Comments on: Can You Ever Trust Again After Being Abused?

By: tim

tim — Wed, 15 Apr 2020 05:14:59 +0000

It took years (if ever) to recover from her. There was no way I could even ask a woman out, I was so distressed. So eventually I did, nice girl, dinner, far too much grog (as it was in those days) back to my place, no plans but to see her again, when she said ” I don’t find you particularly attractive”.

Well, what I’d being through, then on the receiving end of this. No more mister nice guy. I got what I wanted and kicked her out in the morning.

So I changed from being far too generous to a far more hardened personality.

You can’t go through a Narc experience without changing

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Mon, 23 Mar 2020 08:06:22 +0000

In reply to Kathryn.

Hi Kathryn,

Absolutely I promise you that that can change!

That’s great that you are deeply understanding this concept now. I also love that you are deeply getting how you weren’t anchored in generating those values yet.

That’s the work, and you are so on your way. You have got this Kathryn!

So much love to you and thank you for yours!

Mel 🙏💕💚

By: Kathryn

Kathryn — Mon, 23 Mar 2020 04:19:13 +0000

Dear Melanie,
This is such a powerful message. I began my NARP work last month and had already sadly realized I would never trust anyone enough again to even have another intimate relationship. I feel empowered now that this too shall change.
I understand the concept of it all being about me being truthful to me regarding my values and self respect. I can’t tell you how many times I told my ex narc, before being kicked out, how disrespected I felt by her. But, I realize now I am the one who disrespected me because I should have walked right out the door the first time I realized a huge lie she told me. And so many more followed.
I still have a lot of healing to do, and Module work to accomplish before I regain my self confidence, but that self confidence is now based on something totally different than it had before I met the Covert Narc. Before I based it on the person I was, that I liked myself because of the values I had. BUT, when it came down to having those values respected, standing up for my own values, I went limp like a wet tissue and let my ex narc march all over me and my values/boundaries…for fear of being criticized, rejected, abandoned, and/or punished (CRAP.)
Thank You for helping me and all of us heal this most important foundation stone!
Love and Light to you always,
Kathryn

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Sat, 21 Mar 2020 07:58:51 +0000

In reply to Iris.

Hi Iris,

it is huge this topic right now! I pre-recorded this episode a few weeks ago before this crazy thing broke loose!

Absolutely, Iris, this is teaching us to connect to deeper eternal truths and ways of being, rather than the day-to-day distractions. This is about what is really important and real in life.

This is an incredible opportunity for a global growth in consciousness.

I love that you have that beautiful level of faith, and thank you for sharing and inspiring it within all of this.

So much love to you

Mel 🙏💕💚

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Sat, 21 Mar 2020 07:55:21 +0000

In reply to Wendy.

Hi Wendy,

I am so thrilled that NARP http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp is helping you build trust and faith in confidence in yourself so much, and that you are reaping the benefits as a result of devoting to the inner work.

That’s brilliant that you are working through honouring you with the 66 Day Planner and being able to have the truthful and authentic conversations with people to see who can uplevel with you!

Wendy it is so inspirational whenever Thrivers like yourself grab the tools and really run with them!

Please know sweetheart that if I could hunker down into the bunkers for three days and clear all of the trauma that came up regarding my smoking with NARP, and emerge completely and utterly free of any urge after that (I was so hooked!)… anyone can.

You have got this Wendy.

Right back at you, you rock big time!

Much love to you as well!

Mel 🙏💕💚

By: Iris

Iris — Fri, 20 Mar 2020 09:51:30 +0000

Hi Melanie,

Trust is such a major question today as our faith is tried during the current corrective global concerns.

“Fixing” human situations somehow is never sufficiently satisfying. The trust has to be firmly established on things that do not change. Human life goes up and down. “Good” in human experience is an unreliable measure of “right”. It can not be trusted because it can be very short lived.

I have to remember to rejoice in all tribulation too because the storms teach us to rely on what never changes nor fails. ETERNAL things.

I have to thank God FOR the Narc experience.

To remember the beautiful feelings of LOVE that do not die with time but ever live to amuse me when I remember how I played along with the deceptions. I knew something was always just short of true when he talked, so I suspended totally betting the farm. I knew that Truth has a ring to it. I never got that ring. (No pun intended)

I place trust in those things that are certain, that have proven records, that have sustained me, that never change and have never failed me: the love of God and the power of that love.

This love leads us through the valley and the mountain top. Saves from Narcs and from self. No matter what the current story. I firmly trust in God to feed, to lead, to restore me to a pure understanding of Who I Am as a child of GOD.

Much love and great peace to all: Great peace is exactly what we have when we know what to trust.

Trusting confidently …

By: Wendy

Wendy — Fri, 20 Mar 2020 08:22:48 +0000

Loved this one Mel, spot on! 👌🏼
I am trusting myself & the work I’m doing with Narp, more & more each day.. the feeling of confidence you describe here is absolutely amazing, & one I’ve never felt before!
I’ve had a few things slip through the cracks, & as soon as I realise that, I now also realise it’s because I had briefly turned away from myself & ignored my gut feelings once again.
This program is changing me & my life for the better, & I know I would never have believed it if I hadn’t proved it to myself by doing the inner work!
I’ve had some ‘difficult conversations’ in recent weeks, (working on your 66 day challenge), & am pleasantly surprised by the results of those too.. I’ve had to say goodbye to a few people, but have done so without feeling the usual guilt & anxiety that I was so used to previously, & others have been unexpectedly accepting & understanding, & our relationships have been uplevelled hugely as a result!
I’m now planning to eliminate my terrible habit of smoking cigarettes, & have been up & down a lot with this recently.. allowing my stresses & ego to rule me. I have heaps to shift on this one, but I’m feeling very determined to succeed & not give up.
You rock beautiful lady!
Much love, Wendy xo

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Fri, 20 Mar 2020 01:56:37 +0000

In reply to Anna.

Hi Anna,

I’m so pleased this resonated with you.

In regard to NARP http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp , do you know that you can do small monthly payments and begin the program straightaway? Also once trauma starts shifting out all opportunity opens up as well as emotional … including financial. They are deeply interconnected.

It’s great that you want to connect to the power of self-trust, and I’m so pleased that you are honouring yourself with No Contact and on your path to healing.

You are definitely on your way!

You are so welcome Anna, and sending you love, strength and healing.

Mel 🙏💕💚

By: Anna

Anna — Thu, 19 Mar 2020 11:41:48 +0000

This resonated so deeply for me. I found myself being suspicious and distrustful as I began to “date” again. In my mind everyone had ulterior motives. I am learning to listen to that inner voice, set my boundaries, and love myself.
That is no easy task due unhealed childhood wounds and abandonment issues. You have been such an inspiration. While I am unable to do the NARP program at this time, I hang on your every word and take them into my heart and soul. I understand that my healing is a journey that must come from deep within.
Learning to trust again is huge for me.
Thank you for showing us that it must begin with self trust. I was with my narc for almost 9 years. He reaped havoc on my emotions . A textbook case, exhibiting every awful behavior.
I was so “in love” I kept trying at the expense of everything else in my life. He sucked me dry. The pain I experienced was excruciating and debilitating. He would leave suddenly and then ghost me. After convincing me the week before that we had “the greatest love of all”
He made me frantic, non functional, broken.
I was so caught up in the cycle I couldn’t see any of it. And now that I am no contact and healing one residual effect is trusting again
Thank you for showing they way!