[breadcrumb]

 

Narcissists don’t partner. They rule. They believe they are superior and even omnipotent.

A narcissist doesn’t see you, or anyone else, as a flesh and blood human being. Rather, they view anyone other than themselves as tools – objects to violate and exploit.

Many people unknowingly get caught up in this, just as we did.

It isn’t until the abuse is significant enough that many people wake up out of the trance and realise that the narcissist is taking dominion over them – at their expense.

How do narcissists position themselves as the superior force in your life? How do they take control over people?

Today … I want to take you on a deep dive into my theory regarding this … today this is more of a 10,000-foot view than how I usually write.

As always, I write about how I am directed and how my inner spirit directs me.

I hope that the following is thought-provoking for you!

 

The Settings Of Narcissistic Dominion

Narcissistic dominion happens in all matters of interpersonal relationships, including intimate partners, families, business places, and at the highest levels of corporations and power structures.

Dominion requires subservience. It needs obedience and compliance to exist. The less autonomous individuals are, the easier a narcissist can assert authority.

Narcissists like to have one or more or many people doing their bidding. This narcissist does not genuinely honour the person or people, their needs and wants don’t matter.

Regardless of how the deal is presented, the truth is that it’s all about the narcissist’s agenda, namely harvesting energy, Life Force and resources from other people, regardless of the cost to them.

Let’s look at the model of life that is NOT narcissistic dominion.

 

Bottom-Up (Grassroots) Power

Let me share this model with you.

It begins with Source / God / Creation. The individual filled and aligned with this Higher Power of their choosing, and then the outflow of communities and congregations enriched by individuals channelling Source through them to benefit All of The Field (everything and everyone) in wholesome, true, life-affirming ways.

Now let’s unpack this and why it’s impervious to narcissistic dominion.

If an individual is filled with Source, then they are fulfilled. Their wisdom, truth and power come from the inside, from their Source/ Soul connection, which we call “True Source”. As a conscious fractal of Source, honouring their Soul, this person becomes genuinely True Self-governing.

The source is their authority – not outer authorities.

As an authentic True Self, you can leave behind feelings of fear and lack. Because of being connected to Source and plenty, being flourished and nourished by aligning with Source and our Soul, you don’t feel empty or needy for love, approval, security, and survival anymore.

This is the beauty of doing the inner recovery work on our inner child and adult traumas and wounds. Especially when this is done with Quantum work on our unconscious (NARP grants this process), the beautiful upgrade of being β€œparented by Source” fills us. Then we want for nothing, yet ironically can create pretty much anything.

Because of being True Self-generative, we are no longer lured by purposely instilled fear, lack, manipulation, temptations, or purported β€œsaviour” promises that narcissistic energy may offer us.

A True Self doesn’t sell their Soul. They don’t live in the identity mirage of having to β€œget” to β€œbe”. Rather, they live in truth, love, and the freedom to inspire and create, knowing that wholesome creation, aligned with Source and Soul, is the most powerful, healthy, and prosperous force.

The more you heal the pain of being separated from Source and your Soul (and the abuse and trauma accompanying this separation), the more astounding the True Life results appear. Your relationship with self, life and others heals and expands to levels you previously did not know were possible. As does your courage to say β€œno” to who and which is not your truth, without fear of consequences.

(After working with NARP Modules, many Thrivers, like myself, have experienced this alchemy and subsequent miracles.)

Now imagine Source-filled people coming together to form tribes.

What do you believe the ethos would be of such tribes?

It would be honesty and integrity. Unity and teamwork. Love and well-being. Thriving because health, inspiration, growth, and creativity are freely shared and encouraged.

The needs of all would be held sacred. Transparency and open discussion and debate would be honoured.

The understanding exists that We Are All One. β€œWhatever I do to you, I do to me. If any part of β€œus” is left out and suffers, then I suffer.”

Unity consciousness prevails – the interconnectedness of life, nature and each other is deeply understood. The elderly are revered. Children are cherished. Everyone is treated with dignity and respect.

This is not the environment where narcissists take a foothold and prosper.

Let’s look at how they invert this model.

 

 

Top-Down Power

This begins with the narcissist (or narcissists) at the top, and then sizeable narcissistic power structures to serve the narcissist are created. These are much larger than tribes.

This authority then filters down to communities that are not consulted or heard. Then individuals are at the bottom, whose voices and needs are subjugated for the narcissist to rein, prosper and have dominion over the many.

Questioning, challenging and any open debate are not allowed. Alternative thinking is not permitted. There is only the narcissist’s narrative.

The foundation of narcissistic dominion is eliminating the source / God / Creator. No True Source allegiance is allowed, and no inner authority. A complete dependency on the narcissist is created. This is purposefully ensnaring and enmeshing to control.

The vulnerable and weak are targeted and damaged.

Individuals without God as their fulfilled energy and Source Soul Self must now look to the narcissist for direction and β€œsalvation”. The individual no longer trusts their Inner Soul, doesn’t listen to or honour it and therefore is β€œseparated’, out in the cold all alone, disconnected from their True Power Source.

Now they are metaphorically like a limping gazelle at the edge of a pack, susceptible to a predator. They can be led, manipulated, coerced, and tempted into serving the narcissist.

How can an individual awaken to know this is happening to them?

By noting that life doesn’t get better. They are becoming sicker, more anxious and confused, and rather than evolving into feeling more whole, confident, empowered, expansive and interconnected to others with love – they become more disjointed, traumatised, and divided than ever.

Addictions reign supreme to numb the pain of not being a whole Source / Soul self, and the individual’s mental, emotional, physical and spiritual health declines. More is sought and chased β€œoutside of oneself” to get peace within.

It doesn’t work.

They keep looking to the narcissist for relief whilst descending into a deeper darkening hole.

Whether on a micro or macro level, this is how narcissists hijack people’s lives and exert dominion over them.

Within a friendship, it happens. You are made to feel insecure and left out if you don’t feed the narcissist’s need for attention, acclaim, and the limelight. A narcissistic spouse or lover drains your Life Force demanding your acquiescence and agreement with their inhumane and unrealistic demands. A family member scapegoats another and mines and abuses. Workplaces with narcissistic bosses exploit their workers without caring for their health and well-being.

Now you can go ahead and expand all of this out to any level you wish.

Narcissists take dominion by disconnecting people from their Source / Soul selves – instilling fear, provoking anxiety, and dangling faux relief from the pain, to create dependency enmeshments.

That’s what trauma bonding to narcissists is.

 

The Cure To Narcissistic Dominion

This truly requires a bottom-up approach. Within every person, then family, community, corporation, nation and then the world … one person at a time

It entails consciously waking up and letting go of the narcissist’s β€œreality” that you need to live in fear, must blindingly agree and obey, and that you are never good enough, not worthy of love, always need to be acquiescing to try to gain peace, love, health or security.

This is the same truth – no matter who or what the narcissistic energy is.

With the narcissist, one minute, you are exalted as being incredible until the subsequent demand that you disagree with. Then you are demonised until you hand over your power again.

It’s a bottomless pit that never ends. False Selves exerting dominion are never satisfied. Enough power is never enough, and they will have their way with you until you are emptied out, and they have got everything there is to get from you – then you are thrown in the gutter.

Replaced without a backward glance to do it all over again.

How do you STOP this happening to you?

Stop going with the narcissist, break away and heal the relationship with Source and your Soul. Then you will come home to the True Source that will cure what you can’t fix and heal with the narcissist.

From that conscious, dedicated healing and development, you will become courageously self-governing, listening to your inner truth, and no longer being manipulated, tempted, trauma bonded and deceived by False Selves.

You connect to Source, have your inner truth with Source as your authority and then experience the limitless providing that the Source grants you – infinite possibilities, synchronicities and miracles that are your True Self Life.

Then you will spread True Self-power through your family, community, and world. You will assist in moving out of parasitical harvesting into truth, health, love, well-being and growth and prosperity for all.

How do we get ourselves out of the shadows?

By shining the Light of Truth on circumstances and having the courage to face and accept them.

I hope that this β€œlarge overview” interests you. This may be something you need to read right now. If so, I really hope this has helped.

Now the real solution: NARP granted me my Source / Soul Self-governing Self; it also woke me out of the trance to see things clearly and set me free. If you are ready for the journey to your True Self, NARP will do this for you too.

I’d love to hear from you and your thoughts on this topic, and also how you can connect or are connecting to your Self-governing and the igniting of your True Source / Soul Self.

 

[mc4wp_form id="7704"]

Related blog post

Shifts Happen – Series 5 – Session 19 – Assimilating The Light

Read More

Thriver Talk With Kristy

Read More

Commments (51) + Leave a comments

51 thoughts on “The Narcissistic Dominion – How They Rule Your Life

  1. We live in a world where narcissism is rewarded, and he who can ruthlessly grab the most toys for himself winsβ€” corporations, governments, whose motto is some variation of β€œMove fast and break things” (and people). Zukerberg’s mantra, I believe. It’s been my experience that some really take this to heart; we have this kind of narcissist in our family and every day I work so that his entitled arrogant unapologetic attitude, his manipulative triangulations, his put-downs and deliberate predations on the vulnerable family members don’t destroy us.

    1. So true about narcissism being rewarded and then these narcissists have the gall to complain that no one even their family members wanted to deal with them; yet, the workers and the family members are stuck with them? The pandemic has really brought out the narcissist in most of the people have had to deal with and it is only going to get worst till society collapses because of it.

      In some workplaces that I have been to, the lowest ranking narcissist workers were able to dominate people in even higher positions because their bosses let them get away with it. The bosses were too lazy, too corrupt, had no courage, were narcissists themselves and use the lower ranking narcissists to divide and conquer the other workers by various means including being an informer for the bosses.

  2. I have recently gone backwards! I was doing really really well. I actually said to my best friends even though I was treated like a piece of rubbish, I miss her! So funny, charismatic, thoughtful and kind. My son actually said to me I see her doing things and I think how much she’s like you ma, so kind and caring, always there for everyone, will do anything just like you. Couldn’t believe it, to be compared to someone who nearly killed me with the mind games and manipulation was devastating. I ask my dear Lord, my higher power for the strength and guidance to get through this. Why do they have this control over us, why when I think I’ve finally got a handle on it, my heart gives way and I have feelings of guilt for walking away. Being told β€œeveryone is different, some people aren’t your cup of tea but I love her and you won’t change my mind about her because I don’t see what you see. Everyone thinks she’s lovely” TBH It breaks my heart. Thankyou Melanie for keeping me grounded and always turning up when I need a reality check ❀️

    1. Hi Val,

      it is crazy how they have wedged trauma in us and infiltrated all common sense with the insane “hooks” that go with narcissistic abuse.

      This is not something that one can usually “just recover” from without deep inner work. Val, my most loving suggestion to you is to check out NARP – http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp

      It is the game-changed which will truly get you there.

      Much Love

      Mel πŸ™πŸ’žπŸ¦‹

  3. Thank you Melanie I have been following you for 4 years and I think I am fine already after 14 years to get him out of my house, your strength has given me that ability

  4. Amazing article Mel. I am one of your Super Thrivers and continue to uplevel through your healings. They are my Goto in all unfolding of my life, This article is getting more to the root of it. You are putting your stake in the ground for all of us to witness, your work has far more reaching healing potential because the world we live it right now leans towards Narcissistic, I believe it is that way because we have not been taught how to remember to harness our true selves, we have bought into the lie that other people or things outside of us determine our worth. Lots and lots and lots of study has been made on this and we have been told
    You have to be a Buddha to attain to Freedom for this but no one told us that all of it, the Universe and more is within us and you don’t need to go anywhere else but look within yourself and you will see the Truth; your work is more than Narcissism, it’s about harnessing the ability to see through the dark that is within us all, to make it normal, to remind us of who we really are without the conditioning, I believe your work is far more effective and far more truthful and authentic than the world has ever seen. But to me why your work is specifically significant and unique is because we have every resource assuring us of who we are and calling us home, but very little, I would go as far to say, zero resource telling us how to go to that dark place safely , walk through it , embrace it and let it go. Because it is the only way home. Most people want that but they don’t know how. Your work makes its attainable. It’s very very scary going to the places within that are hidden and shrouded by terror but your work makes it doable. It’s just energy, it’s not you. Underneath is the Gold. I believe this Sorrowful, broken, pain riddled world needs your work, to make it acceptable, make it OK, and make it normal that we all hold stuff but there is a way to let go of that stuff and the world really can be, it CAN BE beyond all of our wildest dreams . Expand Dear Lady, Expand ❀️❀️❀️

    1. Thank you for your beautiful words Ramona

      I do believe this article is the root of it, and I felt really called to share it.

      What makes me excited and happy beyond measure is sharing with the souls like you who are awakening to the truth.

      So much love to you

      Mel πŸ™πŸ’žπŸ¦‹

    2. You are right about us being not taught how to harness our true selves and it was done deliberately to keep us as slaves in both a mental and physical state.

    3. Hi Ramona,

      Thank you for sharing this. I feel like you have expressed my feelings better than I could have! I am beyond grateful for NARP and cannot imagine what my path Home would have looked like without it. Actually I don’t think I could have mustered up the courage to go within and face my painful parts without NARP to lovingly hold me and guide me through it. I feel enormously blessed to receive this gift from God through Melanie πŸ™

  5. I was a narcissists dream. My father, to boyfriends and then to neighbours who not only hooked me in a very vulnerable time to harassment in work places, listening to my phone and texts through crazy ways of doing this. Break ins etc. getting other’s to do their dirty work by saying they cared about me. Even benign symbols of kindness became threatening. They work as a triad making the bonds stronger, claiming witchcraft and being β€˜organized’. I have experienced terror and mass manipulation. It has taken me sixteen years to KNOW in my soul that they were not helping me.
    This article is true and helpful. It just reinforces the truth and that is what i need most. NARP has been a lifesaver for me. My faith in God was used to manipulate as well…this has been a long sad road without any repercussions to them. I can’t possibly be the only one who has had a grotesque experience with these people. I had the opportunity to hit her with my car as she was crossing the street sixteen years ago. I didn’t do it, yet at this time after being in mental hell, i wish i had. At least i would have either died or gotten the help i needed in prison.

    1. CassAnne,

      You are not alone because I AM here with you and have been though the same darkness you have dealt with. Narcs have NO authentic loving energy on black matter. They are a web of manipulators that have no choice but to leech off of positive people that prefer to listen to the Source instead of their own insane thoughts. The reason most people will side with Narcs is because they themselves have adopted a Narc personality as well. These people no longer no how or have no interest in expressing feelings aloud and instead have become dark within and where masks in public.

      I personally live in a house with 7 people with varying levels of Narc personality from deeply traumatized adults to children that have become so hooked to social media and Iphones that they spend their days watching and hoovering over me trying to anticipate my next move for their entertainment or for their survival. Im an empath so I’m very in tune with the world around me and even as I write this in my room behind closed doors I can hear members of the household closing doors moving around because they unconsciously feel my energy speaking out about them and they feel threated by the True energy I posses from the Source.

      My oldest son even had a conversation with me confessing that he could not understand feelings which was very sad to me but because of the emotionless personality he doesn’t think nothing is wrong and by default he is the victim mostly playing this out in his head and suffering within like everyone else around my home. I know I make them feel uncomfortable because i live in truth and I’m working on leaving all of this behind because I have to do what’s best for myself first.

      I have been put in so many situations that have set me back but I know God did this for a reason. My test is over and I AM moving towards real salvation and away from false selves and I AM sooooo grateful. I

      I sincerely believe that people that the ones doing the Inner work will prevail this year.

  6. This was very affirming for me as I have been talking with a friend and trying to say the same things that you explained so well. Living in truth and love has become my main focus in life. I sent a letter explaining that to my mother a few weeks ago and the only response was, “I got your letter”. Since then crickets. Which has freed me from feeling that I was responsible for her nastiness for some reason. I simply explained where I am on my life path and gave her options to having a relationship with her only daughter or not. It was very cathartic

  7. I have been through 2 narcissistic abusive marriages. One- I lost everything including my 2 beautiful boys that I raised as my own. I was lied to, manipulated, controlled, physically and emotionally beaten to where I had no self-dignity, respect or self-esteem. I was a mere shell of myself. I didn’t even recognize the person in the mirror any longer. I was finally able to get a divorce and get back on track. I was finally free even though I would never see my boys again: I knew I had to walk way and after 13 years of manipulation; I finally walked away and never looked back. This man groomed me @14 years old. He was a sexual predator and he never changed. β€œA snake sheds his skin, but he is still a snake.” He convinced me to leave my beautiful life with a brand new baby girl and start a life with him and his boys after 17 years of being apart. Those 13 years were a living hell. I lived to regret leaving the only wholesome beautiful man that I’ve ever known. My first husband. Thanks to this recovery program I see the mistakes I made. How I attracted and yearned for a narcissist. I was a magnet for deceit and abuse. Instead I left a loving, kind man that was in-front of me the entire time. Now, I recognize what my soul needs to be whole thanks to the NARP healing. But before I found NARP I fell into same trap with my second narcissistic marriage. I have witnessed more abuse and trauma in my lifetime; but I will never give up on a beautiful life. Because now even though, I’m in the midst of criminal and civil courts and have underwent pain and suffering and a β€œscarlet letter” for his sexual deviance; I can still rise UP as my Whole-SELF!!
    β€œSo within So without!”
    I feel Empowered and know that God has a special plan for my life!! I am a good person who deserves love. I deserve a kind and beautiful man in my life. I know through the quantum healing that with time, I will be ready. I’m doing all the inner healing that I can to prepare me for the next journey.
    Thank YOU!

  8. I have followed Melanie for a few years now and even when I gain enough knowledge and strength to step away and use what I have gained from NARP there is always more to be revealed. I find and am beginning to believe that Melanie and NARP is a life long support group for those of us who have been victimized by a narcissistic. Not just something you β€œ get” or obtain and that’s it – and that’s ok ! Iron sharpens iron ! Healing the trauma ( sow within sow without) reconnecting to self ( returning home) it is all true and I have hope because of it . Thank you πŸ™πŸΎ And btw this message article was right on time !!!

  9. Dear Melanie,
    All I can say is that I’m so grateful for all your words of wisdom that have helped me so much! God bless you!

  10. Beautifully said! I thank God for this journey back to my True Self. It is so lovely to blossom and leave the fetters behind. Deep gratitude to you for this empowered writing.

  11. Loved this larger birds-eye view. It made me feel as if I was looking at how our whole human system has been built up, which has become so evident in the past 2 years. The “system” is a narcissistic cult and most of the people don’t even realise they’ve had their inner source taken away from them by societal structures such as religion, education etc. I think those of us that really wake up from narcissistic abuse can start to really see how the powers structures are all the same, through interpersonal relationships to the societal institutions, to how the planet is ruled by the all-powerful.
    Thank you!!
    Linda xx

    1. Whole heartedly agree and I am so grateful I experienced it in the microcosm so I could then recognise it in the macrocosm of our societies and especially this current global ‘plandemic’ situation. xxx

  12. It is a process, waking up from the narcissistic nightmare. It doesn’t help that narcissistic traits are valued so much in all our systems today. I do believe that more people are waking up we gave to look to ourselves first and source within. But the support of others is so damn important for our human part. We still need love and a sense of belonging.

  13. Great article Mel as always. I would really appreciate more content from you about how this whole system and current global situation is playing out like a narcissistic relationship if that is something you felt you could expand on. I also recently had yet another confusing entanglement with another narcissist, this time in the truth movement. A man who was founding community supposedly based on the principals described in your article but I realised needed the energy of community to feed him. Taking advantage of lonely frightened people who are feeling isolated and alone, as quite often the only ones in the their families and groups of friends who can see what is happening… and then scooping them up into his tribe. A charismatic leader and saviour. Kind of ironic as I am seeing it a lot in this movement. Do you have any thoughts on that? It is very confusing, to have many narcissists challenging the narcissistic system! I know just because someone seems ”good,’ spiritual and awake it, they aren’t necessarily, but this man is doing really incredible work and supporting lots of people. So confusing. Good news is I have recognised and removed myself using your Steps to handle toxic relationship dynamics… but feeling really sad and confused. Much love Mel xxxx

    1. Hi Sammy,

      I’m not sure what the truth movement is but some of the most dangerous narcissists in my experience are covert narcissists. They are wolves in sheep’s clothing coming to you seeming very meek, helpful, kind and usually seem to have some sort of victim story as well. I think it’s pretty hard not to get kind of burned by them as we don’t want to go through life suspecting everyone of being a covert narcissist – there are genuine and kind people out there or people who could genuinely use our assistance. With that said, I think there is no shame in recognizing you may have been taken in by a covert narcissist. My advice: stop, heal, learn and move on. Looking back, I know with covert narcissists in my life I always had this strange sensation like my energy was kind of being sucked away from me as they carefully hung on to every word I said. I would walk away from our interactions feeling absolutely drained but brushing off the feeling because the covert narcissist just seemed so “nice”. I’ve learned to not discount my feelings and take the time to examine them. NARP has also helped me tremendously. Will I never get burned by a narcissist again? No probably not, but I think I will be able to recognize their tactics much earlier and minimize the damage they cause. Then I can stop, heal, repair, learn and move on.

      1. Thanks Michelle… yeah, I sussed him pretty quickly and realised he was covert. I suppose what is confusing is that he is speaking out and active in the current truth movement, by that, I mean someone who is recognising that our capitalist system is founded on narcissistic dynamics… So he sees all that and yet he is one himself! But I know this is deep and it is part of the power and control battles that exist in our universe. A narcissist will not want to be controlled by the ‘system’ so it makes sense. Thanks for your message and I am already out of it. I just miss my connection to him as we are so on the same page with our perspective of the bigger picture globally right now but I have to take responsibility for my own survival and security! xx

    2. Hi Sammy,

      my darling … it’s tricky. Censorship and risk of de-platforming are very real. I need to keep afloat (somewhat under the radar) to do my life-work.Trust me, I would love to “let it rip”. When the day comes that censorship is removed, I will be fully visible in this truth.

      Okay re your question.

      This entire up-leveling is about Soul / Source power and sovereignty. That is what we are all going through and have been for 2+ years.

      Honey, YOU are your authority. We ALL are.

      Sweetheart, I know you and I know YOU are a leader. What is the belief that you need a spiritual leader? You don’t! You are a direct connection with your Source / Soul self …

      Remember this – nothing on “the outside” exists (Quantum truth). ‘Rather, my experience that is not wholesome and pleasing is showing me what I need to heal on “the inside”‘.

      My suggestions … SH and R (NARP) targeting the traumas “others know more than me and need to lead me” (Get RID of that!) and Goal Setting Module of NARP “I am directly connected with Source as my authority of the truth of my existence and life” (Clear all trauma until you are a 10/10 …

      Then my darling Sammy you will be free, and you will connect with people who also vibrate at the level of sovereignty (authentic Source / Soul connection) and want to share Source, and not want to suck people dry.

      Does this help beautiful?

      Mel πŸ™πŸ’žπŸ¦‹

      1. Yes Mel, it really helps. I completely innerstand that it is difficult for you re de platforming so I totally get that.

        And yes, I know I don’t need a leader per se.. I guess I am really concerned about the future and recognising that on some level the way we exist in the future will be more based in lived community and living on the land, self sufficient and regenerative, and it has been so confusing as he has been the only person who sees it like that within my own experience and the only one who is taking direct action to create that. I so want to be part of that community and walking away is not just from him but from all that goes with it and it does feel confusing because he talks about all the things which are important to me and that define thriving! setting up community based on shared values etc….and in so many ways, he has been the perfect partner. BUT…..He can’t show up for me on an emotional level and doesn’t have empathy! He wrote to me and said that because I questioned his integrity, (ie: asked him some questions) he has to back himself and walk away from me because he gets his own guidance direct from source and doesn’t need to listen to what my experience is. Anyway, I did the due diligence, asked the difficult questions and asked for what I needed.. and it ended our relationship so it flushed him out. I know he is a deeply covert/spiritual narcissist and it has been the most confusing out of the three narc relationships I have had! I am NARPING away on it and will definitely work on the beliefs to work on with SH and R and GS that you suggested. And now I will set up the life I want to live on my own and see who gravitates towards me! Thanks as always Mel… and I loved the Manifesting the One workshop too. Much love and gratitude… xxxx

        1. Sammy darling,

          I loved you showed up asking the questions and trusted you!

          Yes, sweetheart, we definitely are moving towards more organic, community living.. and it’s a beautiful thing.

          After this powerful and perfect graduation, you just had, your tribe is coming.

          How awesome you were in our Workshop Sammy!

          Love you!

          Mel πŸ™πŸ’žπŸ¦‹

  14. Very interesting Melanie, making the connection with leadership. We have one Boris Johnson as an example! I’d like to see leadership models unpacked to shed light on how the dominant heroic-leading-from-the -front stuff tends to favour narcissists. There are other models after all – I like the facilitative leader – one invested in service as opposed to power, and believeing as you say – ‘I am because we are’.

    Perhaps then we would have a better world in which all could thrive. Meantime, keep healing!

  15. Amazing article Melanie.

    Words literally fail me now. I will write later.

    Thank you for putting this healing work at this macro level where it truly belongs. Everyone needs to re-connect to Source more fully, that we might ALL truly Live.

    Our Source is pure Divine Love – the core, breath, origin, and LIFE of our Be-ings. Narcissistic relationships are what the opposite of pure Love is: Death.

    Oh, my God. Thank you for this article.

  16. This is the best article I have ever read. I identified with it and now I am FREE!! My life is starting again without him. Thank you for helping me.

  17. Melanie, You are a brilliant, shining light of truth and healing. I am eternally grateful to have you in my life and for everything you do for the world. Your contribution is immense and profound.

  18. I am glad that you documented how this pattern of narcissistic abuse can exist through institutions, organizations, etc. I have long identified the American legal system as narcissistic and abusive with relation to how it has always regarded certain demographics. I also see this pattern play out in our political landscape. The way that the family courts and child welfare agencies promulgate fear and an induction of harm model as opposed to reducing harm when they’re supposed to secure the best interest of the child is so counterintuitive. And like narcissists, the behavior and the way these institutions operate makes no sense to anyone but those who work to ensure its practices. It’s like existing in the Twilight Zone.

  19. Thank you Melanie for sharing this substantial article.

    I like to think that love is the flower that grows out of the awareness of connectedness. And that domination harms connectedness and hinders the flower of love to bloom.

  20. Well !!! Melanie ! your masterpiece .You were truly inspired with this insight.Re: narcissism running society everywhere .Look at the consumption of all energies and the consuming greed that narc.leaders of trade ,business ,advertising,manufacturing have encouraged that is raping and destroying this beautiful planet.There is no need for a new phone that does even more stuff .there is no need for highly priced “designer” clothes there is no need to throw things away and not renovate or mend them.They start with children being told they must have the latest expensive toy children being taught by advertising to manipulate each other into feeling left out or inferior if they can’t have the latest craze.Brainwashing is everywhere so that greedy narcs at the top make more and more money and have more and more power .People are convinced they must have holidays at least once a year flying off in polluting planes.We don’t need any of this stuff .This is narcs destroying our planet through manipulating us into feeling unworthy,not good enough,out dated if we don’t consume enough “stuff”.Meanwhile people are sleeping in doorways or going without food.The reason for global warming and pollution and destruction of the planet is NARCISSISM plain and simple.The cause of increase in child sexual abuse ,sexual and every other violence and abuse towards women and girls is NARCISSISM.We are targeted as women and girls because we are capable of creation of giving life to the next generation.This is source work and not to be tolerated by narcs.The innocence of children is being destroyed as a weapon of control by NARCISSISM.Narcissists are basically anti Christs .Your work Melanie is a light shining on to their evil and showing them up for who they are.

  21. Melanie thank you from the bottom of my heart for this post!!!!!
    it was the most amazing read, possibly the most applicable and helpful to me of all your posts so far and exactly what i needed just now after being dumped yet again this week by my narc bf.
    it has helped me so so much to read this and i am going to reread it over and over to truly take it in
    many thank yous to you

  22. Thanks Melanie. Good article. I am in the midst of a smear campaign and the narcissists in my life are still trying to get me to see them as my “source”. I have to laugh about it because narcissists are so manipulative that they even manipulate themselves into believing they are something they are not. I have been doing the work and continuing to just connect with myself and God. And I can say that I do feel more grounded than when I first started my NARP work. I agree, that our society and societal structures do favor narcissism. But what I don’t quite understand is why do the underlings, the flying monkeys go along with it? To me, I feel like a flying monkey is being used too, so why would they not just move in the opposite direction? I have met covert narcissists as well, on the surface they seem nice but when it comes down to it- they also want to exploit others, BUT just in a “nice way”. I literally recoil when I have to deal with these “nice” people who are even at baseline dishonest directly to my face. I hope that everyone who is on a genuine and authentic path learns to honor their truth and in that way these societal structures holding narcissism up will have to come down.

    1. Hi Molly,

      I’m glad you enjoyed the article.

      Flying monkeys are groomed because narcissists are consummate liars – they know how to get people to believe them!

      Also, there are many “righteous” people. carrying tons of unhealed trauma who can be used, quite easily, to direct their anger against someone. They are convinced this is a “great cause”.

      Narcissists know this and work it determinedly…

      Does this make sense?

      Mel πŸ™πŸ’žπŸ¦‹

  23. I found the article spot on. I have been emotionally abused by a friend who is a covert narcissist who appears nice to the world. Its insidious what they do slowly and methodically pecking away until the strong person you were no longer exists. I tried everything to piece myself back together. Thanks for Narp!! It saved my life!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.