Comments on: 9 Steps To Defending Your Character When It’s Smeared By A Narcissist

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Fri, 29 Jul 2022 10:06:25 +0000

In reply to Anna.

Hi Anna,

It’s my pleasure.

Oh Anna, this is painful and terrible – you are right kids don’t make up stuff like that – they really don’t.

Anna I can’t encourage you enough to work with NARP http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp and join our incredible community where you will have support, learn how to work at this Quantumly, and address it at the Source level – which as far as I am concerned is the only way to fix, heal and get solutions with the unthinkable thing that narcissists do – it all starts by us getting the trauma out and Source light in – because where there was no way, support, truth and justice, all of that can enter and start to unfold.

In my expereince with helping people with narcissistic abuse, including the terrible things you are describing, there is no other way.

Sending love, support and breakthrough to you and your children.

Mel 🙏💞🦋

By: Amber Patch

Amber Patch — Thu, 28 Jul 2022 15:18:33 +0000

I’ve been away from my narcissistic ex husband for 14 months and I can attest that you will likely lose friends. It hurts but it’s not in your control what they think or do. I spoke with “close friend” who still seems to believe the best about my ex. I tried to explain, on a high level wht I left. Bottom line she, and others remain friends with my ex and have dropped me.

This is tough. I still cry occasionally but it’s getting better. I encourage anyone going through character assassination to put yourself out there and meet new people. It’s not easy but I can tell you it does get better.

By: Anna

Anna — Thu, 28 Jul 2022 10:54:45 +0000

Dear Mel,
Thank you so much for sharing all your knowledge and advice. It is so supportive and is helping so many people including me so much. I know that what you are saying in this article is right. I know I should and try to find the solution within myself. But I am struggling. With anger and hatred. Not for what he did to me, but to my daughter, and because I fear what the future will hold for her. The reason: A few months ago I found out that my ex-partner and father of my two young daughters has been sexually abusing my oldest daughter, who only just turned 4. It was only after we seperated that father started ‘grooming’ (as he himself calls it, and which he did admit to) the girls after bathing them (something we never did when we were together!) = putting baby oil on their skin. From what my daughter has disclosed to me, I am convinced that that evolved into him rubbing her intimate parts (which she liked and started asking for herself), and finally resulted into him putting his finger inside of her. Which hurt and made her cry when she went to the bathroom the next day and caused her to tell me what had happened. She was so sincere! Of course I know that 3-year-olds make up stuff. But this she did not make up. The problem is: father plainly denies it and everybody believes him. This good man, this esteemed psychiatrist (isn’t that a joke!?), this poor guy who gets wrongfully accused by his rancorous ex. That is how people respond and look at me! Unbelievable but true. I know this is the case because I failed terribly at numer 3, 4 and 5. I see and understand the dynamics, and know that I have to change myself in order for things to change. But the damage has been done, and I wonder: how do I learn to live with being 100% convinced that this man abused my daughter, asked her to keep ‘their special secret’ from me, instructed her to lie about what happened, and gets away with it, even making me look like the bad guy!? Before this happened, I was already on my way and really determinded to thrive again, being the one who cut it off and left because I could and would not take the abuse anymore. But now I feel so desperate again, and really don’t know how to handle the anger and fear I feel for my children. I look forward to your advice.

By: Faye

Faye — Sat, 14 Aug 2021 12:01:17 +0000

Beautiful Mel —- ❤️❤️❤️❤️

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Sun, 13 Jun 2021 23:43:15 +0000

In reply to Bia Jamison.

Hi Bia,

I am so pleased I can help.

Much love and healing to you

Mel 🙏💞🦋

By: Angelique

Angelique — Fri, 11 Jun 2021 19:55:26 +0000

I’m sorry but if my children ignored me for 32 years, I wouldn’t want them back. Way too much water under the bridge. Sometimes your kids become people you would have nothing to do with if they weren’t your children. If they have it in them to do that to their own mother for no good reason like you’re a criminal of some sort or you drink or do drugs, they’re not people you want in your life. I told mine I would have liked a relationship with them based on mutual respect and kindness but I’m no one’s punchbag or scapegoat. I also told them what I think of their behaviour and that I am done trying as all it does is generate abuse from them. I am getting on with my life like they’re never coming back. It’s not so bad the freedom is lovely, like a second youth and it’s not bothering me. Sometimes being fair to yourself means getting away from horrible people even your family members. There’s nothing there to miss and if you know in your heart you did your best and then some, it gives you peace. I only wish i’d done it earlier.

By: Bia Jamison

Bia Jamison — Fri, 11 Jun 2021 14:25:24 +0000

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again…your wisdom and kindness has given me peace that I never thought I could have. For that I am eternally grateful. You are a true light and a gift to all of us who suffer/ed/.

By: Gina

Gina — Fri, 11 Jun 2021 13:41:09 +0000

In reply to claudine. Claudine, this is what I’m going through also. It is HoRRIBLE and I need help too. Thanks for this comment.

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Thu, 01 Apr 2021 09:34:15 +0000

In reply to Hgegb.

I agree Hgegb,

If it feels uncomfortable and they can’t respect you saying this – then “goodbye!”.

Trust yourself and know healthy caring partners listen and care.

Mel 🙏💕💚