There are so many losses after narcissistic abuse. It can be daunting to lose yourself, your health, family and friends as well as resources and finances.
Today, I share how to rebuild your self, health, important relationships and financial prosperity after narcissistic abuse.
Regardless of how old you are, how damaged you feel, how much you have lost and even if you believe that recovery and rebuild is impossible.
I promise you it is possible when you know how.
Video Transcript
Losses are extreme with narcissistic abuse.
Loss of health, life force, resources, prosperity, and the energy, inspiration and hope to go forward and generate a new future.
I know how devastating this is, and I promise you I’ve been there on all these levels.
However, I want you to know there is a way to rebuild your life after narcissistic abuse. Myself, and so many others in this Thriver Community have achieved this spectacularly, against all odds and even despite so-called unhealable medical diagnoses.
By watching this video hopefully, I can inspire you to know that there is a wonderful life available for you after narcissistic abuse, no matter how much you have lost.
Today, we are going to look deeply at the different losses and how you can rebuild from them.
But before we do, I’d like to thank all of you who have supported the Thriver mission by subscribing to my channel. If you haven’t yet, please do. Also make sure that you hit the like button, and if you enjoy this video, share with others who you know it can help.
Okay so on to this episode!
Loss Of Self
After narcissistic abuse it is usual to feel like you’ve lost your life-force and your well-being.
You may even believe your life is over, and can’t imagine what it would feel like to be normal or healthy again.
Of course, initially we want things to change in our circumstances, such as the narcissist to be held accountable, or for some good fortune to turn everything around, or even for a wonderful person to come into our life to pick us up and save us from all of this trauma and devastation.
Maybe you just want to wake up from the nightmare that has become your life.
But the truth is no one is coming, and your Inner Being, which is the foundational basis of your entire life, is waiting for you to turn inwards and be your own rescuer.
And of course, initially you feel like you don’t have the health, sanity or inner resources to save yourself.
Yet, the total irony is we can’t recover and rebuild ourselves until we do turn inwards with the intention to be our own saviour.
In fact, it’s crucial.
And the reason it is, is because it puts you back inside your body.
You may think that the anxiety, depression and trauma is a result of what has happened to you. Yes it is, however, it is continuing and not being resolved, if you don’t turn inwards to meet these conditions and heal yourself back to wholeness.
That is exactly what self-partnering is about, and it is the very first essential step of Thriver Recovery. In fact, it’s what the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program (NARP) is all about – learning how to turn inwards to find, load up, and release all of the trauma that is generating your trauma and abuse symptoms, and replacing this with your Highest Source, which creates the shift to heal you.
This process can’t happen without self-partnering.
As a result of self-partnering, you will organically start shifting into the knowing that you are lovable and worthy, and as an adult capable of generating your own security and survival.
This is when the prior abuse trauma from the narcissist and the narcissist’s attempts to derail and terrorise you will all melt away.
I promise you that these capacities don’t come from outside of you, they need to be healed up from inside of you.
By doing so you will evolve beyond the fractures, trauma, and anxiety of having handed your power away to abusive people who did not have your best interests at heart.
Loss Of People
Inevitably, as a result of narcissistic abuse, relationships in your life may get smashed to pieces.
It is horrifying how narcissists have the ability to smear you, discredit you and turn people in your life against you. You may have lost family members, friends, associates and maybe even been alienated from your own children.
I know that this is beyond cruel, and my heart goes out to you if you have experienced these dreadful things.
And I really want to inspire you to know that staying stuck in the terrible trauma and victimisation will only mean that these circumstances can’t shift in your life.
It is completely understandable why you would be stuck in these feelings, and I totally validate you in that place, but there is a much more effective solution and way to deal with this.
With myself, and so many other people that I have helped achieve true healing with NARP, we discovered that when we released the trauma of these terrible injustices, smearing and alienation that we suffered, our Inner Being shifted, and then the outer started to shift to match this.
This is how powerful we are – we are Quantum Creators from the inside out.
People come back. The narcissist gets caught out. Loved ones return.
All sorts of miracles happen. I promise you this with all my heart.
There are numerous people in this community who have been reunited with people and their children who they were alienating from (some for decades), as a result of letting go of all the pain, resentment and heartbreak with NARP modules.
The complete and utter irony is, when you are at peace and only feel love in your heart without pain regardless of the outer circumstances, that’s when the outer circumstances powerfully shift.
This is the secret to changing our life, including our most important relationships. When we use Quantum Tools to achieve this, it becomes powerfully possible.
Health Losses
So many of us have been devastated by terrible health conditions as a result of narcissistic abuse. Trauma creates this. Eventually, not just your emotions break down, but also your physical being.
I know so many people, myself included, who were given shocking diagnoses as a result of the breakdowns of narcissistic abuse. So many of us were told that our emotional, adrenal, or mental breakdowns as well as PTSD, fibromyalgia, adrenal malfunctions and nervous system disorders, such as agoraphobia, could never be truly healed and at best, we could only hope to manage them with medication and strategies.
This is not true recovery; this is simply trying to exist with the trauma generated symptoms of abuse still active within you.
Now myself, and so many others, know that there is a true recovery solution for our abuse symptoms. Namely, releasing the trauma from within your Inner Being that is generating these symptoms.
When you do this, you allow well being to enter the space where the dis-ease once was, and you have the ultimate potential to get well.
Maybe, even more well than you have been in your entire life, even before abuse.
This is the resurrection that is totally possible for you … truly.
Myself and so many others have achieved this, fully. We no longer suffer any narcissistic abuse trauma symptoms.
Financial Losses
A big part of narcissistic abuse is financial abuse. It is a widespread devastation in this Community.
So many people ask, “How DO I get over the financial abuse?”, “How can I leave when I am financially dependent on the narcissist?” and “How will I ever rebuild my life again?”
Financial abuse can be a dreadful injury in our life, and I promise you it was initially a massive challenge for me. Originally, I just wanted to somehow get up off the ground and rebuild what I lost. But the more I tried to do that, without facing my inner healing, the more powerless I felt.
I just didn’t have what it took to get up and get going again, and I wasn’t meant to. Because the time had come where I needed to deeply investigate and heal the reasons why I had suffered such financial devastation at the hands of abusers.
Something incredible happened when I started to clean that up. I felt relief, I felt wholeness inside that was no longer reliant on me having to have a certain thing or be a certain way.
It was just an organic peace. And from that place, with newly formed and anchored-in belief systems regarding my ability to be a generator of prosperity, with all of the healthy components of life, I started to blossom.
I was able to start actualising a rebuild from complete and total financial devastation. Solutions and assistance came. Support came. Opportunities and synchronicity and even miracles started entering my life granting me the abundance that I was already feeling in regard to loving and accepting myself unconditionally, regardless of what I did or didn’t have in my life.
I have seen so many Thrivers in this community rebuild their lives financially after narcissistic abuse, as a result of releasing and healing their internal financial traumas with NARP.
Many of these people were in midlife and beyond. Some of them had not worked for decades, and were even left with zero finances or shocking debt as a result of the abuse.
Yet, they were able to come back in ways and timeframes that were astounding, once the trauma was released and Life Force, in abundance, was able to flow through them as them.
And I know, as a result of deeply working on your Inner Being with my Quantum Tools in NARP, that you will have exactly the same opportunity to turn it all around.
How Our Losses Are Deeply Interconnected
I completely and utterly believe that a relationship with self, health, others, and finances is all deeply interconnected.
To holistically become healthy, whole, self-generative and flourished and nourished by Life Force itself, as well as being able to abundantly expand and express our mission and purpose on this planet, all of these areas of our life require our inner attention.
These are the four areas that we commonly experience grave loss in as a result of narcissistic abuse, and the good news is that we can directly address them to heal them beyond description.
You see, there is an incredible radical compensation that occurs after narcissistic abuse, when we turn inwards, to claim and activate the healing of Self. What wasn’t right, resets to becoming healthier than we could ever imagine in our wildest dreams.
That is the Thriver Way!
And I can’t wait for this to be your Thriver reality as well.
If this is what you want for you, take the stand with me by pausing this video and writing below “It is my time to reclaim my self, soul and life!”
Okay, so now, you can check out my NARP program, that will activate deep healing for you, by clicking this link.
If you haven’t yet subscribed, I’d love you to please do it, so that you will be notified about each new episode when it is released.
Please also share this video with the people who you know have experienced terrible loss as a result of narcissistic abuse. The people who you know need hope and a solution.
And as always I look forward to answering your comments and your questions below.
I’m ready & I’m going to reclaim myself,life & my soul!
Hi Lamont,
that’s so awesome you’re ready!
Much love
Mel 🙏💕💛
I am going to get back my life and be myself again
The hardest what I’m getting stuck on is how to continue feeling knowing that my kids have been alienated for me
Hi Anne,
my heart goes out to you, that is so painful what you’re going through.
I hope that this resource of mine can help
https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/what-to-do-when-youre-alienated-from-your-child/
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💛
Hi Anne,
I, too, have been alienated from my son (19 years old). I haven’t spoken to him since before Christmas. Even if I send “I love you and am proud of you” texts. It’s been hard because I know that my ex has filled his head full of CRAP! I just watched the link Melanie sent you. . .I needed to hear that. I’m just going to keep working on myself.
I believe so much what Melanie says. . .WE WILL SEE OUR KIDS AGAIN!! I just know it!!
All the best to you,
Connie
Awww Connie,
please know Dear Lady there is more than hope.
So much love to you and your children. I’m holding the space for you and them to gloriously reunite.
Mel 🙏💕💛
And so it is Julie-Ann!
Much love
Mel 🙏💕💛
It is my time to reclaim my self, soul, wealth, youth and life!
Hi Lele,
Gorgeous declaration!
You have so got this!
Much Love
Mel 🙏💕💛
It is my time to reclaim my self, soul and life!
It’s so is Stephanie,
Power to you!
Love and blessings to you
Mel 🙏💕💛
Thank you Melonie for another great show ,at the moment I fell in losing my mind and the will after walking away from my family home because of my husbands narcissistic abuse and manipulative behaviour I’m list broken nominated I follow you daily and hioe I will survive this mess and heartache thank you melonie xxnellie
Hi Noelle,
It’s my pleasure I am sending you strength and healing.
I’d love you to check out my free webinar http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar to experience a Quanta Freedom Healing, to feel what it can do for you.
Much love
Mel 🙏💕💛
It’s time to reclaim my self Soul and Life
It’s so is Scott!
Many blessings to you
Mel 🙏💕💛
It’s time to reclaim myself, soul, health and life.
That’s great Robert!
Cheers
Mel 🙏💕💛
It is my time to reclaim my self, soul and life!
Hi Mariel,
That is so beautiful!
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💛
Since doing your course, everything is being restored, my Children and family and friends, my health and Peace and Finances better than before, it Really Works, thank you 🙂
Hi Col,
Wow Col, I am so thrilled and happy for you!
NARP totally does bring on restoration, healing miracle in every area of our life … If we do the work!
Thank you for sharing that with me, and so much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💛
Hi Melanie, all so very true. I was left devastated on every level in every way especially financially but miracles do occur when you do the inner work. Just last week I was contacted out of the blue from an insurance company and they have paid out two credit cards and a personal loan. I was gobsmacked! I had been contacted by them before and spoken with them before but i didnt believe I had grounds to make a claim. A very compassionate and understanding lady listened to my brief story and within days granted the claim. It was such a wonderful surprise. I hadnt expected it at all. But believe me it takes the pressure off. I can so relate to the ‘universe granting compensation’.. It feels like a miracle to me. I have been moduling around the sublject as issues arose and then bam!!! In it comes… so, so glad I found you and the forum…
Hi Robyne,
I am so thrilled for you dear lady!
I love the absolute miracles that start to drop into place when we do the inner work with NARP http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp
Bless you and keep up the awesome inner work.
So much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💛
it’s my time
It’s so is Selman,
Bless!
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💛
I have been enjoying the videos I have watched so far. I think it is my time and look forward to doing the NARP program. How long does it take a person to go through the program? Thank you Melanie for all you do for so many! You are such a beautiful soul.!❤️
Hi Danita,
I’m so great that they resonate with you.
Danita, NARP is a life tool that can forever be used to up-level your life from any restrictions, traumas and limitations that you have.
It is everybody’s individual experience as to how long it takes you to work through the modules. For example, you may find that if you are diligent and do daily healing, that some modules you will be able to move through very quickly, and others you may be many days or even weeks working on them. And, also you will discover that as deeper layers of trauma emerged, that you could be revisiting modules more than once.
Everybody’s journey is very personal Danita.
Suffice to say that within six months, most people’s lives as a result of working with NARP are completely unrecognisable!
I hope this helps explain
Much love and please know how welcome you are, and thank you for your beautiful words!
Mel 🙏💕💛
I left my abusive partner 18 years ago. But The abuse continued through my children and, I now realise, through my own lack of self esteem and self worth. In desperation a few months ago I found you and everything has changed. The peace and love I have found is unbelievable and is organically spreading out to my loved ones. I am using your programme almost every day to tackle old fears in new ways and the results are both amazing to me …and liberating. I am now trying to find a way to introduce it gently to my adult daughter who has inevitably suffered also. I can’t recommend your programme (and your spirit…) enough to anyone who has found themselves trapped in the awful narcissistic web of confusion….freedom is possible. Thank you so much. Nickie xx
Until I started following the steps in You Can Thrive After Narcissistic Abuse I thought I knew how to deal with the trauma, but I didn’t. I had merely taken baby steps, on my own and I couldn’t understand why I was struggling. I highly recommend the book. It’s worth every penny. The relief for me happened at Step 1. I’ve been reading Mel’s blog for years, but without what is in that book, I wasn’t truly ‘getting it’.
Hi Mara,
I am so pleased that my book http://www.youcanthrivebook.com has helped you so much!
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💛
It is my time to reclaim my self, soul and life.
Hi Sandra,
many blessings and breakthroughs to you!
Much Love
Mel 🙏💕💛
I’m in!
That’s awesome Kristan!
Much love
Mel 🙏💕💛
I am beyond ready! It has been so wonderful to have a voice, Melanie, that so all encompasses the journey of one who has suffered these things! It is a journey, and a tough one at times, but thank you for generating so much hope and giving us courage to move forward!
Hi Linda,
You are welcome and I am so pleased that I could help.
Many blessings and breakthroughs to you
Mel 🙏💕💛
It is my time to heal, reclaim myself, my confidence, my self love, my finances, my self belief, confidence and strength , my soul , my LIFE 💕🙏
Thank you Mel
What a beautiful affirmation Tanya,
it’s so is sweetheart!
You are so welcome Tanya and many blessings to you
Mel 🙏💕💛
Hi Melanie. I’ve gone through all the modules and found the inner work truly helps. However, I find myself wanting my ex husband back. I divorced him a year ago after 14 years of marriage and verbal abuse off and on to my children from a previous marriage. Not certain as to whether or not he is a narcissist, but he truly never cared about my 2 kids who are adults now. As any good parent, the cruel and hurtful words broke my heart and hurt me more than it hurt my children. I can’t understand how any man can profess to love a woman and not their children, but I feel so alone and continue to think of him daily even after your NARP program. Do I need more healing and why do I feel bad being divorced? I question and second guess myself for making him leave.
Hi Vickie,
Please know Dear Lady that NARP is a consistent journey. It’s certainly not a Course to just work through once. Yes, absolutely I recommend keeping doing the healings on what is so painful now and clearing These feelings.
Then it just won’t plague you anymore and you will be free to move forward.
If you need further help and support them please don’t hesitate to come into the NARP members forum http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp so that we can help support you.
I hope this helps
Much love
Mel 🙏💕💛
It is my time
And so it is Willi!
Much love
Mel 🙏💕💛
Hi Melanie,
What a deeply life- affirming article for those of us who have gone through death – or a relationship with a Narc.
A Resurrection to an entirely new version of ourselves is what we wake up to if we allow experience to fully transform us.
The pain was thinking we had to keep existing while knowing that we had died in every meaningful way. To try to live while dead.
But we are NOT trying to live while dead … That was before.
We’re NOT just getting “back to normal”. We’re NOT just fixing things up and shoving out the pain of the death that took place.
We’re NOT GOING BACK to anything that never existed anyway.
WE’RE GOING TO TRANSFORM. Not just a Resurrection of the same old person. A transformation to a BRAND NEW LIFE where real freedom and love and happiness and joy and rewards and satisfaction and LOVE reign.
(I see why your symbol is a butterfly. 🦋)
The butterfly probably doesn’t miss being a caterpillar.
We emerge from the process with abilities and insights that were invisible and inaccessible to the previous version. It is who we really always were and so we thank Narcs for helping us wake up .
And thank you for the supportive articles you keep producing. They are life-giving.
Hi Iris,
thank you and I’m so pleased this resonated with you.
100% this is a journey of transformation, and so about spreading our wings and flying and soaring.
It is completely true that as we are reborn we are a much more extended, improved version of self.
Thank you again Iris for the beautiful comment that you have beautifully shared, which is so life-affirming as well.
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💛
I read your book 12 months ago and picked it up once again to refer to how the narcissist pulls you back in. I watch in disbelief how for the 5th time my nac ex is pulling in another woman. There were 4 others in this story, two of us had properties and financial independance (we were not stupid enough to sell up) I was one of those. The other women were railroaded by his quest for being the ultimate in their life. I have sat on the sidelines watching and observing his actions to see his pattern over and over again. The current love of his life is in 6weeks deep, already he has isolated her from friends and working on her family as we speak. How so you tell someone that they are being abused??
Hi Maria,
This video of mine may help answer that question for you
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w6jS5WIl2Pw
Much love
Mel 🙏💕💛
I’m now Narcissistic Abuse free from my ex, who is now a traitor, marrying to another man, which violates the bible scripture Matthew 5:32. Sometimes i get stressed seeing a picture of my ex with her now second husband, in which, He’ll be the next victim, I guarantee it.
It is my time to reclaim my self, soul, life and finances!
Your blog has helped me tremendously, thank you!
This is so great Tammy,
I’m so pleased that I could help.
Many blessings to you
Mel 🙏💕💛
You are a true true inspiration Melanie. I just left my ex for about the fifth time and I’m scared I’ll go back again somehow cause I never wanted to be with him all other times we split. I’m scared I’m missing something and I have a four year old daughter with him. I always dreamed of having my own family but not with what I have to endure. I think I went back all other times was I was pregnant and thought things would work themselves out. I fear I may be too broken and should be put out to pasture with other broken or lame beings. I would love to never see him again but my daughter needs a dad.i can’t be with him,
He’s always saying let’s be friendly and what means is sex
Hi Karen,
Sweetheart I totally understand all of that confusion and thinking that you may have “missed something”.
I would love to invite you into my free webinar so that you can start accessing some clarity, relief and answers about all of this http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar
I hope that this can help
Mel 🙏💕💛
It is time to reclaim myself, soul, life and finances!
Thank you Melanie for bringing this healing into the world!
Hi Cindy,
that is wonderful!
It is totally my pleasure and much love to you.
Mel 🙏💕💛
It is my time to reclaim my self, soul and life!
That’s awesome Gigi,
much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💛
It is my time to reclaim my self, soul and life!
Thank you Melanie!
It is my time to reclaim myself, soul and life.
It is my right to claim myself,soul and my life
It is MY time to reclaim my time, my self, my soul, and my life!
Thank You Melaine
Cloud Woman
You’re crazy. I don’t know what space ship you arrived on but I have been soul raped and my entire support system (family & friends) aren’t even a safe place to go due to the narcissist. He won my child in court and although I’ve had moments where I’ve been able to see her, in order to do so has required me to pretend nothing ever happened and even then, my child is yanked away at any given moment for any reason (always irrational or unrealistic or even unreal) resulting in my failure to see or speak to her. My “support system” has abandoned me due to his manipulation and lies and I have nobody in my life who believes in me. I don’t know what space ship you have decided to board but this isn’t about “quantem” what the fuck ever. Nothing you say makes sense to
Someone ready to blow their brains out. Get real lady
You’re crazy. I don’t know what space ship you arrived on but I have been soul raped and my entire support system (family & friends) aren’t even a safe place to go due to the narcissist. He won my child in court and although I’ve had moments where I’ve been able to see her, in order to do so has required me to pretend nothing ever happened and even then, my child is yanked away at any given moment for any reason (always irrational or unrealistic or even unreal) resulting in my failure to see or speak to her. My “support system” has abandoned me due to his manipulation and lies and I have nobody in my life who believes in me. I don’t know what space ship you have decided to board but this isn’t about “quantem” what the fuck ever. Nothing you say makes sense to
Someone ready to blow their brains out. Get real lady and then the CHARGE poor people who have been through what you claim to have been through, your disgusting