Comments on: A Narcissist Will Suck Your Life Force Out of You

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Sun, 03 Mar 2024 06:02:35 +0000

In reply to Ally.

Hi Ally,

big hugs to you – it is so tricky whilst still being connected, yet there is a way forward.

We have had thousands of people use NARP https://speedyshiftshappen.com/join-narp to heal whilst living with N’s.

They also are then in the best position to leave in empowered ways.

Once you are a member you also have the incredible support from our beautiful NARP Community. Many others who have been in your position and broken through.

I hope that this helps

Mel 🙏💞🦋

By: Ally

Ally — Sat, 02 Mar 2024 05:10:53 +0000

Hi, I am married to one of these life suckers. . . but unfortunately I am not in a position to leave any time soon. Am I still able to benefit from your program while being stuck in the belly of the beast?

By: Do You Really feel Unloved At Vacation Time? - Path2Positivity

Do You Really feel Unloved At Vacation Time? - Path2Positivity — Mon, 21 Nov 2022 01:22:55 +0000

[…] will turn into their object of the second, and the narcissist will begin exploiting them and siphoning them of life-force and […]

By: 8 Methods Narcissists Make You Lose Your self And Bond To Them - Path2Positivity

8 Methods Narcissists Make You Lose Your self And Bond To Them - Path2Positivity — Mon, 26 Sep 2022 22:48:08 +0000

[…] not what they’re after in any respect. These issues can occur, however they’re not after that. They’re after your life pressure, your soul and your stuff, in order that they’ll let you know no matter you need to hear and faux that […]

By: Elisa

Elisa — Wed, 20 Jul 2022 11:09:15 +0000

In reply to Teresa.

Here are some good youtube videos that I think are useful:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_BNBLmhAIjk&list=PLUkB05XT2ZvU0SZQrifrkqhzjSwcoXPn9&index=43&t=458s In this video, Jerry Wise talks about learning to not be invisible anymore -to ourselves. He also talks about how being a SELF raises our own anxiety, because were conditioned to be self less. And we need to change this first, and quit being invisible to ourselves first. Then, AFTER this, we can do boundaries, but it will be too much to do if you don’t bond with your self first. Otherwise setting boundaries will be too difficult.
These are also probably useful:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0FnuKmQxaxo&list=PLUkB05XT2ZvU0SZQrifrkqhzjSwcoXPn9&index=30
And…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJ_XGOk_UwM&list=PLUkB05XT2ZvU0SZQrifrkqhzjSwcoXPn9&index=24&t=1s
I think that the faulty beliefs brought up in these videos could be helpful as prompts when doing N.A.R.P.. As in, one could focus on the belief “I don’t deserve protection” and see what feelings pop up in your body etc
I also recommend Lisa a Romano’s book “Codependent: Now What?”. What is in it really complements Melanie’s programme. Romano gets into describing how we grew up disconnected from our inner feelings and experience. Something that NARP is focused on establishing and nurturing, like a reparenting process.

By: Elisa

Elisa — Wed, 20 Jul 2022 10:46:24 +0000

In reply to Nattie.

I’m definetly no expert. But I get the idea that you have fear if not of her then of confronting her.
Maybe find some way to work on this, NARP is great.
…Your story reminded me a bit of a part in Christiane Northrup’s “Dodging Energy Vampires”, where she talks about not inviting vampires in. …I had real troubles dealing with the emotional torture from my father, until I emotionally cut off from him. And I don’t think there was any other real option. I still physically am around him but i ‘grey rock’ him a lot and interact very little. It’s awesome. And there kind of is nothing really to mourn as there wasn’t a relationship there: he had made this decision for me. In Norhtrup’s book, she has a chapter on giving up on the narcissist. It totally resonated with me. …In a way, your sister is like my father, I think: toying with your feelings. It’d be great to give as few f#@s as possible about her and her reactions towards you. Then you will probably know instinctively how to deal with her.

By: Lizzie

Lizzie — Wed, 17 Mar 2021 16:24:03 +0000

In reply to RM. Wait, how do they do that? Do you mean in your dreams?

By: Jen

Jen — Fri, 05 Mar 2021 18:47:32 +0000

Melanie, you have literally helped me stay alive during this insane marriage I have been stuck in with my malignant socio-narc POS of a “husband”. There have been many times where I just wanted to die because of the abuse and not seeing a way out, or having anything left in me to take care of myself. You always seem to nail it right on the head, and at the very least have helped me to better understand the whys, how’s, and what’s next. You also help remind me that no matter how nasty or wrong or cruel someone can be, it’s still up to us to grow the hell up and take ownership of what we CAN do, which is take care of ourselves and set boundaries. Way easier said than done, but after practice and pulling yourself out of the mud, it gets a little easier.

By: Jen

Jen — Sat, 27 Feb 2021 19:16:38 +0000

Poignant and mitigating. I remain truly amazed, relieved and humbled by anything I read that is delivered through other sufferers, survivors and thrivers of narcissistic abuse. There is a measure of validation in finally being able to identify with those who share in the same mind-bending experiences. I had absolutely no idea what a narcissist was until I (and three kiddos) were able to leave. I may not have known what he “was”, but I finally faced the truth that it was destroying the kids and me. Whatever was going on seemed to be progressing. To stay any longer (especially after ample warning that I would leave if the abuse continued) would mean that I was making a choice to be a part of this dynamic. I had learned that he would never do the right thing (have a concience)…..with anything. After 12 years of phenomenally isolating abuse, I consider it divine intervention that I was even able to leave. I had NO IDEA what would unfold as I threatened to expose him. I also had no idea that the smearing had been long since in place behind my back and so the sense that we had nowhere to turn really played out as the insurance he needed it to be. I decided to chime in today – because the topic of this post is something I have been saying for years in my desperate attempts to explain what was happening in our home. Often people don’t understand this or don’t understand the gravity and consequences of this. That the energy-thieving is very real and paralyzing. My children have found interesting ways to articulate this sort of thing as it happens. Which is always fascinating and terrifying at the same time. At nine years old, my middle son lay sprawled out in the backseat of the car after I picked him up from his Dad’s. He said “mom……. I don’t know if I can do this. He has a special way of getting inside people….and then it’s like a rot………it makes me so tired”. The first questions I asked myself in the days that followed our leaving, were “how did I become someone who accepted this into our lives? How did we arrive in this traumatized place if I was coming from a place of love and virtue. If I tried so very hard? Why did I choose to metabolize and normalize all of this rather than listen to what was inside of me begging for boundaries. I had no boundaries. I knew it wouldn’t serve me to beat myself up about it, but that some investigating was necessary on my end in order to affect any change. More than anything I want to free my higher self to embody the light I am meant to be in the world. I want to make this shift not only for myself because living in bondage is a nightmare. But for my children – for so many reasons. I / we are living with all the ways that CPTSD and the like, show up. This is no way to live. What I am really driving at is this – for all the reading and research that I have done to this point in educating myself as to what we are dealing with. Mel’s work is the first for me that resonates on a level that addresses a bigger picture. A more “whole” picture in my opinion. I firmly believe through my own experiences that we can detach in so many ways, but if we don’t go deep within and heal we will remain bonded. I cannot equip my children if I haven’t done the work. I am deeply excited to become a part of this community and to soon begin Mels courses. I feel silly saying this, (but here’s to vulnerability), I have always felt I had great purpose and light to share with the world. (whatever that may look like?) I have always dug deeper, even as a child, and recently have had a sense of returning to this knowing. I want to BECOME myself as an extension of source. I know this is meant for all of us. I just want to thank Mel and everyone here for being. For just being and showing up exactly as you are. I am so grateful to be here, to be able to relate and to begin truly healing.