Melanie Tonia Evans

3 Counter-Intuitive Steps To Speed Up Your Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  I believe, sadly, that much of what we are told about how to heal doesn't help us. Previously, in my own journey with healing from narcissistic abuse, when I thought I had found ‘the way’ and did what other people advised me to do, I experienced coming up empty over and over again. The things I was doing sometimes brought some temporary relief, yet the horrible trauma of feeling like the narcissist was crawling under my skin as well as the haunting obsessions and fear of surviving the trauma and creating a new future, kept coming at me relentlessly – and just didn’t stop. I know so many of you, like I have felt, feel like you are failing. (more…)

 

I believe, sadly, that much of what we are told about how to heal doesn’t help us.

Previously, in my own journey with healing from narcissistic abuse, when I thought I had found ‘the way’ and did what other people advised me to do, I experienced coming up empty over and over again.

The things I was doing sometimes brought some temporary relief, yet the horrible trauma of feeling like the narcissist was crawling under my skin as well as the haunting obsessions and fear of surviving the trauma and creating a new future, kept coming at me relentlessly – and just didn’t stop.

I know so many of you, like I have felt, feel like you are failing.

Should You Make A Narcissist Pay?

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  There are SO many things narcissists do which are totally out of bounds! They lie and betray us to family and friends, work colleagues and bosses. They try to get us taken down by authorities, potentially destroying our incomes, mental functioning and any future ability to generate our lives. The narcissist’s abuse may have destroyed not just our connections and our welfare, but also our health … you may now have so many chronic health conditions that it takes everything to merely survive your everyday existence. And, we believing this person loved us, as they were telling us what we wanted to hear, whilst taking our resources, energy, time, money, souls, sexuality and best years, in order to maintain their own egos. (more…)

 

There are SO many things narcissists do which are totally out of bounds!

They lie and betray us to family and friends, work colleagues and bosses.

They try to get us taken down by authorities, potentially destroying our incomes, mental functioning and any future ability to generate our lives.

The narcissist’s abuse may have destroyed not just our connections and our welfare, but also our health … you may now have so many chronic health conditions that it takes everything to merely survive your everyday existence.

And, we believing this person loved us, as they were telling us what we wanted to hear, whilst taking our resources, energy, time, money, souls, sexuality and best years, in order to maintain their own egos.

Can You Be An Empath Without Being A Target For Narcissists?

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  I am proud of caring about other people – and I know you are too. But do we, as a result of having been abused, have to toughen up, guard our heart, stop being giving and trusting and shut down to ourselves, life and others in order to be safe? The great news is I don’t believe we have to … and in today’s Thriver TV episode I am going to take you through a step-by-step journey today, to show you how you can be an awesome, beautiful, giving person AND be safe …. not just from narcissists, but also safeguarded against being taken for granted by anyone ever again. Today’s episode is all about being a beautiful, kind-hearted person who will never get taken down by a narcissist again – The Quantum Way. (more…)

 

I am proud of caring about other people – and I know you are too.

But do we, as a result of having been abused, have to toughen up, guard our heart, stop being giving and trusting and shut down to ourselves, life and others in order to be safe?

The great news is I don’t believe we have to … and in today’s Thriver TV episode I am going to take you through a step-by-step journey today, to show you how you can be an awesome, beautiful, giving person AND be safe …. not just from narcissists, but also safeguarded against being taken for granted by anyone ever again.

Today’s episode is all about being a beautiful, kind-hearted person who will never get taken down by a narcissist again – The Quantum Way.

The Day I Broke No Contact

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  Today, I  want to share with you my candid story about what happened when I contacted narcissist number 1 after ONE YEAR of No Contact. At the time, I felt like a year of the white-knuckling agony – the effort and supreme will-power to stay away – had all been for nothing. Which plummeted me into the absolute depths of despair – a deep black hole I believed there was no escape from. Yet … I got out of that terrible place, and I was able to claim the wonderful experiences of life and love that I hadn’t yet known were possible. (more…)

 

Today, I  want to share with you my candid story about what happened when I contacted narcissist number 1 after ONE YEAR of No Contact.

At the time, I felt like a year of the white-knuckling agony – the effort and supreme will-power to stay away – had all been for nothing.

Which plummeted me into the absolute depths of despair – a deep black hole I believed there was no escape from.

Yet … I got out of that terrible place, and I was able to claim the wonderful experiences of life and love that I hadn’t yet known were possible.

My Favourite Way To Set Boundaries That Stick

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  Setting boundaries can be incredibly confusing and sometimes even terrifying. What if you’re unclear about your personal rights? Or, are susceptible to being talked out of them? How on earth do you get people to respect your boundaries – even if you can identify them and express them? Is it possible to lay boundaries, not get sucked into arguments about them, and just have them stick? (more…)

 

Setting boundaries can be incredibly confusing and sometimes even terrifying.

What if you’re unclear about your personal rights?

Or, are susceptible to being talked out of them?

How on earth do you get people to respect your boundaries – even if you can identify them and express them?

Is it possible to lay boundaries, not get sucked into arguments about them, and just have them stick?

Why People Attract Narcissists

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  It's a sad truth, that if we've been hooked by a narcissist in the past, it's very likely that we'll have encounters with more in the future. You may have had the experience of seeing narcissists 'everywhere' and feel like a small fish in a sea of sharks every time you step foot out into the world. If you are anything like I was, you might be incredibly sick of continually attracting toxic people into your life and just wish that you could finally connect with healthy, authentic and supportive people instead. How do we do this? (more…)

 

It’s a sad truth, that if we’ve been hooked by a narcissist in the past, it’s very likely that we’ll have encounters with more in the future.

You may have had the experience of seeing narcissists ‘everywhere’ and feel like a small fish in a sea of sharks every time you step foot out into the world.

If you are anything like I was, you might be incredibly sick of continually attracting toxic people into your life and just wish that you could finally connect with healthy, authentic and supportive people instead.

How do we do this?

How To Use The Holiday Period To Heal In The Most Spectacular Way

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  First off, I want to wish all of our lovely American Thriver Family a wonderful Thanksgiving this week! Because we are heading into the holiday season, I really wanted to do this Thriver TV episode to help you stay safe and maintain your peace this Christmas ... And also to explain how you can use this time to heal in the most spectacular way. If you are dreading holiday time, my heart goes out to you. You may still be suffering the trauma of what happened to you, or be in terrible battles with the narcissist over custody and property. (more…)

 

First off, I want to wish all of our lovely American Thriver Family a wonderful Thanksgiving this week!

Because we are heading into the holiday season, I really wanted to do this Thriver TV episode to help you stay safe and maintain your peace this Christmas …

And also to explain how you can use this time to heal in the most spectacular way.

If you are dreading holiday time, my heart goes out to you. You may still be suffering the trauma of what happened to you, or be in terrible battles with the narcissist over custody and property.

How Narcissistic Abuse Taught Me To Be A Source To Myself

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  I talk in the Community, a lot, about how important it is to become a source to ourselves, so that we can stop handing power over to narcissists – False Selves. And, also, so that we become powerful creators of our own lives, without dependence on anyone else to provide it for us. And then I realised – I had never done a Thriver TV episode specifically on this! In today's video, I am going to be addressing the four key elements of self: self-love, self-approval, security and survival and how you can identify if you are deficient in some or all of these areas. Personally, before recovering from narcissistic abuse, despite appearing outwardly that I had my life together, I was a complete disaster in all of these areas. (more…)

 

I talk in the Community, a lot, about how important it is to become a source to ourselves, so that we can stop handing power over to narcissists – False Selves. And, also, so that we become powerful creators of our own lives, without dependence on anyone else to provide it for us.

And then I realised – I had never done a Thriver TV episode specifically on this!

In today’s video, I am going to be addressing the four key elements of self: self-love, self-approval, security and survival and how you can identify if you are deficient in some or all of these areas.

Personally, before recovering from narcissistic abuse, despite appearing outwardly that I had my life together, I was a complete disaster in all of these areas.

5 Ways To Rebuild Your Self-Worth After Narcissistic Abuse

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  After being narcissistically abused, your self-worth is stripped. And why wouldn’t it be when every insecurity, fear and inadequacy you have felt about yourself, others and life has erupted and blown up in your face? After being narcissistically abused, not only do we doubt that we are lovable, desirable, capable or adequate, we even doubt our ability to stay vertical, survive our wounds or live as a human being on this planet, in a way that is not tormenting beyond belief. If we thought we have had doubts about our Self before narcissistic abuse, now it has gone to unthinkable levels. Today, in this episode, I want to grant you 5 ways that you can start rebuilding your self-worth after narcissistic abuse. (more…)

 

After being narcissistically abused, your self-worth is stripped. And why wouldn’t it be when every insecurity, fear and inadequacy you have felt about yourself, others and life has erupted and blown up in your face?

After being narcissistically abused, not only do we doubt that we are lovable, desirable, capable or adequate, we even doubt our ability to stay vertical, survive our wounds or live as a human being on this planet, in a way that is not tormenting beyond belief.

If we thought we have had doubts about our Self before narcissistic abuse, now it has gone to unthinkable levels.

Today, in this episode, I want to grant you 5 ways that you can start rebuilding your self-worth after narcissistic abuse.

The Best Way To Set Yourself Free From A Narcissistic Relationship

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  One of the hardest things to do in our life is to forgive the unforgivable. How can we achieve it? Why do we even need to achieve it? The reason I’m sharing this video with you, today, is because I too have known the torturous state of not being able to get over the past. The pain of the past can be crippling. And even though we may have left a situation and / or person behind, and moved on physically, we can still be stuck in the emotional damage. It feels so painfully real, it’s as if the events and violations are still continuing. (more…)

 

One of the hardest things to do in our life is to forgive the unforgivable. How can we achieve it? Why do we even need to achieve it?

The reason I’m sharing this video with you, today, is because I too have known the torturous state of not being able to get over the past.

The pain of the past can be crippling. And even though we may have left a situation and / or person behind, and moved on physically, we can still be stuck in the emotional damage.

It feels so painfully real, it’s as if the events and violations are still continuing.