Melanie Tonia Evans

Emotional Blackmail – The Devastating Weapon A Narcissist Uses To Betray You

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
45
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
45
  Today's episode is about a tragic situation you may have, or may still be dealing with, as a result of getting involved with a narcissist ... When they turn the tables and use your sensitive information against you. At first we did not realize that a narcissist is like the CIA building a dossier of information on us. We simply thought their attentiveness and attention was about genuine affection ... but the truth is it was about something much more sinister. (more…)

 

Today’s episode is about a tragic situation you may have, or may still be dealing with, as a result of getting involved with a narcissist …

When they turn the tables and use your sensitive information against you.

At first we did not realize that a narcissist is like the CIA building a dossier of information on us.

We simply thought their attentiveness and attention was about genuine affection … but the truth is it was about something much more sinister.

Why Unconditional Love Is The Key To A Fulfilling And Joyful Life

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
66
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
66
  I’ve been looking forward to covering this topic for some time, because there is much debate about the following question. What is unconditional love? Does it mean we give and give and give to others even when it hurts us? Does it mean that we give with no need for return? I believe knowing the answers to these questions is vital, because understanding exactly what unconditional love is and how to apply it to yourself and others has the power to not just heal yourself, but heal the entire world. (more…)

 

I’ve been looking forward to covering this topic for some time, because there is much debate about the following question.

What is unconditional love?

Does it mean we give and give and give to others even when it hurts us?

Does it mean that we give with no need for return?

I believe knowing the answers to these questions is vital, because understanding exactly what unconditional love is and how to apply it to yourself and others has the power to not just heal yourself, but heal the entire world.

What To Do When A Narcissist Swiftly Replaces You And Flaunts Their New Supply

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
65
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
65
  Is there any more soul crushing and punishing thing in our life than to be replaced with another love partner? Possibly not. And how horrifying is it to see the evidence of the narcissist and their new lover plastered all over social media enjoying a wonderful loved up time, whilst we can barely get out of bed, let alone function normally. If we have been discarded and replaced in a heartbeat, and the narcissist is cruelly rubbing our nose in it, the trauma may be so horrific that we feel like we want to literally die. (more…)

 

Is there any more soul crushing and punishing thing in our life than to be replaced with another love partner?

Possibly not.

And how horrifying is it to see the evidence of the narcissist and their new lover plastered all over social media enjoying a wonderful loved up time, whilst we can barely get out of bed, let alone function normally.

If we have been discarded and replaced in a heartbeat, and the narcissist is cruelly rubbing our nose in it, the trauma may be so horrific that we feel like we want to literally die.

10 Lessons Learned From Being Married To A Narcissist

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
52
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
52
  Being married to a narcissist taught me so much about myself, life and relationships that nothing other than being married to a narcissist could have taught me. Little did I know that the greatest crash-course I could imagine to the evolution of myself would be the by-product of being married to a narcissist – forever cleaning up my previous false beliefs that hadn’t been serving me. I finally gave up being a victim and took on the Thriver Way of personal responsibility – self-partnering, finding and releasing my wounds and growing up my under-developed Inner Identity parts up. (more…)

 

Being married to a narcissist taught me so much about myself, life and relationships that nothing other than being married to a narcissist could have taught me.

Little did I know that the greatest crash-course I could imagine to the evolution of myself would be the by-product of being married to a narcissist – forever cleaning up my previous false beliefs that hadn’t been serving me.

I finally gave up being a victim and took on the Thriver Way of personal responsibility – self-partnering, finding and releasing my wounds and growing up my under-developed Inner Identity parts up.

Why Narcissists Are So Cruel To You But Kind To Everyone Else

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
60
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
60
  When you start trying to explain the behaviour of a narcissist to someone else, they will more often than not counter your words by saying … “But he is such a great guy!” You can see them thinking … “Why is she so ungrateful?” And of course many people outside of the family home love the narcissistic woman because she is so accommodating, hospitable and charming and is always there to help anyone in need. But, we know this is SO not our experience of them! (more…)

 

When you start trying to explain the behaviour of a narcissist to someone else, they will more often than not counter your words by saying …

“But he is such a great guy!”

You can see them thinking … “Why is she so ungrateful?”

And of course many people outside of the family home love the narcissistic woman because she is so accommodating, hospitable and charming and is always there to help anyone in need.

But, we know this is SO not our experience of them!

What To Do When The Narcissist Infiltrates Your Dreams

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
19
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
19
  One of the most disturbing things about narcissistic abuse is that it often comes after you, even as you sleep. Just when you think you can get some relief from the aching torment of your waking life, the trauma insidiously finds its way into your dreams. Giving you nightmares. And they are horrible ones ... filled with big emotional content, charges and trauma. What do they mean? In this episode I want to share with you what they mean, as well as how to heal yourself to a level where you simply will not experience these awful narcissistic dreams anymore. (more…)

 

One of the most disturbing things about narcissistic abuse is that it often comes after you, even as you sleep.

Just when you think you can get some relief from the aching torment of your waking life, the trauma insidiously finds its way into your dreams.

Giving you nightmares.

And they are horrible ones … filled with big emotional content, charges and trauma.

What do they mean?

In this episode I want to share with you what they mean, as well as how to heal yourself to a level where you simply will not experience these awful narcissistic dreams anymore.

Flying Monkeys – The Minions Narcissists Use To Do Their Bidding

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
87
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
87
  Flying Monkeys is an expression that most people in narcissistic abuse communities know about. It’s used to describe the people who the narcissist convinces to do their bidding. Abuse by proxy (using other people to abuse us) is a such a common occurrence with narcissistic abuse, and in this episode I’m going to explain to you how to completely eradicate Flying Monkeys from your life – just as myself and thousands of other Thrivers have done. Because I know how awful it is to not only be dealing with the heartbreak and terror of what a narcissist is capable of doing to you … but to also have a minion of people hounding you and trying to bring you down is horrific. (more…)

 

Flying Monkeys is an expression that most people in narcissistic abuse communities know about.

It’s used to describe the people who the narcissist convinces to do their bidding.

Abuse by proxy (using other people to abuse us) is a such a common occurrence with narcissistic abuse, and in this episode I’m going to explain to you how to completely eradicate Flying Monkeys from your life – just as myself and thousands of other Thrivers have done.

Because I know how awful it is to not only be dealing with the heartbreak and terror of what a narcissist is capable of doing to you … but to also have a minion of people hounding you and trying to bring you down is horrific.

How To Start Healing When Everything Seems Helpless

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
38
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
38
  I really wanted to do this episode to help people who are traumatized beyond measure, and feel really mired in the helplessness of narcissistic abuse. I’ve been there myself … just as many people have – been in that place where there seems to be no hope, no way out and no way to rebuild. I know so many of us have lived that truth – when we are at the final breakdown stages with a narcissist. We know we can’t survive the abuse anymore, but we have no way to believe that we can survive if we leave either. (more…)

 

I really wanted to do this episode to help people who are traumatized beyond measure, and feel really mired in the helplessness of narcissistic abuse.

I’ve been there myself … just as many people have – been in that place where there seems to be no hope, no way out and no way to rebuild.

I know so many of us have lived that truth – when we are at the final breakdown stages with a narcissist. We know we can’t survive the abuse anymore, but we have no way to believe that we can survive if we leave either.

Why Do Narcissists Need To Manipulate?

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
29
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
29
  Being with a narcissist is maddening … it feels crazy as we watch them manipulating with constant lies and twists and turns. We may feel like we are trying to preach to a child … “Why don’t you just be honest with people?” And in relation to the ways the narcissist treats us … we wring our hands in despair with, “Rather than play dirty, why don’t you just ask for what you want honestly?” Why on earth do they do what they do? Why do virtually all narcissists use the same manipulative tactics? (more…)

 

Being with a narcissist is maddening … it feels crazy as we watch them manipulating with constant lies and twists and turns.

We may feel like we are trying to preach to a child … “Why don’t you just be honest with people?”

And in relation to the ways the narcissist treats us … we wring our hands in despair with, “Rather than play dirty, why don’t you just ask for what you want honestly?”

Why on earth do they do what they do?

Why do virtually all narcissists use the same manipulative tactics?

How I Healed From Adrenal Malfunction After Being Told It Was Incurable

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
37
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
37
  Adrenal malfunction is serious and it is a chronic problem for so many people in this Community. It’s the common by-product of the horrific impact of narcissistic abuse – when our stress hormones go into overdrive trying to cope with the crazy-making, the unsafe twists, turns and stunts that narcissists do, as well as the malicious, unthinkable trauma they bring into our lives and to the people who we love. When our adrenals no longer function as they should, our ability to switch of fight or flee is severely compromised and the symptoms are debilitating to say the least. They include such things as hair loss, appetite problems, sleeping disorders, premature aging, the risk of heart attack or stroke, and many other dis-eases due to a stressed immune system – including cancer. (more…)

 

Adrenal malfunction is serious and it is a chronic problem for so many people in this Community.

It’s the common by-product of the horrific impact of narcissistic abuse – when our stress hormones go into overdrive trying to cope with the crazy-making, the unsafe twists, turns and stunts that narcissists do, as well as the malicious, unthinkable trauma they bring into our lives and to the people who we love.

When our adrenals no longer function as they should, our ability to switch of fight or flee is severely compromised and the symptoms are debilitating to say the least.

They include such things as hair loss, appetite problems, sleeping disorders, premature aging, the risk of heart attack or stroke, and many other dis-eases due to a stressed immune system – including cancer.