Just go no contact for 6 months. It will be all good there after, beleive me

To Alfred, I would like to say my relationship with a Narcissist was not an easy road. First he painted me a picture of a wonderful n happy life. For the first 7months I thought he hung the moon. Until I used his phone and it started from that day back 5 1/2 yrs almost 6yrs. He lied to me about so many other women and his actions told no lies. Than when COVID-19 hit he started a relationship with his now wife tht never ever exists. And tried and tried to convince me oh it’s just the drugs you’re on oh it’s just you, you’re crazy. No I’m far from crazy, he can call me crazy now for wasting almost 7 yrs of my life. When all this could have been prevented if he would have just told the truth because that’s not what I signed up for I didn’t sign up for a relationship like this. He knew from jump yeah I was a drug addict. I kept no secrets from him. Still to this very hour I could call him up n say you have a wife n two children. He denies them like they’re invisible. I’m sorry ma’am I am so sorry for you and me. Loving you has been the most beautiful but hardest thing I have ever went throw in my life. As I know myself Im hard to love too. But all I can do now is give you over to someone how isn’t going to put up with it for very long. All the women, all the website, all the disrespectful actions you do to women. It makes me hurt for you. Because he can love so beautiful, but he has an addiction as well. We both have addictions, but I keep asking why what did I do to deserve this, but it was all in God’s plan. He is who is in control at the end of the day. And my love for this man should have been the love I have for my children, but I chose him to love n it was all lies. And I forgive this man, whole heartedly I do. I feel bad for him, I want to help him to be the God fearing man that God called him to be. But he needs to work on his self n family. I wish the best for the family, cause God knows I love all of them. Things have been said n done on both sides n Im sorry for ever belittling, hurting his feelings,making him feel ugly about himself, I’m truly sorry. As for his wife tht “does not exist” which I have knew better for the day time I seen plays of her. Lol tht wasn’t her too right. I will not go there, Im sorry for you n your children to have to go through this. It sucks, hurts like a bad case of hemorrhoids. One day I would like to sit down n talk with her, but if not that is fine too. But good luck n keep God in on your side. Cause this is a true wake up call for me. I need to heal, as I’m sure you do too. He needs some healing as well. OlvinSerranoFlores I love you and I’m always going to love you. Your a wonderful person with a great heart, just please get back to what you know works an that’s is Jesus. Hurting me has helped me realize what my children have been feeling. And Im ashamed of it, but it’s not to late for me to change. To each and everybody who has commented and spoke their views on it. I’m thankful for it it’s helped me today. To anyone that thinks of me as a bad n hateful person, you opinion is valued. But please know my heart has a lot of love to give. I have hurt n done things I wish I haven’t, but I can change it. I can only try in be a better person than I was yesterday. To my family that has been there through this ride with me. Thank you n it’s means a lot more than I sure I’ll ever be able to show you. I love each and everyone of you. To my children, all I can say is I sorry for not being there for y’all. And choosing to not be the mother I know I can be. To the friends lost, which was only a handful, I think of and wish I could speak to y’all. As far as me wish him to hurt the way I have, I don’t mean that, I’m hurt n hurt people, try and hurt people to feel better. But really there is no hate for anybody in my heart. Now I most go give God sometime because I need him now more than I have ever ever needed him. I would like to end this with a prayer to each and everybody that has tooling the time to acknowledge my life. My God be with each and everyone of you, keep them safe, there families safe, and help each and everybody to walk in love, help anybody who is going through hard times, help those with health issues, mental issues and continue to guide each and every one to live a better and happy life, be with the ladies and gentlemen in our military and families, and most of all look over this country and keep us safe. Amen Kellee Asbell
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Hi Irene,

I remember your story from years ago!!

I’m so thrilled you are doing so well.

I’d love you to come on a Thriver TV with me … I know you could inspire many!

Many continued loving blessings to you!

Mel 🙏💞🦋

I am currently going through what is referred to as a severe physical nervous breakdown mostly due to the trauma, deception, betrayal, compulsive lying, consistent infidelity, mental/physical abuse, abandonment, gas lighting and blaming me for all his dark demons and inconceivable actions. I was with this man for 18 years and truly felt he was my soul mate as there was a bond and connection I had never experienced in the past. Of coarse, I gave this man my heart, soul, spirit, energy, money, out his needs in front of my own out all my energy into saving our marriage and with the pathetic delusion he would someday be enlightened, have an epiphany and be grateful for all I had done and all of a sudden appreciate me, cherish me and finally treat me the way I deserved to be treated and the way I had honored and treated him. The motivation, drive, passion for life, faith I had in people, my priorities, my self esteem and my desire to continue in a space I no longer felt was a “life”. I was in constant fight or flight mode. After being the sole provider for 15 years, reassuring him he didn’t have to work as I made ample money at the time but believed in teamwork. If one person is working full time time ans comes home exhausted the other party should contribute in other ways ( such as ensuring home is clean, food in fridge, errands ran, Maybe cooking or doing dishes or taking initiative to be helpful period without having to be asked but merely because the feel gratification in relieving their partner of excess weight and additional obligations. I would work sometimes 6 days a week 10-12 hour days come home and he would throw in the same hungry man microwave able dinner every eve and consider that one task sufficient. I took him my daughter on 4 vacations a year, take us on dates and fun excursions, I was the only one to plan and initiate anything and everything. Sometimes I couldn’t walk for an hour after waking cuz body was so sore from work and would ask him to please give me a massage and he would change the topic. Everything he wore from head to toe was provided by me! I would make him feel special on his birthdays, throw surprise parties, take him on an exciting and exotic staycation, would write heartfelt letters, bake him cakes etc. in the 18 years even after I would give him money so he did have the ability to put thought into a gift or to even just buy a card with kind words However, even with me giving him money he opted always to buy himself something or buy alcohol or to go out and drink at a bar abondoning me on 90 percent of my birthdays. Then became resentful towards me when I could no longer justify giving him ample funds to just get shit faced then come home days later to use me as a punching bag. In 18 years he maybe bought me one birthday card ( or rather I bought it but he actually used it for it’s intended purpose rather than for his alcohol or to save for a hotel room flr the next hole he had the opportunity to enter. never took me on even one date ( even when he had money, made money or received monetary gifts from mommy and daddy he never once bought me a heartfelt gift, any clothes, took me on any dates nor even just baked me a cake?! He would deflect and claim it didn’t feel right taking money from me to buy me a gift when it didn’t come from him ( but the rational can see right through this, I hope). Meaning how could he feel ok taking money for the opportunity for him and my daughter to come up with some fun plan to make me feel like the mere joy of him just planning or doing anything !! Many times I would explain to him that there are multiple gestures and things to do that cost little or no money. That I didn’t care about expensive gifts. It was solely the thought, time and effort and energy to to make me feel special that would have meant the world to me and that I yearned for and was neglected of for 18 years! I told him “ packing a romantic picnic using maybe during sunset or by candlelight using food already In Fridge, perhaps just running me a candlelight bubble bath, making me a $5 cake, me waking to a sweet hand written birthday note, a bike ride, a hike, a poem, maybe a relaxing and much needed 30 minutes massage. I sometimes created my own coupons or vouchers for him on holidays such as ( pass to skip turn doing dinner dishes, a gourmet meal of your choice cooked with love from your wife, an outing of your choice, a hubby day, sexual favors, we reside in Maui ( so to gather flowers or plumerias and wake tk that or just a hand written bday card expressing your favorite characteristic if of me, one thing you admire in me, his fondest memory in which we created together or just a simple compliment. Again these were all things I did for him and never was it reciprocated! It hurt deeply. After realizing the insanity of same conversations disputes and conveying my need that weren’t being met in this marriage and nothing ever changing and feeling like a broken record. In my many attempts to have deep constructive heart to hearts as to what he conceptualized to have an incredible marriage in which we enhance one another’s lives, bring out the best and vibrant energy out in one another, what we could do to be a better team, what areas he felt we could and needed to make more compromises on with amd for one another, what he was lacking in our marriage and what actions we could do different to make an honest and sane attempt to enjoy a fulfilling marriage for the both of us! Then he would just act as though he was distracted with phone, tv, or look at me with a blank stare, not elaborating, not engaged and clearly no intentions to ensure we are both happy. I finally came to the conclusion I mostly spoke to a brick wall, a man whom had absolutely zero interest in what was coming from my mouth. I explained to him thay he didn’t love me, he loved being loved by me! He doesn’t know the definition of true unconditional love and never would!!

I’m now self evaluating trying to understand how I let this happen to me? I’m smart I know red flags when I see them. How did I let him talk me out if the red flags I saw. How did I allow him to gaslight me the way I did. And how could I have brought an innocent life into the mess of a relationship. I pray for Gods strength everyday. I pray for his mercy on their souls. I pray that I am strong enough to see the victory God has for me. I’m struggling right now with it all because I don’t understand the WHY. Of course my Narc says everything I was told is a lie none of it is true. But after hearing what he was doing EVERYTHING for the past 3 years made so much sense. He’s moved on and gets to enjoy my son, and I’m picking up the pieces from the brokenness he left me in.

Hearing that I’m not the only one should bring relief but it brings sadness because it’s so sad that there are more people like this. I feel the pain of all who has encountered a Narc and I say sorry for your experience. I pray for the victory we all have waiting for us, and I pray my Narc can look himself in the mirror and forgive himself for the pain and damage he has done in the lives of the people who crossed paths with him. I am in the middle of my recovery and I’m taking it day by day trying to understand where my hurt is coming from and what I need to heal it. Even in the pain I stay focused on my victory. My life is more than blessed. I will always remember to praise God in the storm.