There is a deep, insidious, and invisible connection that exists when youโre attached to a narcissist.
Youโve probably felt like their voice is inside your head โฆ itโs weird and creepy and can last for years, even decades. Itโs a surprisingly strong connection that seems impossible to shake.
Please take my word on this: for you to sever this energetic tie you need to understand how the narcissist โ no matter who they are in your life โ is stealing your energy and Life Force by feeding off you like a parasite.
It sounds crazy, but I know this is true because Iโve seen the evidence over and over and Iโve lived it myself.
In todayโs Thriver TV episode, I dive deep into how this energetic tie works and how you can dissolve it so you can recapture your joy, inspiration, motivation, and purpose in life.
Join me in the video to find out more.
Video Transcript
Today, I want to talk to you about the deepest, most insidious connection to a narcissist. Many people don’t work out what it is because it’s not necessarily about the children, the property or the finances โ it goes much deeper than that.
Rather, it’s the connection you can’t even see. It’s the psychic connection. A psychic connection with a narcissist is like being taken over by some vile, psychic disease. It feels like black ink running throughout your being, like shards of ice through your veins, and a constant haunting of this person in your head even as you sleep. And an unshakable feeling like your Life Force is being sucked out of you.
It’s weird, it’s creepy, it’s terrible, and it can make it feel literally impossible to break free, get your sanity, your Soul and your life back so you can rebuild your life.
In my opinion, and with what I’ve seen over the last 15 years in our Global Recovery Community, this is the hardest of all ties to break. There are many people that are 30 or 40 years on who haven’t even seen the narcissist for that amount of time, and they are still plagued by them. The truth really is this โ the battle that you’ve been in with a narcissist โ it’s not logical, it’s a spiritual battle. It’s a spiritual war literally for your Soul.
The Narcissist Is A Psychic Vampire
To understand this battle, it’s important to really understand that the narcissist is a psychic vampire. As hard as it is to accept this, this might help you understand that narcissistic supply is about stealing another person’s energy so that the narcissist can sustain their own Life Force.
The metaphor of vampires, this myth, is actually based on narcissism โ vampires needing human blood to survive because they, in the myth, are the living dead. Narcissists, similarly, are empty black holes, they’re disconnected from Source Energy, therefore they don’t have a higher power energy that’s filling them up. They’re empty. They’re like an empty, dark Soul, and they literally need to feed off other people’s energy.
Another metaphor that you could use is a black hole in space which is gobbling up other celestial bodies, yet no matter what it gobbles up, it stays as a black hole. It’s insatiable.
Here it is. Narcissists get feeds off of people’s Life Force even years later. This is all going on in the unseen energetic world. Even if this person has not had any physical contact with the narcissist for decades, if you still think about the narcissist, if you’re obsessing about them, feeling like they’re still living on inside of you and that their voice is in your head, then you still have psychic chords in you and the narcissist is feeding off your Life Force.
How do I know this to be true? Because over the years, with people who are in the NARP program and with personal clients, I’ve seen the evidence of this over and over again. When people get free of the narcissistic inner chords, when they do the inner work, the Quantum inner work to free themselves from that, what happens is they can be contacted by the narcissist out of the blue even after decades. It can happen immediately. It doesn’t always happen, but it’s happened enough times that it is absolutely not a coincidence.
I’ve had it happen to clients during the actual healing (when it happens). The message comes straight through because when the energy chord is released, when the connection is cut, the narcissist feels the drop in the connection (the narcissistic supply) and they can reach out to try and get it reinstated.
You may ask do they logically know this is happening? Are they conscious of it? Probably not. It’s probably more unconscious and intuitive when it happens.
If a student client, who’s doing the Quantum inner work, keeps cleaning up and out, even if the narcissist tries to re-hook, the narcissist doesn’t succeed, they get free of the feelings and of these people and their psychic terrorism. The feeling of the narcissist living under their skin starts dissolving away, and then they get their mind back they also feel an incredible resurgence of Life Force coming back, which includes joy, inspiration, motivation, and purpose. That was absolutely my experience as well when I broke free from those inner psychic ties.
How Do Parasites Attach?
To understand this more, I’m going to really explain this to you in a way that I hope you can understand. It’s about parasites and how they attach. Now, let’s get clear about this. Narcissists are parasites, they’re parasitical, and they attach themselves to hosts in order to get a feed. They could have many hosts going at once.
How do parasites get into people’s systems? They do it through toxicity. Now, if you’ve ever done a parasite cleanse, which is a great idea to do, you would know that to get rid of parasites, you need to cleanse yourself, you need to detoxify. Parasites are physical critters and they go after things like toxicity in your being, which we get from sugar, junk food, heavy metals, etc. If you’re doing a cleanse, you’re reducing and releasing your toxins. If you then eat organic alkaline type foods and you drink filtered, healthy water, it’s going to make your inner environment very unappealing to parasites because they actually thrive in acidic, toxic conditions.
How can we apply this same theory to psychic vampires? By understanding what toxic emotions are. Our toxic emotions that are trapped inside of us and our traumas are the narcissist’s food that they psychically attached to and they’re feeding off. That’s what dark entities do; they go after painful, fearful energy. It’s their food. This is our unhealed traumas, our despair, feelings of unlovableness, our unresolved losses, heartbreaks, feelings of victimization and, in fact, any negative emotional states that we’ve not released and shifted upwards from โ that we haven’t healed to completion.
It’s really interesting, of course, that when we are stuck in toxic, emotional, internal trauma that we absolutely do the things that are also unhealthy, such as drink alcohol, smoke, eat bad food. We can have sugar addictions, and we indulge in other habits that increase the toxic load emotionally and physically. Making us incredibly susceptible to physical and psychic infiltration from parasites and from external narcissistic people as well as parasitical critters. It’s all a vicious cycle.
The most important detox of all time, in my humble opinion, is the psychic one on the emotional body โ those inner traumas. Because when you get better on the inside emotionally, you just naturally do better. It’s very simple. You start to choose better food, lifestyle and people.
How Do You Detox Psychically?
How do you detox psychically? It’s a really important question. Now that I have explained to you what is really going on, I hope it resonates with you and I hope it makes sense.
I want you to realize that if you are merely doing tie cutting visualizations, which a lot of people do spiritually, you are going to need to keep redoing and redoing and redoing them because it’s not enough if you don’t clean up the inner emotional toxicity of those inner traumas and triggers. If you don’t clean them up, well, then the tie cutting visualization is only a bandaid that’s going to keep falling off.
I would love to show you how to durably and truly clean up this inner toxicity so that you can effectively exorcise and cast out the narcissist from your body, from your mind and go totally free from their psychic ties because when you do that, your involvement with them becomes like a memory of a memory. It’s like it happened to somebody else.
By getting this done, not only will they fade away into the background but so will all of your narcissistic abuse syndrome symptoms. Your Life Force won’t be stolen anymore and you won’t be susceptible to parasitical, narcissistic infiltration in the future.
In Conclusion
If this makes sense to you and you want to learn how to do this effectively, I’d love you to come into my free two-part Masterclass because I’m going to explain the deeper truth about all of this and show you the process, Quantum Freedom Healing, which gets this done faster and more directly than you could possibly imagine.
I really hope that this episode has helped. Check out the link for my two-part Masterclass here.
Dear Melanie!
This is such a great topic! I mentioned earlier in response to your video that letting go of the energetic ties and psychic connection to the narcissist has really been problematicalโฆThat I had also discovered something very important and so helpful in a recent visit with my acupuncturist. I donโt want to sound redundant by repeating anything hereโฆI just want to thank you againโฆthe truth is that the real letting go of these horrific ties and connections has become easier especially when I listen to you and follow you faithfully, (thankfully) and that letting go and doing the inner healing work of NARP is CONSISTENTLY much more possible while applying NARP principles and using the Modules! The other modalities and techniques seem to only give me temporary relief however, after four years of doing NARP I see gradual, persistent, and healthy changes in me and thatโs exactly what I need! Thank you Melanie, if it wasnโt for your constant messages, and I really mean this, I wouldnโt be where I am at right now or even be able to understand what I need to do for my life on this earth, especially, for my life after being abused for years by a narcissist and now having a growing and urgent need to heal and recover ๐ฑ Your message is a gift for all of humanity! Thanks, Melanie! Lots of love! โค๏ธ๐ฆโค๏ธ
Itโs true, the trauma bond can be broken. They never mean what they say. Iโm healing, eating healthfully and exercising more.
My mother passed away on Christmas eve. Years ago, I beggedr her to leave my father, knowing that she was living in misery and my father was sucking the joy of living right out of her.
Not knowing any better, I fell into an abusive relationship that left me bankrupt, homeless and no job prospects. Watching Melanies videos years ago and becoming a Thriver, things turned around for me big time. Quantum healing really works…….similar to quiting smoking, sometimes remembering the abusive Narc returns like a craving for a cigarette. After you have done the work, this feeling vanishes quickly.
My mother was as classic victime of Narcisstic Abuse Syndrome. She died a shell of her former youthful self. I learned about NAS well into my healing journey. Sadly, it was to late for my mother.
Whith all my heart and soul, I recommend all Thrivers to really look into what NAS is.
Once you get a grip on the leathal side effects, you will never want to go back to the life you escaped. As always, I thank the universe for Melanie and her life mission to help us all.
I was just thinking about this same topic this week! Iโd love the communityโs thoughts on this:
When you heal enough where the N knows they canโt even get close to you since youโre so full of light (fly too close to the sun and you get burnt!), the N can try to get a reaction from you through proxies – even if those people barely knew the N! The N has to try to find a roundabout way to get supply from you because they know they canโt do it directly. I mention this because recently, two people (my stepmom and a co-worker) have randomly mentioned the N out of nowhere. The more I healed, the less of a charge there was around it, until it got to zero. I now find this desperate grasp for supply totally hilarious, now that Iโve been working with MTE programs! An added bonus: I now know that if my stepmom or co-worker ask about the N again, itโll be great boundary setting practice for me to say that I will not discuss the N, period!
Hi Thriver For Life,
truly it is about “shifting that” and having wonderful boundaries and then even the proxies can’t infiltrate.
N’s without”the feed” from you, do and must take their behaviour elsewhere.
You have got this – you’re doing great and totally are on course!
Mel ๐๐๐ฆ
Hi Melanie,
Can you please advise which module are the most powerful for this?
When I was at a low point recently during my healing journey and I went to pick up my child from my (narcissist) ex I had a bad feeling of โinfiltrationโ going down his road. On arrival he cornered me in my car with a lot of garbled hoovering but I felt trapped, paralysed and actually unable to speak. – very powerful feeling.
Thank you for opening my eyes to a different way to heal.
Hi Jan!
I found module two, six and nine to be really helpful when it comes to releasing the energetics and psychic ties to a narcissist! I hope they can help you! ๐๐ป
Hi Jan,
I always love either Module 1 or the “Source Healing and Resolution” Module for something like this that crops up…
Please also know incredible coaching and training with your Module work goes on in the NARP member’s Forum – which can help you so much, in much greater detail. http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/member
I hope that this helps
Mel ๐๐๐ฆ
Hi Jan,
when you are ever in doubt the Source Healing and Resolution Healing is as powerful as anything …
Modules 6 and 9 are also for what you are asking about.
Love and healing to you and please know how welcome you are.
Mel ๐๐๐ฆ
HI Melanie
So articulate and thorough. I wonder though about the umbrella term “a Narcissist” I’e spent time with someone who i could say has all those traits you mention in the video the Phenomena of Narcissistic abuse. Yet i wouldn’t categorise her only as this. she has many thing going. symptoms of Borderline Personality, grown wounded child. But the element in her that was the most toxic is the Narcissistic streak. It was what destroyed everything. and yes that vampiric metaphor is one i have thought of as well.
please please please block them, if you ate blessed enough not to have children with them, just cut those available ties !!
*are
As ever – so helpful. Thank you and thank you again. It’s an ongoing process – and detoxing psychically and emotionally takes an everyday focus.
Its my pleasure Vicky,
blessings to you!
Mel ๐๐๐ฆ
If they’ve earned (Na) the energy by sucking, and the law of energy is preserved, then where they spend their energy’s savings? Are there some people whom that situation making warm ( energy benefit) ? For example, childern are escaped from a victim to a perpetrator, why ? ; at the reality of ocean of energy. And If there is viable that a victim is becoming a perpetrator for h past sucker ?
Whilst I am no longer reliving my narcissistic experiences so much after EMDR the problem is now that all of the prior experiences that were damaging to my self esteem and that left me feeling like a victim with similar dynamics and messaging are now flooding back to me and I can’t seem to stop trying to think my way out of it as it was a toxic work experience. I also have complex trauma from unhealthy family dynamics and being bullied through my school life as I had the sitting duck syndrome etc. Can your program help with other experiences that have been difficult in our lives as well? Is this a common theme when you get out of narcissistic abuse your traumas from other experiences prior jump up to the surface as well as the shock of coming out of high level abuse?
Hi Mind blown,
NARP clears up this residual trauma – ANY traumatic events in our life.
Truly … Absolutely this is normal – but you need a tool that can load up the trauma, release it and then reprogram it with Source.
I want you to have more than hope … http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp
EMDR did not get me to the other side either.
Mel ๐๐๐ฆ
great article. Thanks Melanie. As I was reading your articles, one of the narcissists saw me reading about narcissists. Not only did they get extremely angry, they also got jealous that I was reading about narcissistic abuse. They seemed to be jealous of you in particular. (that I would put importance on someone outside of them). They begin to mock that I was interested in reading about your work. And they acted out in rage towards NARP. LOL. These narcissists are predictable, and extremely insecure. They don’t bother me in the same way they use to. I am learning to have compassion for them. But I still find it fascinating that they can be so manipulative in some ways, but also extremely unaware in other ways. They truly don’t get it. I have noticed that you can easily unravel them. All you have to do, is ignore them. And they go into a predictable rage or they start up with their antics. I have cut many psychic bonds with them. I have more to cut, but that is ok. I will. I just don’t see them as my equal. And I don’t mean that in a superior way, but I mean that in a way, that they are not healed. They have all the potential in the world to be a healed self. This is why my compassion for them is growing, because they sacrifice gold for pennies. (ie. they sacrifice their very soul for temporary feelings of superiority) I am healing and I want everyone to know it is possible. And even though I have setbacks etc, I am still so happy with my particular journey. And yes, I have no shame about my journey, I accept it as is. Sending love and light to everyone. And hoping that we can all put our energy towards ourselves & towards connecting with a higher power. I say God, but I suppose you can call that higher power whatever you want.
Hi Molly,
it is a beautiful life when any of this becomes “not your reality”.
There are so much more sane, healthy and fulfilling people and things to enjoy!
Mel ๐๐๐ฆ
Dear Melanie,
Thank you for your genuine concern &love & for your wonderful articles. What advice would you give to a 72 year old woman, who has never been alone, but has suffered narcissistic abuse for 46 years. I need to leave and thought I could, but now realize at my age I probably never will. Maybe others feel this way as well. Thank you, Jeannie
Hello my question was going to be this; my Narc behavior stepson finally for some reason remembered my birthday after 18 years. Prior to this he did not acknowledge it only when my husband would remind him. He is 28 years old with a wife who has driven myself and husband away. He lives with her and her parents with a one year old daughter we donโt see. According to his wife we are 4rth in line to visit if they feel like it. So we detached. Motherโs Day is coming and I feel for some reason he will try to text me again to wish me a โ happy Motherโs Day followed by I love you which I donโt believe to be true. He and she both constantly remind my husband how he never does anything for them and I can assure we do because it is myself who purchases all the gifts, plans and cooks all the dinners we invited them to, snacks, bridal shower, baby shower, wedding gifts, a separate wedding party (because my husband refused to be at thier parents home for the wedding there as his x wife was a terrible narc. He had to go no contact with her) money for college, medical insurance, clothing, ect. Many times I sacrificed what I wanted in order to get what he needed because his own mother wouldnโt. So I am offended to say the least of what a selfish little basturd he is a what a โbโ his wife has been.
I wanted to tell him something like he doesnโt have to bother with the text messaging as he we donโt really have a relationship anymore but I am realizing maybe my best response is none at all.? Thank you for this site it has helped me greatly. ๐โค๏ธ๐ซ
Hi Ami,
please know how welcome you are and welcome to our lovely community.
Yes, the best response is none, and then turn inwards to heal.
Have you looked at NARP http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp ?
It will help you so much
Mel ๐๐๐ฆ
How do you make a narcissist partner leave when they have nowhere to go nor do they have a job because family has turned their back on them and there disrespect for authority prevents them from keeping a job
Hi Lisa,
you just kick them out.
This person is NOT your responsibility, your own soul is your responsibility.
Don’t worry about this person, they are a parasite and pretty resourceful at sucking people in.
Lean in to YOU.
Mel ๐๐๐ฆ
I now see that when my husband can not break me down he goes to other people to fight me and tear me down. He always has someone else he con fides in to agree with him about me being a horrible person. The supply for him never ends.