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	<title>
	Comments on: Boundaries – How To Have Difficult Conversations Without Fear Of Retaliation	</title>
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	<link>https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/boundaries-how-to-have-difficult-conversations-without-fear-of-retaliation/</link>
	<description>Devastated by a narcissist? Melanie&#039;s Narcissism blog offers support &#38; empowering tools to heal &#38; thrive after narcissistic abuse, gain a new life &#38; fulfilling relationships.</description>
	<lastBuildDate>Mon, 18 Mar 2019 01:13:43 +0000</lastBuildDate>
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	<item>
		<title>
		By: Melanie Tonia Evans		</title>
		<link>https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/boundaries-how-to-have-difficult-conversations-without-fear-of-retaliation/#comment-1151068</link>

		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Melanie Tonia Evans]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 18 Mar 2019 01:13:43 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=4858#comment-1151068</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[In reply to &lt;a href=&quot;https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/boundaries-how-to-have-difficult-conversations-without-fear-of-retaliation/#comment-1150926&quot;&gt;Lea&lt;/a&gt;.

Hi Lea,

I’m glad that this video has helped. What you are describing was a common issue for most of us!

Lea have you looked at my healing program NARP? www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp 

That is the most powerful way I know of to achieve this.

Wishing you healing and breakthrough.

Mel 🙏💕❤️]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>In reply to <a href="https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/boundaries-how-to-have-difficult-conversations-without-fear-of-retaliation/#comment-1150926">Lea</a>.</p>
<p>Hi Lea,</p>
<p>I’m glad that this video has helped. What you are describing was a common issue for most of us!</p>
<p>Lea have you looked at my healing program NARP? <a href="http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp" rel="nofollow ugc">http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp</a> </p>
<p>That is the most powerful way I know of to achieve this.</p>
<p>Wishing you healing and breakthrough.</p>
<p>Mel 🙏💕❤️</p>
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		<title>
		By: Lea		</title>
		<link>https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/boundaries-how-to-have-difficult-conversations-without-fear-of-retaliation/#comment-1150926</link>

		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Lea]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 17 Mar 2019 13:56:22 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=4858#comment-1150926</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[In reply to &lt;a href=&quot;https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/boundaries-how-to-have-difficult-conversations-without-fear-of-retaliation/#comment-858793&quot;&gt;Melanie Tonia Evans&lt;/a&gt;.

Hi Mel,
Great video! The part about running towards people that have zero remorse and don&#039;t take accountability hit home for me. Trying to get people to understand that your pain is legitimate is like trying to get their permission to accept your experience. It is so hard to stop justifying. I struggle with &quot;If I could just get you to see that what you did was not ok and we cleared the air between us, then everything will be ok.  I feel like I&#039;m blaming and want peace. I feel like I&#039;m being controlling and being controlled. How do you get peace and let this person go?]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>In reply to <a href="https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/boundaries-how-to-have-difficult-conversations-without-fear-of-retaliation/#comment-858793">Melanie Tonia Evans</a>.</p>
<p>Hi Mel,<br />
Great video! The part about running towards people that have zero remorse and don&#8217;t take accountability hit home for me. Trying to get people to understand that your pain is legitimate is like trying to get their permission to accept your experience. It is so hard to stop justifying. I struggle with &#8220;If I could just get you to see that what you did was not ok and we cleared the air between us, then everything will be ok.  I feel like I&#8217;m blaming and want peace. I feel like I&#8217;m being controlling and being controlled. How do you get peace and let this person go?</p>
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		<title>
		By: Fiona Campbell Stuart		</title>
		<link>https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/boundaries-how-to-have-difficult-conversations-without-fear-of-retaliation/#comment-1136188</link>

		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Fiona Campbell Stuart]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 03 Feb 2019 13:31:28 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=4858#comment-1136188</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[Unbelievably (!) despite being assertive, I have still been struggling with being an adult with my mother. Have finally drawn a line between me and her, and the universe has rewarded me with really seeing what she is. Thanks for this wonderful, wonderful reminder Melanie. Sometimes, it just helps to know we are not alone.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Unbelievably (!) despite being assertive, I have still been struggling with being an adult with my mother. Have finally drawn a line between me and her, and the universe has rewarded me with really seeing what she is. Thanks for this wonderful, wonderful reminder Melanie. Sometimes, it just helps to know we are not alone.</p>
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		<title>
		By: Satina Cooper		</title>
		<link>https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/boundaries-how-to-have-difficult-conversations-without-fear-of-retaliation/#comment-1108614</link>

		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Satina Cooper]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 13 Nov 2018 22:27:36 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=4858#comment-1108614</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[So relate to everything you&#039;ve shared.  Your program has been a life saver for me.  Question - when you create your videos, are you using a teleprompter or other device and if so what do you use.  Thanks for all that you do. Hugs Satina]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>So relate to everything you&#8217;ve shared.  Your program has been a life saver for me.  Question &#8211; when you create your videos, are you using a teleprompter or other device and if so what do you use.  Thanks for all that you do. Hugs Satina</p>
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		<title>
		By: Melanie Tonia Evans		</title>
		<link>https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/boundaries-how-to-have-difficult-conversations-without-fear-of-retaliation/#comment-1015911</link>

		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Melanie Tonia Evans]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 25 Mar 2018 22:24:29 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=4858#comment-1015911</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[In reply to &lt;a href=&quot;https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/boundaries-how-to-have-difficult-conversations-without-fear-of-retaliation/#comment-1015763&quot;&gt;Georgia&lt;/a&gt;.

Hi Georgis,

that is so wonderful that you are going to rise!

Absolutely you have the power to create your own reality here. You are every courageous and sending you the strength for incredible breakthrough! You are SO close :)

Many blessings darling :)

Mel xo]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>In reply to <a href="https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/boundaries-how-to-have-difficult-conversations-without-fear-of-retaliation/#comment-1015763">Georgia</a>.</p>
<p>Hi Georgis,</p>
<p>that is so wonderful that you are going to rise!</p>
<p>Absolutely you have the power to create your own reality here. You are every courageous and sending you the strength for incredible breakthrough! You are SO close 🙂</p>
<p>Many blessings darling 🙂</p>
<p>Mel xo</p>
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		<title>
		By: Georgia		</title>
		<link>https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/boundaries-how-to-have-difficult-conversations-without-fear-of-retaliation/#comment-1015763</link>

		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Georgia]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 25 Mar 2018 14:08:17 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=4858#comment-1015763</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[Dear dear  Mel 
Thank you so much for this and all your videos. I&#039;ve been on this journey for a while now after the pressure cooker exploded in horrifying ways- my father- I have gone no to limited contact and been healing for 2 years. I&#039;ve just moved from Rome to Paris and found *the perfect* flat through a friend. The couple I&#039;ve moved in with though are the classic dysfunctional and toxic narc/codependent. Both very unconscious people and... they are hoarders. You can&#039;t move in the flat for crap (literal c not ours!) Everywhere. The kitchen is disgusting too... I&#039;ve never seen adults live like this. They argue and swear incessantly and eat junk food all the time -so your kitchen metaphor was impeccable. And after a really emotional last week with my mother in which I met my father for first time in 2 years and got emotionally raped by a *spiritual*healer I then moved into this mess in a new country, new city... literally ALL my unhealed CRAP showed up all at once. It has been so intense. So this video just couldn&#039;t be more perfect for me. Thank you. I&#039;ve felt so child like and deeply powerless and crying uncontrollably this last week in this new city. I now know what I need to do thanks to you. It feels scary as I have no other home to go to for the moment... But I know I need to speak up my truth. And if nothing can change then I&#039;ll have to find somewhere else. Thank you for giving me an injection of awareness and courage. I&#039;m so looking forward to the day I really feel like I&#039;m thriving in my own skin again -at the moment it feels like it&#039;s been ripped off. 
Lots of love,Georgia xxx 
(you helped me get my head and heart straight about the spiritual charlatan on Facebook the other day xxx )]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Dear dear  Mel<br />
Thank you so much for this and all your videos. I&#8217;ve been on this journey for a while now after the pressure cooker exploded in horrifying ways- my father- I have gone no to limited contact and been healing for 2 years. I&#8217;ve just moved from Rome to Paris and found *the perfect* flat through a friend. The couple I&#8217;ve moved in with though are the classic dysfunctional and toxic narc/codependent. Both very unconscious people and&#8230; they are hoarders. You can&#8217;t move in the flat for crap (literal c not ours!) Everywhere. The kitchen is disgusting too&#8230; I&#8217;ve never seen adults live like this. They argue and swear incessantly and eat junk food all the time -so your kitchen metaphor was impeccable. And after a really emotional last week with my mother in which I met my father for first time in 2 years and got emotionally raped by a *spiritual*healer I then moved into this mess in a new country, new city&#8230; literally ALL my unhealed CRAP showed up all at once. It has been so intense. So this video just couldn&#8217;t be more perfect for me. Thank you. I&#8217;ve felt so child like and deeply powerless and crying uncontrollably this last week in this new city. I now know what I need to do thanks to you. It feels scary as I have no other home to go to for the moment&#8230; But I know I need to speak up my truth. And if nothing can change then I&#8217;ll have to find somewhere else. Thank you for giving me an injection of awareness and courage. I&#8217;m so looking forward to the day I really feel like I&#8217;m thriving in my own skin again -at the moment it feels like it&#8217;s been ripped off.<br />
Lots of love,Georgia xxx<br />
(you helped me get my head and heart straight about the spiritual charlatan on Facebook the other day xxx )</p>
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		<title>
		By: AnneBobby		</title>
		<link>https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/boundaries-how-to-have-difficult-conversations-without-fear-of-retaliation/#comment-1008538</link>

		<dc:creator><![CDATA[AnneBobby]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 05 Mar 2018 01:39:37 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=4858#comment-1008538</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[Hi Melanie, 
Thank you for this great video!
I have a question, my Narcist husband, makes fun of me in front of his adult dauhgters. 
I am his second wife.
 His first wife was quiet and serving

This makes makes me feel very insecure.
I am following your NARP mp3’s
Have also been reading your E books
Getting there, but not there yet.
We are having his birthday party, he is 67 years old.
He does not  want me to particepate in the organisation. Says he will organise everything himself this time.
Because otherwise everything is going my way. This is what he says.
This is simply not true.
I really would prefer not to be there.
I know how this sounds, really I do, 
To be really honest, I am scared.
Who would have a party and speak up for herself, and risc spoiling the party.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Hi Melanie,<br />
Thank you for this great video!<br />
I have a question, my Narcist husband, makes fun of me in front of his adult dauhgters.<br />
I am his second wife.<br />
 His first wife was quiet and serving</p>
<p>This makes makes me feel very insecure.<br />
I am following your NARP mp3’s<br />
Have also been reading your E books<br />
Getting there, but not there yet.<br />
We are having his birthday party, he is 67 years old.<br />
He does not  want me to particepate in the organisation. Says he will organise everything himself this time.<br />
Because otherwise everything is going my way. This is what he says.<br />
This is simply not true.<br />
I really would prefer not to be there.<br />
I know how this sounds, really I do,<br />
To be really honest, I am scared.<br />
Who would have a party and speak up for herself, and risc spoiling the party.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
		
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		<title>
		By: Melanie Tonia Evans		</title>
		<link>https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/boundaries-how-to-have-difficult-conversations-without-fear-of-retaliation/#comment-903521</link>

		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Melanie Tonia Evans]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 27 Jul 2017 02:12:38 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=4858#comment-903521</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[In reply to &lt;a href=&quot;https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/boundaries-how-to-have-difficult-conversations-without-fear-of-retaliation/#comment-903386&quot;&gt;Just me&lt;/a&gt;.

Hi Elise,

great question.

Yes, when we are not attached to anyone &quot;getting it&quot; or  obtaining a result.

Then we know the truth, detach and move one. If there was an up levelling chance, us being honest would create truth and healing for all healthy enough people involved.

The important thing is we don&#039;t just internalise, move on and NOT take responsibility for generating our own realities.

Mel xo]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>In reply to <a href="https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/boundaries-how-to-have-difficult-conversations-without-fear-of-retaliation/#comment-903386">Just me</a>.</p>
<p>Hi Elise,</p>
<p>great question.</p>
<p>Yes, when we are not attached to anyone &#8220;getting it&#8221; or  obtaining a result.</p>
<p>Then we know the truth, detach and move one. If there was an up levelling chance, us being honest would create truth and healing for all healthy enough people involved.</p>
<p>The important thing is we don&#8217;t just internalise, move on and NOT take responsibility for generating our own realities.</p>
<p>Mel xo</p>
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		<title>
		By: Just me		</title>
		<link>https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/boundaries-how-to-have-difficult-conversations-without-fear-of-retaliation/#comment-903386</link>

		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Just me]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 26 Jul 2017 21:33:34 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=4858#comment-903386</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[Hypothetical question:

But is it a good idea to speak your truth in a situation where the people around you, that you would be speaking to, are covert and overt narcissists and/or seem to be subtly manipulative codependents and other such &quot;flying monkey&quot; type people protecting them and they are all attacking you?

Just curious.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Hypothetical question:</p>
<p>But is it a good idea to speak your truth in a situation where the people around you, that you would be speaking to, are covert and overt narcissists and/or seem to be subtly manipulative codependents and other such &#8220;flying monkey&#8221; type people protecting them and they are all attacking you?</p>
<p>Just curious.</p>
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