Melanie Tonia Evans

Why Grey Rock Alone Won’t Keep You Safe From Narcissists

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
32
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
32
  If you have asked for help on the internet or read articles on how to deal with a narcissist, chances are you have heard of the The Grey Rock Method. If you haven't heard of it, the Grey Rock Method involves switching off, showing no emotion and providing nothing that attracts a narcissist into granting energy back – by us becoming so boring and lifeless to the narcissist that they simply don't see us as a source of supply any more. Using the Grey Rock method is intended to help us reach the biggest goal we have with a narcissist, which is to detach and get well … mentally, emotionally, physically and financially. But often detaching and offering up “no energy”, to cut off narcissistic supply to narcissist, isn’t enough for us to get there … (more…)

 

If you have asked for help on the internet or read articles on how to deal with a narcissist, chances are you have heard of the The Grey Rock Method.

If you haven’t heard of it, the Grey Rock Method involves switching off, showing no emotion and providing nothing that attracts a narcissist into granting energy back – by us becoming so boring and lifeless to the narcissist that they simply don’t see us as a source of supply any more.

Using the Grey Rock method is intended to help us reach the biggest goal we have with a narcissist, which is to detach and get well … mentally, emotionally, physically and financially.

But often detaching and offering up “no energy”, to cut off narcissistic supply to narcissist, isn’t enough for us to get there …

What To Do If You Feel Like You’re Too Old To Recover From Abuse

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
40
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
40
  This is one of the most painful questions people ask … It is so understandable, after being narcissistically abused, to think that you have thrown the best years of your life away … and that it’s now too late to create a great life. And let’s face it – it’s very unlikely that you have ended a relationship in a supported state, where you are healthy, happy and buoyantly able to move forward. In fact, the exact opposite is usually true – you’ve lost a lot, and especially your confidence and faith in Life and yourself. You may have been set back years – emotionally, mentally, physically and financially. And of course it feels like the dreams that you had worked hard to accomplish have been thwarted! (more…)

 

This is one of the most painful questions people ask …

It is so understandable, after being narcissistically abused, to think that you have thrown the best years of your life away … and that it’s now too late to create a great life.

And let’s face it – it’s very unlikely that you have ended a relationship in a supported state, where you are healthy, happy and buoyantly able to move forward.

In fact, the exact opposite is usually true – you’ve lost a lot, and especially your confidence and faith in Life and yourself.

You may have been set back years – emotionally, mentally, physically and financially.

And of course it feels like the dreams that you had worked hard to accomplish have been thwarted!

They Told Me I Would Never Recover Part 2

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
33
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
33
  In Part One, I shared with you the intimate details about my breakdown, awakening and how my life was changed forever. Please watch Part One first if you haven't already. In this episode, Part Two, I share with you the numerous epiphanies I received shortly after my awakening, which took me from a person entrenched to living life from the outside in to one living life – for the FIRST time in my life – to the inside out. And how I had finally realised that the broken parts of myself that had been with me all of my life, had been unconsciously involved in my patterns with painful and disappointing relationships – and that this had nothing to do with “blaming myself” and rather everything to do with loving those parts of me back to wholeness. (more…)

 

In Part One, I shared with you the intimate details about my breakdown, awakening and how my life was changed forever.

Please watch Part One first if you haven’t already.

In this episode, Part Two, I share with you the numerous epiphanies I received shortly after my awakening, which took me from a person entrenched to living life from the outside in to one living life – for the FIRST time in my life – to the inside out.

And how I had finally realised that the broken parts of myself that had been with me all of my life, had been unconsciously involved in my patterns with painful and disappointing relationships – and that this had nothing to do with “blaming myself” and rather everything to do with loving those parts of me back to wholeness.

They Told Me I Would Never Recover

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
27
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
27
  I got to thinking this week, even though I have shared details of my personal story on my website and in my Free Webinar, I know there are many of you who don’t know the full details of my own experience. Maybe you are one of those people who haven’t heard my full story, and are wondering how I got to where I am today. So, I thought what better way than to share the explicit details in a more imitate way than I ever have -  on Thriver TV. Because … I know I am not alone. I am not the first person to have an incurable diagnosis that was supposed to be the end of my Life as I knew it … and ... (more…)

 

I got to thinking this week, even though I have shared details of my personal story on my website and in my Free Webinar, I know there are many of you who don’t know the full details of my own experience.

Maybe you are one of those people who haven’t heard my full story, and are wondering how I got to where I am today.

So, I thought what better way than to share the explicit details in a more imitate way than I ever have –  on Thriver TV.

Because … I know I am not alone. I am not the first person to have an incurable diagnosis that was supposed to be the end of my Life as I knew it … and …

How To Set Boundaries With A Narcissist If You Can’t Go No Contact Part 2

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
25
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
25
  In Part One of this series, we investigated many of the energetic truths regarding how to operate in the vicinity of narcissists who we can’t go No Contact with. And how our goal is to detach, grant them no narcissistic supply and grow up those parts of ourselves that used to get triggered and hooked into their shenanigans; understanding that when we stop granting energy, the narcissist must put their energy onto obtaining narcissistic supply from a much easier source. In Part Two, my desire is to illustrate some fundamental differences between a) People who are still hooked in through unhealed parts, b) Those who are working with Grey Rock, but are still hooked in through unhealed parts and c) People who are firmly dedicated to working at evolving themselves, and have placed their personal evolution and showing up authentically as their most important life mission. (more…)

 

In Part One of this series, we investigated many of the energetic truths regarding how to operate in the vicinity of narcissists who we can’t go No Contact with.

And how our goal is to detach, grant them no narcissistic supply and grow up those parts of ourselves that used to get triggered and hooked into their shenanigans; understanding that when we stop granting energy, the narcissist must put their energy onto obtaining narcissistic supply from a much easier source.

In Part Two, my desire is to illustrate some fundamental differences between a) People who are still hooked in through unhealed parts, b) Those who are working with Grey Rock, but are still hooked in through unhealed parts and c) People who are firmly dedicated to working at evolving themselves, and have placed their personal evolution and showing up authentically as their most important life mission.

How To Set Boundaries With A Narcissist If You Can’t Go No Contact

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
88
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
88
  If you’ve been a member of this community for more than a little while, you will know I passionately believe it's best to create No Contact with a toxic person as soon as possible. This grants you the space to turn inward and begin healing yourself, without the daily episodes that trigger your deepest unconscious wounds, sending you ten steps backwards, rather than making your way forward. But what if this person is not someone you can cut out of your life right away? You might have children or an existing business with this person, or an ongoing settlement or divorce that hasn’t taken place yet. (more…)

 

If you’ve been a member of this community for more than a little while, you will know I passionately believe it’s best to create No Contact with a toxic person as soon as possible.

This grants you the space to turn inward and begin healing yourself, without the daily episodes that trigger your deepest unconscious wounds, sending you ten steps backwards, rather than making your way forward.

But what if this person is not someone you can cut out of your life right away?

You might have children or an existing business with this person, or an ongoing settlement or divorce that hasn’t taken place yet.

Can A Narcissist Be Cured?

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
77
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
77
  It is such a gut wrenching experience to finally accept that someone you put your total love and faith into (in the case of a love partner) or had a unique and special bond with (in the case of a family member, friend or co-worker) is a narcissist. And it’s no wonder I get questions like this all the time … "Why do some people have the capacity to change while others don’t?" "Why as a society are we turning our back on narcissists?” "Isn't there a possibility if I love them enough, or work hard enough on our relationship that I can help them change?" (more…)

 

It is such a gut wrenching experience to finally accept that someone you put your total love and faith into (in the case of a love partner) or had a unique and special bond with (in the case of a family member, friend or co-worker) is a narcissist.

And it’s no wonder I get questions like this all the time …

“Why do some people have the capacity to change while others don’t?”

“Why as a society are we turning our back on narcissists?”

“Isn’t there a possibility if I love them enough, or work hard enough on our relationship that I can help them change?”

How To Evict The Narcissist From Your Head And Move On With Your Life – Part 2

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
42
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
42
  What an interesting discussion we had last week regarding Part 1! If you haven't read the first installment of this two-part series please go and read it first. I think it's very important that we don’t get sidetracked by some of the comments differing from what the message really was all about … (even though ... thank you ... I did greatly appreciate everyone's amazing emotional intelligent, love and support!) Understanding how to get out of the loop of repeat painful thoughts that cripple our ability to regain control and start taking positive actions in our life. Last week we learned that the story originates from the beliefs we have about ourselves and all of life – our Inner Identity. (more…)

 

What an interesting discussion we had last week regarding Part 1!

If you haven’t read the first installment of this two-part series please go and read it first.

I think it’s very important that we don’t get sidetracked by some of the comments differing from what the message really was all about … (even though … thank you … I did greatly appreciate everyone’s amazing emotional intelligent, love and support!)

Understanding how to get out of the loop of repeat painful thoughts that cripple our ability to regain control and start taking positive actions in our life.

Last week we learned that the story originates from the beliefs we have about ourselves and all of life – our Inner Identity.

Learning To Trust After Sexual Abuse With Rachel Grant

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
27
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
27
  This very special interview, with my dear friend Rachel Grant, is one that I am so pleased to share. It is about a topic that is often hidden in shame and pain, and is one that personally and collectively deeply requires to be held in love and with deep compassion for its wounds to be healed. Sexual abuse is such a common thread in the Thriver Community – it is one of the greatest traumas that many people have suffered before entering into adult narcissistic abuse relationships. Statistics tell us that 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 6 boys are sexually abused, usually be someone known to them. That is only the statistic of reported cases, and we can imagine that there are in fact many more cases that go unreported. (more…)

 

This very special interview, with my dear friend Rachel Grant, is one that I am so pleased to share.

It is about a topic that is often hidden in shame and pain, and is one that personally and collectively deeply requires to be held in love and with deep compassion for its wounds to be healed.

Sexual abuse is such a common thread in the Thriver Community – it is one of the greatest traumas that many people have suffered before entering into adult narcissistic abuse relationships.

Statistics tell us that 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 6 boys are sexually abused, usually be someone known to them. That is only the statistic of reported cases, and we can imagine that there are in fact many more cases that go unreported.

How To Evict The Narcissist From Your Head And Move On With Your Life

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
100
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
100
  This article is very important for new members of this Community who are only beginning their recovery journey … as well as veterans to recovery, who are struggling and feel stuck. I’m going to start this article a little differently …  from the end game. So that you know this story does have a happy ending and so that you have something to aim for and a solution to believe in. Myself and many other people in this Community no longer have any daily thoughts whatsoever about the narcissist or what happened to us. Yes, the odd thing may still bring up a trigger, which as Thriving NARPers we are dedicated to finding, releasing and up-levelling as soon as this happens … (more…)

 

This article is very important for new members of this Community who are only beginning their recovery journey … as well as veterans to recovery, who are struggling and feel stuck.

I’m going to start this article a little differently …  from the end game.

So that you know this story does have a happy ending and so that you have something to aim for and a solution to believe in.

Myself and many other people in this Community no longer have any daily thoughts whatsoever about the narcissist or what happened to us.

Yes, the odd thing may still bring up a trigger, which as Thriving NARPers we are dedicated to finding, releasing and up-levelling as soon as this happens …