Melanie Tonia Evans

The Narcissist Has No Power Over You

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans Permalink 65
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Written By   Melanie Tonia Evans

 

Narcissists can leave you feeling overpowered, helpless and hopeless and wondering if you will ever feel safe and healthy again.

I understand these feelings as this is how I felt at the hands of narcissists too.

When we are in the middle of narcissistic abuse it is easy to hand over all our power to someone we believe is powerful but into today’s episode, I want to share with you why I believe that a Narcissist is NOT powerful and why Quantum truths will set you free.

The irony is that the WAY to do it has been there waiting for us all along, in an accessible place – we just may not have realised it.

 

 

Video Transcript

I know that narcissists seem all-powerful. Many people, myself included, have likened them to Terminators – relentless machines that just do not give up when they seem determined to destroy your life.

Today I’m telling you this is not the truth. There is a way where you can take your power back and know that narcissists do not have power over you.

If you are suffering the horrible, unspeakable trauma of what a narcissist has done or is doing to you, you really need to know what I am about to share with you.

This information literally saved my life. And I know it could save yours from almost certain destruction as well.

So … before we get started I want to remind you that if you haven’t yet subscribed to my channel please do. And if you like this video, please make sure you hit the like button.

Okay, let’s move on into this information.

 

Some Quantum and Energetic Truths

Those of you who are logically based, you may find the following pretty woohoo. Once upon a time I would have too. Yet I will say this – when you have had enough of being defeated and smashed at every turn by a narcissist, you will try radical things to stop it.

This I believe and live with every part of my Being – so within so without.

Which means quite simply and succinctly: ‘If I change my inner emotional experience about something, then the experience must change in my outer experience.’

Why is this the case?

Because Quantum and Neuro Scientists are now proving what spiritualists have known for a very long time. That our consciousness is directly connected to everything and everyone as interconnected wave functions. Therefore, we are no longer a part of a random ‘separated’ Universe – we are Quantum Creators able to change our outer Universe by consciously adopting a new inner Universe.

I don’t know about you – I was always spiritual and very much in the belief of ‘interconnectedness’, however, I was never forced to truly ‘get’ this until narcissistic abuse. The reason I wasn’t was because NEVER in my life had I lived the experience of being attacked so mercilessly and cruelly in ways that were obviously without conscience – and therefore to me were senseless.

Why would anyone want to destroy someone’s life?

Why would someone want to bring another person to their knees with pathological lies and malicious acts and treat them with such contempt?

It defied everything that I believed to be ‘human’.

Like most of us, I tried to combat this is the human way. I was distraught, devastated and incensed and I tried to fight back. I went to authorities and friends, family and associates to tell them what was happening to me.

Yet I was powerless to make any headway with these people – they didn’t believe me. Even when I had proof, they didn’t believe me. I didn’t get any help from them. Instead I was distrusted and blamed by them, and I became further traumatised and abandoned. People thought I was the crazy one and that he was the abused one.

I was missing the biggest piece of the puzzle – so within, so without.

I didn’t realise that narcissists and narcissistic abuse is an energetic phenomenon of epic proportions showing us the utter Quantum Truth of matters – Our inner, unhealed, traumatised state is exactly what the narcissist continues to deliver to us.

Please know in no way am I invalidating what you have been through. Of course, you will be traumatised! I remember being so traumatised that even getting an hour’s straight sleep or eating a few mouthfuls of food was a major accomplishment. My life-force ended up so disturbed and dysregulated from narcissistic abuse that I had a complete psychotic and adrenal breakdown.

I need you to know in no way am I being glib or dismissive about the shocking mind-boggling trauma that narcissists inflict on us.

But rather than bang on about that, my mission and my job is to save your life-force just as I did my own. That is why I am here to help you awaken to the ONLY way we can do this, which is to release and up level beyond the trauma inside and become emotionally calm and clear regardless of what the narcissist is or isn’t doing – and then narcissists can no longer be the experience of trauma in our life.

 

A Quantum Leap

A narcissist’s supposed unstoppable terror campaign can be shocking.

Judy had been divorced for five years from her narcissistic husband. She reported to the police still random suffering break-ins to her apartment (she had moved twelve times in the last five years), her tires being slashed, tracking devices put on her car, her technology, including bank accounts, being hacked, and every time she got a new job being fired unexpectedly because of covert smearing.

She said the narcissist had bombarded her with all sorts of horrific episodes that had left her beyond deranged.

Of course, to outside people it seemed like Judy was making all of this up and that she was suffering paranoid delusions. Many of us have experienced ‘things’ with narcissists that are stranger than fiction. Things that people can’t even fathom as believable.

This was the thing – I knew that it was possible for Judy to be suffering these attacks, and I also knew that if she continued being destroyed on the inside that she would be disintegrated on the outside and would forever remain powerless.

Many people like Judy, sadly, who are at this level of feeling smashed by a narcissist, are not responsive to doing inner work and releasing their highly activated trauma. And I understand why – I’ve been there. The more traumatised we are, the more we are in hyperarousal with our survival brain focused on trying to combat the outer world to try to get change and relief.

Yet, we have no power there – at all. The only power we have is inside, in the unseen world, the Quantum interconnectedness with what a narcissist is doing within the wave function of our visceral and emotional self.

Something in Judy clicked. Maybe when you already feel dead inside, hopeless and helpless, you know there is nothing else to do. I understand this because that was my experience too – I like Judy only turned inwards after exhausting every other option.

Most people who are ‘doers’ struggle with this – and quite understandably!

Judy started her NARP (Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program) healings. She took all focus off what he would do next and worked the healings as if there was nothing else to do – and there wasn’t. She had no job, no friends and family supporting her (they had all turned away); no way to pay her bills and absolutely nothing to look forward to.

She was past the point of caring to try to ‘do’ anything – and so she got down to the job of attending to her Beingness.

Small things continued to happen to her, but she ignored trying to combat them. ‘What’s the point?’ she said. She went inside herself with NARP and released all the trauma that was being triggered within.

A little after a month, Judy couldn’t care less what he tried to do; she fully felt like ‘Life’ had her back and would work out in her favour. She was sleeping, eating and had a new job. She had no terror of losing her job, and she didn’t.

Not long after that, while doing a Quanta Freedom Healing with me, she told me nothing had happened – at all. Everything had stopped. We worked on her fear of it starting up again and she shifted into the inner space of ‘If it does, I’ll just go within and release that traumatised trigger as well – that’s all I have to do!’

That was the day the fear was completely gone. Judy had fully anchored into her Quantum Truth – ‘On every topic in my life I am the Creator if it. My inner experience generates my outer – always.’

She never experienced anything happening to her again.

I have seen over the last ten plus years, in thousands of cases, how this formula irrefutably works – it’s a Law as absolute as gravity. I have seen countless people in custody and property battles, and dealing with stalking, harassment, smearing and other obscene things, all get peace, resolution and an end to the narcissist being able to hurt them, when they go inside and embrace and release the corresponding trauma.

Of course, when we are flooded with trauma there may be things we think are happening that aren’t. Or maybe they are. It didn’t matter whether Judy was suffering all of these previous attacks for real or not. Trauma is trauma and when it is purged from our inner experience, then our real life experience shifts – no matter what the source of the inner experience was.

Belief In The Unseen

I know it can be hard to believe in a force that you can’t see. As I’ve mentioned, I used to be very left-brain focused as well.

However, think about this: How does your subconscious instruct your entire being to process billions of tasks in ways that your left brain can’t even begin to understand, and isn’t even consciously aware of happening?

Trauma experts and neuroscientists now know that the subconscious brain is responsible for 95% of the unfolding of your entire life experience by the time you are 35 years of age. Your subconscious is in your body; it is all going on in your visceral and emotional experiences. This is where your attention, focus and efforts need to be to change your life.

I totally agree with the experts, and this is why my healing system humbly works. It is what the Thriver Movement is all about – getting us into our Beings to get the real healing work done where it needs to be.

True healing is an inner, unseen, somatically felt journey that I created in a practical, step-by-step way. A journey where you don’t have to work any of it out, you just need to follow the instructions and try it for yourself.

If you have had enough of the fear and the pain of what the narcissist in your life is doing to you or the trauma continuing in your inner world, even if he or she is gone from your life, it’s time to release yourself

If you are with me, please write below, ‘It’s time to turn inwards and release myself NOW!’.

To start turning your fear into relief and personal power today, click the link at the top right of this video, to connect with my free inner transformational resources.

And if you want to see more of my videos, please subscribe so that you will be notified as soon as each new one is released. And if you liked this – click like. Also, please share with your communities so that we can help people awaken to these truths.

Please write your comments and questions below, as I love answering them for you!

 

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Melanie Tonia Evans is an international narcissistic abuse recovery expert. She is an author, radio host, and founder of Quanta Freedom Healing and The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program. Melanie's healing and teaching methods have liberated thousands of people from the effects of narcissistic abuse world-wide.

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44 Thoughts on The Narcissist Has No Power Over You
  • joseph.albano@elliman.com'
    Joseph Albano
    May 20, 2019

    please keep sending these videos

  • merjd43@gmail.com'
    Maureen
    May 20, 2019

    Thanks Melanie. This is so true and until I discovered your site about 8 months ago I had to do it all alone and had mostly cleared it all out but there were still hidden traumas waiting to trap me when I wasn’t watching however now just doing the things in your videos I have moved on so far past most things that even when I have to see the Narc a family gatherings there’s now no reaction inside me at all. Whoo Hoo I’ve won!

    For over 40 years he had me trapped, and although I had started working heavily on myself in early 2001 and left in late 2003 I was a pathetic mess for at least 3 years and slowly came to realise he was the reason I wasn’t healing and because I didn’t know why he was the reason, of course it turned out to be my life that he capitalised on and enjoyed torturing me constantly because I had been lovingly stupid and revealed my true self to him, what supply he gained from that and didn’t he enjoy using it.

    Well now even when i see him I have no problems dealing with the situation as with every one of Melanie’s videos I’ve released dirt and trauma I didn’t even know I had and I can feel myself getting emotionally lighter and more carefree, while he stays himself I guess and looks more miserable, too bad so sad get a life and just make sure you leave me alone but if you don’t I’ll just go inside and clean you out once more. Aaaah! Freedom.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      May 20, 2019

      Hi Maureen,

      How wonderful you have reached that level of freedom!

      Continued blessings to you

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

    • flesher.sarah@gmail.com'
      Sarah Paul
      May 31, 2019

      Hi Maureen, going through this myself….. I found myself it’s been incredible …. finding your information Melanie has only enforced what I’m already doing. I can tell you it’s so refreshing and wonderful, I cannot explain how or even why this came about. I think I just woke up one day and decided this is not what I’ve chosen to do with my life and I need to make changes and do exactly what I need to do and that is to follow my path.

      I hadn’t realised how one person could alter one’s life, crush dreams, break promises, be so loving one minute and so gut wrenching and destroying the next. For years I put up with this treatment, thinking if I did this better or that better or cooked this way instead of that way he would be kinder to me. I remember a few times trying to talk to him about what was troubling me and the response I got back was “I don’t care and I don’t need to know”. As an empath I would sit there hours after hour listening to the torture he had experienced for some reason or another. Easter Monday (2019) just gone we had the biggest blow out ever, I didn’t even need to scream I just spoke calmly, and his response back was (can’t write it here)…… then during the week I experienced “anger” should I say “sorry” on day 7 after the blow out (this was of course during the periodic silent treatment) I cried like I had attended a funeral of dear sweet loved one. The next morning I woke up and thought oh geez why do I feel FANTASTIC……. then I realised I had let him go…. yes I had let go of him once and for all. I’m back to enjoying wearing make up – fixing my hair, taking care of what I wear, fending for myself and out teen age son. Humming singing and enjoying my life in general.

      Of course the joy of cleaning yes cleaning, all those keep sake’s I’ve been clinging on to are being thrown away – trashed….. silly stupid trinkets that I thought I needed to keep me happy – thrown out…. cleaning house is amazing, cleansing the body, mind and soul….. get rid of it people, anything that connects you to that beast get rid of it…. give it back, had it to the children if neither want it trash it, it has NO value. Dump it get rid of it and clean your soul, keep NO memento’s get rid of it all. Start fresh, if it’s been stored not touched looked at use – get rid of it, clear the chaos.

      Welcome back to living …..

      • Melanie Tonia Evans
        June 1, 2019

        Hi Sarah,

        That is so wonderful you have have let go, cleaned out and made space for your life force and True Life to enter.

        Thank you for your beautiful share.

        Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • Butterflyjo1711@hotmail.com'
    Jo
    May 20, 2019

    Hi Melanie, all of your blogs speak volumes to me, however, do you have anything specific to people who need to know how to deal with co-parenting with a narsissist? I’m really struggling because he uses the children to control elements of my life. I was hoping you may have information in regards to how I can escape this control he still has in my life despite my leaving him…. thanks! Jo

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      May 20, 2019

      Hi Jo,

      Please know I have created many resources on this topic. If you google my name plus coparenting and parallel parenting, and children – they will come up for you.

      I know they will help.

      Love to you and your children

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

      • Butterflyjo1711@hotmail.com'
        Jo
        May 27, 2019

        Thanks so much Mel! I will check them out 😁😁 Jo

  • johnleroy2928@gmail.com'
    DMJ
    May 20, 2019

    This is a bit off topic for this episode… (you tube pulled up one of your older episodes on Ns and why they are Ns and can they heal). Very interesting about the disowning of their trauma and true self. You said at one point in the video that if they are hit with a strong enough blow emotionally, their ego can temporarily disengage and they can show some humility. This sort of explains the brief windows of real pain that I’ve seen, but they are quickly forgotten and often denied later on. Once the N told me he didn’t think he had a soul… he was looking at the ground, seemed a bit “bummed” about it, but not distraught by any means and quickly changed the subject… and once he admitted that he lies to himself. Whether he is holding onto any shreds of self-awareness or not, he quickly reverts back to denial, and seeking massive supply. I would imagine if an N dove into their true, disowned self that it would be hugely difficult for them to deal with, perhaps incapacitating. I know the point is not to analyze or focus on the N, but from an empathetic human standpoint it’s hard not to wonder about. I do find the “condition” fascinating and sad and hope there is some avenue to wholeness for all people. Since I’ve cut off supply, the N has vanished and I’m feeling more energetic every day.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      May 20, 2019

      Hi DMJ,

      What you have written is all very true.

      I don’t believe anyone, n’s included miss out on ‘salvation’.

      Have you ever read this article of mine

      https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/the-soul-contract-with-a-narcissist/

      It explains this all in greater detail.

      Love and blessings to you

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

      • johnleroy2928@gmail.com'
        DMJ
        May 21, 2019

        Thank you. That article is very interesting. So it’s possible we were “abusers” in past lives? I often wondered if we have the same personality in all lives. It seems impossible to me that I could have abused people, but I remember from childhood having some weird memories (of things that did not happen in this life) that seem completely counter to who I am here and now.
        I wonder about the souls of people who have done truly horrific things in their lives… like Ted Bundy. They seem consumed by anger and a desire to control other people. It’s hard to know if someone you are dealing with is “beyond hope” or still dancing back and forth between their narcissistic behavior and self awareness. I think my initial attraction to the N was not so much his beauty or flattery or attention, but his sadness. I know that sounds strange, but I was sad at the time and (to me) his sadness was palpable. Maybe there is hope for him, but I do think (with anyone narcissistic) that if there IS hope it will only present itself through struggle and NOT through us helping them. The helping them just feeds the “supply” and no awakening can occur. Their facade has to prove (to them) to stop “working” for them to wake up. It’s not in our hands.

        • Melanie Tonia Evans
          May 21, 2019

          Hi DMJ,

          That is quite a controversial topic, but let me say that I have found and released my own and many peoples traumas regarding ‘what we did’ in previous experiences.

          And it stands to reason. Look at the brutality of history and the human experience. What did become necessary out is survival, or knee jerk reactions as a result of significant traumatisation?

          You are 100 percent correct that ‘helping’ people does not help them – it enables them to stay unconscious and keep abusing.

          This is why if we honour self in healthy ways we honour the entire field and others in wholesome ways.

          Addicts and abusers, and really anyone, who can reform do so because life can no longer go on as normal with the way they are being.

          If we say ‘no longer partaking’ we offer an opportunity for self reflection, healing and change.

          So so true – it’s their choice and it’s in their hands.

          Mel 🙏💕❤️

        • Thesmugglechest@gmail.com'
          Susan
          May 21, 2019

          So I am thinking that even though I am going through hell right now. Because he won’t go away. And that is because, he has always lived off of someone else. And he can’t save money to be able to rent a place, if he could even get one. ( He gambles. But don’t you dare say that to him. His father and brother gamble, Not Him.) Everything I have watched is everything that I am going through. Every last drop of it. And I have gone through all of the stages. From wondering, to wanting to pull my hair out, to wanting to disappear, to knowing the truth, to now what do I do? This place that I live in and he tortures in. Should be mine. Because he spends not a dime on it and spends all of our money. And the place is worse than it was when we got it. But you can’t have a real conversation with him about, anything.
          I digress. It’s not hard to get off into the madness of it all. Anyway. I know that this experience with this psychosis is a part of my understanding of myself. And that without it, would I have come to some of these understandings? Understandings I am still afraid to implement for fear of retaliation. But I know they are there. And I know that it is going to take a lot, to undo what my mother did. I was married to my late husband for 28 year. And then my second husband, is one of them. A NARC. (that’s the anger in me. I really wish we could release them from this life of crime.) I would love to be who I started out to be when I was a little girl. I wanted everything to be good for everyone. And knew it. I felt it inside of me. I can still feel how it felt. But it gets wiped away with all of the garbage in my head from my mother and him and every day life. And one huge part of my life that is my fault. I do, not, have a routine. Every time I do. Someone needs me to change it. I guess that’s not really true anymore. My three children have grown stronger. As I new they would despite my short comings. Their father was a strong quiet type. Kind to all. That’s how the second one, played me. I think all em-paths should take heart in the fact that the NARc mirrors them. It let me know that I love, the way I love. One of my understandings. They do help straighten us out about ourselves in a good way. They are just one more evolution on our chain. Be it one from, if there were such a place. Hell.
          So what I started to say, is that I would hate it if I were strapped with what seams like a curse. And that because we have the happenstance to learn about, ourselves. So what is their life lessen, if any of them are capable of seeing it. It only seems fair. Non of this is pity for the crime. I use to think I was strapped with the understanding that I am going around in circles. Lost. Now I know what I think. I know what I won’t stand for. And just like when I was 8 years old and my mother would not stop beating me for something I did not do, and was not going to say I did. I know what I will take responsibility for. When it is a NArc. It’s not your fault. I did not cause it all to fall apart. Water under the bridge I know. He loves doing this to me. But like I have always thought about my mother. She chose to be evil to her children. But she was cursed too.
          If I could hand him $2,500.00 he said he would go away. That would be his half of this trailer. I think we should create a go fund me organization to help people out of these situations. That only victims know about. It’s not one of those things we tell the world and then gets taken over by power and greed. Word of mouth. I would love to be able to help people out of these situations. I believe that most of us are not the ones that should be loosing anything else. We have all lost most of the money and valuables. Be it vehicles, bank accounts or who you were. We should not have to leave our homes.
          Thank you Susan AOK

  • mcdonaldlisa@hotmail.co.uk'
    L x
    May 20, 2019

    You are a lifeline. I’m getting it… so within, so without. I’m a co-creator. I’m taking better care of me, from now on! 💖

  • thekraus@hotmail.com'
    Sara
    May 20, 2019

    Melanie,

    This video came to me at the perfect time. I’ve been trying to prove too long. I have, however, improved so much because I’m constantly being challenged. I just completed a Power Dynamics Mastery course under another Thriver, and I’m committed to passing it along to help others. I am a scientist, and your quantum discussion sum up the plot of a book I’ve been writing for over 20 years. Quantum mechanical tunneling occurs when there are so many reactants trapped on the reactant side that they, instead of waves, act like particles and tunnel through the wave to get to the other side. You help so many tunnel through the barriers, when we just don’t have the energy to crest the wave.

    Thank you,

    Sara

    • aum.shrim.brzee.namaha@gmail.com'
      aum
      May 20, 2019

      Sara i’m interested in your book! 🙂 …any idea when you’ll publish it & weekday the title is / will be?

  • tlorch@glendale.edu'
    Theresa
    May 20, 2019

    I experience his poison in my home of 40 years and wish to be freed of it.

  • flowertherapy@icloud.com'
    Val
    May 20, 2019

    On the interconnection of all things…well ..how could it be otherwise..? I read this today in “ The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle: “ Are you polluting the world or cleaning up the mess? You are responsible for your inner space; no one else is, just as you are responsible for the planet. As within, so without: If humans clear inner pollution , then they will also cease to create outer pollution “ . ( p79) .🌺❤️

  • lorispoon4a@gmail.com'
    LuLu Smith
    May 20, 2019

    Divorced from narcissist for around 7 years. I will be going to my daughter graduation from college and a party after. The EX will be there and my daughter told me I at least needed to say Hi to him. I see no reason for giving him any acknowledgment since he has never apologized and says he did not love me or anyone. 22 yrs married. He has had 4 marriages since. My question is should I bring someone as a backup with me or just ignore him.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      May 21, 2019

      Hi LuLu,

      Really there is no right or wrong answer to this – it’s about you being comfortable and looking after your feelings.
      And when you are at peace with your choice and simply execute it calmly and succinctly without needing anyone’s validation – such as friends or your daughters, and don’t give the event your energy, then all will be well, and you daughter will be fine also.

      I hope this has helped guide you.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • seraphim121@hotmail.com'
    Brenda
    May 21, 2019

    Thanks Melanie, this is so true! After being in a long term marriage to an overt, and now a covert family member, I can say, when you are in the middle of the abuse, it’s really difficult to breathe and ground yourself. However, when you can stop, breathe and look inward, you can do this, and it works! It’s like wearing armour, where no matter what the narcissist throws at you, it no longer has any power or affect on you! The narcissist does whatever they do, and you are now immune! It’s very freeing, and allows you to feel that life is now in balance, and you are in sync with it!

    • aileeno39grady@ymail.com'
      Alina
      May 21, 2019

      I really think part of my attraction to the n was that as a massively sensitive empathetic person I could feel that he didn’t hurt or get upset about the things I did.. As an empath who is derailed every day by all the negativity in the media and news and world in general I felt almost like I wish I could not feel in the way that he could not feel. Its like I feel way too deeply and he doesn’t feel at all like we are two opposites and that somehow pulls us together. Like if we were watching the news and there was a natural disaster with lots of people dead etc I would be moved to tears and despairing of what we have done to the planet climate change etc.. And he would shrug and say that’s nature do you think there’s an attraction based on us feeling too much and them feeling too little???

      • Melanie Tonia Evans
        May 21, 2019

        Hi Alina,

        In the Quantum Law of so within so without I truly don’t believe opposites attract.

        I believe we are attracted to people who represent our already existing wounds.

        When we are an empath we carry the pain of lack of care, compassion and the numerous human atrocities that are sadly a part of our world – they disturb us.

        Narcissists are people who deliver more of that lack of empathy, compassion, care and exploitation to us.

        When we heal ourselves from these significant traumas from the inside out, then we are no longer attracted to ‘more of the same’ the people who keep delivering the evidence of these inner wounds.

        I hope this help explains.

        Mel 🙏💕❤️

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      May 21, 2019

      Hi Brenda,

      You are very welcome!

      How wonderful that you have self partnered and taken your power back.

      Continued blessings to you

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • jraltizer@gmail.com'
    Julia
    May 21, 2019

    More truthful words have never been spoken!

    Don’t even let the Narcissist take up your mental space!

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      May 21, 2019

      It is such a happy day Julia when they no longer exist in our consciousness!

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • nicopopliceanu@yahoo.com'
    Nicoleta
    May 21, 2019

    Thank you, Mel!
    I love reading your scripts!

  • fisherlindsey4@gmail.com'
    Lindsey
    May 21, 2019

    Your Emails have helped me through the last 2 years of my life.I can’t Thank you enough.Thank you

  • inpellerano@yahoo.com'
    Iris
    May 21, 2019

    THANK YOU for all the depth of understanding and for this community!!

    I am returning quickly to my delight and joy of living only seven months after ‘breaking up’… I have a fantastic life and I woke up happy every single day. Now, even with more depth – that I realize this beautiful man was given to me to expand my awareness of my being! I laugh. I know NOBODY can stop me from loving freely. NO way will I stop being loving, trusting, caring and kind. I will not be disassembled! I refuse to be put to death by the insinuations that I am not worthy or important. He must be delusional. The celebration consists of being victorious over the childish, illusory ‘reality’ he presented. Really it is like watching a cartoon. You have to laugh at the sheer immaturity of this suggested script. I decline the role offered to me to be a martyr. I love and I can not be told I am worthless – there’s no way I could be gaslighted that way. It is too late. I already knew holiness and freedom from all condemnation – for all mankind. His entire belief system was off the mark of sustainable life which is powered by lovingkindness without which all reality ceases to be. I love all mankind and I trust the unfolding of Universal Love to triumph over all death. NDE’s all tell us that the fabric of reality is LOVE.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      May 22, 2019

      Hi Iris,

      It is so true that there is only ‘love’ and when we reject, refuse to take on and no longer participate with what isn’t, after asking for and being our truth … then we be-come the living embodiment and experience of it.

      We can also love people enough to let go and allow them to be their chosen version of life.

      I love your belief.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • ssullivan27.ss3@gmail.com'
    Samantha Sullivan
    May 22, 2019

    I release my trauma & negitive experiences ! I start back to work after a year of heading after my marriage of 12 years ended with a emergency Pfa last April with 3 children and extreme adrenal fatique unable to work. I’m finally to a place where I see my inner worth and the peace Within Myself is stronger than the chaos my ex causes at any moment 💪🙏👑

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      May 22, 2019

      This is so wonderful Samantha.

      Big kudos and continued blessings to you.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • jac.lea@westnet.com.au'
    Lucy
    May 24, 2019

    Those are interesting comments on past life trauma with BMJ above. The narcissist was barely relevant to what happened to me recently. I had very minimal contact with her and her abuse tactics were therefore mainly by proxy. So the theme was one of betrayal – returning home to the community I loved and trusted and being badly betrayed by people I didn’t expect to. I don’t have much trouble finding and releasing childhood trauma, but I just could not get to grips with my anger at these proxy abusers – it would jerk me awake night after night. I became so worn down, I actually asked God to help me out here (something unusual for me) and lo, I dreamt about hatred, a genuine all-pervasive hatred so so deep it was near-inaccessible to me. And then, kind of miraculously, my anger lifted – as though just acknowledging the hatred was enough to shift the anger.

    And what I wonder is: Is it wise to pursue such feelings (which I might not be able to “feel” again, anyway)? Do we need to? I’m aware of my capacity for hatred now. I don’t know where it came from. I don’t really want to. (It seemed so so far back, who knows what lies back there.)
    On the other hand, some of the proxy abusers want to flit back into my orbit now (without acknowledging their error) and I fear I am not going to find it easy to forgive.

  • cross_tanya@hotmail.com'
    Chipmunk
    June 26, 2019

    ‘It’s time to turn inwards and release myself NOW!

  • Jo.rubin23@gmail.com'
    SkinNurse
    July 3, 2019

    Are narcissist always abusive or can a man still be a narcissist without laying a hand on someone?

  • dragulavon@gmail.com'
    yvonne gurski
    July 25, 2019

    I have successfully kicked Mr. crazy out of my house, however he is a hoarder & all his “belongings” are in my garage downstairs. He has ALOT of stuff. Also in the backyard. He seems to think he can come & go as he pleases, thru my gate to the garage. I have tried locking the gate, he finds another way to get in. I tried locking the garage door, he tore apart my locks. I don’t care if he gets his things, but on an agreed time schedule. He lives by no schedules. He says he has nowhere to put his stuff. He is semi homeless. Which he uses as another guilt factor against me, amongst many more. I am never right, he says. He says “I love you, we belong together”, I tell him I don’t love him he needs to get his stuff and go. He tells me I’m wrong, that I still love him, and he doesn’t know why I’m acting this way. Its total insanity. I’m glad I found your information. I just discovered that he has is a narcissist a couple of months ago. And we were together 10 years, on & off. I need help trying to formulate a plan to get rid of him. The police are no help, I filed a VPO against him, he went to jail for a 3rd time VPO violation for almost a year, but when he got out, he was so sincere & made me so many promises, I feel for it again. And broke my VPO. And feel totally stupid. But I am done, finished, to much water under that bridge, I despise him. I just need some guidance. Thank you for letting me vent!

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