Melanie Tonia Evans

Flying Monkeys – The Minions Narcissists Use To Do Their Bidding

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans Permalink 3
91
Written By   Melanie Tonia Evans

 

Flying Monkeys is an expression that most people in narcissistic abuse communities know about.

It’s used to describe the people who the narcissist convinces to do their bidding.

Abuse by proxy (using other people to abuse us) is a such a common occurrence with narcissistic abuse, and in this episode I’m going to explain to you how to completely eradicate Flying Monkeys from your life – just as myself and thousands of other Thrivers have done.

Because I know how awful it is to not only be dealing with the heartbreak and terror of what a narcissist is capable of doing to you … but to also have a minion of people hounding you and trying to bring you down is horrific.

Understandably, because the trauma from the people who narcissists have enlisted against us may be so extreme, we can feel devastated and paranoid not knowing what has been said and what people may do to us next.

And … devastatingly, regardless of what we try to say or do to defend ourselves … these people are convinced we are the bad one.

It shocks us to see how toxic and vehement people the people who the narcissist has twisted against us, can be towards us.

I get it – I truly do. I used to detest these people and what they were trying to do to me. They became accessory enemies to me.

And initially what I was trying to do to help myself was doing nothing to help my situation at all.

Fortunately, I found another way, a way to not only survive what the flying monkeys were doing to me, but also to dissolve any influence they had in my life whatsoever.

In this Thriver TV episode it is my deepest wish that you too will learn what I did, and turn this all around … so that other people will no longer have the power to hurt you or bring your life down.

I used to want to curl up under a rock forever, when I was being smeared and tormented by the narcissist’s army of followers … yet when I found the answer to free myself from them, I can’t describe to you the relief and power in being able to walk down the street, conduct my life and BE myself – with my head held high!

It is my most passionate hope that this episode will free you to do the same.

I look forward to answering your questions and comments below.

 

The following two tabs change content below.
Melanie Tonia Evans is an international narcissistic abuse recovery expert. She is an author, radio host, and founder of Quanta Freedom Healing and The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program. Melanie's healing and teaching methods have liberated thousands of people from the effects of narcissistic abuse world-wide.

Your Free New Life Starter Pack

2 free eBooks free intro Video 2 hour free Webinar
  • Find out if someone in your life has Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
  • Learn how to do “No Contact” and keep it for good.
  • Discover how to get relief from the pain.
  • Learn how to reclaim your life with my 10-step process.

Sign up below to join my Community of over 50,000 people, and receive weekly information, inspiration and tools to get your life back on track.

ssl security padlock   We value your privacy. Your information will never be shared.
91 Thoughts on Flying Monkeys – The Minions Narcissists Use To Do Their Bidding
  • Rose7058@icloud.com'
    Rosey
    July 26, 2017

    Mel, you are so right!!! Thank You!!!

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 26, 2017

      Hi Rosey,

      I’m glad this resonated with you. It’s my pleasure!

      Mel xo

      • Bsolutions101@aol.com'
        Michael Mitchell
        July 27, 2017

        Thank you for all your marvelous insights.
        I’m 59 and am a Rolfer / surfer in San Diego.
        I was devastated by the most charming woman who love bombed me and then turned into a demon.
        I did not know people like this existed- without any feeling. I feel sorry for them but more importantly I have grown up and realized how I attracted this for my healing and growth.
        You have been a godsend- thank you again!
        Michael

        • Melanie Tonia Evans
          July 27, 2017

          Hi Michael,

          that is great that you resonate with this, and I am so pleased I could help.

          Mel xo

          • N/A@HOTMAIL.COM'
            F
            July 28, 2017

            Hi Mel

            I hope it is ok to post here, I’m not sure how else to contact you. I emailed the below yesterday, but i’ve somehow locked myself out of the account.

            Firstly, thank you so much for NARP. It has given me a much better quality of life. I was a lifelong co-dependent that attracted endless narcopaths in every area of my life, and have been able to massively heal that via your programme.

            I was wondering if I could seek your advice at this stage? I’ve been working NARP at least 4 times a week, sometimes multiple times a day for 13 months. I was discarded this time last year by the narc ex. The programme has helped me release the resentment and bitterness around the breakup, and I honestly do not feel anything negative towards him at this stage. I am completely neutral /at peace with everything thanks to NARP.

            I’ve struggled with resentment and anger/ bitterness towards my avoidant father and my Psychopathic mother. NARP has helped me get 40 % there with reaching a point of feeling ‘neutral’ towards them, and that part of my past. Overall, I’m doing good and thriving. To give you an idea of how far I have come – I wasn’t even functioning this time last year (in depression, agoraphobic for months).

            So the main reason I’m writing today, is because I am struggling with a specific area of my life that won’t get ‘unstuck’ with repetition compulsion. I’ve tried to make some new friends in recent months, and am perpetually rejected. I imagine that this has something to do with my abandonment issues from my upbringing, but I’ve worked really hard on this! I find that people pursue friendship with me, and then disappear out of the blue months later and never contact me again/ don’t respond etc. This is particularly hurtful, as some of them are people I met from a narc abuse support group I set up. I understand that it is normal to experience toxic people etc, and that provides the opportunity to learn boundary setting etc. I have managed to do this successfully with 2 workplace narcopaths since starting NARP. But the repetition compulsion is relentless with ‘friends’. I don’t mind spending time solo, working on my mind via NARP and other healing and body, but I feel like my life will be spent solo forever given the pattern of the past year. Is it normal to work on a ‘charge’ for months on end, and nothing to change?? Any advice would be most welcome J

            Thanks so much!!!

            Flora

      • cori.nichols@yahoo.com'
        Cori Nichols
        July 30, 2017

        You are so right. I have so many flying monkeys all around me including one of my kids. Mean things have been happening for months too me. One of the monkeys went into the community I live in and told people some pretty awful stuff. I’ve been isolated. Even worse, she went to my grandchilds school and bad mouthed me so much that my grandchild has no friends. I have had to switch her school and she has no friends in the neighborhood. Turns out she is telling everyone I do cocaine. My husband even ruined his granddaughter life to get back at me. That hurt me so derply that I am still trying to get over it. His own granddaughter. They stop at nothing and no one. It’s going to be a long divorce.

    • maxthecat222@bigpond.com'
      AM
      December 4, 2017

      Dear Mel,

      Firstly thank you for using your life to help people who have or are currently enduring Narcissistic abuse.

      My Narc is my sister and her abuse of me continues to this day. It has escalated since I had words with her (about a year ago) and basically told her that I refuse to accept any more of her abuse/gaslighting.

      She has contacted so many people in my life (friends on Facebook, neighbours, relatives, ex work colleagues, even doctors who are currently treating me for a progressive neurological condition I have) and told outrageous lies about me so I am no totally isolated, severely depressed and just plain angry about the situation that I am in.

      The problem is that I do not know how to get past the anger at this stage. I feel frozen with fear and anger and cannot seem to find my way out of this disorientating fog.

      I have been a good person my entire life (I am an empath who has taken on so many peoples problems during my life) and no longer have faith in Human Nature. I cannot get my head around why this happens to good people and have lost faith in God.

      Do you have any advice on how to stop focusing on this situation. I have contemplated suicide as I just want this pain to stop.

      Again thank you for all that you do .

  • gita.rani900@gmail.com'
    Abcd
    July 26, 2017

    All flying monkeys are not fooled by the narc. Some know exactly what they are doing. Read flyingmonkeysdenied.com

  • metalrabbit2004@gmail.com'
    Metal Rabbit
    July 26, 2017

    Was ironic that two shadow warriors saw through narc’s scam. I knew I couldn’t trust any relationship with them. I suspect one was narcissist. Premise of relationship appeared to be that I would join in triangulation against narcissist. I felt I had no common interests or shared values with these people. They seemed to thrive on conflict and triangulation, and I knew I would be othered when I made it clear that I wasn’t interested in being part of triangulation against him. I got the info I wanted and then let them lose interest in me. They felt I wasn’t being aggressive enough. I felt I was out of my element. As far as them assessing me, they were more interested in being critical than developing relationship and getting to know me.
    This has been part of my journey in leaving consciousness of the tribe.

  • act2ne@yahoo.com'
    act2ne
    July 26, 2017

    I wanted to thank you for your work it has helped me in ways I can not even comprehend. Abuse by proxy happened to me at work with a boss and a friend who knew my situation. It was a painful situation that filled me with pain and terror. I just didn’t understand what I did to deserve such abuse from these two individuals. It was the last straw and I left that job. I had wanted to leave with dignity and as a professional but that wasn’t the case. It just makes me really sad to think about what levels the narcissist will go to get even.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 26, 2017

      Hi act2ne,

      You are very welcome 🙂

      I hope this video has helped.

      Mel xo

      • ShoshieP613@aol.com'
        Shoshana
        July 27, 2017

        Hi Melanie what is the new term(if not new than I am a new observer to this)Minion Narc?I thought Minions were kind of cute no?Or are they like Gremlins ,cute in the beggining than turn to monsters?Hope not my kids adore Minions.

        • Melanie Tonia Evans
          July 29, 2017

          Hi Shoshana,

          I think we can call them “the people the narcissist has to do their bidding”.

          Any derogatory or demeaning terms don’t serve our healing.

          Mel xo

    • kritters@dodo.com.au'
      Kallie
      November 14, 2017

      act2ne

      I’m feeling the words in your post very deeply, since my situation was similar… “I had wanted to leave with dignity and as a professional but that wasn’t the case.”

      I was idolised by the narc in my workplace, and then humiliated and discarded. It was most bizarre to me that even the people I’d tried so hard to form good working relationships with, were lined up against me, and they carried out the narc’s bidding without any questions. Their loyalty to him was absolute. The mind games were terrible, and eventually I crashed and burned. I became an outcast, and my reputation took an enormous hit.

      I came away from there with my head spinning and my soul destroyed. Thankfully, I discovered there was a name for what I experienced, and that helped me to reassure myself that I wasn’t losing my sanity, (which is something the narc told everyone was happening). I am now NARP-ing, and trying to heal.

      Best of luck to you on your journey home to yourself.

      xx

  • glendam5@icloud.con'
    Glenda
    July 26, 2017

    Hi Melanie ,I’ve been listening and reading your info on healing from Narc abuse for awhile .
    I understand about flying monkeys even though I had never heard of it .i really need help .i have 2 daughter in laws at the moment who are narcs and my sons are there flying monkeys as well as my daughter is influenced by one of them .iI want to heal myself ,it’s almost unbearable how do I get started . Thankyou Glenda

  • susanmwyer@gmail.com'
    sue
    July 26, 2017

    yeah i have been watching the flying moneys around me and established no contact ..i can’t explain to them wat i see without sounding like I’m smearing as well it been so frustrating …ive lost contact with my dearest friend ,the narcs family whom really can’t get me and think i have lost the plot

  • alikimberley@gmail.com'
    Ali
    July 26, 2017

    Melanie, thank you so much…can’t find the words to express how grateful I am to find answers to a dynamic that’s bamboozled me for years!

  • Upsidedowndevi@gmail.com'
    Devon
    July 26, 2017

    Thank you Mel for this follow up, through going inside and healing I have, in the past few days, uncovered a new layer of ‘material’ being my resentment towards my siblings for, what I considered to be, their part, in my mothers N behaviour. I’m feeling such a liberating sense of relief getting the information in the form of strong emotions and in having the tools to go inwards again, to listen, to validate,to heal and then uplevel. Such profound shifts continue to take place in my outer world as I go inwards and then inwards some more. Thank you and please keep up your amazing work! Much love xo

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 26, 2017

      Hi Devon,

      it’s my pleasure!

      I love that you are continuing to shift, expand and Thrive.

      You are an inspiration to so many Devon!

      Mel xo

  • khmaryam96@gmail.com'
    Maryam
    July 26, 2017

    Dear Melinie,

    Right now I’m in a state of No Contact with a narcissistic friend/ classmate who has turned the majority of the class/ previous friends against me. I’ve come to have deep faith in the rule so within, so without and have worked on healing my Inner Being. However, I know that after the end of the summer vacation I have to meet her, as well as all those who are on her side again, and I am going to have to interact with them on a daily basis. I am afraid this may result in me going back to square one with all the pain, shame, guilt and sense of isolation. What can I do to overcome this fear? What inner traumas do you think I have to work on?

    Love,
    Maryam

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 26, 2017

      Hi Maryam,

      you are so on the right track. And what this means is that you are being called to really dig deeper, and also if necessary to confront in this situation.

      To be you – to speak up regardless of how it is received, and to be yourself.

      It’s about shifting the terrors of NOT being able to show up … so that if necessary you can and will.

      The inner traumas are the ones we feel inside … all we need to do (ever) is track the trauma in our body with Module work, and load up and release.

      Please know, if you want specialised help with this situation Maryam, then the Forum is the place for that – there is so much powerful wisdom and guidance there http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/member

      I hope this helps.

      Mel xo

      • jraltizer@gmail.com'
        No Name
        July 26, 2017

        Thank you for your reply to Maryam. It has helped me as well.

        My situation was work related. I worked for over 20 years at the same place. It was a place with a lot of creative genius but also a lot of N’s! Due to the position I had there I was able to literally fly under the radar of these nasty people for years. Eventually I did something to draw their attention to me and they began a campaign along with their minions that made it incredibly unpleasant to work there or even get my job done in a satisfactory manner. It has been over 10 years since I resigned but until very recently I couldn’t even walk past the office building without having a panic attack or feel extremely uncomfortable. I don’t even feel good about my profession either. I have worked hard over the past 10 years to “rise above” but there are times that I still literally hate these people for what they did. Likewise they have “gatherings” of all the people who have worked there in the past. I don’t even think I can stomach going to one of these events.

        • Melanie Tonia Evans
          July 27, 2017

          Hi NN,

          I am glad it helped you 🙂

          Truly, the real relief and freedom comes when we release the associated trauma out of body. That is what Quanta Freedom Healing does.

          Then, rather than try to manage the trigger (“rise above”) – there just is none.

          If you would like to experience this (which can be applied to any trauma in our life) come into one of my free workshops – http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar

          I hope this helps.

          Mel xo

          • Naturalcoconutwater@gmail.com'
            Flora
            July 28, 2017

            Hi Mel

            I hope it is ok to post here, I’m not sure how else to contact you.

            Firstly, thank you so much for NARP. It has given me a much better quality of life. I was a lifelong co-dependent that attracted endless narcopaths in every area of my life, and have been able to massively heal that via your programme.

            I was wondering if I could seek your advice at this stage? I’ve been working NARP at least 4 times a week, sometimes multiple times a day for 13 months. I was discarded this time last year by the narc ex. The programme has helped me release the resentment and bitterness around the breakup, and I honestly do not feel anything negative towards him at this stage. I am completely neutral /at peace with everything thanks to NARP.

            I’ve struggled with resentment and anger/ bitterness towards my avoidant father and my Psychopathic mother. NARP has helped me get 40 % there with reaching a point of feeling ‘neutral’ towards them, and that part of my past. Overall, I’m doing good and thriving. To give you an idea of how far I have come – I wasn’t even functioning this time last year (in depression, agoraphobic for months).

            So the main reason I’m writing today, is because I am struggling with a specific area of my life that won’t get ‘unstuck’ with repetition compulsion. I’ve tried to make some new friends in recent months, and am perpetually rejected. I imagine that this has something to do with my abandonment issues from my upbringing, but I’ve worked really hard on this! I find that people pursue friendship with me, and then disappear out of the blue months later and never contact me again/ don’t respond etc. This is particularly hurtful, as some of them are people I met from a narc abuse support group I set up. I understand that it is normal to experience toxic people etc, and that provides the opportunity to learn boundary setting etc. I have managed to do this successfully with 2 workplace narcopaths since starting NARP. But the repetition compulsion is relentless with ‘friends’. I don’t mind spending time solo, working on my mind via NARP and other healing and body, but I feel like my life will be spent solo forever given the pattern of the past year. Is it normal to work on a ‘charge’ for months on end, and nothing to change?? Any advice would be most welcome J

            Thanks so much!!!

            Flora

          • Melanie Tonia Evans
            July 29, 2017

            Hi Flora,

            please know that the best way to get specialised help as a NARPer is to post in the NARP Forum – http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/member

            There you can get incredible help from many others as well as myself.

            You are so welcome regarding NARP, I feel so blessed that I have been able to share a Healing System that not only saved my life but has also worked for so many others.I am so happy for you that you have healed so much with NARP.

            Flora have you thought about TFFOW? https://www.melanietoniaevans.com/services/transforming-family-of-origin-wounds-course.htm

            The reason I say this is because I believe it will grant you the laser like shifts to really get that part of your journey sorted and done … just as the TFFOW work did for me.

            I agree that this will create a huge shift in your relationships with others.

            Flora that is my highest suggestions for you.

            Mel xo

  • lisaadams1122@hotmail.com'
    Lisa
    July 26, 2017

    Well said and as usual you are right. The term flying monkeys was new to me and made me laugh, however dealing with them is an everyday occurrence for me. I live in a small town. I am teetering on the edge of flying on and living a wonderful life within myself as I do this work while still living in the same town. Some days are trickier. At least I have my eyes on the prize and know I can do this.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 26, 2017

      Hi Lisa,

      Kudos to you – you can do this!

      It is about being “self” regardless of what anyone else is or isn’t doing.

      That is a powerful force that simply can’t be reckoned with.

      Mel xo

  • Skruse@tutanota.com'
    Susan
    July 26, 2017

    Another great piece Melanie,
    I am being persecuted by a flying monkey my narc has buddied up with since we broke. I won’t go into the details but I do believe a lot of these flying monkeys are well aware of the trauma they are inflicting on the victims of the narcissist and get off on it.
    Maybe they are narcs or another cluster B type…what’s your thoughts on that Melanie?

    I just keep thinking ” Give them enough rope and eventually they will gang themselves”
    By setting up a situation like this a narc is trying to antagonize and get a reaction which we know gives them “Narcisstic supply” good or bad reactions they don’t care as long as they can draw something from you. It really is like a junkie looking for a hit anywhere they can.
    My narc has done it in a legal document also stating she was ” Living in fear of me ” I won’t react to that either but have made my solicitor aware of the reasoning behind it.
    I understand that some unsuspecting people may fall for the sob story at the beginning but they start to question things and detach. I think the genuinely nasty ones hang on for the thrill.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 26, 2017

      Hi Susan,

      Thank you 🙂

      My thoughts on “what” they are is this … regardless of “what” they are when we up-level they cannot be in our experience – so within … so without.

      Unconsciousness regarding “them” is unconsciousness, and our only real path is to graduate ourselves from unconsciousness into being fully awake … which is the knowing that we can only be receiving something distressful if we are still carrying internal traumas regarding “others”, “fear of persecution” and the like …

      Therefore it is never about anyone else anyway – it is about generating from within our own breakthroughs and liberations.

      Mel xo

      • Tinamcella@gmail.com'
        Tina Fricano
        August 8, 2017

        Hi:

        I have been doing with gaslighting/flying monkeys via my ex of 30 years for the past year now. It has been horrific, I cannot talk to anybody about it as I appear crazy. I just closed my business partially because I was so distracted by what he was trying to do to me. He said he wants me back in his life but I believe he is motivated to have me back in his life so that I will not expose his illegal activities. In the last month, I have moved my residence, shut down my business I have moved into a safe haven for abused Women so that I can deal with my issues and move on with my life. This type of abuse needs to be brought to the attention of the authorities and the general public so that people like me can get help. I would love to talk to you this issue if you are interested

        • Melanie Tonia Evans
          August 9, 2017

          Hi Tina,

          please know my focus and work is totally about healing and empowering the people who have been traumatised.

          That is where I can have the most impact. Being a whistle blower is not my path.

          Does that makes sense?

          I wish you all the best in your healing and recovery to start generating your True Life.

          Mel xo

        • treenag10@gmail.com'
          making progress
          August 27, 2017

          Tina- an organisation called VMIAC is calling for such feedback as part of the royal commission into family violence – they are holding forums to get feedback so can train various professional groups- call Frankie (a women) on Tel 03 9380 3900
          next forum is Sept 4th

  • kimschwerdtfeger@telkomsa.net'
    Kim S
    July 26, 2017

    Wow this was so helpful. Just when I really came face to face with what the term ‘flying monkey’ encapsulates, through the agony of being faced with one. I know him so well. I thought of him as a dear friend. He is an empathetic person, a kind and caring person, who has just got duped and manipulated into believing and serving a situation which he does not understand. He was beastly to me, but I forgive him, because I understand. I will just stay away and concentrate on me and why it hurt me and try and evolve that.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 26, 2017

      Hi Kim,

      I am so pleased this has helped!

      How wonderful you have taken your power back to you 🙂

      Mel xo

  • magnolirl@eircom.net'
    Mag
    July 26, 2017

    Thank you Melanie. lightbulb moment today of how my narcissist had turned me into a flying monkey and how i had defended him and his opinions to the detriment of my relationships with others. I thought we were on the same level and these opinions were mine but NO THEY WERE HIS and he pulled me into his world of ridiculing others for their differing opinions.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 26, 2017

      Hi Mag,

      I love your honesty …

      Sooooo interesting isn’t it when we realise this!

      Mel xo

  • jonassahlberg@hotmail.com'
    Olivia
    July 26, 2017

    I see clearly now this happened with someone I was not completely sure had npd or not (turning my friends against me while all sitting in the same room, regarding something very important to me), but I refused to have contact with anymore because I felt that way.
    I does feel great that my intuition decide more and more now, Despite what anyone tells me is right or wrong, including myself.

    I wrote a comment on the last blog post that really was from a victimized place. I realize now that even if I have physical damage to my body, the healing is still the same as with any other situation. I might never be perfect, but I’m here to heal and thrive the best I can.

    Thank you for another great episode
    Olivia xx

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 26, 2017

      Hi Olivia,

      it is wonderful to hear from you again.

      You are doing great!

      Absolutely Dear One we are here to love and accept ourselves as we are now – and then heal and Thrive even more.

      Without carrying our traumas around – it all starts to organically unfold higher and better for us.

      Mel xo

      • jonassahlberg@hotmail.com'
        Olivia
        July 27, 2017

        Thank you so much Melanie, that means a lot.

        Olivia xx

  • r.frangiosa@hotmail.com'
    Possum
    July 26, 2017

    Hi Mel

    I too was a super loyal defender of the ex N and was incensed by the apparent mistreatment of him by others, esp ex girlfriends. I now realise it was all a pack of lies, and can see that I was duped by his outrageous behaviour, which of course I then witnessed first hand when he deserted us. I very quickly became the hated ex, and he was brutal for a long time.
    He immediately turned his entire family against me, and our mutual friends, and would try the dirty tactics with anyone that would listen really – even strangers, and esp lawyers. His mother has played the game in order to have access to the girls via him.
    Now he has a new girlfriend, and I feel myself having pity on her, as she has no idea what she is getting into. People always said to me that when he gets a new partner he will leave me alone. However, I believe he was forced to do this because I had transcended to a level whereby we now exist on different planets, and there is no longer any currency with me. I do need to work on my urge to try to warn this new person about the inevitable devastation of getting involved with him. Do you please have any advice on this please… do I just accept that this needs to be her journey.

    Thank you for another wonderful insight. I do often feel as though you are telling parts of my story when I hear snippets of yours. Bless you for all that you do. ?

    • jonassahlberg@hotmail.com'
      Olivia
      July 26, 2017

      Hi Possum,

      I was in the same position you described, except the narc was my father (I was his main supply before.). I had an extreme urge to tell her (his new girlfriend) what she was getting into. She was so kind and friendly, and she could not understand why I wanted nothing to do with my father, who to her was the best man in the world. I eventually told her. I had 7 pages of information printed out, specific to covert npd (my father has that), and I told her in advance she would not want to be friends with me anymore after I tell her why. I made her come home to me where I clearly explained the situation, and made her read the 7 pages. She did recognize some traits which were listed, but in the end it did not change her mind. She is still with the narc and they bought a house together. I just wanted to say that even if you tell her, it most likely won’t change anything. I know that won’t just change how you feel, but maybe it can help.

      Good luck, and bless you with support <3

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 26, 2017

      Hi Possum,

      I love the self-honesty and growth you are applying as you unravel and heal.

      This video will help …

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w6jS5WIl2Pw

      You are very welcome Possum and thank you for being a fellow traveller on this amazing Thriver Path.

      Mel xo

    • doubledecker@freemail.hu'
      Betty
      July 27, 2017

      Dear Possum,

      I don’t know you but I feel deep empathy for you. However you aren’t with him any more, you know him better than anyone. You have experienced so much on your own skin. As an empathic person you feel sorry for his next partner and that’s totally normal, healthy behaviour.
      On the one part I can agree with people who say, keep yourself safe and heal your wounded self because that is what saves your life from another narcissistic relationship. So that means that you need to focus on yourself first before you try to help others!
      On the other part I think that as a human being you could write your story or some of your experiences with him for his partner to warn her and not feel guilty and shamed of something terrible could happen and you don’t do anything. You could do this once and for all and the rest is up to her whether she thinks about it and gets help in such a hard situation. I know this is not your business what is happening to him and her. Although that would be the most insensitive act not to warn others who may be in danger!
      I would have been so grateful if anyone from the big crowd which included my relatives, partners, schoolmates, teachers and anyone in the society had warned me in confidence and helped me by getting out of my family! So it really matters how much we keep our eyes open and help others when we feel it is needed.

      Hope it helps you by finding the right decision!

      Best wishes!

      Betty

  • yoginimamamia@gmail.com'
    Mia
    July 26, 2017

    So true. I think when we are in survival mode we are all narcissistic to some degree. Flying monkey is one survival mode, but at least it’s easier to overcome than having spiraled into full on narcissism. I’m finding after the hell I’ve been through for 35 years that approaching everyone around me with love instead of fear is key.

  • takealettermissjones@gmail.com'
    Lena
    July 26, 2017

    The narcissist I used to know basically established his own cult.

    A wealthy man, he used money to insulate himself against the effects of his self-serving behaviour. By always buying drinks, paying for food, laying on parties and in the case of “close friends” giving them jobs or paying their rent, he managed to keep his minions in a state of dependence/awe.

    By appearing to be so generous, he was then free to do exactly what he wanted whenever he wanted. He could lie, deceive and manipulate as much as he liked and nobody would ever question him. It wasn’t in their interest, and besides, who is going to think the man who just bought you dinner is anything other than kind and generous?

    It’s a canny trick.

  • irene.byrne@gmail.com'
    Ruth
    July 26, 2017

    Hi I am a silver member, I dont have the money for the gold package currently, I am trying to overcome narcissistic abuse from my inlaws, I don’t want it to ruin my marriage, I have been subject to their abuse when I was at my most vulnerable just after childbirth, I have been doing the modules, uninterrupted, present, and actively engaging with the instructions and imagining, however I find the next day I am feeling worse not better, I need some guidance as to why this is, I barely afforded the silver package so an upgrade right now is not an option, I don’t want to be a victim and want to get to a point where I have peace of mind and these people are irrelevant to my my well being, both the narcissist and the so called flying monkeys. I have limited contact but complete no contact is not an option.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 26, 2017

      Hi Ruth,

      please contact support@melanietoniaevans.com and explain your situation … I have made a note that you will be granted the upgrade.

      Then myself, Thrivers and Moderators in the Forum will be able to help you tweak or shift what is necessary to have your healing on its way.

      Mel xo

      • irene.byrne@gmail.com'
        Ruth
        August 1, 2017

        wow thank you!i didnt see your reply,thank you so much for your generous offer,as soon as i can i will certainly pay for the upgrade,many thanks again

  • ap2109@gmail.com'
    Amanda
    July 26, 2017

    This was excellent to hear. There is one person who I loathe about all else…he knew about the narcissist cheating on me and helped cover it up, all the while pretending to be my friend and even breaking bread with me in my home. I get so mad because he knows the truth and continues to be best friends with the N. What makes me even more mad is everyone in my community thinks he’s the greatest…in fact, he just named to a list of the our city’s most commendable people.

    But I know that he has inner turmoil and is being used just as I was. I like what you said about remembering how I was once a flying monkey…I totally drank the Kool Aid and I remembering defending the N tooth and nail even though the evidence was right there in front of me. I ignored everything for so long. I know this friend of the N will see the light someday as well. With it N, it is not if, but when you see a side so ugly that you can no longer turn a blind eye. When I see it this way, I feel bad for the flying monkey.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 26, 2017

      Hi Amanda,

      thank you also for your honesty …

      I agree the Flying Monkeys are often that close they are going to be next on the hit list …

      It happens all the time.

      In my life N Number 1’s most “famous” flying monkey ended up totally destroyed by the N …

      It’s all toxic … no-one wins.

      But when we wake up we can move up and out of all of it.

      Mel xo

  • kathy.backus@me.com'
    Kathy
    July 26, 2017

    I am just awakening and accepting my narcissistic husband. Amazingly, he just created a flying monkey out of my mother! I love how your blogs are so timely. In this pain and shock, I do more work with the modules of the program. One question I do have is in the miffle of replying to his legal affidavit for both temporary orders and divorce, there are untruths. I have emails etc to show the truth. My understanding is that I should submit the truth and do my healing!

  • lucy.mae@westnet.com.au'
    Lucy
    July 27, 2017

    Why does anger (projected outward) seem so much harder to shift than inner emotions like fear and hurt? I’ve been doing this for about 12 months in a volunteer role in a community organisation. The narcissist isn’t a huge problem to me, she is doing all the predictable things, and on the odd occasion she’s thrown me off course I’ve been able to re-centre myself fairly well.
    But the men!! The enablers!! She has triangulated the three men I need to deal with in this organisation – one is “in love”, one is “in awe” of her – and the other has just been discarded! Yes, I know I’ve been this easily duped, too, and I know these men are triggering a whole heap of childhood stuff to do with being the only little sister of older brothers, brushed aside, put down, unimportant, unsupported, sexually abused …
    I find inward emotions generally pretty easy to shift, but anger doesn’t let go as easily. Sometimes it will shift to self-respect, self-assurance, sometimes a bit, sometimes it seems to, then rages back with bells on.
    I’d rather not be wasting energy on any of these people when the role, otherwise, is such a joy to me.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 27, 2017

      Hi Lucy,

      anger is often a defence for something deeper and more vulnerable … like grief, loss and powerlessness.

      Our ego is invested in hanging onto the anger to stop us shifting the deeper trauma.

      What I like to do with anger, is to get really real and vulnerable with myself, and say “I want to target what is under this anger. What is it REALLY about”, then somewhere lights up within, I open my body and really collapse into the deeper trauma to pick it up and shift it out.

      That is what I would do with this to shift it.

      Please also know the NARP Forum http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/member is an invaluable place to get help if you ever feel stuck.

      I hope this helps.

      Mel xo

  • cromeo07@gmail.com'
    Cindy
    July 27, 2017

    This makes so much sense to me. I know what my (hopefully) soon-to-be ex is doing with his smear campaign. I’ve handled it all pretty well because most people know the truth. He hasn’t convinced anyone to be believe his lies about me except people who want to believe him and be in his toxic circle. However, in the last six weeks, I have discovered that my 28-year-old son and his fiancée are now joining with him against me. He is my only child. She has been his girlfriend, now fiancée, for six years, so we have been very close. Now they don’t speak to me. I’m being completely shunned by them. What is worse, if that’s even possible, is they are shunning my parents. My parents haven’t even discussed my divorce with them ever, not at all. They have only loved and supported my son and his fiancée. So they’ve made my parents guilty by association with me.

    This is really the most heart breaking thing I have ever experienced. It is so irrational. I can’t imagine what he has said to turn these smart, kind, loving people against us. He is not my son’s dad, by the way. He is the step-parent, which really has us baffled.

    But you reminded me today that I did the same thing for him–I sided with him against people I loved. I lost my best friend because I had taken his side over hers. I believed him, not her. I went to court and fought his ex-wife because I believed him when he told me SHE was the monster.

    My son is just doing what I did. He will find the truth, just like I did. I pray it will happen sooner than later though. In the meantime, I’m very sad.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 27, 2017

      Hi Cindy,

      it is so painful when our own children are turned against us. My heart goes out to you.

      Cindy, this I know we are not powerless in this situation. We can so heal within us the trauma which then creates the space for our children to see the truth and come to us.

      There are many many Thrivers in this Community who have reversed alienation by doing that.

      Wishing you healing and relief from this.

      Mel xo

      • cromeo07@gmail.com'
        Cindy
        July 27, 2017

        Thank you! You’ve helped me so much with your insight and all that you’ve shared.

  • chris.whittaker2@btinternet.com'
    Chris
    July 27, 2017

    I remember the circle of friends I was in at the time giving me funny looks and it was because of my ex Narc Housemate telling them terrible lies about me and what I,d said, it beggars belief as we had grown up together going back to infant school aged four, but one night he got caught out as someone said to me with the Narc present, “What,s all this about you calling my girlfriend a Shopgirl “( she worked in a Pharmacy), I strenuously denied this to him and I challenged the Narc and he went all quiet for once, Lol, once I left the house we shared and was no longer paying half the bills he treated me like crap.

  • amy050269@icloud.com'
    Amy
    July 27, 2017

    Hi Mel,

    This is another great episode. What module do you suggest using for this and what may be some of the trapped trauma.

    Love
    Amy

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 27, 2017

      Hi Amy,

      I am glad you enjoyed it.

      Module 1 and the Goal Setting Modules are powerful to up level anything at all!

      That is what I generally work with … after of course doing the core work with NARP – and even when doing it.

      I hope this helps.

      Mel xo

  • bar-car@live.ca'
    Freeliving
    July 27, 2017

    July 26/17
    I have been reading your info for a month or more.I have been separated from the narc for a couple months.Had never heard of NPD before.Todays video is happening in my life.I haven’t got myself to a place to engage in QH yet.Thanks you for all your info!!

  • alchemi000@hotmail.com'
    Michelle
    July 27, 2017

    Gday Melanie, I’m from Melbourne also 🙂

    I have been watching many of your videos they are so jam packed full of awesome information, helpful tips and empathy! thank you <3
    I just wanted to say that towards the end of this video on flying monkeys you briefly mentioned that "you were batting for the narcissist on his behalf believing he was so hard done by, and you had previously (in the early days) defended the narc and attacked people on his behalf, and you where so passionate about this because of your "still existing wounds of injustice" that cause you to try to sort out everybody else's problems. I can so much relate to this, would you mind elaborating on or making a video about 'The existing wounds of injustice'. please elaborate on how 'the wounds of injustice' can cause calamity, delusional thinking and toxic drama's so much so that we ourselves become flying monkeys! Wow that would be some awesome break through knowledge!!! 😀 hugs xx

  • alchemi000@hotmail.com'
    Michelle
    July 27, 2017

    hi Melanie, after posting to you the previous message the radio was playing this song, I thinks its sign that kind of explains our “existing wounds of injustice” so below are the lyrics. The song is called “Sorry To Myself ” by Alanis Morissette. (hear it on youtube, very moving! )

    “Sorry To Myself”

    For hearing all my doubts so selectively and
    For continuing my numbing love endlessly.
    For helping you and myself: not even considering
    For beating myself up and over functioning.

    To whom do I owe the biggest apology?
    No one’s been crueller than I’ve been to me.

    For letting you decide if I indeed was desirable
    For myself love being so embarrassingly conditional.
    And for denying myself to somehow make us compatible
    And for trying to fit a rectangle into a ball.

    And
    To whom do I owe the biggest apology?
    No one’s been crueller than I’ve been to me.

    I’m sorry to myself.
    My apologies begin here before everybody else.
    I’m sorry to myself.
    For treating me worse than I would anybody else.

    For blaming myself for your unhappiness
    And for my impatience when I was perfect where I was.
    Ignoring all the signs that I was not ready,
    And expecting myself to be where you wanted me to be.

    To whom do I owe the first apology?
    No one’s been crueller than I’ve been to me.

    And
    I’m sorry to myself.
    My apologies begin here before everybody else.
    I’m sorry to myself.
    For treating me worse than I would anybody else.

    Well, I wonder which crime is the biggest ?
    Forgetting you or forgetting myself…
    Had I heeded the wisdom of the latter,
    I would’ve naturally loved the former.

    For ignoring you: my highest voices.
    For smiling when my strife was all too obvious.
    For being so disassociated from my body,
    And for not letting go when it would’ve been the kindest thing.

    To whom do I owe the biggest apology?
    No one’s been crueler than I’ve been to me.

    And
    I’m sorry to myself.
    My apologies begin here before everybody else
    I’m sorry to myself.
    For treating me worse than I would anybody else.
    I’m sorry to myself.
    My apologies begin here before everybody else
    I’m sorry to myself.
    For treating me worse than I would anybody else

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 29, 2017

      Hi Michelle,

      what a a powerful song, Alanis is very “awake” … absolutely!

      Thank you for your share.

      Mel xo

  • crb15@shaw.ca'
    cathy
    July 27, 2017

    Hi Melonie
    love your videos have helped me a great deal in the past 2 years,,,i find i am so much more aware of people in a good way,,and do not take on there drama,,,i still feel empathy maybe even more now,,I finally,, feel compassion for the ex narc and his new supply ,she is his flying monkey as i was,,,,,,it has taken me a long time to get over the abuse and the betrayal,,it was a long 20 year chapter in my life and i learned soooo much,,thank you so much ,,,,Cathy from Canada

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 29, 2017

      Hi Cathy,

      I am so pleased they have helped.

      Keep healing Dear Lady and please know you are very welcome 🙂

      Mel xo

  • xenia.wordart@gmail.com'
    Xenia
    July 27, 2017

    Very true.
    The Ns in my situation were very covert so I got really paranoid and started detesting relatives, neighbours, women, people of my nationality…

    It was as if everyone around turned into Hyde and I was a pariah. Despite never having had intimate relations outside of marriage or allowing any male in as I was focused on my kids… for some reason a woman living alone (even totally covered in terms of very conservative wardrobe and minding her own business) seemed to be prey and maligned and somehow evil. I could ‘pick up the vibes’ of ‘she is immoral’ and it was frustrating not knowing who was saying what and what I was being accused of

    I have been NARPing 6-7 months and it is interesting how people are being respectful. Kids don’t avoid my kid in the park. Men don’t leer at me and a couple of women made friendship overtures.

    I am still eager to leave and the N has obstructed my passport efforts for the child and has friends in hifh places whoight make issues if I try to leave.. i changed my number and got a bunch of anonymous texts saying stuff like ‘aha… there you are’ and mocking … immmediately I put in the new sim. He was monitoring and it is like living in a fishbowl. But now I know to focus on the inner work and not give their shenanigans energy. Clean up the inner and keep praying in gratitude and self partnering without giving them energy and I know it will happen God willing.

    thank you so much for NARP. It has truly transformed how I feel and the outer shows it.
    Still working it daily but now I know with absolute certainty all is well.
    God bless

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 29, 2017

      Hi Xenia,

      that is so wonderful that you are doing the inner work and the outer is transforming for you!

      I am so happy for you that you are taking your power back and healing this at the core 🙂

      Bless!

      Mel xo

  • bears14@verizon.net'
    Bill
    July 27, 2017

    I use to work for a supervisor like this. Their were some higher ups who turned on me cause they listened to his lies. I was devastated. After learning about what I use to deal with after I left, started to get better. Thanks for your great work Mel. You truely help folks get free from hell.

  • pooja_verma@hotmail.com'
    Sanity
    July 28, 2017

    Hi Melanie,

    Every morning I look forward to your posts, a true blessing….they are helping me decipher a lot of things. The ongoing narcissist abuse has left me broken, shattered and drained and your writings are helping me shift focus to my own recovery. I have a young child who is getting badly impacted with what he is witnessing from his father and I remain extremely anguished about the psychological effects it will have on my child in the long run. The manipulations, lies and abuse from my husband are reaching newer heights and extremely difficult to handle for us now. My prime focus in all this is to be able to protect my child from these damaging effects. Are there any resources/talks from you which could guide me on how we can safeguard kids in such situations.

    Sanity

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 29, 2017

      Hi Sanity,

      the greatest resource I can ever grant you for your children and your situation is to encourage you to heal yourself.

      Sanity, please come into one of my free workshops: http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar and start there. Because when you get to experience Quanta Freedom Healing, then you have the fastest track method possible to detox him from your Being, take your power back and be the influence of solidness and inner wholeness that your children will join you with and emulate.

      There is no more powerful way to deal with what you are going through.

      Mel xo

  • N/A@HOTMAIL.COM'
    F
    July 28, 2017

    Hi Mel

    I hope it is ok to post here, I’m not sure how else to contact you.

    Firstly, thank you so much for NARP. It has given me a much better quality of life. I was a lifelong co-dependent that attracted endless narcopaths in every area of my life, and have been able to massively heal that via your programme.

    I was wondering if I could seek your advice at this stage? I’ve been working NARP at least 4 times a week, sometimes multiple times a day for 13 months. I was discarded this time last year by the narc ex. The programme has helped me release the resentment and bitterness around the breakup, and I honestly do not feel anything negative towards him at this stage. I am completely neutral /at peace with everything thanks to NARP.

    I’ve struggled with resentment and anger/ bitterness towards my avoidant father and my Psychopathic mother. NARP has helped me get 40 % there with reaching a point of feeling ‘neutral’ towards them, and that part of my past. Overall, I’m doing good and thriving. To give you an idea of how far I have come – I wasn’t even functioning this time last year (in depression, agoraphobic for months).

    So the main reason I’m writing today, is because I am struggling with a specific area of my life that won’t get ‘unstuck’ with repetition compulsion. I’ve tried to make some new friends in recent months, and am perpetually rejected. I imagine that this has something to do with my abandonment issues from my upbringing, but I’ve worked really hard on this! I find that people pursue friendship with me, and then disappear out of the blue months later and never contact me again/ don’t respond etc. This is particularly hurtful, as some of them are people I met from a narc abuse support group I set up. I understand that it is normal to experience toxic people etc, and that provides the opportunity to learn boundary setting etc. I have managed to do this successfully with 2 workplace narcopaths since starting NARP. But the repetition compulsion is relentless with ‘friends’. I don’t mind spending time solo, working on my mind via NARP and other healing and body, but I feel like my life will be spent solo forever given the pattern of the past year. Is it normal to work on a ‘charge’ for months on end, and nothing to change?? Any advice would be most welcome J

    Thanks so much!!!

    Flora

  • laurie5@hotmail.co.uk'
    LC
    July 28, 2017

    Hi Mel, thanks for these videos I really appreciate the loving stance you promote compared to some of the other recovery forums it is a much better way heal. I have a question about shifting – it seems to be causing physical symptoms every time I connect with inner traumas. I’ve released a lot and seen my relationship with my ex and my perspective on life change completely but I still have work to do and I have a lot of fear that it’s going to make my health worse. I am getting medical care but I just wondered – is it common for shifting to have negative physical effects? And in the case where it seems to be making things worse, why do you think this could be? Thanks

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      July 29, 2017

      Hi LC,

      you are so welcome and I love that you resonate with the difference!

      Please know questions about NARP can be beautifully coached in the NARP Forum, where we can work with you diligently to get the shifts / changes that you need: http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/member

      To get you started on this one, the answer is this: target THAT fear – go to it and shift it and then there simply won’t be the physical kick back.

      That is your solution that we can work with you closer in the NARP Forum if you need more!

      I hope this helps.

      Mel xo

  • Susanna_smith@btinternet.com'
    Margaret
    July 29, 2017

    My father’s funeral took place today. All our old family friends made the trip. BUT I’ve been demonised for many years by my ‘Golden Child’ youngest sister. Who has not only spent everything my parents had, but now will inherit their house. My mother died 2 years ago and within a week, my sister took my grieving elderly and devoted father to her best friend’s solicitor husband to revoke the Deed of Trust which would have provided us with a small inheritance.

    None of that matters. What mattered and broke my heart was friends family treating me like an outcast. God knows what she’s told them. She’s been very thorough. But I’m fine. I found Dad’s diary read it this evening and I’m on every other page. I’ve realised she must have known how deeply both my parents loved me and its driven her quietly crazy. So I sat in the car watching this triumphant witch roaring with laughter and thought “Dad’s died… do you realise how deeply vulgar and vacuous you are?” Because nothing touches a narcissist. Her speech in church only concerned herself, she kept tripping up by using pronouns… “my father, me me me”, Nothing and no one is real. I’ve cried. Last time she cried was at a parish council meeting trying to prevent her neighbour’s building an extension which would spoil the view.

    How are people taken in? Do they realise what sad fools they are? dads with God, and so is Mum. God knows the truth and in death they’ll know it too. They’ll know my heart.

  • mjhazell@yahoo.com.au'
    Marg
    July 31, 2017

    Hi Melanie
    I have watched many of your videos, thank you for helping me understand and so defend and protect my sanity from what has been going on in my life.
    I am still going through disgusting ongoing abuse from my ex of 8 years. I have over the last 19 months come into my own awakening as to what drives him. I have taken back my power and that has caused issues of its own as he then turned to our children.

    Parental Alienation, I didn’t even know what that meant until 19 months ago. Fortunately our youngest 13 seems to not be drawn in by it but our 18 year old is completely under his spell and has become weaponised toward me.

    How do you protect yourself from someone who you cant just simply shut out. I know that it took me 19 years before I found the strength in myself to leave him and this is their father, who has so much influence. I cant just walk away and say well you are on your own, because I know first hand the things that he will be going through. The difference is I never hurt anyone else as I was being used and my son is so hurtful toward me. We used to have a great relationship then, (although it would have been years in the making) all of a sudden was ripped away from me in order to punish me for standing up for myself, for no longer buying into everything that once kept me down.

    I am honestly in such a great place now and i am genuinely a happy person except for this one thing.

    I keep telling myself that eventually he will see the truth, but at what cost to him? This will have so many knock on effects as he already has depression.
    It is just such a sick and vile person that can do this to their own child and of course – accuse me of being manipulative and abusive.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      August 2, 2017

      Hi Marg,

      You are very welcome 🙂

      My heart goes out to you – this is such a painful thing to bear …

      Please know in regard to our children I have created many resources to help with them – including when a division occurs between us and them.

      You can google my name + children and you can read / listen to many of them. Also in my free webinar http://www.melanietoniaevans.com I talk about a lady named Dot who turned around child-aleantation that had been going on for over 30 years.

      You can watch that presentation here: http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar

      I hope this can help.

      Mel xo

  • renaisman7@aol.com'
    Michael
    July 31, 2017

    Dear Ms. Evans,

    On 12/1/2014 after 8 years of living with a woman who turned out to be a truly vicious narc/sociopath, I moved out to an apartment. While I was at work, she had brought home a gigantic young lover who has an intense criminal past, including 8 years of incarceration for attempted murder (I’m a former police detective). I was devastated. I have found great healing solace in your various posts and advice and forums.

    I have one question. She continues, periodically, to contact me (she even buys disposable phones so I don’t recognize the numbers) and she uses co-workers phones as well. I have steadfastly maintained no contact for almost eight months after being hoovered numerous times before that. My question is, do they ever stop? Does there come a point when she stops trying to contact me? I’m much better, much stronger, but I’m still fragile. I’m a master portrait painter and a novelist and a saxophone player. I’ve finally gone back to the arts. But she just doesn’t stop . . .

  • Shinningstar.3381@gmail.com'
    Amie
    August 3, 2017

    Do you feel that narcissistic people will hang out with others that are narcissistic….
    Because I truly believe that my Husband is doing that right now…

  • shansson@optimum.net'
    Sarah
    August 7, 2017

    Hi Melanie, I just found your page and thank you for your healing insight about dealing with flying monkeys. I’m wondering how I can heal and deal with my 15 year old son who my soon to be ex husband has totally turned against me. My son doesn’t live at home with either of us as he is away at school I’m a different country. His father is from that country and although he doesn’t live there now he is over often for work. My son refuses to take my calls or answer my texts and going over to visit him isn’t an option since money is very tight. I am devastated and hurt by the few things he will text or say to me saying I’m ruining our great family etc. Obviouslt he was around for 14 years of our marriage and was privy to all the fights, abuse and so forth. He used to have a love/hate relationship with his father when he was living at home with us but has completely compartmentalized any of that and now sees his father as all good in every way. I love my son so much and know eventually his father will reveal his true self but I cringe to think of the pain everyone is going to have to go through in the meantime. We have two younger daughters as well that are basically forgotten by their father most the time unless he needs to appear the perfect father and does something with them. I know I have hostility and anger I need to let go of for my own healing to occur. I just don’t know how to react to my son.

  • Sac081392@gmail.com'
    Alexurr
    October 24, 2017

    I have been told my parents are narcissistic and that they have caused me pain.i was informed by a professional and they denyied the allegations. Insisting I was the root of all the pain and tumultuous term oil residing in my home. I have tried to vent my worries and trauma to certain family and painted me to be evil and the one in the wrong. My mother constantly tells others her story of being wronged but never admits to what she does wrong and shames me for anything her grubby overeating hands can drudge up to drum up sympathy for herself. I have suffered from an eating disorder for decades and she’s twisted my whole family around her fingers to sooth her inner demons leaving me as a tatget when she vents about her sorrows. At times exclaiming she does not know what to do or how to support me ; contrary to her claims I have told her so many times but I fear she only cares for what would benefit her and her external persona.. how can I rid myself of my emotionally draining sucubus of a mother..

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *