Hi Luisa,

I admire your courage and strength Dear Lady. It’s awesome that you are working with NARP http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp

I can’t wait to see your breakthrough growth as well sweetheart.

So much love to you.

Mel 🙏💕💛

Wow Melanie this is incredible, I have been to a refuge place years ago but I did no work on me I just kept running from disaster after disaster which my self limiting beliefs were taking me. I had huge illusions, I am starting to see the light now on what I need to do, which is heal my soul, to become whole on the inside. It’s going to take work which does hurt but the reward I will feel will be worth it. I have rape issues sexual abuse and a whole lot more that needs clearing. I am just in the beginning of my narp program. I can’t wait to find out who I really become. ❤️

Hi Jeanne,

I hear you and I understand your struggle because I remember it all too well myself.

This resource may help you understand the deeper truths of what is happening when we experience these terrible feelings of not being safe and secure financially.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=j7NtbtybdV0

What is so vitally important for all of us who felt like we couldn’t make it on our own or be our own source, is to heal that deeply within ourselves … then we can be the generative source of a healthier more powerful and safe reality.

I hope this video helps.

Mel 🙏💕❤️

For me putting the child in daycare and keeping my decent paying job was the right thing to do. I know if I had quit that the bills would not get paid and we would be in a shelter somewhere. Jump starting a career once you have dropped out to stay home takes time and support. The Narc even tried to con me into putting his name on the deed to my house. I just didn’t buy it and it made him furious.

I also learned early in the relationship not to have a joint bank account. He would check the balance and if there was any money in it he would drain the account! It didn’t matter if we had bills coming up. End of joint account. When we divorced (he filed but I ended up paying his lawyer to finalize the paperwork) I owed more credit card debt than my annual salary! My lawyer wanted to make him pay at least half of what I owed (I had put the cards all in my name so they would at least get paid and taken his name off). A credit card to a Narc is like “free” money. I declined knowing that it would just make things worse and paid them all off myself.

Despite all this – once I actually got rid of him – life began to get better both emotionally and financially. These people are just such bad news.

We never had a secure financial life and many days I was in tears about the uncertainty. I ended up getting a good job and at one point earned more than him. Due to my extreme low self confidence I suffered emotionally and started suffering panic attacks on a regular basis. But I kept on going with minimum support or care for my condition. I just had to keep on going. I took responsibility for all the problems in our life and always blamed myself for our problems. Typical! He always took all our major financial decisions, but I kept my own bank account and paid as much as I could toward the household because I always felt guilty. He got into a tiff with his employer and then he decided we should move to a smaller town. From there it just went downhill and I started suffering depression (but I did not know it at that time). Huge stress, because there were limited jobs and could not earn enough to cover our debt – (he bought a house we could actually not afford). I begged to move back to another city where there could be job opportunities for both of us. Eventually he gave in and I managed to get a job again and he started working from home. He declared that he will never work for a boss. Although he seemed to work very hard, he took risky financial decisions and we just went down and down a debt spiral. Shortly after my son’s birth in 2009, we rock bottom and I had to move with a small baby from one house to the next because we could not afford the rent. My baby was colicly, I was suffering post partum depression, and to this day I do not know how I coped. I had no help with my baby and had to look after him day in and day out, while husband is working on his business which just never provides enough. I begged, I screamed, I pleaded to please find stable employment but he stubbornly refused and just kept on going and going. Sometimes I did not had money for diapers. My parents, who also struggle, had to support me and my child for a couple of months. Promise after promise was made of how things will improve, I must just be patient and support him. I maxed my cards, got blacklisted, went under debt counselling and got my name cleared 2 years ago, just find out the other day that I am still blacklisted because of the house he bought previously.

Today, 17 years later, me and my 9 year old son, have no secure future. He lapsed his policies, medical aid and insurance (I only found out recently). I have put my son andme on a medical aid and it takes a huge chunk from my salary. It is as if I am waking up from a foggy dream if I look back now. He never hit me, cheated on me (or I do not have proof) and is a likeable person. I have always been the one with the emotional breakdowns, trying desperately to control him.

I have reached a point where I cannot bear his energy and have distanced myself emotionally and physically from him for the last 5 months. I tried to share and be vulnerable with him, but at last realised that it is as if I am hitting a brick wall every time. He does not do emotional sharing. I am seeing a psychologist to help heal childhood issues. Considering divorce more and more. My salary is ok, but not enough to support me at this point in time, so I am looking at getting extra job.

Am I financially abused?

Hi Nicola,

I am so pleased this has helped, and I’d really love to link you in to my free transformational healing resources if you haven’t connected already, https://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freecourse

I hope this helps even more.

Mel 🙏💕👍

Thanks so much for this. I had to pay my ex $20,000 to keep the house and he left me with a ton of bills. I was scared to fight in court. He put my brakes on backwards. I thought I was going crazy being a single parent of 4girls. I had no support,just the opposite. People turned against me. I had another relationship with a narc. Since then,unable to have a relationship. This is helping to heal. My children support their Dad,he plays victim. We are all doing much better but this has really helped.