Comments on: From Being Trapped To Your Personal Freedom – Part 2

By: Mary

Mary — Thu, 14 Oct 2021 11:27:57 +0000

Thankyou. These past 3 articles are really helping Melanie

By: Will

Will — Mon, 24 Nov 2014 23:43:17 +0000

Thank you so much for this eye-opening article! The more I read, the more I understand and the more I realize that I was in love with the woman that I thought she was.
I agree with Alice above ” It helped a great deal to shine a light of the true path out of that dark, dark forest.”

By: Alice

Alice — Sun, 02 Nov 2014 11:30:18 +0000

The unborn baby, I meant to say. X

By: Alice

Alice — Sun, 02 Nov 2014 11:25:33 +0000

Thank you. I’m through it and free of that monster. People like that are delusional and very, very convincing. I got through all of my life without ever being involved with one. Until 2 years ago. He was someone I knew and went out with 20 years ago. And I never saw it then. At all. Not once. His past persona was what he manipulated to trap me into that cycle of abuse. He is that kind of creep who is compelled to be the life of the party – likeable at a shallow level, drawing the fragmented like the pied piper – and with an IQ that fails to exceed double digits. Hence the talk. All talk. All about him. I was never one of the fragmented, I was always a strong woman with intellect and decisiveness and support that others relied on. So bizarre that I fell into that trap.
I’m a creative by profession and I have to say…when I finally DETACHED from him, I have experienced the most intensive and consistent (6 months already!) creative roll that I have ever experienced. I can’t believe it! Everything changed. All it finally took, after feeling so trapped emotionally, was the realisation that I never loved him. I loved the man I THOUGHT he was. The persona he continually tried to convince me of. The reality of him is truly unlovable. He is a monster. Pathetic.
Thank you. It took time to extract myself despite the intellectual realisations and rationalisations. And I’m very well educated and have always been very rational, decisive and pragmatic. It took time. And finally the acceptance of the realisation that he will NEVER be any different. But I already was different. I’m sorry for the baby that died while he screamed abuse at me and couldn’t even be there for me. But I rejoice that I am no longer connected to such evil sewerage. I flushed him. Thank you for your comprehensive insight and information. It helped a great deal to shine a light of the true path out of that dark, dark forest. I realised that I never actually loved HIM. The man I loved didn’t even exist. When he stole the couple of ‘love letters’ that he had written me, I realised his whole life was a pathetic lie. It took a lot of leaving, but only a single realisation.
I am FREEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!
Xx

By: Tricia

Tricia — Fri, 31 Oct 2014 06:33:18 +0000

This is a very good post. I’ve been away from my narc for a little over two years now and just really in the last few months have I felt that I’m over him. Maybe it’s because I finally saw him for the first time at a concert in the park. He didn’t see me and I made no attempt to make contact but I really felt nothing inside for him except maybe a little disgust. It was very good for me as I had been worried how I would react when we eventually connected! Anway, Melanie your blog and wisdom have been very helpfu to me and even though I don’t visit it as often, each time I do there is always some extremely helpful insights. For me it’s always been about insecurities and sitting with uncomfortable emotions and even though I still have plenty of work to do I’ve learned how much those things have to do with the emotional prisons I create for myself. Thank you for helping so many of us get out from a victimhood mentality and move towards true freedom!

By: Jane M.

Jane M. — Wed, 29 Oct 2014 22:29:00 +0000

Loved this article! Can’t wait for the next one, Mel.

By: kay

kay — Sun, 26 Oct 2014 16:10:30 +0000

In reply to Theresa Leach.

Hello Theresa,
Check out the legalities of the situation. You may be able to petition the court that has jurisdiction regarding the estate to order your sister to keep in communication. Additionally, any time she has any dealings with the estate, it has to be filed w the court, in most cases. Those may be public records. Do you have any friends who are attorneys? You might think about asking them what they think.
This situation w your sister is a blessing in disguise: it is showing you that there are some inner wounds that need addressing and healing. Do the work Melanie offers will be great for you! You can also do Yoga, Falun Gong, and keep your sense of humor up; watch funny movies, read funny books. Really begin to take care of yourself!

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Fri, 24 Oct 2014 10:53:55 +0000

In reply to Theresa Leach.

Hi Theresa,

you are very welcome.

The truth is “our anxiety and pain” is the issue – regardless of what source it is coming from – and this is what up-levelling ourselves is about.

It is about releasing the negative triggers within ourselves so that we are entering circumstances and “what we need to do” from a much more empowered space.

When we understand the Quantum Level and realise how our emotions are “connected” to everything in our experience – then we can know that our first priority is always to sort our emotional vibration so that “life” will shape itself accordingly.

And then it must – it is Universal Law.

NARP is not just for narcissistic love partners, many people have used it for Family of Origin narcissists, narcissistic bosses etc.

It is always about evolving and empowering ourselves, and then everything in our experience adjusts accordingly.

When you gain power, integrity and be-come the change you want to see then “justice” will be done.

I hope this helps!

Mel xo

By: Theresa Leach

Theresa Leach — Fri, 24 Oct 2014 04:04:31 +0000

Hi Melanie

Firstly a big thank you for all of your valuable information re Narcissistic abuse.

My situation has become such a “PSTD” issue for myself due to my sister’s personality disorder as she is currently appointed the Executor of our father’s estate.

My sister moved into my now late father’s home about 12 months ago with her 40 year old son who I suspect is also along the lines of being a sociopathic personality disorder (my father was too). As you may guess my sister and her son have a very dysfunctional existence together. They have always lived in squalor and filth. Sister is a hoarder and fundamentally doesn’t clean the house and my nephew refuses to help her with this sort of thing (passive aggression I would say) and lives with her free of charge.

I have had to call upon the services of a solicitor to make sure she moves along with the distribution of the estate. Early in the appointment of my sister being executor she uttered the words that she didn’t have to communicate anything to anybody in her position as executor with the settlement of my father’s estate. This rang alarm bells for me.

I have gone through a lot of emotional turmoil with being dragged into the craziness of my sister’s life. My mother passed away 4 years ago and was the last glimmer of sanity left in my family as my brother was diagnosed schizophrenic at age 18 (he is now 67).

My NARC sister and her son have been living rent free in Dad’s house all this time and will not discuss contributing any rent towards living in the house. I suspect that they, with their personality disorders, seem to think that they are entitled to being there free of charge.

Well there is a bit of my story and not the regular one of the NARC being a spouse, partner etc. Thank goodness I live with a companion who is supportive and understanding. BTW my sister tried to bad mouth my “partner” I think in order to get me away from my reasonably functioning lifestyle. I believe she was preying on me to be her NARC source and that my companion would get in the way and confront her with her wacky act-out behaviours. He is a therapist and not what my sister wants to be faced with in her NARC state.

Kind regards
Theresa (from Australia)