Melanie Tonia Evans

How I Healed From Adrenal Malfunction After Being Told It Was Incurable

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans Permalink 4
53
Written By   Melanie Tonia Evans

 

Adrenal malfunction is serious and it is a chronic problem for so many people in this Community.

It’s the common by-product of the horrific impact of narcissistic abuse – when our stress hormones go into overdrive trying to cope with the crazy-making, the unsafe twists, turns and stunts that narcissists do, as well as the malicious, unthinkable trauma they bring into our lives and to the people who we love.

When our adrenals no longer function as they should, our ability to switch of fight or flee is severely compromised and the symptoms are debilitating to say the least.

They include such things as hair loss, appetite problems, sleeping disorders, premature aging, the risk of heart attack or stroke, and many other dis-eases due to a stressed immune system – including cancer.

There is also a very real danger of alterations in the brains memory centers and the way it processes information – we are triggered into anxiety and feelings of being unsafe and helpless regularly and without warning.

In short adrenal malfunction can feel unliveable.

Many people believe adrenal malfunction and Complicated Post Traumatic Disorder, are conditions that we will have for life – and will need medication and / or copious amount of supplements and healthy lifestyle choices to manage.

However … in this Thriver TV story I share with you my journey with adrenal malfunction which was deemed incurable, how I healed it completely, and the definitive reasons why myself and thousands of others in this Community now not only live free from this terrible plight …

… but also enjoy the most confident, extended and radiant version of ourselves that we can imagine.

I remember once thinking How on earth can I survive this … the horror of my hair falling out in clumps, as well as shaking, sweating and becoming a literal skeleton … because I was so thin.

My heart goes out to you if you are also suffering, and I want you to know “that” is not how I was supposed to end up, and it is not how you are either … because there is a true solution to heal from this.

One that the contemporary channels are not using and are not telling you about.

Please share below and ask me any questions that I can help you with.

 

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Melanie Tonia Evans is an international narcissistic abuse recovery expert. She is an author, radio host, and founder of Quanta Freedom Healing and The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program. Melanie's healing and teaching methods have liberated thousands of people from the effects of narcissistic abuse world-wide.

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53 Thoughts on How I Healed From Adrenal Malfunction After Being Told It Was Incurable
  • Karynchoate@gmail.com'
    Karyn Choate
    July 14, 2017

    It’s taken me two years of taking very good care of myself to being on the road to recovery. At one point when I was in the midst of that relationship I weighed about 83 pounds. I was a nervous wreck and was disconnected from everything except trying to function in that relationship. People who knew me were extremely concerned about me, and I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror because I didn’t even look like myself anymore.
    It has taken some time, but I knew how important it was from Melanie’s advice that self care was only going to speed up the recovery process and help me to feel better. Now I eat a very healthy diet, exercise regularly and I live in a very quiet, calm and peaceful environment. I have been very focussed on healing, and on education, spirituality and having a successful business.
    It’s so important to give yourself love during this time. One of the biggest lessons I have learned is how I have to love myself. When I am thriving I have so much to give and to share with everyone around me. One of my favorite things I treat myself to is fresh flowers. Having that little bouquet in my room just makes me feel so wealthy. Another one of my favorite indulgences is luxurious baths with salts and candles. Whatever is going to bring calm and happiness into your life should be a regular practice.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 14, 2017

      Hi Karyn,

      my heart goes out to you – for the struggle that you went to, but how awesome that turning inwards to truly love you took place as a result.

      Bless you Karyn.

      Mel xo

      • Karynchoate@gmail.com'
        Karyn Choate
        July 15, 2017

        Mel, I am so thankful that I found you! Thanks to you I realized what was happening. In the beginning I was in denial thinking this person couldn’t possibly be coming from such a place, but after listening to what you were saying about how events occur in the “playbook” one thing after the next rang true of course. You have been such a blessing in my life and I’ll be forever grateful. I’m still healing and working things out, but it’s all MY inner stuff and I know that working it all out will make this entire ordeal worth it to become the person I was truly meant to be. Of course working the NARP modules is key and essential in this process.
        You are truly an angel and a guiding light for so many people Mel!
        Much Love To You!! XOXO

        • Kbarre1@icloud.com'
          kristine
          July 19, 2017

          I am forever grateful for your FREE videos. In the beginning of my separation from my qualifier I held on to every word you said and then put it into action.

          I am currently 5 months away from that marriage- I still need to legally divorce him but he is making that part difficult – I was wondering if you have any experts on how to handle this very real and final cut off from this toxic man and his entire family honestly – I love your work – I’m thriving and you have been a huge pillar in my recovery –

      • Me2usmile@yahoo.com'
        Jen
        September 27, 2017

        Hello Melanie, so how do you pull up and release? Sincerely, Jen

  • sgulzinski@yahoo.com'
    Sara Gulzinski
    July 14, 2017

    Hi Melanie,
    I just joined the NARP program about 2 weeks ago. Listening and reading your emails have helped me tremendously! My romantic relationship lasted only a year and a half with the narcissist, but it left me completely shattered. We have been separated for 6 months, and thankfully up until a week ago, do not work in the same building anymore, thankfully. My main problem now is adrenal fatigue. I wake up most days with a fatigue so strong, I feel almost as if I’ve been drugged. Most days this feeling continues all day making basic routines impossible, as I’m sure you know. I experience multiple symptoms of adrenal fatigue, but this one just knocks me on me butt. My question is regarding these feelings and doing the modules. I am struggling with being able to focus and really feel into the healing. If I find myself not completely present during a healing, should I still continue and finish that healing? Also, while doing a healing my mind keeps going back to the abandonment I felt as a child even though I know there are so many other traumas swirling around in me. So should I just keep doing module 1 focusing on the abandonment until it is with me no more? Thank you so much, Melanie! I don’t know what would of become of me without your words, and the work you do. It’s truly healing in itself ?????

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 14, 2017

      Hi Sara,

      Okay first of all it can be really helpful for you to connect into the NARP Forum – http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/member , because there you can receive the most incredible coaching 24/7!

      Just to quickly answer – if you are not getting “information details” then keep body open and breathing in your shifts and just be with the dense energy in your body and you will get shifts anyhow …

      Yes, correct …if you get a charge on the trauma, such as you are mentioning of abandonment as a child – that is your body telling you “go to that shift now” … drop the other things you are working on and go to the trauma that is demanding the most attention, until cleaned up/

      Releasing and uplevelling from our traumas is like untangling a ball of wool, and if we listen and pay attention to what trauma is crying out the loudest – that is always the next knot to untie!

      Our body wisdom is impeccable, when we go with it.

      I am so pleased I could help – and keep going Sara, you’ve got this!

      Mel xo

      • cori.nichols@yahoo.com'
        Cori Nichols
        July 15, 2017

        I don’t even have time to do the work. Im pulled in so many directions and if I say no, I’m guiled into feeling it’s my fault. How do i tell people no and not feel bAd or guilted into it.

        • Melanie Tonia Evans
          July 17, 2017

          Hi Cori,

          we stop doing stuff a certain way when we have changed our being about it.

          That is what the inner work is.

          It all gets back to the same necessity. If we don’t dedicate to ourselves, who can we ever think others and life can?

          Mel xo

  • leet007@bigpond.com'
    LT
    July 14, 2017

    Hi Melanie,
    I have been part of the community for some time and completed the NARP and self development programs which were great. During this time I have also been seeing a naturopath who advised I am suffering from adrenal fatigue and has provided products accordingly. But you’re right this alone does not heal as I am still feeling stressed. And then I had a recent situation where someone from my past came back into my life and my stress has got worse. I thought I had done a lot of work but need to do more. Is there one of the healings from the aforementioned programs you would recommend I repeat or should I repeat the whole programs again? Kind regards L

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 14, 2017

      Hi LT,

      you are right management alone often doesn’t heal the core trauma.

      LT, without knowing more details about what is going on for you with your QFH shifts (within NARP) I don’t really know what to specifically prescribe.

      What is true – is that if we are not healed as yet – the core trauma still remains, and can be found and released and replaced. The most powerful way I know to do that is with the NARP Program.

      My greatest suggestion for you is to be in the NARP Member’s Forum where free coaching and incredible support takes place.

      http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/member

      I hope this helps.

      Mel xo

  • penny.white@outlook.com'
    Penny
    July 14, 2017

    Hi Melanie,

    Just a question on adrenal fatigue and PTSD. I have come out of narcissistic abuse but only have been able to manage my symptoms and had am now stumbling across the philosophy of subconscious body healing methods. Throughout my childhood I was a target for bullying and had a narcissistic abuse in the home from mentally ill family members and I am starting to connect the dots. In regards to flashbacks from childhood and hearing the abuse from family members in my mind – is this a program where I need to meet my inner child? I had a really bad peptide addiction to my narcissistic experience and want to know if these flashback memories of hearing abuse from family members have any kind of connection and does your program allow for healing these so that things like triggers, flashbacks and hearing old abuse in our minds from bullying heals? In relation to adrenal fatigue I have pretty much had this my whole life and have managed exactly the way you explained in your video.

    Thanks
    Penny

  • nigelgear62@gmail.com'
    Nigel Gearing
    July 14, 2017

    Hi Melanie:

    Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your work – based on your experience. I have not gone onto the NARP community (yet) (I bought the gold package) as I am so very focussed on doing what you say – turn inward and do the work. I hear and agree with everything you say (some of which is a bit confrontational, but that is ok, better to deal with it). I have a couple of questions if that is OK – I don’t seem to follow a clear path of doing a healing per time on module one (fast version) – i.e. from 10 to 1 or even keeping focussed on one healing ‘journey’. It seems to all have a theme, but is very jumbled. I don’t seem to get the clear message you speak of in this episode of thriver TV. – although a strong sense of being treated like a ‘piece of crap’ in almost every relationship (not intimate, I am in a great intimate relationship). I know something was wrong in my dysfunctional family, I feel that, I know that my mother was intensely angry and my father was gay (but of course could never admit that even to himself). I did therapy for seven years, so (like you) have a lot of insight – but not the healing by going to source, which is what I work on every day (I do module one once). And I can see an outward result already, after a month – a feeling of much more ’emotional space’ and not ‘that it will all be taken away from me’, or I’ll be kicked in the guts when I’m down (I think this happened very young by my mother) – in daily life my interactions are already much more devoid of ‘my mother’. So, a question: Do I just stay on module one until I ‘know’, until I get the message and clear it, and can that take some time?
    I’m sorry if this is a bit jumbled, but I would imagine you understand where I am coming from. Do I just trust the process, which will reveal itself as I surrender into it more and trust it (trust has always been my biggest single issue), so I have to assume this was betrayed very early and I believe by a damaged mother (now passed) and an infected family (I have blocked them from contact in law).
    Any feedback from you would be helpful. Take care and thank you for all your work – you have no idea how much of a ‘coming home’ this feels like.
    Nigel

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 14, 2017

      Hi Nigel,

      absolutely I’m okay with questions and what is great is your questions helps others as well.

      Hmmmm, this is little jumbled Nigel and I am trying to feel through it trusting my gut on it.

      Ok to cut straight through – I would love you to do a Module 1 on “Trusting” … ask for you body to show the trauma regarding not trusting – somewhere in your body will light up – go to it, load it up use the QFH process in Module 1 and shift out.

      Until you don’t feel any trauma on that.

      Then I would work on “over-thinking” (boy was that big for me too!) and do the same process. Then when continuing your NARP work, I know you will experience a massive difference.

      Also please join the Forum – where the real NARP coaching goes on (it’s an invaluable healing resource and its free) – there is only so much I and other experienced Thrivers can do for you on the Blog.

      http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/member

      I hope this helps.

      Mel xo

  • Tracey_clare@hotmail.com'
    TC
    July 14, 2017

    Hi
    I had spent 11 years with an extremely successful powerful narcissist.. until a year ago… 6 years into relationship I lost my father who had controlled my whole thought process and character … which I hadn’t appreciated to what extent until I was dealing with his illness of 4 years and impending death… the loss I felt was numbing… I literally felt I had no identity .. I was a strong determined successful person constantly driven to prove my worth and value … always feeling angry but was so programmed to push thru and raising the bar on myself that this was the norm ..my mask !! . until he passed ….in his final years he became softer and more responsive and engaging .. I know it was because he was weaker but I needed that looking back .. and it all went in my pot of healing somehow !!! My narc abandoned me after my fathers death and I did have a breakdown … looking back today I see I was unravelling .but didn’t understand what was happening …unhealed traumas surged and I was left a total wreck… I detached from my family for 12 months accept one sibling who allowed me to breathe, be myself , grieve, ask questions, get angry or cry … totally non judgemental and was always easy to be around and made me laugh… he allowed me to be a kid !!! I was 44… again without knowing this was exactly what I needed … however I had let the narc back into my life during this period as I wasn’t aware of narcissistic disordered people … my sole focus and resentment had been my up bringing … of course I didn’t see the connection of attracting this character as his behaviour was all too familiar … the next five 5 years of relationship was a slow burning process of me still unravelling and seeing the narc thru different eyes … unfortunately still freezing and tolerating him but something was going on as I felt more and more detached and kept saying to myself … I like me!, regardless of what he was trying to achieve .. infact he commented once that I wasn’t fun or passionate anymore … i was not allowing myself to absorb him …. by no means was I healed but I was getting somewhere… the relationship with my family became honest and stronger.. I spoke up I was heard I was being loved for just being me … !! again flagging the shortfalls in my relationship with the narc … I lost everything with him my home of 25 years.. my career as he consumed my life .. the abuse was relentless mentally and physically… the word drama doesn’t cover his money masked the poison … at the end of relationship I was googling self esteem problems …. I just knew this relationship was weird and different and was looking for answers still looking at me …logic was kicking in full blast ..I craved answers … I ran from the relationship with just the clothes I wearing .. i was mentally exhausted … not to the level of a breakdown as before .. as I had found narcissistic information on your site, and there was the tools provided to piece this jigsaw mess together … the weight that began to lift was immeasurable… I was sane .. But i was out of my depth .. I had experienced and lived the thriller of the Century … and now I stood a chance… whatever that meant at the time, and I believe I had saved my life .. the physically fallout was alarming … bleeding from bowels .. abyss outbreaks .. one needing surgery in hospital along with constant eye infections , colds and body pain .. . my body was releasing from trauma … it poured out of me … a year later … I no longer have IBS … not needed the spinal injections for bad back .. skin has healed … a miracle !!! No not a miracle .. just removing myself from narcissistic abuse … I can continue to heal, love myself and grow … here’s to the rest of my life … without you’re Website and shared knowledge that you passionately want to get across, and install in us, I would still be in the dark, going round in circles ….. thank you for you’re wisdom … I’ve certainly grown from it ..

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 16, 2017

      Dear TC,

      wow what an incredible journey you have been on, and it’s so wonderful that you are now coming home to you.

      I wish you all the joy, blessings and healing possible TC, it is your time 🙂

      Your courage is a true inspiration – for yourself and others.

      Mel xo

  • anki_linnerheim@hotmail.com'
    Anki
    July 14, 2017

    Hi Melanie and everyone! ❤

    As so many times before, the topic I need the most comes up…
    I am having a very stressful time right now with a massive trigger last week that has affected me SO big that I am kind of “stuck” in a week-long panic attac!
    When I read this: ” When our adrenals no longer function as they should, our ability to switch of fight or flee is severely compromised and the symptoms are debilitating to say the least…” I cried of relief!
    Because that is exactly how it feels!! That my system has not been able to switch off since the trigger one week ago!

    I have been working so hard with myself for 6 months and have had incredible shifts and am totally free of all charges regarding the (3!) Narcs.
    But last week my son 21 (who has autism/Aspergers) got an earinfection and because of the feeling in his ear with not hearing and having to take drops that made it feel worse – he got into the biggest panick attac I have seen him have. He is VERY afraid of bodysymtoms and the feeling that “this is FOR EVER and is not going away”!
    I managed to calm him after a couple of hours and he needs me to sleep in his room some hours every night since that attack because he is now SO afraid of every symtom and feeling of the panic coming back.
    Now, since his major panic attack I have been stuck in total panic myself. I try not to show it and I have been moduling it (the feelings of that I am feeling my sons panic as my own, that I have his feelings/body, that I am terrified beyond explanation of losing him, of not being able to help him and mend and fix him, that I am the only one in the world that he has and if I can not help him he will die)

    Please, please I need help to believe and trust that I am not going crazy and that I won’t stay in this state of paralized terror and panic that gets triggered everytime he calls for me or I see the anxiety in his eyes!!
    I feel like I need to go to the feeling of not trusting him to be able to take care of him self, to be happy and have a life that he feel is worth living?
    I even think that I HAVE TO imagine my life WITHOUT him and that is beyond terrifying.
    The fear of losing my son (to mental ilness or death) is the cause of the tremendous terror I feel.
    But help me, am I on the right track?
    Is this adrenal malfunction?
    And CAN I come back to me again and get out of this stuck panic??

    Thank you!! ❤❤❤
    ​​​​​​

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 16, 2017

      Hi Anki,

      sweetheart you have been doing such an incredible job – and please know at times in our healing journey we are up levelling, up levelling and then BANG – along comes something huge that flattens us.

      And it is always on a topic (such as your son) that will feel like one of our deepest vulnerabilities.

      The truth is Anki – this has now arrived because we are ready to up-level this too. And this is the meeting point of the choices … because it is a big trauma … 1) do we let our mind take us out with the trauma (and that is totally understandable that we will start obsessing because we are heavily triggered) or 2) do we just surrender into more NARP Shifts, knowing this is truly the same as every trauma we have already shifted …. meaning – meet it in our bodies, load it up release it out and replace it with Source (heal it)?

      Hun, I have full faith in you that you have got this – and I hold the space with you and for you to do this.

      You have named the terrors, which now need to be shifted, and then Dear Lady you are going to go up to the next incredible level.

      So much love

      Mel xo

      • anki_linnerheim@hotmail.com'
        Anki
        July 16, 2017

        ❤❤❤
        I feel SO supported!

        After I wrote this I have been doing more NARP-shifts (on all trauma considering my son, and everything that is in me, keeping him from healing, growing and living his life full all with the help of himself!) and I am already out of the panic – and so is HE!

        I am going through many more shifts on this to finally let this and my son go (trusting him and his soul to have it all without me!) – but even now I feel so much lighter and healthier and I could even feel grateful for this terrible experience for us both because I GOT IT! It was time to heal all the ways I see my son and his capacity, and my connection to him as a lifesaver!
        He had to be released from “me” to be free and grow and trust himself!!
        The moment I was thinking that “I welcome this terror as a gift to do what I now know I need”, I heard my son laughing and speaking to a game friend and I knew that WE have got it!

        Thank you with all my heart for trusting me and my son, and for telling me this is “truly the same as all traumas” (because it was SO big and traumatising that I didnt think I could target it as all other traumas and shifts for some reason)!

        I am on my way UP again! ❤

        • Melanie Tonia Evans
          July 17, 2017

          HI Anki,

          I am so happy for you – I knew you had this!!

          When we midwife our biggest breakdowns to breakthroughs the growth is phenomenal.

          All of that energy that was trapped in survival has now just been unleashed into creation!

          Mel xo

  • milicama09@gmail.com'
    Sandra
    July 15, 2017

    Hi Mel,

    thank you for recording this video, it was very helpful and full of useful information (I had to take notes 🙂 ) <3

    My question is can NARP help with brain damage that was caused by emotional and verbal abuse?
    I was severely bullied in both primarily and high school by a Narc and the damage I suffered is much worse than just lack of concentration – I'm like an autistic child with no ability to comprehend reality. I was reading a lot about the effects of abuse in those delicate years on brain development and now I'm scared there's no help for me. Doctors say that the brain of abused person looks very different from a healthy brain, they even have these pictures where you can see how some areas of brain reduced in size. Can abused brain heal?

    Much love xoxoxo <3<3<3

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 17, 2017

      Hi Sandra,

      I can only say what is my humble belief. All dis-ease is damage that has been caused physically from a break down of the “being”.

      When we release the trauma that created that breakdown, then space opens up and we re-set to wellbeing.

      In my own case my adrenals and brain was supposed to be damaged beyond repair. They are both completely healed, and I know without one shade of doubt that is because the trauma that generated that is now gone.

      I hope this helps.

      I absolutely do believe in miracles and I see them everyday in this Community.

      Mel xo

  • w.andreass@hotmail.com'
    Curious
    July 15, 2017

    Hi Mel, thanks for all the information you shared .it is always very informative. Most people have “stories” of their lives to sort out and go through. there is help out there so that is always welcome. Is always interesting to find what is wailable. many topics and courses arrive through mail and they are very useful an d supportive. find I often want to partake in interesting topics and run out of time. Could almost spend whole day on the net. Sometimes you have to let some of the couses arriving pass by because you schedule is already so full. Otherwise one helps to create adrenal exhausten. Am in the process of a big project in my life that hasn’t shared the details of about it to me till recently. It has made me very stressed, unsure of where I am next, what I am supposed to do etc. etc.etc even though I know it is being worked on.I am still unsure of details but told it is all taken care of. I hope the stars line up. Am working my way through as I have time, but time some days gets short.
    It is with comfort to read that there are many others that are trying to get to roots of there stories. Sometimes the vibes of others lights catches you and it turns out like a whirlwind inside oneself. Is that called overstimulation? Whatever the word.
    We are not all wired to the same speed of doing our dayly chores. Just how it is. 2 people are not made exactly the same. It is important to give that thought I find. Doesn’t mean one is right or one is wrong.
    Will join you NARP site to find out more re that topic. trying as bestI can to keep up on the interesting topics I have interest in.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 17, 2017

      Hi Curious,

      you are every welcome, and that is lovely that you are going to check out NARP!

      Mel xo

  • svnaimool@hotmail.com'
    Sherice
    July 15, 2017

    Hi, I’ve been doing Narp for 8 months and I thought I had uplevelled a lot of the pain and need for accountability and to win but recently i feel like I am constantly thinking about what the Narc did etc. I feel a huge disconnect and my shifting is not as powerful. I also am very aware of my addiction to eating sweet things.

    I feel a great need to do something very pivotal right now, i feel the time is now but i also feel sluggish and lethargic and full of doubr. It is like I am torn, no space to explore the true me just cramped with thoughts.

    Sherice

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 17, 2017

      Hi Sherice,

      Please know, like in Anki’s above that in our healing journey – absolutely we will come across some huge traumas within us that need to be released.

      My comment to you is identical to hers.

      This is simply (even though I know it doesn’t feel like that!) a trauma surfacing that you can go to, breath into, open you body load up and release with NARP Modules.

      Then I promise you, you will go up a BIG level into even more freedom.

      If you feel there is a ‘Block” (as you described) then target the block first. Ask this … “Somewhere in my body is a block that is not allowing my shifting to work as well as usual. Where is it?” Then somewhere in your body will light up …target that dense energy and shift until its not there.

      Then go back to the trauma and you will be able to shift it.

      Regarding eating sweet things- that is simply you self-mediacting this trauma, numbing out what needs to come out. You will be able to do specific shifts on that “urge” when you release this trauma -if it still remains. It may not.

      The other thing is Sherice, please come into the NARP Forum http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/member because it is is an invaluable place for coaching when you feel stuck.

      Here on the blog is not really the ideal place for back and forth coaching with NARP Modules.

      Just like Aki I hold the space for you – I know you have this, and truly you will see how glorious it is on the other side of these shifts.

      Mel xo

  • Wendyswanberg@gmail.com'
    Helen
    July 15, 2017

    I’m so familiar with these symptoms — Hair loss, panic, sudden outbreaks of tears and fear! And yet the hardest thing to resist is giving him “one more chance…he doesn’t mean to mistreat me…” I’m still with my N partner and am just beginning on this healing path — and feel fortunate to have found these tools and this forum before even more health-decline.
    After months of talking and reading about narcissism, and sharing openly with my partner, he seems to recognize himself and at times appears to feel ashamed and willing to change. We are scheduled to meet with two separate therapists (in the same practice) to try and alter our relationship rather than jettison it (we share a business and are actually close friends).
    I’ve decided to start my own healing and in solitary moments can begin to feel some reclamation of the “self” I’d relinquished… And here is my serious question: Is it risky to withdraw my “fuel” from this man while we are still living and working together? He is very perceptive with my emotions and he can feel my distancing, I think subconsciously but with obvious alarm.
    Just last night before going to sleep, I lay still and centered, breathing slowly and consciously reaching out to the universe for support, when my partner became suddenly alert and actually said “Wait…what’s happening right now?” I just held his hand lightly but didn’t allow him into my energy zone, though it took concentration to avoid the old habit of giving in.
    Has anyone else had this experience, and should I be watching for changes to that might portend trouble? There has been zero violence or threat from him over many years together … but the sensation of his panic at my withdrawal last night was new and disconcerting. Thank you!

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 17, 2017

      Hi Helen,

      please know when we do the work inside ur bodies to find, locate and shift the trauma of the little girl inside us feels like she “needs him” then we do heal and become so much stronger in our own bodies – we become people who just won’t have those urges anymore.

      It has so little to do with logic and so much to do with our inner emotional programming.

      A lot of it will also be your fear of his reaction (as you stated) when you are withdrawing from him.

      The truth – if he is N – then a loss of N-supply at the level that he would like it to be is something he will not enjoy. But the truth is their reaction is not so much about “where they are” – it is more about “where we are at”. When we are no longer wounded and leaking energy at the places we used to with them, a big shift occurs … we take back our power and they can no longer use our traumas against us.

      Yes there is usually see fallout – but to transition our life from a path that is not serving us to on that does, means there is transition and some grist and being “willing to lose it all to get it all” involved.

      I hope this helps, and sending you much healing, strength and courage.

      Mel xo

  • valpal@rogers.com'
    Valerie Palmer
    July 15, 2017

    Hi Mel,

    Please talk about the “freeze” part of the flight or fight. I was re traumatized 3 years ago and have gone thru hell, finally pulling out. I did not eat very much in that time and the anxiety and depression was with me from the time I opened my eyes until I awoke perhaps a few hours later. I finally found a good natropath and my eating habits have changed. My mother was probably a narc, and my husband (over 40 years ago, only married for 14 years) but it is my two sons 48 and 50 where I see that they have emulated their father. They have triggered me once again this year. I started your program in May and on the workshop and the modual 1 found almost instant relief. 3 weeks ago my 48 year old son dismissed me and hung up the phone. I am once again feeling all the old feelings, especially the loneliness which is so terrible such am empty feeling. I have become fearful and have memory lapse. I do not seem to function and forget things sometimes. Is this an age related problem? I am 73. I have gone ‘no contact’ with my son. Does anyone else suffer the extreme emptiness and loneliness? Thanks again Mel. I have known for years that my problems came from severe abuse from my mother, and have spent many years trying to heal, and tried many things, your program seem to help.

    Love and Light Valerie

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 17, 2017

      Hi Valerie,

      the truth Dear Lady is I don’t give an enormous energy to “symptoms” … because I know that it is the underlying cause that is the real core root. The freezing is a condition brought about because of traumas that are still wedged inside.

      These can be released so that the trauma is gone and the symptom “freezing” heals. And unless I was working with you with QFH and finding out “what” those traumas are – I can’t tell you. That is the work you can be doing with NARP Modules to find, release and heal this.

      Valerie, personally my focus (as it was and continues to be) would be locating that trauma and removing it, rather than trying to work out ways to manage it.

      Are you in the NARP Forum getting coaching with how to work with NARP more powerfully? http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/member

      I hope this can help you have more hope with this.

      Mel xo

  • deborahjeffery@outlook.com'
    Deborah
    July 15, 2017

    Hi Melanie, I purchased your healing package last October, I did the whole program do you need to keep doing it until you see yourself starting to fully wake up from the narcissistic abuse ,
    as I have been having counciloring who Spicilises in narcissistic abuse acupuncture once a week and many more other healing modalities and even became a energy healer and reiki practitioner 5 years ago
    I had been searching for the whole of this relationship were has Deborah gone why do I put up with this abuse and knowing he had cheated on me Iv left 3 times and came back and even Judy over a month ago told him I am done I am leaving after one of narcissist rants and I am still here with him
    , I have just start EMDR treatment I have had 2 session of EMDR the last one my therapist said my subconscious self is totally protecting me and controlling and stopping me from feeling any of my emotions this is frustrating and I have adrenal fatigue, I couldn’t work for 2 years as a result of being bullied at work and at home compounding I ended up with adjustments disorder and a melt down
    and I was very highly skilled in my business administration and can’t do what I use to do brain wise in this profession
    I found out a year ago that my partner of now 9 years has been narcissistically abusing me , when I found out last year I wasn’t working it took me 6 weeks to starting working again after I found out he’s a narcissist
    even tho I struggle with exhaustion I keep doing it as the income pays for healing needs , I use to be under weight then in the last few years I have started gaining weight which I have found is part of the effect of the adrenal fatigue it can go iether way gain or lose weight,
    Melanie would you please be able to give me some insight and guidance as to what I need to do
    Blessing thank you Deborah

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 17, 2017

      Hi Deborah,

      to work with NARP in the way it is intended, it to keep working Modules any time trauma surfaces.

      I work wth QFH for the rest of my life – each and every time I get a trauma, uncomfortable feeling, confusion – any “less than feeling” at all! Hence why my life just keeps exploding into more and more joy and wellbeing!

      The Program is not a 1-10 Modules – just get them done journey. You may for example have to work at stage 2 module, many many times to clear ALL the traumas that surfaced in that module.

      And the nn go back for further clan up when the next layers come – ad so on and so forth.

      That would be my highest suggestion you – even though I am biased (of course). When you have a powerful Quantum Tool that can reprogram your subconscious directly then just good self-care with that, as supplements, is all you need.

      And of course you can make your healing choices in any way you wish – that’s is just my own personal experience and what I have seen unfold for people in this Community over the last 10 years.

      My concern, is that you are spreading yourself to thin and not really getting that trauma release / reprogram happening – which means the you are stuck with trying to manage trauma that is still wedged inside you.

      That is the hard long and “survivor” way around.

      I believe so much more in the Thriver model.

      I hope this makes sense.

      Mel xo

  • sentarose@gmail.com'
    Sienna
    July 16, 2017

    I have had no income since January 2016 and currently live with a covert narcissist “friend” (frenemy?). I can’t join your program. I’m up for my old job and feel confident I’ll get it back but I now have a huge debt load and the move will only put me more into debt. I have to borrow 3K just to get moved as the job is over 400 miles away.

    I am listening to the YouTube vids and just signed up for your newsletter. I was on medications that only made me worse. I’ve withdrawn from them but I strongly suspect I have adrenalin fatigue. You give no advice on how to heal from that. I take B Complex and Vitamin D supplements but can’t afford much else. I tried melatonin but it caused me to sleep a lot more than usual. Maybe I needed the sleep.

    It will be months before I can pay for your program. I wished you offered some more support for those of us still escaping and surviving.

  • sallyaburgess@gmail.com'
    Sally
    July 17, 2017

    Hi Mel
    I suffer from a chronic disease called lichen sclerosis. I dated a narcissist for 3 years and the disease started approximately a year into our relationship.
    Do you truly believe your method has a chance of helping me? I feel desperate
    .
    Thanks
    Sally

  • alexandra_j_cooper@outlook.com'
    Alexandra Cooper
    July 18, 2017

    Dear Melanie and NAPRers,

    After a year of work, I thought I had gotten rid of the narcissist but it turns out that a deposit, which was owed to both of us for a flat we shared will be transferred back to his account only. This includes his and my part of the money as well. I have been struggling so much with the fear and pain of that because the agency has refused to split it into both our accounts. I just know that he will never repay me my part and I will never get to see my money. I know I need to go into myself and heal but I do not know how to access myself in that way with respect to this challenge. I need your support and thoughts.

    Kindly,

    Alexandra

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 18, 2017

      Hi Alexandra,

      truly Dear Lady it is the same process with NARP as what you have done with every wound to date.

      Go to the trauma, load it up, release it and bring in Source (the QFH process).

      And then you will get resolution and relief. I would use Module 1 or the Goal Setting Module for this, or you could use Module 4 if that is where you are drawn to.

      It is just when we get a big charge, our mind can take over and tell us its too overwhelming, confusing, traumatic … yet it is simply another trauma in our being that can be removed … of we just breathe into it and do the QFH process.

      Does this help?

      Also please know for any coaching and assistance that you require at any time you can access the NARP Forum for help – http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/member

      There is invaluable support whenever you need it!

      Mel xo

  • josiejo.wales@gmail.com'
    jo
    August 22, 2017

    Dear Melanie,
    What is NARP and how do i sign up for it? I’ve just on and off come out of a narcissitic relationship, but im still stuck on him consuming my everyday thoughts. I completely understand about the healing inner child thing as i started doing it, a bit like you i had an epiphany after frist time i left and was in complete breakdown for a couple of months. Gradually as i let the grief flow i was able to see the grief was about something much longer ago. gradually it began to seperte into different things. just as i started to occasionally get a real sense of self love and wholeness he came charging back into my life and i let him in. the destruction the second time was almost worse even though it was only for a month

    i dont want that to happene again, ive been away from him only a week and better for it, but my adrenals are messed up.

    can you tell me how to do the NARP? 🙂 thanks
    jo

  • bethgallagher91@gmail.com'
    B
    August 31, 2017

    I discovered your blog today and want to thank you so much for being the voice of wisdom and guide for healing for all of us who have known narcissists.
    I haven’t explored all of the blog but I’m really interested to know more about the quantum side of things. You approach healing in a unique and truly “evolved” way. I am going to start putting your advice into practice right away. Especially the suggestion that you start thinking of yourself as the creator of your responses and outcomes and moments in your life (that was how I interpreted it) as you talk about in another post… It was like a lightbulb went off for me in that moment. It totally blew my mind!
    I have narcissists on both sides – in my family, and my husband’s family. I can avoid my family but I can’t avoid my husband’s family, so just recently after being teased by all of his family, I decided that enough was enough – I had to start doing things, or not doing as the case may be, that I hadn’t done before. I kept giving them fuel. Responding like the bullied does to a bully with “No I’m not!” Wasn’t working for me (it fed them) and I had to take a good look at what I was doing and find a better way to respond and be able to thrive in their company.
    I am done with crying to myself, feeling helpless, and feeling like the things that make me, me (like speaking “posh” as they have said and not swearing much) and funny or weird to others.
    I need to stop outsourcing my self-image to these cruel people.
    Thanks for everything, Melanie!

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      August 31, 2017

      Hi B,

      You are very welcome 🙂

      I love that you get the Quantum information – becayse the truth really does set us free.

      That is great B that you are going to start taking your power back and not feeding them.

      Sending many blessings.

      Mel xo

      • bethgallagher91@gmail.com'
        B
        September 23, 2017

        Hi Mel, thanks for your response!

        If possible would you be able to delete my August 31st comment? Just for privacy reasons. Thank you 🙂

        • Melanie Tonia Evans
          September 24, 2017

          Hi B,

          you are very welcome, I am so pleased that helped!

          Could you please email support@melanietoniaevans.com with the request, and please let support know exactly where that comment is – to enable them to find it.

          Mel xo

  • lynettelanding@gmail.com'
    Gwenst
    October 11, 2017

    This is probably my personal favorite (of all of your videos). I experienced so many of the same symptoms, the worst being the crippling fear that I would never recover. When the trauma we’ve ignored finally catches up to us, it comes on like a category 5 hurricane. I often felt like I elected to stay in the path of storm after storm, b/c I knew no other way to live. The last storm nearly destroyed me. The fact that I’m alive today is a testimony to my beautiful spirit, so earlier, I thanked my inner child for setting off enough alarms to get me to evacuate. Your Narp program is helping me to pick up the pieces and rebuild a hurricane-proof existence. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      October 12, 2017

      Hi Gwenst,

      I am so pleased you enjoyed this video. You are so right about category 5!

      That is wonderful NARP is helping you heal Dear Lady.

      Sending many blessings 🙂

      Mel xo

  • mmalick444@gmail.com'
    MKKPM
    January 9, 2018

    Hi Melanie,

    I was married to my N for over 20 years and broke up 3 years ago. I purchased the NARP program but found it difficult to identify the actual beginning event or age of my wounds as a child (some things happened later) and I only seem to notice tension in my stomach. Am I really that disconnected? When I tried the first NARP modules, they made me feel more anxious because I couldn’t keep up with your pace and I felt I was doing it wrong because I couldn’t do or visualize what you described. I understand that we need to embrace the feeling to heal it, but how do we let it go for real? Maybe I am overthinking it… Also, I wanted to ask about the adrenal issues. Does this include hypothyroidism? I have been taking medication for years now and my hair had been very slowly falling out, but 3 years ago when my life fell apart, it started falling out like crazy and it hasn’t stopped since. It’s very thin now and I fear it will not stop. It seems so unfair that after all the pain I went through that now I have to deal with having my scalp show through my hair like I’m 80 (I am in my 50’s) – and that brings up another wound for healing – fear that I will be alone the rest of my life because men won’t find me attractive anymore. Sounds crazy I know, but I have never been loved unconditionally by a man. Guess that’s how I ended up in this mess. Lol

    Thank you for all you do Melanie and thanks for listening to all our concerns. It is so helpful to have someone to talk to who understands our journey and can give us hope for a better life. Blessing!

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      January 9, 2018

      Hi MKKPM,

      Please know that you can access, load up and shift trauma even if you ONLY can feel it in your body. The information isn’t completely necessary.

      I would love you to come into the NARP Forum http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/member for some help with this.

      Please also know M, my hair fell out in clumps, and it stopped when the trauma released. What the trauma causes is those types of symptoms and they all can reset back to wellbeing when our body not longer contains the trauma which are generating them.

      Pease know some coaching to help you in the Forum will be so helpful for you. You are very welcome MKKPM and I hope this helps.

      Mel xo

  • amazingamy.b@icloud.com'
    Amy
    January 18, 2018

    Hi Melanie,
    I have been involved with and then married who I believe is a narcissist or nearly full blown narcissist.
    It all resonates with me, all of the descriptions.
    I have recently come up with symptoms that I am really scared about. Initial basic tests from ER showed nothing wrong.
    Looking back, two and a half years ago I broke out with a deep tissue rash on my tummy that developed into hives that would last anywhere from 2-3 weeks. Only on my lower tummy. Prior to that first breaking out I was getting an itching feeling all over my body, especially after a shower.
    Then the rash/hives that started the month he abruptly left me. I was devastated in a way that I had never been before and thought I wasn’t going to make it. I had never felt like that ever. Worse than someone I love dying even. It was so incredibly intense and that was after about three months of anxiety and depression from deep emotional pain by him. All of the descriptions such as the deceiving lying manipulating word games head games cloaked communication emotional cheating, confusion, didn’t know up from down anymore.
    That rash went on and off for a year and a half and I remember feeling it on my eyes but the doctors saying they didn’t see anything.
    We got back together a year ago December 2016 and got married. I had broken out on my stomach a couple more times last year.
    I began having intense diarreah (sorry if that sounds vulgar but I want to describe what happened to me), stomach pain, colon pain, excruciating cramps when I would try to go to the bathroom. My intestines and stomach were a wreck. It would subside for awhile and then come back.
    I began having heart burn, and then an odd internal sharp pain right below my right side rib cage. Increased anxiety, irritability, and then I began to get extremely exhausted for no reason. Like I was drugged. It scared me.
    I then began having bone pain in my fingers, and nerve pricking in various areas on my body. My head feeling tight or heavy.
    Itchy skin, and cell turn over on my skin that was crazy.
    Slow healing wounds if I would get a scratch.
    Tingling hands and feet.
    He abruptly was going to divorce me after a big fight and I had been stressed out for about three months from August to November 2017.
    He filed for divorce. We were in the same house and we ended up being intimate for an extended period of time one night. And when we were done my entire body began to break in small wheals, welts, everywhere he had touched me. Then my lip began to swell. Then the lower lip. My tongue was tingling, and I was seeing extremely large wheals all over my abdomen, thighs, then my face, my head. Intensely itchy and very swollen. Hives everywhere and the ER has to give me an epipen shot and prednisone for four days. It took a week after taking that prednisone for me to feel normal again. And those hives didn’t subside without me taking three times the maximum dosage of Allegra. My eyes had huge wheals all the way around them. I get a funny feeling in my body, and in my head, and a funny taste in my mouth. I’m scared. Intense headaches at times also.
    I stopped taking the Allegra and was fine for a few days, and now my body is itching again, my skin will have hot spots in various places. My face is swollen.
    The doctors so far have said nothing but think it’s an allergy.
    I think it’s more than that and I am scared. My mid back, the spine feels numb.
    I have been under the most emotional pain I’ve ever been in in my life since being with this man.
    I will share my full story in another post if you’d like.
    But I watched your video on adrenal malfunction, and I wanted to know if any of this sounds familiar.
    I really would like your help.
    You have been a Godsend to me, I haven’t done your program yet but have watched so many of your videos, and just validating me gave me some peace.

    But this- to think that my stress level has caused this. I am very afraid.

  • niccideangelo@gmail.com'
    Nicci
    March 26, 2018

    I have been a year now away from my N and I am still discoverying so so many things that have been a result of that 5 year relationship. I stumbled across the NARP program about 6 months ago. I had been intellectually looking for answers as to why I was away from the N for 6 months and still felt like he controlled every aspect of me. It wasn’t until I fell across a Narcissist article that I started to connect the dots. I don’t know to what degree he is a narcissist, but he definitely had a lot of the characteristics…lack of responsibility, empathy, compassion, communication, entitlement, grandiose, etc. And everything felt like such a lie. I thought I had been going crazy or that something was truely wrong with me and my only (probably life-saving) recourse was to journal about it. I had written hundreds of pages in my confusion. And in going back and reading them now, I can totally see the unfolding of the N’s tactics and control. I had written about how no matter what I did or how hard I tried, nothing worked. Nothing made a difference or changed him. I had no idea of what I was up against or that I was really just spitting in the wind. Before knowing what Narcissists were about, I had even written about feeling like my soul had been hi-jacked and that I didn’t feel in control of my life. I had also written about feeling like I was in fight or flight mode ALL the time. This was my adrenal failure. I know what fight or flight mode felt like because I had early childhood traumas with vivid recollection and fight or flight mode felt familiar, like muscle memory. But with the N, it was happening on a regular basis, like I had no control over it any more. Which I didn’t. I have read most of the articles/blogs in NARP and have read every written word of the program. I have recently started to watch the videos also and now am ready to begin to do the real work of healing the subconscious wounds of my very traumatic and abusive childhood. With all that I now know, I don’t think I was ready to do the real work. I have had other life things to sort through with my children, my household, re-learning what I am about, and re-learning self care. Luckily I did not marry this guy. Luckily I knew at the subconscious level to not get financially involved with him or co-mingle real property. Luckily I had enough self preservation left that even though I didn’t know or understand what was happening, it felt very abnormal and very wrong. But after 5 years of damage, his hooks were in pretty deep. I am very empathetic and just simply could not understand that these types of people exist. And that something in me attracted this type of person. I am starting to peel back the layers of my own subconscious and have found several things like I feel like I am unloveable, like I feel like I deserve bad treatment, like I want bad people and humanity to prove to me that they can change, like I am carrying the sins of the world, like I am meant to be used, and so many other things, not to mention the things yet to be uncovered. In the last year, he successfully hovered me 3 times. Not to the point of getting back together, but to at least talk to him. And all 3 times, I went right back into fight or flight mode. But with each hoover attempt I got stronger and more aware of what was going on and what I was dealing with. The last time was the icing on the cake. He called and I answered because I was still hooked and missed him and loved him and wanted to hear his voice. But that quickly turned south when he said he wanted to dump his girlfiend to work it out with me. Everything felt so wrong about it. I even felt sorry for his current girlfriend. And all the previous emotions of mistrust, his low morals, his lack of integrity and his lack of responsibility flooded back in and I went off on him and I retaliated by telling his current girlfriend of his offer and wished her good luck trying to have a healthy relationship with him. This might have been my way of holding him accountable for being a jackass and I probably shouldn’t have done it, but I did. And I have no regrets. I have been able to maintain no contact since the last hoover attempt, no calls, no social media, nothing. He has not tried to hoover me since. I think he knows now that things may have changed a bit. Meaning I’m not afraid to bite back, quite the change from who he used to be able to manipulate. I do not recommend retaliation. I just happened to be in a position where we share nothing, I did not have to get a divorce from him, and we had no children to muddy the waters. I was free and clear from him and any friends we shared have chosen their sides. And even though we have not spoken, I still think about the injustices, the lack of accountability, and everything that was wrong about the relationship. I am still hooked on him. Melanie was so right and it has just taken me some time to sort through things, but the fact that I am still hooked is now my problem, not his. This problem cannot be fixed at the intellectual level, but rather at the subconscious level, by healing all the traumas that helped create the situations I allowed into my life. I have made much progress up until now, but know in my soul that my work is not yet done. I don’t feel like I am quite where I need to be. Part of me is afraid of the work that is to come because I know there is just a ton of junk in my subconscious. I know this at the intellectual level and at the intuitive level. I also know that to stop choosing and co-creating the quicksand relationships I have nearly drowned in, that I need to learn how to stop being a lead balloon and learn how to be a feather instead. I am a huge fan of the saying, “What you allow will continue”. At the intellectual level, it’s a no brainer. But the deeper meaning of that is that what you allow is ultimately determined by what is doing on at the subconsicous level and if they are filled with trauma, guess what…..you will allow more trauma. Even though I am afraid of all the traumas I know I have to heal, I will perservere. I don’t want my life guided by trauma any more!!!

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      March 26, 2018

      Hi Nicci,

      that is SO great you are going to dive in and clear the trauma.

      It is so true – it doesn’t matter how we slice this or dice it – that’s the work we need to do.

      Big kudos to you for having the courage to turn inwards.

      Wishing you many blessings.

      Mel xo

  • niccideangelo@gmail.com'
    Nicci
    March 26, 2018

    I just wanted to add a little more about the adrenal failure. I know what the fight or flight response felt like because I have vivid recollections in great detail of the childhood trauma and abuse I went through and the fight or flight responses that I went through. I had not had those responses since childhood. But once they started happening while I was with the N, I recognized what they were. The thing is, because of the N’s manipulations, I thought there was something wrong with me because they kept happening. I just didn’t realize they were happening because of the N. And the longer I stayed, the more frequent they became. Like a bad habit. At first, there were big things that caused these to happen….emotional and probably physical cheating. Looking back through my journal writings, there was a lot of triangulation going on. But because I felt maybe I had done something wrong or wasn’t enough in some regard, I believed him when he put the responsibility of “his” cheating on me, blaming me for it. Over time, because of the repeated fight or flight response in me, it took less and less for me to go into that response. It took less to trigger me and here’s how it felt. I would feel the surge of real adrenaline course throught my body and it would stay coursing for usually 1-3 days. That’s how long it would take to literally feel like it ran it’s course. During that time, I was extremely exhausted, I would literally not be able to eat, I would keep to myself in isolation, I would be quiet and talk as little as possible to people, I felt irrational, I felt like I wanted a physical release (like I wanted to punch something or destroy something), I was emotional, I was paranoid, I was depressed, and I was anxious. At the same time, I was hiding all this from family and friends and still mustered up the courage to go to work and pretend like everything was ok. Towards the end of the relationship, I was going through this about every 2 weeks. And towards the end, it really ramped up. I started to have lower back pain and at times thought I would just die. It really did feel like a fight for survival….and it was. Luckily I did not turn to drugs or alcohol or sex. I already knew how to rely on myself from my childhood abuse and did not need those things. I knew how to go within, not to heal, but rather to retreat. After the relationship was over and the hoovering started, it didn’t get better. I actually got a little worse. There would be times I would only eat one meal in five days. And if I didn’t “have” to do something, I would lay in my bed, usually after I got home from work and would stay there until the next morning. If I wasn’t sleeping, I was constantly rehashing the injustice of the relationship or the lack of accountability of the N. It wasn’t until I started getting the right information and learning about narcissists, that I actually started to make a little progress in the right direction and gave me the strength to do so. I still have a ways to go and need to do the steps to heal the traumas, but I have slowly learned some self care, to do things that make me happy, to do physical things like kickboxing, and to be more aware of the things I feed my body. I had no idea the vile things my unhealed soul could invite into my life and appreciate ALL of the information that the NARP program has brought into my life to arm me with the tools it will take to take out my soul’s trash, whether it was mine or my ancestors.

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