Comments on: Can A Narcissist Be Cured?

By: Maurice Heltman

Maurice Heltman — Sun, 14 May 2023 01:26:06 +0000

In reply to Melanie Tonia Evans. Hi Iwas in a civert N for 21 yrs ,,then left,,,my kids were late teens,,,I just had enough,,,,Was just the bread winner ,,Then I was labeled the bad one. ,No one else knew her side cold as ice to me.,,no intimacy. ,Its been 11 yrs and I ve been healing over time.and just had another brush with a overt and had sweet talked me for awhile until the fangs started showing,,,then I d run across you on YouTube,,Which was a blessing,,,,She comes from a well established family ,,and looks great publicly,,,,,But I saw this side,,,,and then blocked her totally and with drew all my resources ,,,She was always implying to move in and O d take care of her,, but I wouldnt respond ,, other than sauing one day at a time and not so fast,, then she turned colder, ,,But theres ptsd from military on her,,,and other issues I found out ,,,,I felr bad,,,because at first she seemed so right and mature,,,but realized I was lured in,,, anyway,,,,Im just getting over some of this,, getting easier ,,from hearing on your educational info and other testimonials,,Thx again,,,

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Sun, 08 Mar 2020 02:17:04 +0000

In reply to Donna.

Hi Donna,

it’s a person’s actions that denotes their character. I really do believe, as hard as it is, you realise what is going on.

If you leave yourself open to being used more, that’s exactly what will happen.

One of the hardest lessons that we have through relationships like this, is that there is no point trying to love and assist somebody, when it is at cost of our own soul and resources.

We are all here to learn to love and honour ourselves healthily, and then we can generate relationships with other people who also have the resources to love and respect us.

If you continue to allow this to happen Donna, then you are enabling it. He doesn’t have the resources to care for and respect you or your resources.

I know it’s really hard to accept this, but the writing is well and truly on the wall. Additionally, it’s not important what he thinks of you, because with people like this they never think any better of you, no matter what you do for them… It’s about what you think of you and the choices that you’re making for you that counts.

My heart goes out to you, we’ve all been there. And I hope that you start listening to your inner being and honoring it, because if you don’t you will pay even more of a price.

Sending you love, strength and healing in this challenging time.

Mel 🙏💕💛

By: Donna

Donna — Sat, 07 Mar 2020 22:32:06 +0000

I just recently discovered my fiancé of 5 years (11 year total relationship) had used my child support account like an everyday debit card. He also lied to me that we had savings and a money market that was never started from a 401K I had cased in. I obviously trusted him to much with managing our finances. He is Italian and has a man runs the household attitude. He never ever showed me his accounts income ( on disability and worked under the table).
I asked for years to manage the bills budget then suggested we split everything which he adamantly refused. I started to investigate why we were always penny pinching and finally became aware all accounts were empty. Not sure what was in his though. When I made him aware he packed his stuff and left while I wasn’t home. Blamed me for exposing the truth to my daughter who is an attorney. He agreed to one couples counseling session had a meltdown and blamed me for everything.
I have been very understanding very kind and have tried to give him the space and time he has asked for. He sent my daughters texts that said he has demons to deal with but wants help and would be getting help with me thru counseling. He went to one session then had reasons for cancellations. He now has been one the road training for a truck driver position for past 4 weeks and kept telling me he couldn’t talk to text due to having to concentrate on his training and not wanting anyone to hear his conversations.
He is still on my phone plan and of course I have checked his usage. He is making calls to a friend in Fla. and texting to multiple stars and using phone regularly but no time to contact me. Last text I got was last Monday that this is his last week of training and he will let me know what they are doing with him then.
He has continued to transfer small amounts of monies out of a joint account we had that only has $59 in it to keep it open. The kind person I am I asked if he needs financial help he said thank you for that I am ok for now. Yet if anything is in there he takes it without communication.
He isn’t still on my auto insurance also.
He left 12/28. It is 2 1/2 months . I have a conscience I cannot drop him from phone or insurance if he needs assistance or has to much pride to ask for help.
Yet I can’t be the reason he blames me for what has happened and I told him I forgave him and it’s fixable but I am not seeing anything to make me think he is really interested in anything other than using me.
How do I handle the phone & insurance?

By: Daniel Jesse

Daniel Jesse — Tue, 27 Nov 2018 07:16:12 +0000

I feel so hopeless and broken. Not only have I nothing left inside because she’s destroyed me over almost 2 years, but she also is an alcoholic and putting our unborn baby at risk. I had such hope and faith. Articles like this are helping me understand. My first step is to save myself and my second is to prepare for my son… to be his hero and protector.

By: Neil

Neil — Tue, 20 Feb 2018 16:45:58 +0000

In reply to Melanie Tonia Evans.

I don’t understans why narcissist wife suffering makes happy someone and joining to support that happiness.

They have mental illness and they don’t deserve a paying back for what they did out of illness.

Be kindful.

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Thu, 11 Jan 2018 06:30:09 +0000

In reply to Katie.

Hi Katie,

I have created quite a few articles and videos on co-parenting.

If you google my name + co-parenting + children, you will see these resources.

I hope this helps.

Mel xo

By: Katie

Katie — Wed, 10 Jan 2018 13:49:25 +0000

In reply to Melanie Tonia Evans. Hello iam katie, And I was wondering how do you go no contact and stay no contact if you have four children together.

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Sat, 16 Dec 2017 10:21:39 +0000

In reply to Emma J.

Hi Emma,

thank you for your post and I truly do believe that any narcissist who chooses consciousness is not a narcissist. They are a wounded person engaging in healing. Narcissism to me is the total unwillingness to do this – become conscious.

I highly recommend the NARP Program https://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp to anyone wanting to reverse the effects of their trauma – by releasing and reprogramming them directly in our subconscious – our Inner Being. The healing is identical for all of us.

Sending many blessings and healing and well done for you self-meeting, courage and intention.

Mel xo

By: Emma J

Emma J — Fri, 15 Dec 2017 06:14:39 +0000

You know, as much as this video and the prime vision behind it may help a real community of people affected by close relationships with narcissists in my opinion it shouldn’t represent the reality of whether a narcissist can be cured. Honestly it’s amazing and necessary to have a support network for the victims of the abuse and it’s a wonderful deed. However, narcissists are people, stricken with traumas and a developed behavior that degrades their lives and the lives of those around them. I know it’s possible for a narcissist to recognize the consequences of their behavior and want to genuinely heal; not for the sake of keeping a relationship or appeasing anothers complaints. I know because I’ve been a narcissist since a time I can’t recall and I’ve recognized it. I’ve struggled with depression, anxiety, self hatred, low self esteem, social anxiety and feelings of inadequacy in social environments. Through the years I asked myself why every friendship and relationship would fade and degrade. I now recognize the praise, devalue and discard phases I put people through and I hated myself when I came to the realization. You can’t tell me Im unable to change because I’m incapable of accepting my own faults and behaviors, because I already have. I’m currently in a relationship in which I started the praise phase and was beginning to shift towards the devalue phase, but I’ve caught on to my behavior and I don’t want to be like this anymore. So I don’t hurt the person I’m with, so I don’t continue hurting myself and so no more people get hurt on account of my subconsciously learned behavior. I’ve scheduled a psychotherapy session in the near future to treat it. If you have any real suggestions on how to aid in the process then that would be most appreciated.