Comments on: Do You Still Feel Emptied Out, Exhausted and Powerless? https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/do-you-still-feel-emptied-out-exhausted-and-powerless/ Devastated by a narcissist? Melanie's Narcissism blog offers support & empowering tools to heal & thrive after narcissistic abuse, gain a new life & fulfilling relationships. Sun, 02 Jan 2022 20:11:03 +0000 hourly 1 By: Healthy https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/do-you-still-feel-emptied-out-exhausted-and-powerless/#comment-1261554 Sun, 02 Jan 2022 20:11:03 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=690#comment-1261554 Yeah and avoid those who are angry when you have a partner and happy and thriving when you don’t. 🥴😷

]]> By: Ida https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/do-you-still-feel-emptied-out-exhausted-and-powerless/#comment-1251350 Fri, 16 Apr 2021 14:29:54 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=690#comment-1251350 Great article. This explains why in my keeping no contact with the many narcs in my life why I’ve felt drained. This program is helping me along with my having a therapist that I meet with often. My having a therapist is one way to remind myself to do self care. I rationalized it as if I have to do the work on myself because I’m important to mem

]]> By: Sue https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/do-you-still-feel-emptied-out-exhausted-and-powerless/#comment-1117347 Fri, 14 Dec 2018 07:36:19 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=690#comment-1117347 In phoenix az I am broken out of energy living in a fog. Broken away from the narc I’m in my own home now. I need legal help he’s trying to sue me and take everything all because I care about him. I can’t believe I didn’t see it I just kept on believing he was broken and I could fix him. Lawyers or suppose other people think I’m so strong and why didn’t I see this why did I let this happen I just don’t understand and now I’m going to be able legal battle of a lifetime and I can’t even hardly pay my bills or take care of the simplest things in life I’m so mad at myself I’ve literally saved his life two times little did I know at those times he was planning on destroying mine for the past 15 years and my whole time with him I was trying to show him commitment loyalty I stayed too long I need help I don’t want to become a statistic. Anybody that knows me could tell you I don’t ask for help but I’m asking now and this will be my first and last time I publicly write anything about this. And if I do find help when I get back 2 me again I will be the person helping others

]]> By: Luann https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/do-you-still-feel-emptied-out-exhausted-and-powerless/#comment-11342 Sat, 14 Jul 2012 02:42:10 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=690#comment-11342 Hi-

I am really curious about illnesses that folks are referring to here.

Because during my situation, (‘cos it was not a relationship) I acquired a herniated disc in my lower back. Now I know this is a common injury and it could’ve happened anyway. But since it is part of the root chakra I sort of wondered if it manifested from my involvement with ‘him.’ Also, when we broke up I took myself straight to the ob/gyn and was tested for STDs as well as got a regular check. She felt something and ordered an ultra sound and MRI. And I have uterine fibroids.

These I know can come from stress and bad diet. In fact, although not the healthiest eater on the planet, I was much healthier until we got together. Plus with the constant adrenaline overflow too, I was in a constant state of stress. I’m sure that contributed.

As for taking care of me: well, today I took a walk after putting some new music on my iPod. It had been full of songs that reminded me of him and I had emptied it a couple weeks ago. And there it sat. Now it’s got stuff on it that has NOTHING to do with him. It’s percussion so it’s energetic and NO lyrics.

]]> By: Gale https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/do-you-still-feel-emptied-out-exhausted-and-powerless/#comment-7110 Mon, 14 May 2012 14:14:19 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=690#comment-7110 In reply to Theresa.

Here’s to getting more clever! I am stuck in the same way. How is is going? Is this even possible? Any advice? If you ignore them enough will they find someone else instead of destroying you?

]]> By: dee https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/do-you-still-feel-emptied-out-exhausted-and-powerless/#comment-5437 Wed, 18 Apr 2012 23:26:47 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=690#comment-5437 Only one year ago, i had my life ‘sorted’, and so i thought i was ready for a relationship. Wow, I could hardly believe my luck, after years of bad relationships, I had found the man of my dreams, and VERY quickly gave up my home and moved in with him. Well as quickly as my ‘dream’ man appeared, he disappeared, and became the complete opposite. Demanding, selfish, manipulative beyond anything I had ever experienced, it completely threw me sideways. His main aim was to remove me from everyone that I loved, my children and my adored grandson, it can only be described as hell. It resulted in me becoming homeless over christmas/new year, and despite that I still returned to the relationship (but not his home)several times, in belief that now I had identified his NPD, and he accepted that he had it and was seeking help, we could get through this together (in other words I could fix this). Its not possible, believe me. Even now (just this very evening) driving past his home I want to see him, make sure he is ok, but actually it is me that needs to be ok. I have ended up quite ill through all of this, and I so need to find peace of mind again. Lessons learned – if it seems to good to be true, it probably is…..life is for living and learning……and finally, my need to feel loved has come at a very high price, and so now i need to learn to love myself 🙂

]]> By: shabana mir https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/do-you-still-feel-emptied-out-exhausted-and-powerless/#comment-4370 Sat, 07 Apr 2012 15:13:53 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=690#comment-4370 Hi Melanie,
Thank you for sharing your experience with us.I have reached a point in my life where I really started to feel burnt out and fed up.For years I have done nothing but give,and you have highlighted a really valid point.A realisation that came to myself a few weeks ago, if you are at your most productive then you are acceptable.However when you hit that brick wall, it is very difficult to find support.I realised I hated my job and the person I have become.My behaviour patterns were also about pleasing people who really did not deserve my time.All these issues evoked emotions such as hate,resentment,jealousy and a sense of failure.My personal relationships have also been with the same type of man.Always indifferent,never pleased no matter what I do,never giving me that emotional intimacy and connection that I crave the most. Two weeks ago I took time out from work and decided to really think about things.Reflect on the past and think about my future.Where was I? Where am I?Where do I want to be?
I started to exercise on a regular basis,and went to a church in a little village,that is about a forty five min drive.Here they were offering mediation sessions completely free of charge.So I went along and took part.I have to say,for the first time in my life I sat still and silent for thirty mins.It was incredibly emotional and difficult.I then realised I was my worst enemy , not outsiders.I was fighting with myself.Things can never be the same now I know that.
Many thanks God bless

]]> By: Felicia https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/do-you-still-feel-emptied-out-exhausted-and-powerless/#comment-4000 Tue, 03 Apr 2012 02:17:51 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=690#comment-4000 Hi Melanie,
I was in a relationship with an N for almost 3 years and trying desperately to get out for 2 1/2 years of it! The emotional despair/abuse is the most painful thing I have ever encountered.

I finally decided on No Contact 5 months ago. After 2 months he called wanting to make amends. I relented. It lasted 1 week and I said no more and asked him to leave me alone.

There was another attempt 2 weeks ago. I realized that I have gained enough strength during that time through finding a support group, Love Addicts Anonymous, reading books and your web-site that spending even one evening with him was almost intolerable. I now see all of the phoney facades, the blaming me for everything and never, ever accepting an ounce of responsibility for his own actions and I actually felt a measure of compassion for he is a victim too; a victim of himself! At least I can move on and heal; his life will always be the same.

Hang in there; nourish yourself and make yourself come first! Everything you went through and how he made you feel was a LIE!!!!

]]> By: Val https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/do-you-still-feel-emptied-out-exhausted-and-powerless/#comment-3838 Sat, 31 Mar 2012 08:56:20 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=690#comment-3838 It is really inspiring to listen to the stories of finding peace and truth again.
And how quickly , as Janeen and others say, that fog and confusion and craziness come come back after any contact.
Christine commented about intending to relate with compassion /humanity/integrity-
I know when I used to do that it was met with rage or verbal abuse.
Janeen thank you for telling us about having coffee by the sea- how perfect-playing the piano and so on. Christine, thank you for telling us about your focus on creating your art.
These are the things that are real, and true and beautiful. The things we must hold tight to for our soul’s sake.
I love to run and play with my dogs and kiss my beautiful little ponies – all of whom know the secrets of life that I need to continually relearn.
I love to watch them all stretching their bodies out to open themselves to more sunshine and warmth and greeting each moment with joy. A walk in the park or a swim – ah like the first ever of their lives- leaps of sheer joy! Little ponies running toward me for the excitement of their breakfast or the freedom to run across the big paddock for the morning. To them -loving life and living in the moment and being at peace = is life.
What joyful guides they are- no fog, no confusion , no crazy days; no trying to figure it out……

Just purity of spirit and unconditional love
Each day, they show me how it is done!!

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