She should be able to answer my question herself and she hasn’t done it. All she has done is beat around the bush and redirect and put the focus on something else. For such a simple question and she cannot give an answer…..interesting. A very alarming thing and red flag to say the least.

I’m sorry, I wasn’t able to answer your question better because english is not my native language!! As I don’t speak it everyday, I’m not able to “fine tune” and know what words or expressions are used commonly in everyday talk or not, I’m sorry 🙁
But what I thought…as an example, if a normal ordinary person says to you “I love you”, he probably sincerely means it. But if a n says “I love you”, it cannot be true, because a n is not able to love and that expression he can use for example to manipulate. My ex n said “I love you” and even wrote it in message, but continued to abuse and later denied he had ever wrote so, even when I had saved that message. Gaslighting!
So my point is: I don’t think a particular single word or expression matters that much, it’s more like the context or the person who says it. So “it depends”, that is my answer 🙂
Even if Melanie used some “narcissistic” word, does that make her a n? Or the n more acceptable or humane? Nope, neither! Could it be that Melanie produces many long articles in a short amount of time and therefore does not have the time to ponder every single word so so so carefully? Could it be that she simply chose a “wrong” word by misstake? I sincerely don’t think it matters that much or will be the end of the world.

Because the answer is not reasonable and I am being gaslighted here. There was no answer to a VERY simple question I made and the attention and focus is being re directed at me doing something wrong or asking something wrong. Typical narcissistic behaviour to say the least. If replacement is a word used by narcissists then how come the article is using that very same word??? That means that ” replacement” is a commonly used word in general and not only by narcissists. The very fact one cannot get a straight forward answer to such a simple question is exactly the same behaviour a narcissist has!!!!

My question remains unanswered and no!!! this has nothing to do with me getting out of the “narcissistic trance”. Gaslighting that is!!

Yes she is right I can’t seem to handle being replace and what can I do to get him back Mel

If “replacement” is not a normal word to use, which you are corroborating, then why are you yourself using this same word in this article??? You yourself call it “discard and replace”. In my case it was the supposed narcissist saying this but YOU are using the very same word in this article and you keep avoiding the answer.

Just as an example you wrote in the article “And how to get past the excruciating pain of being discarded and replaced.” Well, then you can tell me how if replacement is not a normal word to use you are using yourself here.

I also want to add…I know Melanie is “anti-thinking” but deep-thinking is something that comes naturally to me and something I even enjoy so why not! I do know that thinking alone will not produce healing.

But I agree with you with this: “Looking inwards is ok but understanding what happened is equally important.”

One therapist said: often just “mere” awareness (=thinking, right?) starts to automatically shift things, even if we don’t “do” anything else!
I’m a journalist and therefore love to play with words and that’s why I’m inspired to answer to you! I thought, when was the last time I replaced something? It must have been a broken lamp (or the old light bulb inside the lamp). Something is broken/used etc. and then you replace it with a new, exactly similar one, to serve the same purpose.
If a dog dies, or you lose a baby or a relationship ends…and then thinking you “replace” it with a new one…I think that would be heartless thinking, totally inappropriate word! So yes, it is not a normal word for normal people in this case.
My conclusion: you can replace objects, items, non-living things, like light bulbs and batteries etc. You cannot replace living beings, like human beings and animals!
And why it is not possible to replace a human being? My beautiful conclusion is that because we are all unique, truly irreplaceable, irrepetible <3
So when a new relationship starts…it is not "replacing old relationship" but STARTing a brand new one!
I hope I answered your question and you got peace of mind 🙂
Life in itself is a unique experience, so precious…It's just not worth it to waste it with a n….you too would feel so much better without the toxic, draining influence that the n brings and spreads around.
I wish everyone here the very best!