Comments on: Being Comfortable In Your Own Skin

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Wed, 13 Jan 2021 07:10:06 +0000

In reply to Trehvn.

Hi Trehavn,

Skin-deep peace is a soul peace, in your Being.

What you are describing is not that.

I’d love to offer you healing, deep in your soul, to find your power and peace.

My free webinar http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar will show you how this is possible

Mel 🙏💕💚

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Wed, 13 Jan 2021 07:07:14 +0000

In reply to havdvhy@yahoo.com.

Hi Hav,

Everything in balance!

Truly …

It’s different if you are doing this to try to self-medicate and it’s done often.

Enjoy!

Mel 🙏💕💚

By: havdvhy@yahoo.com

havdvhy@yahoo.com — Wed, 13 Jan 2021 01:55:32 +0000

What does it mean if I have a cocktail before I’m thriving. I’m not thriving but recalling better times and trying to be normal despite the crazy situation.

By: Trehvn

Trehvn — Tue, 12 Jan 2021 20:02:32 +0000

I’m comfortable in my own skin but so is the narcissist who uses gross sex “magic” to soul rape me and others. It’s a nasty vibe that feels violent, cold, mean and full of rage. It’s not how I normally feel but I’d feel it sometimes years ago while I was still involved with the narc and years later when they tried to pop back up to disrupt our lives. Same feeling and it’s not good despite they seeming charming and soooo accommodating.

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Mon, 17 Sep 2018 22:26:14 +0000

In reply to Michael Sinatra.

Hi Michael,

I guess the empowering thing is to be ourselves and anchored into our authentic truth regardless of what others are or aren’t doing.

Not always easy!

Mel 🙏💕❤️

By: Michael Sinatra

Michael Sinatra — Mon, 17 Sep 2018 16:01:09 +0000

Growing up in the entertainment business being raised by narcissists then working in customer service you see two different versions of reality. There’s one reality where everyone is kind, considerate and cares about everyone. Then there’s the other reality where everyone is selfish, hateful, bitter, paranoid, delusional, just me a few 🙂 So which reality should I choose to live in to be happy in my own skin? If you can’t give me an answer then I guess I will continue to live in both realities. There is no reality only perception and my perception is, that we are living in Comedy Land where nothing is real 🙂 Melanie’s brilliant videos on narcissism inspire me to lock my doors and windows and remain safe from the abuse of narcissists!!! 🙂

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Tue, 04 Sep 2018 22:23:41 +0000

In reply to Phoenix.

Hi Phoenix,

Please know that you are very welcome and thank you.

Phoenix I truly understand your dilemma Dear Lady and this is my take on it.

This experience still hurts you and therefore it is not a love experience that is aligned with your True Self.

Absolutely there is always our part in it, meaning the generating of the reality of some painful beliefs that we can address.

This doesn’t mean we are ‘messed up’, rather it means a that another AID in our life is helping us heal, whether or not they come forward in the journey with us past this point.

Most definitely it is about taking a stand instead ourselves to heal those traumas of the less than situation we have identified and received in our life.

You have named it perfectly ‘I am not seen or loved by a man’.

When that is no longer a part of your Inner Identity then you will become a generator of being seen and loved by a man. With that boundary and knowing what you deserve, he will either step up or you will let him go, making way for someone who does have the resources.

I know that this is hard and painful, however our life can only be true and fulfilling if we live it authentically. Our emotions let us know when we are not.

I hope that this can help you get clarity around this.

Mel 🙏💕❤️

By: Phoenix

Phoenix — Tue, 04 Sep 2018 19:40:45 +0000

Hi melanie, your work is beautiful and so helpful, thank you for being there.
I have just finished a three years separation that was extremely difficult, my speed aging years i called them,,( there was being pretty much homeless , and the never ending custody, housing, and financial court case).
Im much better now.
Ive done lots of work.i feel safe. I feel healthier. Happy at work. Happy with my child.
Ive done a lot towards remembering how to be well with myself, how to give to myself what i use to think i needed from another one,,,i can see that im well capable of providing for myself, and generating self love.
That said,
After theses years , i have made friends and lover with a man i really appreciate. He really helped me through the last chunk,of my struggle, just be being so steadily kind, honest, gentle, receiving of my truth without attacking me back ever,,its been somehow heartbreaking and shaking to remember the possibility of that, and the feeling o knowing i can stay calm at the side of someone, that it can be safe, that no one will stab me in the back in two minutes .
This man i started to love,despite knowing he is struggling with his own things, that he doesnt latch at others with , or hide from me,,,but it comes in cycles of semi depression, he is afraid of getting close to people, he tends to disappear now and then,,and although we talk about it, andi can see his efforts at not hurting me with this,,it still just happened,,,and i so know its not personal to me, and he reminds me that, he has only been appreciative of me and always grateful, never a mean word,,i take careof myself just fine when he eclipse , i have an active social life and personal life,,,butit still hurts,,,i feel sad he is struggling, i feel sad we cant celebrate more of life together,,,and i wonder, do you think that someone that is a rather gentle and honest distancer can still be a sign of improvement on my part ( what makes me really sad is that i look at him as a rflection of how messed up i still am and i feel desperation at times, that i just cant get better, and that i never bring to myself being seen or loved by a man,,,i feel well loved by my friends,,its the intimate love relationships that are the challenges). Do you think that continuing with the modules is the way to go? I think you will tell me yes,,and i think that what i desperately need in this rather solo journey is a sign of encouragement from someone that understand, rather than feeling judge by the ones that cant and simply think i settled for too little and should just move on,, as if it is that easy for me. There are still hooks. And they are there to teach me.

By: TT.

TT. — Sun, 02 Sep 2018 20:50:40 +0000

In reply to Greer.

Thanks Greer, good points! Recently my friend divorced, and I was like “how on earth you divorced from him, he was nice and NORMAL for heavens sake!?” 😀
But maybe relationships do not always work, no matter what 🙁
Now after n abuse and I have done a lot of healing and soul searching…if I still sometimes (like recently) have some relationship/dating “failure” or disappointment, I immediately become little bit “hysterical” and panicky, like “great, what is it that I still need to shift, fix or heal in me, I’m tired of this, I hope I would already be “done” with all that!”.
But now I see..there’s not necessarily anything to fix in me, nothing wrong with me, or the man…maybe it’s just that not everyone is a good match 🙂