Comments on: 7 Signs That You’re Being Manipulated And Groomed By A Narcissist

By: Jessica

Jessica — Thu, 14 Mar 2024 20:16:34 +0000

This is interesting because I believe I have been groomed my whole life. However I must say, with that being the case it’s difficult for someone who has only had that experience and example it’s easy to confuse a couple of the above signs and statements for instance, my mother groomed me and the only long term serious partner I’ve had (I’m 30). When I recognised what was happening I was very much in a bad position and had given my power away (basically at the mercy of others who had well and truly groomed me unbeknownst to me for many years…when I discovered what was happening I researched, did psychologically and retraining pattern corses and set out on a quest to find myself, peace and a real connection…people including myself at the start of all this don’t relies how ingrained such treatment becomes in our psyche. I thought I had it all boxed and labelled, I thought ok cool I know what it was and I know what I want going forward but the trouble was my history with the people closest to me in the world was an unhealthy one, and as much as I thought I had it worked out, I didn’t. I’m not narcissistic and I have questioned that before don’t worry haha! But I didn’t do anything in a smart manner and I went through absolute hell from naively and lack of perspective as I was isolated and didn’t know how to deal with my situation in a smart way. I also started dating again…I have never dated previously and was love bombed from the jump. I displayed some of the signs above due to it being the only love I have ever had displayed towards me. I meet someone I really liked (I may have been played, I still can’t tell even years later…I am a bit of a sucker) but anywho, as I mentioned I displayed some of these signs completely unaware of what I was doing and quite frankly blind to the fact that I was displaying red flags and projecting learned narcissistic behaviours.

“If they’re a decent, non-narcissistic person, they’re not going to hound you with messages.” – I had major anxiety and was used to games and having to fix everything I always felt the need to push and pull and guess and I read into everything as this was a way to trigger my guilt, the narcissistic relationships I dealt with often used silent treatment on me or would not communicate with me as a means to keep me in my head guessing and overthinking so that I would have to betray myself and bend over backwards to simply feel like I could breathe again 🧘🏼‍♀️ “They’re not going to ring you every time you’re out with other people. They’re going to grant you mature, healthy space.” -I really do believe this and tried my best to do, however I did ask for communication and explained the best I could that being ignored can trigger me. I tried to approach this the best I could I wouldn’t hear anything for a couple of days and I simply asked if needing space to simply let me know and keep me in the loop…however I’m not sure if that’s normal or ok hahaha.
“Now a narcissist, rather, when you try to retain your interest in your space, they’re going to try to guilt you and threaten you.” Oh god I hope I didn’t come off that way, I can be quirky and sarcastic at times lol. “They might even drop a bomb as if they’re going to stop pursuing you and go somewhere else because of the way you’re treating them or something ridiculous like that. Somebody kind and genuine is just going to grant you space.” I am guilty of knowingly playing games but in my defence it was not from want of games more of familiarity, sadly it was a toxic trait I had to get over and believe I have made good progress on this front…I played games out of fear, the push pull power plays often made in dysfunctional relationships.

Now…
Number Three – Over The Top Sentiments Of Love

Ok I’m totally guilty but this was not a grooming strategy for me,.. I’m a very receptive person I tend to be hyper aware of people and sensitive. I don’t fall in love easily. But I do get a instant feeling of interest when it comes to lovers, now this isn’t common for me I honestly don’t get this a lot maybe 3 times in my 30 years, as mentioned I am spiritual and I will get signs and synchronicity’s and things that I can’t explain but again this is not me trying to be toxic or force anything I accept my feelings may not always be reciprocated however I am a lover and I would rather express myself then play cool as I’m very forthright and believe if you genuinely have those feelings then share, I can handle rejection I’m a big girl I just hate confusion I’m a cards on the table girl who, yes despite my bad luck in love, believe in love at first sight and meant to be’s …and all that good mushy stuff, that’s not toxic to me that’s possible, it can happen…although I’m no fool and as a realest, I know such occurrences are EXTREMELY rare. I have always loved the people I love fearlessly…I think yes in cases this is indeed a red flag, in others it’s simply a feeling…

I feel like these are very true and solid characters to beware of..but I also know that I presented these traits to and it was due to being exposed and groomed to not thinking twice about it, I mean, I didn’t even recognise or register what was happening until it got so bad that I went looking for answers to what I was going through…you truely do have to learn how to love again, I hope I can fix all my broken bits and eventually know what a healthy connection feels like, until then I will keep working on myself, rebuilding from the aftermath and sharing to bring awareness when and where possible.

By: Erinee

Erinee — Wed, 08 Feb 2023 16:51:03 +0000

This is incredible content! I’m doing a keynote speech soon on trauma and compassion fatigue. As I was investigating men who prey on women who have experienced significant traumas from childhood (for a separate project) I came across your article. Great information! I’m sure you have and can help so many people who are confused and overwhelmed by predatory relationships! Thank you for your work!

By: 9 Ways Narcissistic Parents Groom Their Children To Accept Abuse – Awareness Act

Wed, 10 Aug 2022 18:42:52 +0000

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By: Healthy mature history

Healthy mature history — Thu, 08 Jul 2021 15:15:17 +0000

My husband’s ex is a narcissist. She used to call and hang up late at night, chase him into a store, try to latch on to his family years after they stopped going together. The last time they were together he felt something was off and he just knew he didn’t want to be there and the false veneer of cheer and popularity she strives for started to wear off yet again and a more sinister person emerged. He says it was like being in a tunnel with no light, everything just bleak and numb feeling. The minute he agreed to meet with her again everything started to go from bad to worse, darker or filthier despite the narc’s obsessive need to appear tidy. When he left he nearly got into a car accident that night as some motorcyclist threw beer bottles and cans at his car… just increasingly too crazy and felt like the hollowed out air of despair. Like he got a bit to close to the nucleus of the narcissist’s no self which is oddly connected to the other realms of emptiness and deprivation of industrial era coal miner poverty. That is the narcissist’s genetic and historical reality they covered up with lies, yet tried to dump onto others who get sucked into their crap or “displeases” them and feels the unfortunate dust and oiliness of their hatred and rage.

By: Sane

Sane — Thu, 08 Jul 2021 14:49:06 +0000

I’m at the level of development (have been for a few decades now) where I don’t dominate a conversation, especially in a room full of others who are part of the conversation. Ever take a class or go to a meeting at work and another student or coworker sucks all the air out of the room by yapping on and on and on and on and on while everyone else’s eyes are starting to glaze over and they begin to slump over in their chairs from lack of oxygen and depleted energy? And they communicate that way in person or by writing long winded diatribes full of nonsensical tangents involving woowoo ruminations and jump from topic to topic overtalking and over sharing, then throwing passive aggressive insults in there and a whole host of other rambling nutteries and accusations? Exhausting!

By: Joy Beckler

Joy Beckler — Tue, 25 May 2021 17:05:29 +0000

Thank you

By: CB

CB — Tue, 25 May 2021 16:36:53 +0000

This had me in tears because it brought up so much in my mind about all the power I gave up in myself to my narc spouse at the beginning of our relationship. It literally made me feel dizzy! Thank you for this video and for making all of us aware of the abuse they ensnare on us. I’m reminded that I need to take that power back, find myself again, and get back to pursuing a career for myself.

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Tue, 25 May 2021 01:37:09 +0000

In reply to Fifi.

Hi Fifi,

you have done a great job getting this far, and for setting a beautiful example for your daughter.

Please know never say never when you have healed enough within … truly!

The best is yet to come for you on this journey 🙂

Mel 🙏💞🦋

By: Fifi

Fifi — Mon, 24 May 2021 09:12:00 +0000

Hi Melanie. Thanks so much for your wisdom and insights, for the validation and clarity you’ve given me. I found you at one of the hardest, darkest times in my life, I felt i was drowning in quicksand. I fled my 16 year relationship, I was terfified, panicked, anxious but trying to be strong for my little girl and knew I had to get her out, and me, for our survival. He still occupies too much space in my head, as she has regular facetime contact and I’m steeling myself for the weeks she will be spending with him, under his influence in the Summer (she’s only 7). We haven’t been apart for more than 24 hrs before and that was rare. But looking back, there were so many red flags in the early days I ignored, or excused. I can’t regret the relationship or I wouldn’t have her, or learned about myself to this degree. I’m so much stronger, resilient, braver, and resourceful than I ever gave myself credit for. I still have a lot of work to do on myself, I’m much more cautious and guarded now, I need to learn to trust myself more, doubt myself less. Concentrate on myself, to be the best version of me, and be a good example to my girl. I don’t want her to make the same mistakes I did. I want her to know when to walk away and not tolerate anything she doesn’t deserve. Romantic relationships, I don’t see in my future though.