Comments on: Accepting The Losses Of Narcissistic Abuse And Aligning With What You Really Want

By: Victoria

Victoria — Wed, 21 Dec 2016 17:50:26 +0000

Hi,
During my relationship with my narcistic husband I discovered after the discard, which was confusing in itself and another opportunity for crazy making, that whilst I was incompasitated my husband raped me, took a picture of it and submitted that picture to a porn site. How I figured this out is yet another disturbing story.
I am struggling with whether or not I should report it. After July 11, 2017 it will be a mute point because of the laws in my state.
His last wife accused him of rape but that was after the discard so he convinced everyone that she was crazy.
Any instite would be appreciated
Namaste

By: Chris

Chris — Sun, 31 Jan 2016 18:44:09 +0000

Hi Melanie, thank you SO MUCH for this blog (really, for all your blog postings). I can’t express enough how much they’ve helped me understand, accept, and grow through the experiences of narcissistic abuse. Your blogs have truly been a GODSEND — synchronistic events lead me to you resources, I KNOW this was GOD. So I thank you, thank you, thank you! You are truly doing God’s work by helping us EVOLVE through our pain. I am SO THANKFUL for your desire to help us navigate though our experiences. You are helping me transform my life, FOR SURE.

One question I have, prompted by this blog, is:
If the narcissist truly feels aggrieved, injured, and entitled, then why in the world do they need to LIE when doing smear campaigns?? Why isn’t the “truth” of their reality/experience enough to “smear” the victim?

Could shed some light on this?

By: Helga

Helga — Fri, 12 Dec 2014 15:00:42 +0000

Hi Melanie,

I have a question. You said that narcissists ultimately end up alone later in life and suffer the consequences of their actions…would that also be the case with covert narcissists?

Upon reading so many articles about narcissism, it came to mind that my ex is a covert narcissist. It’s very hard to expose his abuses to me because no one would ever believe me. Worst they would just poke fun at me and regard me as crazy.

He seems to be a really, really nice guy to many people and he always talks about God and the church on Facebook and even during ordinary conversations. This very trait of being religious is what made me trust him easily. But when we finally became a couple, he turned out to be someone completely different from that godly man I knew.

I suffered cognitive dissonance because of his behavior towards me. I also am suffering from PTSD from being verbally, sexually, and emotionally abused by my ex. It’s been a year since he disposed me after taking my virginity and sexually abusing me and yet I still get trauma attacks every now and then. He has severely damaged my way of thinking that I cannot function and think normally.

How do covert narcissists get their due…almost everyone thinks they have halo on their heads….and that they are incapable of abusing and destroying lives.

Help me…

By: web link

web link — Mon, 19 May 2014 08:45:31 +0000

dekang e liquid Accepting The Losses Of Narcissistic Abuse And Aligning With What You Really Want | Narcissism and Relationships Blog by Melanie Tonia Evans

By: healinnfree

healinnfree — Tue, 25 Mar 2014 20:39:37 +0000

Thank you
To support your article my N M id 74, it took until recently for me to realize that this abuse is what i have experienced my entire life. She is suffering from dementia w. Parkinson symptoms. She is very miserable and quite frankly very alone.. I have also read that in their weakened state of mind they know what they they did, and they fear retaliation. Which os not what i am thinking. I feel so free to know I can not please her, these are and always were her issues.
The other part is after our blinders have Megen removed and we are genuine in my case with my oldest daughter. She emailed me yesterday that sheer didn’t know me anymore. It is because though i ask coming from a place of love, I am not allowing her or anyone else to devalue me or just sit back and take with out giving back.. My daughter 36, of presenting histrionic behavior while jeer husband is most definitely a very manipulating narcissist..
It is amazing how once your blinders come off how predictable their actions are and they believe they are so unique.
Thank you Melanie

By: Rhonda

Rhonda — Mon, 24 Feb 2014 00:25:14 +0000

In reply to Mandy.

I post on here because like i said …with my Narc from age 15 to 52. I am TRYING to tell you younger ladies to get out NOW-don’t look back and regret the wasted years. I’m trying to tell you ladies my age (54)or older that it is never to late–each day of happiness without that awful person in your life is one day of happiness you NEVER would have WITH him!

By: Mandy

Mandy — Sun, 23 Feb 2014 15:50:00 +0000

Thank you too both who commented true you cant save them will keep your advice close to hand

By: Rhonda

Rhonda — Sun, 23 Feb 2014 03:38:01 +0000

In reply to Lauren. after 37 I had enough-I have been on my own now 2 years and only wish i had done it sooner. The law will help you get 1/2 of what you have built togther-no matter how often he swears they won't and you will find livng on your own a FREEDOM you never imagined. I have lost 60 pounds and my health isues have disappeared.Oh the years I wasted...but no more wasting MY life! Good Luck to you!

By: Rhonda

Rhonda — Sun, 23 Feb 2014 03:27:56 +0000

One of my last therapist appts. I told my therapist I had finally stopped feeling guilty and she asked “for what?” and i replied “for getting out and SAVING MYSELF”
she asked me “COULD you save him?” and I said “NO–but I COULD save ME!”
with my narc from age 15-52…SAVE YOURSELF NOW. It’s worth it!