Melanie Tonia Evans

What Is Narcissistic Abuse Really Telling Us?

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
63
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
63
  When we are in a relationship which is unconscious, the relationship doesn’t improve. Because the essential commodities of mutuality, trust, respect, integrity and harmony aren’t present, and what this means is the integrity of the entire relationship is under strain and threat. If you’ve been in an unconscious relationship you will relate to this: The same issues are unresolved and come up over and over again. Arguments begin, then gather more and more frequently and deliver even more devastating impact. And the longer this goes on the more you can hear a voice in your head telling you “Something isn’t right!” (more…)

 

When we are in a relationship which is unconscious, the relationship doesn’t improve.

Because the essential commodities of mutuality, trust, respect, integrity and harmony aren’t present, and what this means is the integrity of the entire relationship is under strain and threat.

If you’ve been in an unconscious relationship you will relate to this:

The same issues are unresolved and come up over and over again.

Arguments begin, then gather more and more frequently and deliver even more devastating impact.

And the longer this goes on the more you can hear a voice in your head telling you “Something isn’t right!”

How To Recognise The 5 Types Of Trauma Bonding

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
46
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
46
  I don’t think anyone could possibly have prepared themselves for the intense, inexplicable and deadly bonding experience that happens with a narcissist. This is the thing … You KNOW you need to stay away …. You KNOW things aren’t getting better … Yet, it is so usual to not be able to stop yourself connecting with them again and again – attempting to get sense, or wanting to force them to be accountable … and even trying to get them to respect, care for and love you. (more…)

 

I don’t think anyone could possibly have prepared themselves for the intense, inexplicable and deadly bonding experience that happens with a narcissist.

This is the thing …

You KNOW you need to stay away ….

You KNOW things aren’t getting better …

Yet, it is so usual to not be able to stop yourself connecting with them again and again – attempting to get sense, or wanting to force them to be accountable … and even trying to get them to respect, care for and love you.

Why Can’t I Stop Loving The Narcissist?

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
47
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
47
  It’s painful beyond measure. When someone who treats us WORSE than we could imagine … who is threatening our very mental and emotional fibre and everything we stand for … and is being someone who we SHOULDN’T love … Just happens to be THE person we can’t stop loving. This happens with narcissists, so often that it is not just some random tale of painful mismatched love. There is actually so much more to it. This Thriver TV episode, I believe, is very necessary ... because one of the deadliest (if not THE deadliest) hooks of narcissistic abuse is when we feel we can’t stop loving the person who is abusing us. (more…)

 

It’s painful beyond measure.

When someone who treats us WORSE than we could imagine … who is threatening our very mental and emotional fibre and everything we stand for … and is being someone who we SHOULDN’T love …

Just happens to be THE person we can’t stop loving.

This happens with narcissists, so often that it is not just some random tale of painful mismatched love.

There is actually so much more to it.

This Thriver TV episode, I believe, is very necessary … because one of the deadliest (if not THE deadliest) hooks of narcissistic abuse is when we feel we can’t stop loving the person who is abusing us.

The Narcissist – Soulmate, Twin Flame Or Cellmate?

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
117
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
117
  I have been looking forward to writing this article ... really looking forward to it … because so many people, as well as spiritual teachers, have different theories on this. And the confusion definitely spills over into the questions people have in regard to narcissists … Are narcissists Soul Mates that we were meant to get it right with, but just couldn’t ... or are they Twin Flames; deeply impactful souls called forth to surface and purge our darker pieces that they reflect, so that we can evolve? Or, are they a hideous and terrible mistake of humanity that we just happened to get tangled up with, and found it so difficult to separate from? (more…)

 

I have been looking forward to writing this article … really looking forward to it … because so many people, as well as spiritual teachers, have different theories on this.

And the confusion definitely spills over into the questions people have in regard to narcissists …

Are narcissists Soul Mates that we were meant to get it right with, but just couldn’t … or are they Twin Flames; deeply impactful souls called forth to surface and purge our darker pieces that they reflect, so that we can evolve?

Or, are they a hideous and terrible mistake of humanity that we just happened to get tangled up with, and found it so difficult to separate from?

Asserting Your Needs In Relationships – Healthy vs Co-dependent

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
48
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
48
  There is a very fine line after narcissistic abuse, when we start wanting and entering new relationships. I believe for many of us who have done the work to heal our Inner Being … ... we may be literally terrified of being co-dependent again! We know the horror and the terror – that was literally life-threatening – when we were enmeshed to a narcissist and had powerlessly relinquished virtually all the rights of our life to them. And maybe, you are STILL struggling to not feel dependent on and entangled with someone who is presently hurting you. (more…)

 

There is a very fine line after narcissistic abuse, when we start wanting and entering new relationships.

I believe for many of us who have done the work to heal our Inner Being …

… we may be literally terrified of being co-dependent again!

We know the horror and the terror – that was literally life-threatening – when we were enmeshed to a narcissist and had powerlessly relinquished virtually all the rights of our life to them.

And maybe, you are STILL struggling to not feel dependent on and entangled with someone who is presently hurting you.

Shifts Happen: Healing The Traumas Closest To Our Hearts – Our Children #2

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
27
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
27
  I can't tell you how excited I am for today's Shifts Happen Episode! If you caught last week's episode, you would have seen how Devon and I did a Quanta Freedom Healing together - in relation to her trauma regarding her son's anxieties. The following is so vital about this 2-part series ... As I stated last week, this is the topic within Narcissistic Abuse Recovery that I am the MOST passionate about. I am motivated beyond measure to find a way for us, as adults, to lead the way - to create a template of Inner wellbeing and health, Unity Consciousness, soul and emotional intelligence and personal power for our children. (more…)

 

I can’t tell you how excited I am for today’s Shifts Happen Episode!

If you caught last week’s episode, you would have seen how Devon and I did a Quanta Freedom Healing together – in relation to her trauma regarding her son’s anxieties.

The following is so vital about this 2-part series … As I stated last week, this is the topic within Narcissistic Abuse Recovery that I am the MOST passionate about.

I am motivated beyond measure to find a way for us, as adults, to lead the way – to create a template of Inner wellbeing and health, Unity Consciousness, soul and emotional intelligence and personal power for our children.

How To Trust Your Inner Guidance System

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
22
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
22
  The following is such a fascinating question … When is my intuition warning correct and when it is wrong? And it’s a really valid question, because we know that the human experience can be fraught with fear. We all experience triggers of fear going off within us, and many people who are into personal development and consciousness (as so many of you in this Community are) may question what these triggers really mean. In other words, … When am I being warned about something, or is this an overreaction because of a trauma that has been triggered within me? (more…)

 

The following is such a fascinating question …

When is my intuition warning correct and when it is wrong?

And it’s a really valid question, because we know that the human experience can be fraught with fear.

We all experience triggers of fear going off within us, and many people who are into personal development and consciousness (as so many of you in this Community are) may question what these triggers really mean.

In other words, … When am I being warned about something, or is this an overreaction because of a trauma that has been triggered within me?

Shifts Happen: Healing The Traumas Closest To Our Hearts – Our Children

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
41
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
41
  This particular Shifts Happen episode, I believe is an absolute godsend to this Community. I will go as far as saying – this healing is my MOST passionate topic. Because I believe humanity’s future rests on our younger generation. This necessary change of consciousness in the world begins with ourselves, and then how we can and will impact our children. And of course as parents there is no deeper trauma (I believe) than fearing for our children’s wellbeing. This is an episode that I have been asking for with all my heart – someone to come forward and request shifts to do with their child, within the trauma of co-parenting with a narcissist. (more…)

 

This particular Shifts Happen episode, I believe is an absolute godsend to this Community.

I will go as far as saying – this healing is my MOST passionate topic.

Because I believe humanity’s future rests on our younger generation.

This necessary change of consciousness in the world begins with ourselves, and then how we can and will impact our children.

And of course as parents there is no deeper trauma (I believe) than fearing for our children’s wellbeing.

This is an episode that I have been asking for with all my heart – someone to come forward and request shifts to do with their child, within the trauma of co-parenting with a narcissist.

Conquering The Terror Of Being With Another Narcissist

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
27
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
27
  It is very healthy, normal and human to want to love and be loved – and one of the grandest ways we can experience this is through intimate love relationships. Yet, after having our hearts, souls and life smashed by narcissists, we may concede it is safer to go without love at this level than ever run the risk of being abused again. Or … maybe we are trying to find love, yet are continually experiencing connections with men and women, which are disappointing, painful or even downright scary! I totally GET IT … That is exactly how I used to feel as well after being narcissistically abused. Initially, I was alone for three and half years, because any time I tried to date, the only people who were coming into my orbit were seriously disordered and unsuitable … and I felt even more traumatised as a result of trying. (more…)

 

It is very healthy, normal and human to want to love and be loved – and one of the grandest ways we can experience this is through intimate love relationships.

Yet, after having our hearts, souls and life smashed by narcissists, we may concede it is safer to go without love at this level than ever run the risk of being abused again.

Or … maybe we are trying to find love, yet are continually experiencing connections with men and women, which are disappointing, painful or even downright scary!

I totally GET IT … That is exactly how I used to feel as well after being narcissistically abused.

Initially, I was alone for three and half years, because any time I tried to date, the only people who were coming into my orbit were seriously disordered and unsuitable … and I felt even more traumatised as a result of trying.

This Discovery Put My Recovery Into The Fast Lane

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
36
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
36
  This is quite the Quantum Episode! Because it is a deep dive into True Selves and False Selves and how True Love and False Love works. Many, many spiritual teachers have been teaching us for decades … how we have all been looking for love in the wrong places. This is profound when you start to peel it back and understand it at a deeper level. As an adult we all have a unique Inner Being composition – which is the programming within us that were created from our genetic makeup and our childhood experiences. (more…)

 

This is quite the Quantum Episode!

Because it is a deep dive into True Selves and False Selves and how True Love and False Love works.

Many, many spiritual teachers have been teaching us for decades … how we have all been looking for love in the wrong places.

This is profound when you start to peel it back and understand it at a deeper level.

As an adult we all have a unique Inner Being composition – which is the programming within us that were created from our genetic makeup and our childhood experiences.