastating impact. And the longer this goes on the more you can hear a voice in your head telling you “Something isn’t right!” (more…)

 

When we are in a relationship which is unconscious, the relationship doesn’t improve.

Because the essential commodities of mutuality, trust, respect, integrity and harmony aren’t present, and what this means is the integrity of the entire relationship is under strain and threat.

If you’ve been in an unconscious relationship you will relate to this:

The same issues are unresolved and come up over and over again.

Arguments begin, then gather more and more frequently and deliver even more devastating impact.

And the longer this goes on the more you can hear a voice in your head telling you “Something isn’t right!”