<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss version="2.0"
	xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/"
	xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/"
	xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom"
	xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/"
	
	>
<channel>
	<title>
	Comments on: Cognitive Dissonance &#8211; How Narcissistic Trauma Bonding Creates It	</title>
	<atom:link href="https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/cognitive-dissonance-how-narcissistic-trauma-bonding-creates-it/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" />
	<link>https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/cognitive-dissonance-how-narcissistic-trauma-bonding-creates-it/</link>
	<description>Devastated by a narcissist? Melanie&#039;s Narcissism blog offers support &#38; empowering tools to heal &#38; thrive after narcissistic abuse, gain a new life &#38; fulfilling relationships.</description>
	<lastBuildDate>Sat, 19 Feb 2022 08:11:41 +0000</lastBuildDate>
	<sy:updatePeriod>
	hourly	</sy:updatePeriod>
	<sy:updateFrequency>
	1	</sy:updateFrequency>
	
	<item>
		<title>
		By: Healthy		</title>
		<link>https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/cognitive-dissonance-how-narcissistic-trauma-bonding-creates-it/#comment-1265394</link>

		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Healthy]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 19 Feb 2022 08:11:41 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=7884#comment-1265394</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[The narcissist nearly three decades after breaking up with them, got in touch with some relatives to find out about my personal business whilst professing how reformed they are, owned a business and went to church blah blah something rather. Of course I had moved on, doing really well and blamo! they pulled some super nice yet super crazy criminal stuff to try to destroy my current relationship and career. They felt strongly apparently, that my sex life was harming the earth?!😆🥴 and that I was just “whipped” by my current allegedly narcissistic girlfriend and needed to be freed to hook up with them to lead a moral life. Right. Total nonsense and as usual, not splendidly surprising.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>The narcissist nearly three decades after breaking up with them, got in touch with some relatives to find out about my personal business whilst professing how reformed they are, owned a business and went to church blah blah something rather. Of course I had moved on, doing really well and blamo! they pulled some super nice yet super crazy criminal stuff to try to destroy my current relationship and career. They felt strongly apparently, that my sex life was harming the earth?!😆🥴 and that I was just “whipped” by my current allegedly narcissistic girlfriend and needed to be freed to hook up with them to lead a moral life. Right. Total nonsense and as usual, not splendidly surprising.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>
		By: Riley		</title>
		<link>https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/cognitive-dissonance-how-narcissistic-trauma-bonding-creates-it/#comment-1259247</link>

		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Riley]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 16 Nov 2021 00:18:24 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=7884#comment-1259247</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[In reply to &lt;a href=&quot;https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/cognitive-dissonance-how-narcissistic-trauma-bonding-creates-it/#comment-1244108&quot;&gt;Love&lt;/a&gt;.

I agree suing a man who emotionally abused me should legal as sexual abuse. They Are relentless prosecutors, evil 👿! Thankful to be free but struggling with feelings I betrayed my standards. Healing is happening🌺]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>In reply to <a href="https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/cognitive-dissonance-how-narcissistic-trauma-bonding-creates-it/#comment-1244108">Love</a>.</p>
<p>I agree suing a man who emotionally abused me should legal as sexual abuse. They Are relentless prosecutors, evil 👿! Thankful to be free but struggling with feelings I betrayed my standards. Healing is happening🌺</p>
]]></content:encoded>
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>
		By: Miranda		</title>
		<link>https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/cognitive-dissonance-how-narcissistic-trauma-bonding-creates-it/#comment-1251279</link>

		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Miranda]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 15 Apr 2021 07:04:09 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=7884#comment-1251279</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[Its a very big Bingooooo!🙏

Strange thing is I new already but now it has hit me hahaha great. Because of yesterday wrong experience. Moving on with NARP
Things and pings come in the wright time at the wright place]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Its a very big Bingooooo!🙏</p>
<p>Strange thing is I new already but now it has hit me hahaha great. Because of yesterday wrong experience. Moving on with NARP<br />
Things and pings come in the wright time at the wright place</p>
]]></content:encoded>
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>
		By: Love		</title>
		<link>https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/cognitive-dissonance-how-narcissistic-trauma-bonding-creates-it/#comment-1244108</link>

		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Love]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 13 Oct 2020 18:11:47 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=7884#comment-1244108</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[I know exactly what the dissonance is and it’s often experienced as psychological stress when we participate in an action that goes against our values or beliefs.

 It creates a double-bind which is a dilemma in communication. So if we receive two or more conflicting messages with one negating the other, we experience emotional distress. Example is when we know life is one way, then something so cruelly counter to our understanding happens so we might feel shocked or think something is evil. Or it can be like believing your spouse and that your relationship is good, then finding out something about them that contradicts what they have you believe. Cognitive dissonance is how gaslighting can make you feel crazy. It is something we can experience as a psychological contradiction where we then start to overthink or feel confused. Or it can be experienced as emotional and spiritual violations if you find yourself acting or participating in something that goes against your preference, truth, better judgment or conscience. 

Narcs create these complicated issues in us and others and it makes us all very unwell. This clusterf$?! nonsense takes a toll on the adrenals, immune and nervous system and can physically erode you until you have serious health problems. These are fascist tactics meant to imprison and torture you so they can feel awesome and free at the expense of your health and sanity. Narcs should be tried for attempted murder because the extreme mental, emotional and ambient physical abuse that we often can’t name or figure out, that is meant to cruelly disturb reality, can literally kill you by causing damaging health problems. 

So how about it?? Anyone know any good legal resources to help us create legislation around this???]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I know exactly what the dissonance is and it’s often experienced as psychological stress when we participate in an action that goes against our values or beliefs.</p>
<p> It creates a double-bind which is a dilemma in communication. So if we receive two or more conflicting messages with one negating the other, we experience emotional distress. Example is when we know life is one way, then something so cruelly counter to our understanding happens so we might feel shocked or think something is evil. Or it can be like believing your spouse and that your relationship is good, then finding out something about them that contradicts what they have you believe. Cognitive dissonance is how gaslighting can make you feel crazy. It is something we can experience as a psychological contradiction where we then start to overthink or feel confused. Or it can be experienced as emotional and spiritual violations if you find yourself acting or participating in something that goes against your preference, truth, better judgment or conscience. </p>
<p>Narcs create these complicated issues in us and others and it makes us all very unwell. This clusterf$?! nonsense takes a toll on the adrenals, immune and nervous system and can physically erode you until you have serious health problems. These are fascist tactics meant to imprison and torture you so they can feel awesome and free at the expense of your health and sanity. Narcs should be tried for attempted murder because the extreme mental, emotional and ambient physical abuse that we often can’t name or figure out, that is meant to cruelly disturb reality, can literally kill you by causing damaging health problems. </p>
<p>So how about it?? Anyone know any good legal resources to help us create legislation around this???</p>
]]></content:encoded>
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>
		By: S		</title>
		<link>https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/cognitive-dissonance-how-narcissistic-trauma-bonding-creates-it/#comment-1238937</link>

		<dc:creator><![CDATA[S]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 26 Jun 2020 06:51:53 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=7884#comment-1238937</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[In reply to &lt;a href=&quot;https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/cognitive-dissonance-how-narcissistic-trauma-bonding-creates-it/#comment-1232912&quot;&gt;R&lt;/a&gt;.

I am going through the exact same thing - this is a result of them getting in your head you need to find yourself and kick out the narcs voice and thoughts...these people are evil and bring no good to you or this world 
Look after yourself and importantly your girls they need you back as a healthy figure -I promise you once you break the narcs spell you will see a different and healthy future away from mind games and abuse....I wish you well and always look after number 1....these people don’t deserve our live they are sick.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>In reply to <a href="https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/cognitive-dissonance-how-narcissistic-trauma-bonding-creates-it/#comment-1232912">R</a>.</p>
<p>I am going through the exact same thing &#8211; this is a result of them getting in your head you need to find yourself and kick out the narcs voice and thoughts&#8230;these people are evil and bring no good to you or this world<br />
Look after yourself and importantly your girls they need you back as a healthy figure -I promise you once you break the narcs spell you will see a different and healthy future away from mind games and abuse&#8230;.I wish you well and always look after number 1&#8230;.these people don’t deserve our live they are sick.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>
		By: Melanie Tonia Evans		</title>
		<link>https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/cognitive-dissonance-how-narcissistic-trauma-bonding-creates-it/#comment-1233506</link>

		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Melanie Tonia Evans]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 08 Mar 2020 02:09:15 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=7884#comment-1233506</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[In reply to &lt;a href=&quot;https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/cognitive-dissonance-how-narcissistic-trauma-bonding-creates-it/#comment-1233407&quot;&gt;Sharon Hoffer&lt;/a&gt;.

Hi Sharon,

that&#039;s awesome that you get it!

Sharon, what you went through is so normal, sweetheart, please don&#039;t be hard on yourself. I totally understand how and why you would have had a meltdown.

Hun,what you need to do now is use either module one or the source healing and resolution module to reach in and find exactly what is triggered, load it up, release it and replace it. And I promise you that not only will you be free of these terrible feelings that are happening right now, but you will also go up to the next and highest level of your solidness and empowerment.

I hope that this helps, and please know that if you are a gold NARP member, at any time you can come into the NARP members forum www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp which is your 24/7 support network at any time that you need help.

So much love to you and you have got this Sharon!

Mel 🙏💕💛]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>In reply to <a href="https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/cognitive-dissonance-how-narcissistic-trauma-bonding-creates-it/#comment-1233407">Sharon Hoffer</a>.</p>
<p>Hi Sharon,</p>
<p>that&#8217;s awesome that you get it!</p>
<p>Sharon, what you went through is so normal, sweetheart, please don&#8217;t be hard on yourself. I totally understand how and why you would have had a meltdown.</p>
<p>Hun,what you need to do now is use either module one or the source healing and resolution module to reach in and find exactly what is triggered, load it up, release it and replace it. And I promise you that not only will you be free of these terrible feelings that are happening right now, but you will also go up to the next and highest level of your solidness and empowerment.</p>
<p>I hope that this helps, and please know that if you are a gold NARP member, at any time you can come into the NARP members forum <a href="http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp" rel="nofollow ugc">http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp</a> which is your 24/7 support network at any time that you need help.</p>
<p>So much love to you and you have got this Sharon!</p>
<p>Mel 🙏💕💛</p>
]]></content:encoded>
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>
		By: Sharon Hoffer		</title>
		<link>https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/cognitive-dissonance-how-narcissistic-trauma-bonding-creates-it/#comment-1233407</link>

		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Sharon Hoffer]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 07 Mar 2020 06:28:33 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=7884#comment-1233407</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[BINGO - I really do get it!
I’ve had this email sitting in my inbox for a few days, waiting for a good time to read it.  Well wow, it is so spot on for what I needed to hear right now!
You see, I left my narc of 18 years just over 14 months ago, and I have been doing so much work on myself, and making great progress, especially using the NARP program.
My ex and I still own joint property, a beautiful 3 acre piece of land we were building our dream home on, except the dream turned into a nightmare and I had to leave.  He still lives in the property and finally is agreeing to sell, probably because I’ve got a great lawyer.  
I still had a few possessions left that I wanted, so after him complaining about all the stuff left in the house, and saying he was going to throw it all out, I negotiated with him to let me come to the property for a few days, help him with sorting stuff out, and allowing me to get my stuff.  As long as he wasn’t there.  He agreed to go away for a few days, so last week, with my good friend in tow, I went to my old house and did what I’d agreed to do. Sorted stuff, gave stuff to charity, got my stuff.  I thought I’d be strong enough to handle this, that it would be good for me to say goodbye to my old dream home and let it all go.
Well, was I wrong! 
I had a huge emotional meltdown on the second day, and basically decided I didn’t want to, or couldn’t leave, wanted to stay there, couldn’t bear to walk away. I started bargaining with myself, making excuses for him, making plans to move back.  I knew I was crazy even thinking this way, but I didn’t care. I wanted back in, and nothing was going to stop me.  I also felt I was spiralling down into a hole but couldn’t stop myself and just didn’t know what was happening.
How could I have gone backwards so quickly, after all the work I’d done to move forward?!
Well, this article explains it.  I knew I’d reopened my trauma bonds, but now I truly understand what Cognitive Dissonance is.
And now I understand it, I can truly heal it.
Thank you again, Melanie, for your amazing insights and information on how to deal with these issues.  I am a NARP member, so I’ll will be heading to that course to do some modules for sure! 
Can you advise me which ones would be the best to do?
Many thanks, again, for your wisdom 🙏🏽❤️🙏🏽❤️🙏🏽]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>BINGO &#8211; I really do get it!<br />
I’ve had this email sitting in my inbox for a few days, waiting for a good time to read it.  Well wow, it is so spot on for what I needed to hear right now!<br />
You see, I left my narc of 18 years just over 14 months ago, and I have been doing so much work on myself, and making great progress, especially using the NARP program.<br />
My ex and I still own joint property, a beautiful 3 acre piece of land we were building our dream home on, except the dream turned into a nightmare and I had to leave.  He still lives in the property and finally is agreeing to sell, probably because I’ve got a great lawyer.<br />
I still had a few possessions left that I wanted, so after him complaining about all the stuff left in the house, and saying he was going to throw it all out, I negotiated with him to let me come to the property for a few days, help him with sorting stuff out, and allowing me to get my stuff.  As long as he wasn’t there.  He agreed to go away for a few days, so last week, with my good friend in tow, I went to my old house and did what I’d agreed to do. Sorted stuff, gave stuff to charity, got my stuff.  I thought I’d be strong enough to handle this, that it would be good for me to say goodbye to my old dream home and let it all go.<br />
Well, was I wrong!<br />
I had a huge emotional meltdown on the second day, and basically decided I didn’t want to, or couldn’t leave, wanted to stay there, couldn’t bear to walk away. I started bargaining with myself, making excuses for him, making plans to move back.  I knew I was crazy even thinking this way, but I didn’t care. I wanted back in, and nothing was going to stop me.  I also felt I was spiralling down into a hole but couldn’t stop myself and just didn’t know what was happening.<br />
How could I have gone backwards so quickly, after all the work I’d done to move forward?!<br />
Well, this article explains it.  I knew I’d reopened my trauma bonds, but now I truly understand what Cognitive Dissonance is.<br />
And now I understand it, I can truly heal it.<br />
Thank you again, Melanie, for your amazing insights and information on how to deal with these issues.  I am a NARP member, so I’ll will be heading to that course to do some modules for sure!<br />
Can you advise me which ones would be the best to do?<br />
Many thanks, again, for your wisdom 🙏🏽❤️🙏🏽❤️🙏🏽</p>
]]></content:encoded>
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>
		By: Bee		</title>
		<link>https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/cognitive-dissonance-how-narcissistic-trauma-bonding-creates-it/#comment-1233247</link>

		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Bee]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 03 Mar 2020 08:56:26 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=7884#comment-1233247</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[Bingo, I get it!
Best wishes, Bee]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Bingo, I get it!<br />
Best wishes, Bee</p>
]]></content:encoded>
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>
		By: Melanie Tonia Evans		</title>
		<link>https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/cognitive-dissonance-how-narcissistic-trauma-bonding-creates-it/#comment-1233234</link>

		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Melanie Tonia Evans]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 02 Mar 2020 23:45:02 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=7884#comment-1233234</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[In reply to &lt;a href=&quot;https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/cognitive-dissonance-how-narcissistic-trauma-bonding-creates-it/#comment-1233197&quot;&gt;Lea&lt;/a&gt;.

Oh Lea,

I so understand your dedication and devotion to your animals, and also the position that you&#039;re in.

Please feel my love and support as well as the beautiful energy of this community, to help you in your situation.

Mel 🙏💕💛]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>In reply to <a href="https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/cognitive-dissonance-how-narcissistic-trauma-bonding-creates-it/#comment-1233197">Lea</a>.</p>
<p>Oh Lea,</p>
<p>I so understand your dedication and devotion to your animals, and also the position that you&#8217;re in.</p>
<p>Please feel my love and support as well as the beautiful energy of this community, to help you in your situation.</p>
<p>Mel 🙏💕💛</p>
]]></content:encoded>
		
			</item>
	</channel>
</rss>
