Comments on: Do Narcissists Know They Hurt People?

By: Madeleine

Madeleine — Mon, 29 Mar 2021 20:11:02 +0000

My father abused my mother for many years. He was very jealous, and he wanted to control her. He got very angry and furious quickly. My mother cried all the time. He could leave the house in the middle of the night when he got angry and sometimes when he was driving the car he could scare my mother and drive like a maniac.
BUT, he had a lot of empathy. He felt bad after abusing my mother. He could feel strong empathy for the homeless, the disabled etc. He even helped the homeless by sending them clothes and money. My question is, is there narcs that can feel empathy? Does it sounds like my father is a narcissist? He does not pretend having empathy feelings, they are genuin.

By: Margie

Margie — Mon, 29 Mar 2021 11:43:58 +0000

The narc would laugh and smile at their antics. They enjoyed the insults, snide remarks, discrediting comments, both said publicly and privately. If I dared to defend myself, I would be punished till I apologized, which sadly I did for peace. I realized that some of the parts of my life the narc particularly went after were areas I was proud of and believed – my faith, my marriage, my friends and home. And it took Melanie’s videos and blogs to help me realize that it was all done out of sheer jealously. The narc had their own supposedly good life but they were never happy with what they had. And in their mind I shouldn’t have anything equal to or better. And if they perceived it to be so, it opened up an opportunity for emotional abuse to be hurled. No contact has been difficult but the relief in knowing I will NEVER be subjected to it again has been liberating!!!

By: Michelle

Michelle — Wed, 24 Mar 2021 21:24:09 +0000

This article was exactly how I was thinking about my N today as I walked and did a module. I released him as “dead to me” and saw him as Swiss cheese slowly gaining more and more holes as I continue to detach from him, mentally and physically. Moved into the spare room, can still be dinner companion and some conversations, but today I stopped believing anything out of his mouth. He wants and needs everything I have and I have nothing left to give him. I’m my priority now, I’m my focus now, and my life no longer has room for ugliness or hatefulness. Only love…he doesn’t vibrate at that level, so his Swiss cheese self is quickly dissolving before my eyes. Soon I’ll be moving out and then he will be mentally and emotionally fully out of my peripheral…dead to me…but no thoughts or emotions dead, not physically. I am no longer his source, I have closed that door and I already feel the life coming back into my body…I love me and support me, and I put me first now. I finally believe that to be my truth, after 6 years of hell.

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Wed, 17 Mar 2021 06:39:04 +0000

In reply to Edit.

Hi Edit,

what I would love to suggest to you is to google my name plus “narcissistic mother” “elderly narcissists” and “family narcissists” and I know that there are lots in those resources which can help.

I hope they do!

Much love to you

Mel 🙏💕💚

By: Edit

Edit — Tue, 16 Mar 2021 21:18:35 +0000

Dear Melanie,
After reading many of your articles, I think I realised that my mother is actually a narcissist and that is the reason why I chose my (now) ex-husband years ago… As all the others were saying a million times, the same exact things have happened to me as to everyone else but I was lucky enough to gain enough consciousness to go to an alternative therapist and she helped me out of this horrible marriage. So, no contact – although I figured out for myself that after lying just about ANYTHING you can imagine, (or I would say NO SANE person would lie about things that he did) I don’t talk to him, don’t ever meet him, so that part is fine. He has a new person to suck the life out of so now I’m safe, I’m sure he couldn’t care less about me. So, that’s a win after all!
Finally, my question is about my mother. I can’t do no contact, or can I? I love my father, so I wouldn’t dream of never visiting him again, but my mother creeps the hell out of me… She is so hateful all the time, gaslighting, scapegoating, all that jazz, nowadays I just laugh about it, but sometimes she gets to me and then….. Oh, my gosh!!!! Especially now that I have all this information from YOU and see the dynamics of it… So, I am constantly working on myself, becoming more and more conscious but I was wondering, do you have any practical advice for me?
Thank you for all the great work you have been doing, you are such a wonderul soul helping so many people!!!
Grateful if you can share some of your ideas!
Lots of love,
Edit

By: Peter@44

Peter@44 — Mon, 08 Mar 2021 15:43:39 +0000

Hi Melanie,
Thank you for this blog. As usual, it is enlightening and so good to read your words. As far as the ex narc in my life caring, that train left the station along time ago!
What I have left for myself, now, is the knowledge that I need to work on my inner life and develop a deeper and more joyful relationship with my inner being and that is my priority at this point. With the help of NARP I Have hope.🙏🙏🙏🙏
I can waste my time, and think, till I am blue in the face, about her changing or hoping that she would someday realize how much damage and destruction she has done to me, but it is worthless, as you would say, “stinking thinking”.
SHE DOES NOT CARE!!!!! Hurt for her is a “one way street” with the direction sign pointing right to her…. it was always about her and how much life has hurt her without realizing or caring much hurting she has inflicted upon others!
Thank you so much, for the suggestions, in this blog, that we can use to overcome our daily struggles with a narcissist.
I am so grateful to be here and to have this opportunity to learn from you and so many others in NARP.
Much love to you and everyone else! ❤️
Peter@44&LittlePeter ❤️🦋❤️

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Mon, 08 Mar 2021 06:48:35 +0000

In reply to Sue.

Hi Sue,

I can’t recommend enough coming into my upcoming Masterclass http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/masterclass where I can deeply take you through much understand as well as healing about all of this.

So that you can take your power, soul and life back. So that the pain and confusion can end.

I hope that this can help

Mel 🙏💕💚

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Mon, 08 Mar 2021 06:43:21 +0000

In reply to Holly Anne Thody. Wow that's crazy Holly Anne! Mel 🙏💕💚

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Mon, 08 Mar 2021 06:42:48 +0000

In reply to Kat M.

Love that Kat!

I agree!

Adore you Texans!

Mel 🙏💕💚