Comments on: Aftershock – Why You Feel Worse After Leaving The Narcissist

By: Denise

Denise — Fri, 22 Jul 2022 12:02:03 +0000

Melanie,
I left over a year ago and I listen to your videos every day to keep believing in myself. Aftershock was a surprise to me. I never had this before with other boyfriends. My husband did everything you’ve described. The lies in court and to his family making him to be the victim while he continued his abuse outside of court. I couldn’t understand why my obsessive thoughts of him still consumed me. I was free physically but still his prisoner. I haven’t been able to work. My teenage daughter tells me to stop thinking about her father all the time and stop looking for his texts. Your videos have helped me believe I need to stay my course. Thank you for keeping me strong and sane. Twenty years with him. I forgotten how to live with not thinking about pleasing him, or keeping myself and my daughter safe, every minute of the day.

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Sun, 05 Jun 2022 04:07:18 +0000

In reply to Peter.

Hi Peter,

it’s so my pleasure and thank you as always for your wonderful comments!

Mel 🙏💞🦋

By: Stefanie Shepherd

Stefanie Shepherd — Sat, 04 Jun 2022 20:44:50 +0000

In reply to Peter. Which remedies specifically?

By: Peter

Peter — Sat, 04 Jun 2022 13:35:37 +0000

In reply to Melanie Tonia Evans. Hi Melanie! Yes, what you said makes total sense! 😌 Being, now, in the midst of recovery and rebuilding, while holding precious hope within and using as often as I can the amazing tools of NARP, I know I will get to that place within that I dream of and wish for and hope for every day of my life. Thank you so much, Melanie, for everything and your amazing work you do for us beings on this planet! Much love! ❤️🦋❤️

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Sat, 04 Jun 2022 03:20:05 +0000

In reply to Molly.

Please know Molly that we are all sending much love to you and your loved one.

Blessings, peace and health to you both.

Mel 🙏💞🦋

By: Molly

Molly — Wed, 01 Jun 2022 22:32:26 +0000

My loved one is dying. The narcissists still want to abuse me. They really don’t effect me anymore, their antics are desperate and predictable. I’m just taking time today to heal and grieve. I know that we are not in the world for eternity, but I had hoped my loved one would stay around a little longer. Such a beautiful kind soul. Why do all the good ones die early? And why do the nasty narcissists feel so entitled to my life? They have given me nothing but torment for years. The truth shall set us all free. I will miss my loved one if he passes, please everyone pray that he does not. But I will not miss the narcissists. When they pass over to the other side, this world will be a better place. I use them for my own spiritual growth, so I suppose they have a purpose but that is the only purpose I can think of. I hope they find God but I do think that is unlikely. Most likely they will continue to harass me or someone else as they derive energy only from others pain and suffering, and they will take their ugliness and hatred to their grave. I am praying for my loved one and ask that you all join me in prayer. Beautiful, beautiful soul… kind and full of light. I can say so many things about him- how goofy he could be, funny, kind, smart, loving…. God bless his soul, God bless us all

By: Sophia Epitropoulos

Sophia Epitropoulos — Mon, 30 May 2022 19:23:30 +0000

I am at my very wits end spending 17 years and eight cycles of leaving only to be chased love bombed tension build and discard then on to the love bomb again. The lies, the crumbs of promises, knowing deep down how many other women were involved each time he would pick a fight disappear or drive me to the point where I could no longer take it with leave that would give him the excuse that I dumped him and he went out looking for others. Those new fresh supply were weeded out somewhere in the keep for the future pile and some more for the get rid of. I’ve had women write me when he instigated a relationship through the Internet then decided to block them . I would confront him yet I was the one to blame for leaving even though I ran for my life and for my sanity. I was financially destroyed a decade ago and lost a vocal cord in a botched surgery living on disability and trying to teach with one vocal cord just wasn’t making it. Having no strong support system, a family who felt that it was self induced for me to remain in some thing that I was miserable. Yes he would run me to the hospital or do a few things here and there that made him look like a hero it’s so classic from A-to-Z. But each and every argument disappearance break up re-acceptance assured him that no matter what he did or does I would most certainly take him back if nothing more than knowing that I would be most probably homeless without his financial help . You would think after 17 years and all of these cycles I would be more immune yet they become more painful and more difficult because years pass you grow older and the strength and vigor you want side becomes less and less. That is the ultimate goal as hard as it is to swallow is that they are not done till you are done they could never leave behind a healthy version of you who just might by some chance find some joy in life and even more so perhaps someone who will love in a true and healthy way. The aftershocks are what do the most damage more so than the arguments. They come out of nowhere and that is when you step backwards. I have grown so tired. With his bad is my health is I have become homebound work a bit from my computer having to deal with all the physiological issues I have many of which began over a decade ago from seeds of stress. It is slow death in the worst most horrific way . There is no Assistance no groups no physical people to reach out to lucy I understand. I even had one of the women he dumped of his new supply who wanted to become my friend so we could comfort each other as she has gone through narcissism in another relationship but even communicating with her was reigniting and keeping him alive inside my soul. I have no energy to go anywhere and not all of it is emotional it has worn my physical being out. I often wonder how I have managed to stay alive this long. Not that he would ever kill me physically but it is emotional death far more torturous. The mind games the gaslighting all the words everyone knows so well. All I find myself doing is just teaching a few hours and trying to curl up and sleep so that my mind won’t thanks so that my body won’t hurt. I’m sorry for such a long winded response but the one thing I have been doing is reading each day their articles and them videos. Trying desperately to just keep reinforcing myself. I have all my friends distant partly my own not having energy for anyone and partly because they have no idea how to help me or have lives of their own and just can’t deal with this anymore . It is a lonely and isolating feeling. Especially when your best and most productive years were spent fighting and arguing breaking up spending money to move only to go back. I pray each day for someone something somehow to make this torment stop. I can do no contact but will slip just once and it will cost me days and days of peace . Worrying now about how my rent will be paid leaves me with no sleep at night. Please know for anyone who is just starting and realizing seeing the red flags run run run run please save your life it is too short to live in hell here on earth . Thank you for at least providing words up hoe and giving people and education. Take it from us The ones who endured decades Lost so much with only a small amount of life left to live. It is hard to make people around you understand. Your soul is consumed some are worse than others. The ones with hatred in them want to see you go in the worst most violent way. Please heed the warnings 🙏🏻

By: Jane M.

Jane M. — Mon, 30 May 2022 19:01:06 +0000

Dear Mel,
Thank you for bringing awareness and solutions to the Aftershock stage of narcissistic abuse. Yes, I didn’t understand why things were not just fine once the threat was over.
You explain it so well 💗

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Mon, 30 May 2022 03:01:01 +0000

In reply to Peggyb.

Hi Peggy,

please know how welcome you are and I’m happy that my material is helping you

Mel 🙏💞🦋