Melanie Tonia Evans

Shifts Happen: Healing The Traumas Closest To Our Hearts – Our Children

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
28
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
28
  This particular Shifts Happen episode, I believe is an absolute godsend to this Community. I will go as far as saying – this healing is my MOST passionate topic. Because I believe humanity’s future rests on our younger generation. This necessary change of consciousness in the world begins with ourselves, and then how we can and will impact our children. And of course as parents there is no deeper trauma (I believe) than fearing for our children’s wellbeing. This is an episode that I have been asking for with all my heart – someone to come forward and request shifts to do with their child, within the trauma of co-parenting with a narcissist. (more…)

 

This particular Shifts Happen episode, I believe is an absolute godsend to this Community.

I will go as far as saying – this healing is my MOST passionate topic.

Because I believe humanity’s future rests on our younger generation.

This necessary change of consciousness in the world begins with ourselves, and then how we can and will impact our children.

And of course as parents there is no deeper trauma (I believe) than fearing for our children’s wellbeing.

This is an episode that I have been asking for with all my heart – someone to come forward and request shifts to do with their child, within the trauma of co-parenting with a narcissist.

Conquering The Terror Of Being With Another Narcissist

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
25
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
25
  It is very healthy, normal and human to want to love and be loved – and one of the grandest ways we can experience this is through intimate love relationships. Yet, after having our hearts, souls and life smashed by narcissists, we may concede it is safer to go without love at this level than ever run the risk of being abused again. Or … maybe we are trying to find love, yet are continually experiencing connections with men and women, which are disappointing, painful or even downright scary! I totally GET IT … That is exactly how I used to feel as well after being narcissistically abused. Initially, I was alone for three and half years, because any time I tried to date, the only people who were coming into my orbit were seriously disordered and unsuitable … and I felt even more traumatised as a result of trying. (more…)

 

It is very healthy, normal and human to want to love and be loved – and one of the grandest ways we can experience this is through intimate love relationships.

Yet, after having our hearts, souls and life smashed by narcissists, we may concede it is safer to go without love at this level than ever run the risk of being abused again.

Or … maybe we are trying to find love, yet are continually experiencing connections with men and women, which are disappointing, painful or even downright scary!

I totally GET IT … That is exactly how I used to feel as well after being narcissistically abused.

Initially, I was alone for three and half years, because any time I tried to date, the only people who were coming into my orbit were seriously disordered and unsuitable … and I felt even more traumatised as a result of trying.

This Discovery Put My Recovery Into The Fast Lane

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
33
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
33
  This is quite the Quantum Episode! Because it is a deep dive into True Selves and False Selves and how True Love and False Love works. Many, many spiritual teachers have been teaching us for decades … how we have all been looking for love in the wrong places. This is profound when you start to peel it back and understand it at a deeper level. As an adult we all have a unique Inner Being composition – which is the programming within us that were created from our genetic makeup and our childhood experiences. (more…)

 

This is quite the Quantum Episode!

Because it is a deep dive into True Selves and False Selves and how True Love and False Love works.

Many, many spiritual teachers have been teaching us for decades … how we have all been looking for love in the wrong places.

This is profound when you start to peel it back and understand it at a deeper level.

As an adult we all have a unique Inner Being composition – which is the programming within us that were created from our genetic makeup and our childhood experiences.

How To Rebuild The Dream The Narcissist Tore Down

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
55
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
55
  Do you relate to this? When I first met the narcissist, I thought I had finally come home to my dream life. Yet, as time passed it became more and more evident that the dream life with him was never going to be real, let alone last. In order to hold onto the belief that my life would turn out exactly as I hoped, I had to make excuses, rationalise his behaviour and pretty much downright lie to myself. Until, I finally decided enough was enough ... and by the time I did, I was looking at my life smashed to pieces in a pile of rubble all around me. Losing the dream life that we thought was our reality with a narcissist is torturous. (more…)

 

Do you relate to this?

When I first met the narcissist, I thought I had finally come home to my dream life.

Yet, as time passed it became more and more evident that the dream life with him was never going to be real, let alone last.

In order to hold onto the belief that my life would turn out exactly as I hoped, I had to make excuses, rationalise his behaviour and pretty much downright lie to myself.

Until, I finally decided enough was enough … and by the time I did, I was looking at my life smashed to pieces in a pile of rubble all around me.

Losing the dream life that we thought was our reality with a narcissist is torturous.

Disarming The Narcissist – The 5 Essential Steps To Reclaiming Your Freedom

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
24
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
24
  It is so interesting that, until we start turning inwards to self-partner and purposefully evolve ourselves, we may think that focusing on and trying to stop, change or combat the narcissist is what disarms them. This is a totally false premise – it’s Wrong Town! We have no power to change anyone let alone disarm them –and in fact when we try to beat the narcissist at their own game, we usually find ourselves up to our neck in toxic drama, battles and abuse … at levels that we could barely fathom, let alone believe we would start experiencing as our own personal nightmare. Trying to “get even” is not what is going to hurt a narcissist, it actually feeds them, it brings you right into the arena that they love to occupy the most. It hands them narcissistic supply (attention) on a silver plate. It allows them the significance that you have been affected significantly by them. (more…)

 

It is so interesting that, until we start turning inwards to self-partner and purposefully evolve ourselves, we may think that focusing on and trying to stop, change or combat the narcissist is what disarms them.

This is a totally false premise – it’s Wrong Town!

We have no power to change anyone let alone disarm them –and in fact when we try to beat the narcissist at their own game, we usually find ourselves up to our neck in toxic drama, battles and abuse … at levels that we could barely fathom, let alone believe we would start experiencing as our own personal nightmare.

Trying to “get even” is not what is going to hurt a narcissist, it actually feeds them, it brings you right into the arena that they love to occupy the most. It hands them narcissistic supply (attention) on a silver plate. It allows them the significance that you have been affected significantly by them.

What To Do If Your Child Has Narcissistic Tendencies

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
20
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
20
  If you are currently agonising over this fear or potential reality I want you to know my heart goes out to you. We all know that ultimately we can divorce a partner, break business ties with people, and even walk away from family members – but WHAT do we do when dealing with the trauma and drama of our own narcissistic child? There definitely are people in the Community who have had no option but to go No Contact with their narcissistic children, however for some of you there may be hope ... that the rifts, behaviour and issues can heal. The following are the pivotal questions that so many parents in this Community ask … (more…)

 

If you are currently agonising over this fear or potential reality I want you to know my heart goes out to you.

We all know that ultimately we can divorce a partner, break business ties with people, and even walk away from family members – but WHAT do we do when dealing with the trauma and drama of our own narcissistic child?

There definitely are people in the Community who have had no option but to go No Contact with their narcissistic children, however for some of you there may be hope … that the rifts, behaviour and issues can heal.

The following are the pivotal questions that so many parents in this Community ask …

Boundaries – How To Have Difficult Conversations Without Fear Of Retaliation

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
28
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
28
  Today is a delicate conversation and a very necessary one. It is about all the reasons why we hand power away. WHY we don’t put our best foot forward. WHY we get tongue-tied and don’t know HOW to say what we need to … And how all of this is a deadly recipe for getting abused in a narcissistic relationship. But not just that … It is also the total reason we don’t get our needs met, get taken advantage of by other people and get emptied out to the point where we feel unappreciated, unloved and unsupported. (more…)

 

Today is a delicate conversation and a very necessary one.

It is about all the reasons why we hand power away.

WHY we don’t put our best foot forward.

WHY we get tongue-tied and don’t know HOW to say what we need to …

And how all of this is a deadly recipe for getting abused in a narcissistic relationship.

But not just that … It is also the total reason we don’t get our needs met, get taken advantage of by other people and get emptied out to the point where we feel unappreciated, unloved and unsupported.

What To Do When You Lose All Hope To Recover

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
38
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
38
  When we are broken, devastated and crawling through our life second to second and looking at the rubble of what used to be our life smashed to pieces on the ground, it may seem hopeless and helpless. It is really common for us Thrivers to experience people in the NARP Community starting their inner healing journey who admit they feel like it’s too late, they are too old, they have lost too much or they are too broken to heal. I promise you once upon a time I felt like I was never going to heal … and I can’t tell you how many people have told me the same things over the years – and many of these people I know now as incredible glowing Thrivers. During this video we take a deep dive into why is it that some people heal and Thrive, whereas others don’t. (more…)

 

When we are broken, devastated and crawling through our life second to second and looking at the rubble of what used to be our life smashed to pieces on the ground, it may seem hopeless and helpless.

It is really common for us Thrivers to experience people in the NARP Community starting their inner healing journey who admit they feel like it’s too late, they are too old, they have lost too much or they are too broken to heal.

I promise you once upon a time I felt like I was never going to heal … and I can’t tell you how many people have told me the same things over the years – and many of these people I know now as incredible glowing Thrivers.

During this video we take a deep dive into why is it that some people heal and Thrive, whereas others don’t.

How To Separate Your Identity From A Narcissist

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
36
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
36
  Naturally, when we realise that we have been narcissistically abused, it's normal to identify ourselves with it so closely that we are living and breathing “narcissism”. It’s like living smack bang in the center of a horror show. And … we can be forgiven for thinking that this deep identification with a narcissist is what we should be doing in order to grasp what has happened to us. However, this is exactly what this episode is about … how the very things we think can help sometimes are making matters worse ... and how until we “go Quantum” we don’t realise it! True Healing can never happen when we make our life all about “them” – spending extended time focusing on the narcissist, who they are, what they did and why they did it. (more…)

 

Naturally, when we realise that we have been narcissistically abused, it’s normal to identify ourselves with it so closely that we are living and breathing “narcissism”.

It’s like living smack bang in the center of a horror show.

And … we can be forgiven for thinking that this deep identification with a narcissist is what we should be doing in order to grasp what has happened to us.

However, this is exactly what this episode is about … how the very things we think can help sometimes are making matters worse … and how until we “go Quantum” we don’t realise it!

True Healing can never happen when we make our life all about “them” – spending extended time focusing on the narcissist, who they are, what they did and why they did it.

How To Co-Parent With A Narcissist – The Foundation

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
53
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
53
  I get asked this all the time … and I really want to do quite a few episodes on this topic for Thriver TV, because I am totally passionate about helping heal our children and our future generations. I know that many of you in this Community are dealing with all sorts of fear and pain regarding your children – such as co-parenting with a narcissist, and / or seeing the effects on your sons and daughters after you being involved with a narcissist – whether the narcissist was their parent or not. And as parents, we would do anything for our children, we would even lay down our lives for them. But maybe we haven’t realised that the ways we have been lecturing and prescribing whilst distressed and triggered has not been helping them at all. (more…)

 

I get asked this all the time … and I really want to do quite a few episodes on this topic for Thriver TV, because I am totally passionate about helping heal our children and our future generations.

I know that many of you in this Community are dealing with all sorts of fear and pain regarding your children – such as co-parenting with a narcissist, and / or seeing the effects on your sons and daughters after you being involved with a narcissist – whether the narcissist was their parent or not.

And as parents, we would do anything for our children, we would even lay down our lives for them. But maybe we haven’t realised that the ways we have been lecturing and prescribing whilst distressed and triggered has not been helping them at all.