Being financially dependent on a narcissist is something I’ve wanted to write about as a priority, because I know this topic is so big for many of you.
Especially as my beautiful support team at our weekly meeting said āMel please do an article on this topic – our community needs it!ā
I am really keen to do this, because I know how many women, after narcissistic abuse, are intensely traumatised not knowing how they are going to restart their life.
Please know that this will also apply to you if financial fears, battles and dependencies are your painful struggle. This may not be to do with a spouse or love partner ā it could also be to do with a parent or any narcissist in your life.
To prepare for writing this, I shared on social media, asking those who have had breakthroughs to help inspire others. So thank you for your contributions – because truly todayās article is a team effort with our beautiful community ā and as I say often āWe ARE all in this together.ā
In our new world of evolving Unity Consciousness this is going to become more and more apparent ā how can we relate to each other and lift each other up?
Letās get started with looking at the limiting DNA programming that often haunts women in regard to being able to provide for themselves and their children.
Womenās Financial Fears
It is not so long ago, in the blink of an eye, that women had real-world financial limitations and restrictions. In many parts of the world this is still the case.
Please note I am not saying this to attack men ā I know there are many wonderful men in the world. Even back in the day of the suffragettes when brave women stood up against the government for their rights, there were wonderful men who stood beside them.
In our so-called civilized countries, women who were divorced (and sometimes their children too) may not have had any financial rights, and had limited workplace options because of low wages and grave discrimination if they were single.
Today much of this has shifted, but in our female DNA lies the terrible fears and limits of āwithout a man I canāt surviveā ā because truly once upon a time this was literal. Even today, regardless of her earning capacity or talents, for a woman it can feel as though she is “thrown out of the cave and will dieā if a man leaves or replaces her, or if she has to get up the courage to leave.
I promise you I have met successful wealthy women who also feel this deep dread, powerlessness and terror.
Of course, many a woman within a narcissistic relationship raised the children, backed her man with his career (even at the expense of giving up her own missions and passions), or has been guilted, manipulated or forced into forgoing her financial earnings by the narcissistic partner.
Narcissistic relationships are fraught with creating dependency, servitude and powerlessness ā because that allows the narcissist greater control over their partner. The narcissist can get away with worse behaviour ā belittling, degrading, abusing and even cheating ā knowing this person is unlikely to leave. There’s also a greater ability to control this person because they are not leaving the house to go to work. Itās easier to monitor and isolate them, as well as declare complete dominion over the money.
For the partner or spouse, being out of the workplace brings a further breakdown of self-esteem, confidence, health, and the capacity to go back out into the workforce.
After years of looking after the children, and then finally being discarded by the narcissist or getting the courage to leave and stay away, there is usually the belief that you donāt have the education, youth or capacity now to re-enter the workforce.
Couple this with the aforementioned Ā inherent female DNA terror of āI need a man to surviveā as well as āI have no place as myself in societyā and in spite of how the world offers so much more now for women, these enormous internal belief systems can make the obstacles to leaving seem insurmountable.
Inner Recovery of Female Power
My Quantum Work is about helping people understand that when you shift on the inside, the fears and feelings of powerlessness start to dissolve away. Where those old clogged up feelings were, peace, calm and āspaceā enter instead.
From there inspiration emerges. This is felt as intuitive ideas. Opportunities start to show up, as external cues to ānotice and think about thisā, or ālook hereā, and they can come from the most unexpected sources. This is because of your inner world of calm, connecting with the outer world of miracle, to start delivering you forward into your inherent wellbeing.
I promise you with all of my heart, where there was āno wayā, the āwayā starts to appear.
Thatās what today’s conversation is all about, and the beginning point is about releasing ourselves from the ātrapā of being dependent upon an abuser as our Source, instead of letting go and co-partnering with True Source to become our own Source.
A Deeper Look at Abuser Dependency
A message that came through in the NARP Community Forum perfectly expresses this ā¦ āThis discussion is such a gift to me right now. I have been working through the fact that my fear of financial insecurity keeps me tied to narcs as my source of self.ā
How true. We may know that we are stuck and dependent, but be too scared of letting go to take care of ourselves. I have met so many people over the years who stay stuck with narcissists for financial reasons, and of course, it is perfectly understandable especially if you have kids.
However narcissistic abuse is a powerful spiritual lesson. We are in a battle for our soul, and the souls of those we love, as per how we lead the way. If we stay stuck because of the fear of finances this is not a choice of soul truth, or putting our faith in Source / Prime Creator.
I understand, because this is how we have been programmed to think and believe.
In the past, I too sold my soul for money, and bricks and mortar. I know this sounds blunt, however it is true. I hung on for the money, to try to minimise what I would lose and save what I brought into the relationship. I was devastated by the thought of him taking it away from me. Not only did IĀ have a fear of loss, and āhow will I rebuild after losing everything Iāve worked forā, but my ego was also invested because I thought āthe stuffā was my identity.
As it turned out I lost it all anyway, as well as putting myself on the razorās edge of losing my soul, my life and everything that really mattered: my sanity, lifeforce and ability to ābeā in life as a free and healthy person.
Eventually I learned that letting go and choosing my soul first was the only way out. I learned to honour my soul, and that is when Life started supporting me abundantly. But that couldnāt happen until I had come to peace with how honouring my soul had to become my highest priority.
I had to accept that I couldnāt stay and hang on to the burning sinking ship if I was going to value my soul. I couldnāt have my cake and eat it as well. I couldnāt metaphorically keep taking heroin whilst I was trying to recover from it. I had to make a choice. I had to break free from my dependency, and from the hooks and the control he had over me with money and āstuffā.
Please know I understand how difficult it is to be in this situation. Truly I do. I see this happen all around me. I also see the miracles happen with breathtaking synchronicity when we use the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program (NARP) to lose those traumas and fears. Then we are able to choose our soul, and lead the way for ourselves, our children and humanity itself.
I see peace, relief, joy and power start to take hold where the trauma, abuse and terror once was. I adore that in our wonderful community we hold eachother when we slip backwards, cheer on the steps forwards, and support and celebrate these new emerging Selves ā the women who have shifted from being helplessness and traumatised into being powerful, confident and courageous.
And I promise you this has nothing to do with age, education or even what we may think of as āworkforce capacityā or āexperience.ā When Source fills you, all things are possible and you are no longer limited by any outer āstatistics and realities.ā
Womenās Breakthrough Stories To Inspire You
Leahās story is one many will relate to ā being reduced to having no confidence, energy or feelings of capacity to fend for yourself and your children after the relationship ends.
Leah wrote:
āI allowed my narc ex (and his family) to reduce me to a mere shadow of who I was, over a 20-year period. His family overtly criticised my character, ethnicity and intelligence/career choice. After we were married at 30 (and over our 10-year marriage), he denigrated my career choice as a teacher and consistently minimised my contribution when I started my cake business. I worked three jobs at one stage while raising my children alone (he was always “working”) but since I was a low-income earner, which I was constantly reminded of, I felt like an absolute nothing with no value.
When I finally left him at age 41, I felt completely demoralised, unworthy, undeserving and stupid with about $500 to my name. After a 3 year battle trying to “prove my worth” and financial contribution (where the financial abuse really kicked in), and where he would repeatedly tell my children that I was a ‘lazy, useless Aussie’ and ‘undeserving’ of “his” money and property, I spent every single day on my healing (with NARP) and last year I was vindicated through the courts, coming out with a healthy settlement.
I rebuilt my career, re-established myself as a well-respected teacher and have since completed my studies obtaining a Diploma in TCM and am starting an online art business.
When I hear negative comments now from my son about how his dad thinks I’m “useless”, I just smile to myself and remember who I am. I look at my experience as a great blessing – if it weren’t for him and his family, I would have never known my real worth. Something nobody can ever take away from me again.
Melanie Tonia Evans, your NARP program was a major part of my healing and I am forever grateful..Ā I hope my story gives hope to others.ā
You may say, āWell Leah was only 41 when she rebuilt her life ā what if Iām older and I just donāt have these opportunities.ā
On Facebook, Debra shared a beautiful account of her new life purpose after narcissistic abuse:
āI escaped a 41 year marriage, together 43 years. I was too old and broken to go back to nursing, but I’ve been doing Melanie Tonia Evansā courses, I’m healing and loving myself now. And my ‘ work’ is being able to do childcare for my 5 grandchildren. He’s not contacted his ( our) 4 children in the 2 years since I left. Thank you Melanie, you’ve saved my life and my soul. ā
And then there is Martha, on her way to breaking free into her own financial independence after years of not working.
āAfter almost 30 years of being verbally, emotionally, and financially abused and being told my paycheck meant nothing, which continued after divorce…I was broken. I reached a low this Summer when I thought I couldn’t get any lower.
I was deeply lost in the ‘why’ of it all. It felt like a poison that was slowly killing me. My kids and friends were very concerned and I couldn’t stand myself.
I applied for a couple of jobs, never expecting to get one after years of not working and feeling completely useless and insecure. I got both!! I was petrified!!! I started praying for strength and taking it one day at a time.
Almost a month later, I am not ‘financially free’ but I am starting to feel necessary and useful again. My kids and friends are starting to see the real me again. Even tho I am taking it one day at a time, I am slowly gaining strength and confidence and FEELING like me again. I am always waiting for “the other shoe” to drop or a set back, I feel like I am always looking over my shoulder for the Narc to break me, I am hoping, finally with time and continuing to find strength in your teachings Melanie, because you and your village validate that I am not alone, and the continued love and support from great friends and my kids That feeling will weaken and become more manageable. Thank you!ā
A beautiful story that I share often in this wonderful community is a previous client who was married to a wealthy, powerful and very abusive narcissist. She left with one small suitcase, went to a womenās shelter and began healing determinedly with NARP there. All of her possessions and property were with him, and because in her words āhe owned the courts in that townā she decided to leave with ONLY her soul. This brave lady had not worked for decades and was well beyond the age we would traditionally believe was āemployable.ā
Whilst in the womenās shelter, committed to her healing, an old friend messaged her. This friend had an art gallery in the country and invited my client to stay in a cottage on the grounds and help out.
This led to her learning sculpting and loving her new life. She became financially successful in selling her creations in the gallery, and she met a wonderful man who became her life partner. My client also generated a whole new set of genuine friends, and her once alienated children returned into her life with love and respect.
Her ex husband left her alone, moved on and allowed her to divorce him.
She said not for ANYTHING would she EVER go back to her old life and that now, she has never been happier.
You may think all of this is coincidence. I can assure you it is not. Itās the result of Quantum Law ā so within, so without. As a result of healing herself on the inside, her outer world shifted to match this. This Law is as absolute as gravity! Hence if we stay clogged up with internal trauma (pain and fear) it doesnāt matter what we try to DO ā nothing changes, because WE havenāt changed!
This is why I so passionately promote the NARP inner work, because it creates REAL change, and I have seen every woman (without exception) who develops her inner being start becoming self-generative and Source-filled in her real outer life.
Source provides, when you partner YOU.
In Conclusion
I hope that todayās article can help you have hope and know that there is LIFE after narcissistic abuse, no matter how much you have lost, how old you are, how hopeless it feels or how much your heart has been broken. What you are going through does not have to be your life sentence. There is MORE for you after this.
Iād love to hear from you! Do you feel stuck financially as a result of narcissistic abuse? Do you know in you heart of hearts that your life is NOT meant to be like this? Would you like help and coaching from me and my beautiful team to help you get your life, power and confidence back?
Let me know in the comments below.
I need help! I have a child with the narc..I’m being verbally, financially and emotionally abused. I don’t deserve this.
Dear Lisa….You have to leave the NARC. Start your escape plan ASAP. You may have to leave valuables behind when you make the break. You childs future and your life are in peril.
It took me about 3 months to plan my escape from my abusive NARC. It was a no-=brainer……
anything left behind has been replaced totally.
You can do iit. Many of us Thrivers have moved on from abuse.
Focus all your energy, spirit and survival on a new life that can be yours.
Go back and research all of Mel`s videos and knowleger on becoming the person you are ment to be…..
Hi Lisa,
Sometimes the roles are reversed! After years of verbal, emotional and financial abuse by a stone cold narcissist I am left now having to manage my sons difficulties that he is going through as a result of his mother’s erratic and awful behavior…. when I get phone calls or text messages from her complaining that my son doesn’t want to go along with her parenting strategy and new lifestyle she asks me to go and talk to him. It’s a very uncomfortable situation!
That is exactly what I am going through, I have a baby girl with her who is 3 months old now. How can I leave her with my GF narc, I want to walk away but I feel completely trapped. How can I make any judge see that this woman is evil, I can’t just walk out on my baby girl.
Hi Mel I’m enquiring on what help/coaching is avail for gaining back confidence to return to work after 20years of dv and raising children, on the peninsula. I have moved forward on my own with the kids, but after having therapy i still feel stuck in this area of career and work and earning my income not knowing how or where to go in school hours. I do have a lot of lived experience to help others. Hope you have some advice. Thanks š
Hi Lisa,
my highest recommendation for you is our global online healing, training and support community.
This is how I and so many others broke through to Thrive! NARP and what comes with NARP has everything that you need.
http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp
I hope this helps
Mel ššš¦
Thank you, Mel, Iāve read most of your blogs for the past 10 years, but never commented until today because this topic is so big for so many of us. I had 4 kids aged 6-16 when he started to assault me. I had just started to work again as a teacher after 15 years isolated as a stay at home, homeschooling mother. It took me 8 years to get him out and another 5 years in divorce court. Over that period I worked in 8 different schools, as well as cashiered in a grocery store. After the divorce I lived in a basement room in another city where I took a job that paid 2 times what I was making where my home was located in order to get a mortgage to refinance my home (I had to take on all the debt incurred in the marriage in order to stay in my home). Today Iām living back in my house and earning more than I ever thought possible. It only happened because I healed my trauma, stepped far out of my comfort zone, and had very concrete goals of what I needed and wanted. I was prepared to lose my house but that didnāt happen. Itās truly breathtaking how much confidence I gained along the way (and I was 58 when I finally got divorced) . I had to stop feeling like a victim, stop blaming him, and get working . Yes, he victimized me and my kids, but once away from him he was no longer relevant and had no power. I also got healthy through better diet and exercise, which made me feel stronger and no longer depressed. So within, so without! Mel is right, and I hope anyone reading this will do the healing work so you can live the life you want and deserve.
This is a powerful testimony. I am 2 1/2 years into a divorce from an alcoholic narc. We had a sucessful ornamentals business that seemed to be destroyed – through poor management? That was 10 years ago. I was hanging on as a new mid-life mother, and working full time, then homeschooling…until he devised a plan to force me out. It is unbelieveable to consider writing this!!! I have gained a new position as an Agriculture Agent – now looking at refinancing our home – so I can move back there (by my 58th birthday Dec 1st). Part of me wonders if I am to move back…perhaps there are still too many ghosts or demons. I am seeking wisdom – if it is meant to be. I truly just want my daughter with me – and wish to be as far away from him…because of all the tricks and traps and financial devastation he’s caused. I hope to move through this to find greater purpose on the land, clarity and creative energy that brings forth new opportunities and blessings.
This is a powerful testimony. I am 2 1/2 years into a divorce from an alcoholic narc. We had a sucessful ornamentals business that seemed to be destroyed – through poor management? That was 10 years ago. I was hanging on as a new mid-life mother, and working full time, then homeschooling…until he devised a plan to force me out. It is unbelieveable to even consider I am writing this!!! It hasn’t seemed real that I have had to suffer through this trauma. Fortunately in early 2022 -I gained a new position as an Agriculture Agent – now looking at refinancing our home – so I can move back there (by my 58th birthday Dec 1st). Part of me wonders if it is wise to move back…? Perhaps there are still too many ghosts or demons? My daughter likes the old farmhouse – and we hope to do things – to raise chickens and make things. I am seeking wisdom…How do I know if it is meant to be? I wish I could have a truly NEW – LIFE giving experience -taking me out of the ordinary to something truly extra-ordinary! I truly just want my daughter with me – and wish to be as far away from him…because of all the tricks and traps and financial devastation he’s caused. I hope to move through this to find greater purpose on the land, clarity and creative energy that brings forth new opportunities and blessings.
That’s so beautiful Maria that you have broken through!
Big kudos to you!
Mel ššš¦
Thank you Melanie. I just ended my relationship of 23 years to a narc about a week ago. I am unable to buy your program YET. But thank you for all these articles, free programs and free webinar to start me on my journey. I started working on myself about 8 months ago after My common lawed husband Raged and almost killed my whole family during a tornado. I have read a lot about Narcs, but after a while it was just hurting me more, so I started focusing on myself. This would irritate my husband for I was putting up boundries for I was finding my old me and found my self worth. Then I started figuring out why I accepted this behavior from him. I came to realize my internal family were Narcs- Father and two sisters. Then one day with my husband it just snapped. I am not doing this any more, I deserve more and worth more than I was treated. Now is the scary part, he is not giving me money and it has been only a week. I know his life is crumbling. As soon as I get more money I am buying your program. I know I will get there. I just have to be patient with myself. Thank you again. and Blessing coming your way.
Hi Samantha,
It’s my pleasure, and I’m so pleased that I can help.
It’s beautiful that you are choosing you and we look forward to welcoming you into our NARP family with open arms!
Mel ššš¦
I was so excited to see this article but felt at a loss for 2 reasons. One is how do you do this if you are permanently disabled from the narc, out of the workforce for 20 years and have a child who is neurodivergent and a pet, who is the childās emotional support animal. He wrecked my car and credit recently and smeared my name and all my family is passed. How on earth do you escape that? He is brilliant and vindictive and tried to kill me this time last year. If it werenāt for my disabilities I would feel more confident, but Iām very reliant upon his help and he knows it. I have yet to see a story about anyone with disabilities and/or a child or children on the spectrum. I know it doesnāt do them any good to be in a toxic environment and they are certainly my priority, but the shelters here are full and donāt take pets and heās left me with nothing to leave with, since he took my physicality from me. Thanks yāall, for reading and your inspiring stories, and Mel for all you do. I am just at a loss.
Hi Darcy,
I am so sorry that you are dealing with all of this.
It is very true that you are up against incredible odds … but I do know, if able to release inner trauma the space can open up for positive change – because with Source all things are possible.
There are many people such as myself who were given “no hope” prognosis with our health .. and also there are those with special needs kids who have been able to get away from N”s and gain support and solutions.
My heart goes out to you and I can’t even begin to imagine the limitations you are facing – and yet I will say to you – when the trauma leaves your body and Source fills that space relief, power, support and miracle can enter.
So much love to you
Mel ššš¦
Hello Darcy, my heart goes out to you as I understand what you are going through. What you’re facing is reality. Only women who have been in your shoes understands the difficult task ahead of you. We all know that the thing to do to is to get out of that horrible toxic environment but women in abusive situation need help from government agencies, shelters and more resources. Program like the one offered here is great but not everybody can afford it. I say to you DEMAND help until you get it. Knock on every door and never give up. l am disabled, and I know how difficult it is. If the shelters are full, surely, they can provide you with resources. DO NOT GIVE UP! YOU AND YOUR FAMILY DESERVE BETTER!
Hi Yvonne,
(also for Darcy).
Please know we do offer sponsorship to people in limiting financial circumstances onto NARP, as we do not wish anyone to not have access to this incredible healing Program.
You can write in to [email protected] for further details.
I hope this helps.
Mel ššš¦
Excellent article Melanie! Thank you for the reassurance..
Hi Viklizbeth,
I’m so pleased this resonated with you and has helped.
Much Love to you
Mel ššš¦
I worked outside the home, but as an adjunct community college ESL instructor, it finally dawned on me that I had been working 2/3 of my hours for no pay whatsoever. It left a bad taste in my mouth about teaching. It’s discouraging that I allowed myself to be so devalued not only at home, but also professionally.
Thanks for this Mel as always inspiring. I am a single mum of 4 children who left their narcissistic father 16years ago. At the time I had one starting High School, one at primary and two year old twins at home, my family in Nz (I live in the Uk) and had been isolated from friends and community. I woke up on my birthday and it was very clear I couldnāt live with his control anymore. I thought that was the end of the manipulation and abuse and I was free. After we split he paid generous maintenance if I toed the line on child care arrangements. These ensured I never got more than a 24 hour break and enabled him to continue his affair (I didnāt know about this, started when I was pregnant with twins) and fitted around his work and travel. I tried everything (even my solicitor had no success) to change the arrangements as I needed time to recharge, to be me and build a life that supported me. So after years of trying to juggle it all I just stopped fitting in with his plans and said no. By this time I had done much self healing including the NARP program. He cut the maintenance to the legal minimum hiding much from the tax man to less than a 1/3rd but by this time I had established my business as a yoga/meditation teacher. It was tight for a while but we survived and as my belief in my ability to support us and make good financial choices grew we have been fine. My older two are independent now and I have 17 yr old twins at home who arrange to see their dad for about 2 hours a week. I have no contact with him at all but do have to mop up the emotional mess he leaves them in at times. They are gradually seeing the truth of it all. So I just want to tell my story so that others know you can be happy and healthy again but you do need to face your own limiting self beliefs and trust your soul guidance and when it says āenoughā find a way out.
My new challenge is realising my 17 yr old daughter is showing narcissistic behaviours so I would appreciate an article on coping with narcissistic dependent teenagers as I need to teach her twin how to keep whole and healthy while sitting his A levels as well as set boundaries with her. This is the first time I have commented so thank you šš
Hi Teresa,
it’s my pleasure.
I love that you have been working and healing with NARP, and you have done such an amazing job of getting through everything that you have had to deal with – it really is huge! And my team would love to help you with the next stages that you are dealing with including your daughter.
My highest suggestion in how we can help you is to come into the NARP member’s forum, where the love, support and solutions are accessible to you.
http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/member
I hope that this helps and thank you for being an inspiration to other lovely members in our community.
Mel ššš¦
I am always inspired by You Endlessly Giving Your Heart for us Melanie!
I know this all came from the pain you had, endured AND Overcame! True Victory! Yay!
Me too!
Narcissism pays so wellā¦just prey on anotherās insecuritiesā¦make up impossible challengesā¦ move the targetā¦above allā¦never let your victim win! At all cost..they must not win more than a morsel!
CRAPā¦is their Motto and Their Operating System! Hail Chaos!
We feed them with our sorrow, our insecurities and our āneedā for loveā¦
Really sucks when we findā¦all the LOVE we ever needed inside ourselvesā¦learn we never ever needed to kiss arse to get it!
We enable them! We actually create and feed their appetite and incredible growthā¦
Why would they cease when it takes so little effort to āget ourās?ā
We do this at an extreme costā¦our soul!
Quit being a targetā¦quit being a magnet for them to feed onā¦I was the worst! (just kiddingā¦all of us the same!)
By not saying NO! In all actualityā¦in reality we are incredibly selfish by enabling them to not take responsibility, not hold them accountable!
Our payoff? We get to be victims and feel sorry for ourselvesā¦still not taking personal responsibility to heal our woundsā¦stand up for ourselvesā¦learn something new or apply all we know to produce a product or service that actually solves a need in societyā¦a healthy one please?
The right people to āback us upāā¦will show up at just the right timeā¦
Always plenty of people to attack usā¦it doesnāt go away completelyā¦most is avoidableā¦if we rise above itā¦donāt play their game!
Whether we call it God, Sourceā¦Law of Attractionā¦whateverā¦we always get the Lessons and Resources we needā¦it wonāt go away until this lesson is resolvedā¦
Heal Thyself!
Stop needing the Narc!
Love to all!
As Always Melā¦You Are Awesome And Amazing! What a Heart you haveā¦and Shareā¦Freely!
James
Hi James,
I love that you understand the relationship with a narcissist so clearly!
Thank you for your lovely support.
Love and blessings to you
Mel ššš¦
Dear Melanie,
Your article and the testimonials have shone a light on a topic I have felt shame about, feeling I should have known better to get involved in the first place, but the promise of adventure and luxury lured me in. As an already wounded and not all that evolved person at the inception of the relationship and I now look back and wonder why I did not leave after a few dates. But I clung and saw him as a life saver. Now, I know what I have to do with NARPS help, but it sure feels uphill. At the end of the day I was taken to paradise( great places), to experience hell with him. Regards and a big thank you. Maybe you could also write something regarding shame and guilt and the role these disabling emotions play within ourselves.
Hi Monfluer,
please know the shame and guilt is such a part of this – and I absolutely will write to this!
I want you to know Monfluer that by working Module 1 on exactly that – those feelings of shame and guilt – takin them to this Module you will be able to shift out of these feelings faster than you can imagine.
Relief is not far away and Please know we are all sending you love and healing.
Mel ššš¦
Thank you Melanie for this very insightful article and thank you for relaying hopeful experiences. The best advice I have followed is to delay the procedure as much as needed in order to heal and let go of expectations. My future ex has tried all the tricks in his book, especially destabilizing and goalpost shifting. As a covert narcissist his main obsession is to always come across as the victim and to withhold finances, information in general whilst smearing and deflecting any responsibility. The most difficult thing to understand and accept is that he is incapable of considering a win-win settlement, there needs to be a winner and a loser, and I need to lose. We still have two kids in primary and he is not ashamed of letting them go without to get to me, looking for my reaction. Well thanks to your guidance, he isnāt getting one and I will get through this regardless of what he is or isnāt doing. Again thank you, I feel stronger and more at peace than ever before in my life, many blessings to all this wonderful community!
Hi Pauline,
I love that you have defused his ability to get to you.
That is freedom right there, as well as the alignment with your breakthroughs with this.
Please know how welcome you are and thank you for your blessings to all.
You’ve got this, and we are all sending you power and love!
Mel ššš¦
I’m sorry but in Australia, the system is stacked in favour of a female and my Narc knew this. Being an Australian politician, who regularly engaged in the Canberra debauchery and who used absolutely every aresenal in the narccisists handbook (including false accusations to keep my kids from having 50/50 time with me) taught me something about Australia that women should know. Men are scum in Australia, we are third class citizens thst have no rights. The split is default 60/40 in her favour and she will probably get more. The narc female is believed in court, even if you are able to clearly demonstrate thst they have created fraudulent documents and clearly show they are lying in affidavits.
As a woman, you have nothing to worry about financially, the Australian government is extremely adept in giving everything to the woman, even if she is an abusive narccist. As a man, you are absolutely screwed and will be divorce raped worse than any criminal could possibly.
The Australian government wonders why they cannot recruit men into the Armed forces and why boys are dropping our of society, who would want to fight for a country that treats you worse than dirt. The proverbial kick in the head after years of being abused, cheated on, humiliated in public, threatened with your children, had to be quiet while witnessing their crimes of sedition against the country, financially abused and emotionally abused to the point that you find yourself sitting in the train on the way to work to earn money in the hope that your children might get some in between her cocaine habit and the politics.
I couldn’t want to get the hell out of this joke of a male hating country sooner than I can, other than I have kids to take care of and am being abused by proxy through them.
Apologies but this article really sparked me off, you have no idea how bad it turns for men when the courts and the entire legal system is structured to be a female narccists sword.