Narcissists rarely stay single for very long, they simply hate being alone because they absolutely need the constant energy of somebody else to mirror back to them their significance.
The empty black hole they have inside means they lack an Inner Self that is self-supporting and self-generating.
So what do they do? They hedge their bets with other romantic interests in the time it takes to boil an egg! Moving on so fast to the next source of supply that you’re left reeling.
Let me share with you all the juicy information on how to get past the excruciating pain of being discarded and replaced in this latest Thriver TV episode.
Video Transcript
In today’s episode, I’m going to help you understand why narcissists are seldom single. How they still may be playing with you, manipulating you and hedging their bets with other romantic interests. And how to get past the excruciating pain of being discarded and replaced.
But just before we get into all that juicy information, I’d like to remind you to hit the subscriber button if you haven’t already.
Why Do Narcissists Get New Supply?
Let’s get started on this. So the first thing I want to talk about is why do narcissists always get new supply? Why can’t they be single?
There’s a really deep truth here and I’ve said it lots of times – a narcissist will usually move on in the time that it takes to boil an egg.
Narcissists hate being alone. They need the constant energy of somebody else to mirror back to them their significance. And I want you to understand it like this – a narcissist does not have an Inner Self that is self-supporting and self-generating. It’s like an empty black hole inside and narcissists need to affect people around them for good or bad. It makes no difference. They need to get energy in order to be able to prop up their False Self to literally, emotionally know that they exist.
I want you to think about it like this. The myth of vampires is so about narcissism. The correlations are incredible.
Vampires need energy, the blood Life Force of others. They need to suck energy to be able to be “alive” because they’re not alive. Narcissists are the same. If they don’t have a supply that they can bounce off and suck energy or their stuff or their resources or sex or their money or their contacts or whatever it is, well then they don’t feel alive. They feel dead on the inside.
Narcissists are not good at being alone. And you have to understand people are an energy source, they’re food, they’re objects from which they get narcissistic supply.
What this means is, even if a relationship (and it doesn’t matter whether it’s a friendship or a romantic relationship, or even a family enmeshment) starts to get shaky, if this source of supply can’t be controlled anymore or is losing too much energy and being destroyed and there’s nothing left to suck, or it looks like this source of supply is going to jump ship, a narcissist will start getting replacements set up.
That’s how it works. So they’ve got other sources of supply set up and they’re ready to jump ship, because they cannot go without an energy source.
How The Narcissist May Keep You On The Hook
So now this brings me to the next point, which is how a narcissist can keep you on the hook. Narcissists cheat, lie, and triangulate with new sources of supply and with you. So what they’re doing is they’re setting up a source of supply on the side whilst retaining you or being greedy and having both.
I want you to think “drug addict”. What does a drug addict do? A drug addict will set up sources of supply and make sure that one of them’s not going to dry out so that they can get their drug. And this is not about love. This is not about missing you. This is about getting low on narcissistic supply.
How triangulation works, is they may have sources of supply set up and they’re lying to them about you, and they’re lying to you about them, or they’re pitting you or them against each other so nobody will know what’s going on.
Now, I know you may find this to be horrific information and it’s so painful when you start to awaken and start to understand the truth that somebody could be lying to you, could be doing this behind your back. And the thing is, I really do believe that deep down inside we all feel like this and we feel like something’s not right.
I want you to know that I deeply understand what this is like. Because I personally experienced the triangulation and the lies, and the other supplies that are set up on the side. And it’s devastating when it comes to light and you find out the truth.
I’ve seen this happen with thousands and thousands of people in my community. One thing that I really want you to understand, whatever the narcissist delivers to you is usually the exact thing that is going to hurt you the most. Because that’s where they get supply from. And this is an energetic war that you’re in with a narcissist.
Your fear and pain regardless of whether you’re still physically in contact, I promise you he or she is feeding off that. We’re all energetically connected. It’s very important to understand that.
How To Recover From Being Discarded And Replaced
Which brings me to this point, which is how to recover from being discarded and replaced.
And as I just described to you, what is going to come up for you and what’s going to hurt the most are exactly your deepest, darkest primal fears. And these can be things like, “If I’m replaced, I’m going to die. If I am left, I’m going to die. If I’m being cheated on, I’m going to die.”
These are horrible, horrible, horrible primal wounds. And they can happen for both men and women, because this happens to men and women. And this can also be through a friendship that you’re feeling such abandonment or replacement.
It could be through a family member. It could be through a business partner. Narcissists do not have to just be intimate partners. So this is what we know and I want you to understand very, very quickly is whatever comes up for you is going to be your greatest wound. This is what the narcissist instinctually triggers with their behaviour.
Now, what’s the reason for this? This is another thing that if you can really embrace this and really start to get this at an early stage, it’s going to help you so much.
THE thing that is triggered off in you is the thing you need to heal the most. And that’s what the Thriver way to recover is all about. And my heart goes out to you because being abandoned and/or replaced are some of the deepest wounds that we would ever need to heal.
Now, what’s great is if you can hold this and face this and turn inwards to do the work on the exact thing that’s being triggered for you, I promise you the pain, the obsessing of this torture is going to start melting away for you.
Which means that you are going to come into an even deeper power within yourself, a deeper force of light and authenticity and truth. And what happens for all of us when we evolve beyond the trauma and devastation of our old wounds, is the people that represent them, you’re going to lose your attraction to them. You’re going to know that this isn’t for you. You’re going to know your deservedness, “I deserve better than that.” It’s when you’re in that trauma, it’s very hard to embody that and live your life like that.
But when you heal beyond the trauma and you graduate into a more authentic self-loving empowered self, you will look at that person that used to deliver that stuff and you will go, “Oh, yuck. Oh my God, what was I thinking? How was I feeling?”
And I know it’s hard to imagine that when you’re in this pain, but I promise you back then before I knew how to turn inwards and heal, I was exactly probably how you’re feeling right now. Stuck in the obsession, questioning myself, “What’s wrong with me? Aren’t I good enough?” And just going down the rabbit hole of trying to work out what the narcissist was doing, who he was with, were they actually having a better relationship and all of those things, which just kept me stuck in the trauma.
And since I discovered that this really is a spiritual call to heal those things within me that are not healed yet, I’ve been able to help thousands of other people relieve themselves of that, and graduate into a more whole, solid self-loving, self deserving center, and myself and so many others have gone forth into relationships that match that wholeness instead of narcissistic relationships.
Conclusion
I really hope that this has given you some hope so that you can get out of this torture. And what I’d love to do is help you understand what you’ve been hooked up in, what it actually means, how narcissistic it is, and also grant you some tools, some pre-tools that you can start getting some clarity, answers and relief with.
I want to offer you my Free Quiz, which is 11 questions that are only going to take you a couple of minutes to answer. And then that’s going to be backed up with the resources, which are free for seven days, specific to what you’re going through.
I really hope that this can help. And as always, I love answering your comments and your questions.
That was very helpful so thank you for that. But I had a question you said something about healing your trauma, abandonment and your feeling of being replaced, I know I have all that but how can I heal them? How can I feel that it’s not me and that there’s nothing wrong with me & that it’s not my fault that the narcissist replaced me?
Heba, Divine, Loving, Beautiful Being. You are so much more precious than you realize. Love, while you think, (only because you’ve been taught to think that by other, wounded people), that you are unworthy, the truth is you are highly overqualified to be the magnificent, radiating Soul Love that you are. Your Eternal Beauty is blinding to the eyes because it is so beautiful, vulnerable and powerful. You are so far from the weak, wounded person that you have been taught and trained to think of yourself as. I see your magnificent beauty.
I am plodding along having been taught so well that I was unworthy. But now, through exploring and trying out different healing modalities that resonate with me, I am learning and, weirdly and differently, starting to realize and experience my own true, magnificent beauty. Keep doing whatever healing work you need to do in order to get a glimpse of the magnificent Being that you already are. Namaste, Beautiful One.
Hi Heba,
the way to heal the trauma is the inner work with my NARP Program www/melanietoniaevans.com/narp
That’s how myself and so many others were able to release all of the traumas not allowing us to heal.
For more details about NARP I’d love to invite you into my free webinar http://www.melanietoniaevams.com/freewebinar
I hope that this helps
Mel 🙏💕💚
Yes she is right I can’t seem to handle being replace and what can I do to get him back Mel
Thank you so much Melanie.
It’s my pleasure, Patricia,
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
In my situation, it’s the discard of the children (4) and he knows that hurts me the most…
Hi Sandra,
Sending big love and healing to you and your children.
Mel 🙏💕💚
I thought my ex had depression as he kept cancelling my visit to his home and was monosyllabic and sad, but when I persisted and managed a visit saw various photo frames with our photos in had been tampered with. Same photos… nothing amiss. Shrugged it off. I was preparing to move in with him so was busy. One day I let myself in early to get a surprise meal for him and all the frames had new photos in them: of a new girlfriend. I was beyond gobsmacked. A quick look round and I saw other evidence of someone else having been there. I retraced my steps, waited for the actual time I was supposed to arrive and returned to find my photos back in the frames, the other girls détritus hidden. It took him two months to say he was leaving me but I’d been so forewarned I’d sorted out all the things I needed to by then. How’s that for a narcissist lining things up then?
Hi Carolyn,
That’s so great that you used that information to get prepared!
Love, strength and healing to you.
Mel 🙏💕💚
Incredible, keen, informative video Melanie. Thank you! Your work is amazing and helping so many people. Much love!!
Hi Nancy,
you are very welcome and I am so pleased that may work has helped.
Many blessings to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
Thank you Nancy,
bless!
Mel 🙏💕💚
Something I discovered but have only come to realise recently is that if a Narcissist doesn’t have Supply and they meet you and the situation becomes intimate they’ll have music on as they can’t stand the still of night, any night.
I remember questioning 2 of them about the music and the answer was identical, they couldn’t sleep in such a quiet house… in other words they couldn’t stand their own company, and being out of Supply at that moment they had to fill the hole with something else and at that moment music was it, most likely what one of the other women liked with their twisted sense of being.
Be aware… very AWARE if you come across somebody like this as it may save you a lot of heartache.
Mine always always has the tv on. He can’t sleep without it on. If I would turn it off after he went to sleep, he’d wake up and get angry about it. Never realized why, until I read your comment
It’s shocking how surprised they act when they are left after years of putting up with their crap, literally cleaning up their alcoholic barf, ex girlfriends still leaving them messages while they’re out until 4am. So hey the good news is…
you get to have all the freedom you want to behave as you want and the only difference is I’ve moved on and way too exhausted and over it to ever get hooked back in so keep on with ya bad self.
Dear teacher: From a recent encounter with a narstic (my word) work associate, and after viewing your excellent guidance here, I am thinking that narst-human crossbreeds sometimes miss their mark, as this one said I can’t commit and complete. Which didn’t hurt, and yet I reacted – but with samurai speed, clarity and accuracy, and a peace that shut him up cleanly. And yet there was something to heal. It just didn’t hurt. I’m having to assess it without the cue of emotional pain in the body. It is such a dull, worn-out, compensated pain, if it is pain. Hyde become leather so well tanned that the wound I know is there is correspondingly important. Refracted inside me underneath what he said. He missed. Yet I got it. Going way way back, and this I do sense and see the presence of. I got this with your pointilly pointing out the accuracy of mirroring between what I need to hear to heal, and what they need to say to feed off the reaction. One last thing: I’ve often noticed that the freedom in your self-expressing is conducive to the messages.Dear teacher: From a recent encounter with a narstic (my word) work associate, and after viewing your excellent guidance here, I am thinking that narstic-human crossbreeds sometimes miss their mark, as this one said I can’t commit and complete. Which didn’t hurt, and yet I reacted – but with samurai speed, clarity and accuracy, and a peace that shut him up cleanly. And yet there was something to heal. It just didn’t hurt. I’m having to assess it without the cue of emotional pain in the body. It is such a dull, worn-out, compensated pain, if it is pain. Hyde become leather so well tanned that the wound I know is there is correspondingly important, going way way back, and I do sense and see it. I got this with your pointing out the accuracy of mirroring between what I need to hear to heal, and what they need to say to feed off the reaction to.
One last thing: I’ve wanted to say that your free self-expressing is very conducive to your messages.
Hi Michman,
it is always such an indication of graduations in our healing when it just gets easier and easier to not get roped, triggered or manipulated into the drama.
You are on it!
Cheers to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
Thank you so much for this video Melanie. I’ve seen most of your videos and even streamed your workshops and this video seems to resonate with me the most. Narcissists target your deepest wounds and that what you need to heal, is so simple yet I just needed to hear someone say it. It all makes so much sense. Thank you!!
And “Lady” I commend you! Your story sounds like mine except he abandoned me and our 5 year old daughter. I should have been the one to leave after the years of partying alone, weekend trips, comments of “I don’t ever think about you or the kid when I’m not home” and those exact words when he left…”I want my freedom back”:
1 year out and I am now surrounded by family, strong, , healthy, at peace with what happened and looking forward to a beautiful future for me and my daughter without the darkness of an empty narcissist around us.
Hi Anita,
it’s my pleasure.
That’s great that this deeply resonated with you today.
Keep up the beautiful work of moving forward!
Much love to you and your daughter
Mel 🙏💕💚
Thank you Melanie for your work with survivors of narcissistic abuse. My father is a narcissist and my sibling is a malignant narcissist. My mom passed on a few years ago and now my father is approaching the end of his life. These events have unfortunately brought my malignant narcissist sibling back into my life after decades of No Contact. My sibling has run a decades-long smear campaign against me within our family and with anyone she can. She continually uses all sorts of vicious tactics to try to wound me. Because I withhold supply from her, she recently exploded in narcissistic rage at me in front of my father. The venom and lies that came out of her were shocking to me, even knowing what she is. I feel assaulted. What saddens me is that my father didn’t speak up for me. I know that as a narcissist he probably never will. It is so hard to love a narcissistic parent when they are incapable of really loving you back. I have felt abandoned by my family for most of my life. I watched my mother wither in her unhappy relationship with my father. I am working to heal the trauma bonds in my own life, and I am so grateful to you Melanie for helping us to heal.
Hi Isadora,
You are very welcome.
You are so right, being an n he is not going to defend you.
Big hugs to you and its wonderful that you are now turning within to heal.
It is your time and you so deserve this.
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
When I spoke for 1st time to my daughter about my relationship ,I described my feelings, my thoughts, his words that do not match with actions,love bombing, jealous behaviours,threats,empty eyes, …etc. My daughter was 23 years old. She answered to me ….Mum.. instead to be worried and anxious to be replaced ,start to be sorry for the next one…
Thank you Melanie. Your video is always giving me the reassurance I am heading the right direction (healing from many trauma).
I’m still recovering from grief (lost the false relationship with my ex and our alienated kids) and I can’t still think of the new relationship after three years I left my ex-husband. Surprisingly, I heard that he has got the new girlfriend already. It is a speed of light.
I guess he needs the new girlfriend not because he wants to make me feel miserable but he do needs someone to look after him physically. He is very lazy person and he needs someone willingly to do the chore that he doesn’t want to do day-to-day’s nitty gritty. (I’m so stupid enough to do all the hard work to get his validation or approval in order to please him.) He can only move his lips. He also need to convince himself he is still attractive enough to charm someone. He needs to convince himself so badly because I move on (file the divorce). It definitely damage his ego badly. His defense mechanism is very delusional and pathetic.
I feel much more relief to know that news because I don’t get hoover or been stalk by him anymore as long as he is busy to get his new supply from other source.
After the thriving recovery, I successfully change my narrative in my mind from “I’ve been damaged and destroyed” to “I dodge the bullet and now I am safe and become stronger.”.
Thank you for supporting all of us to get heal from the abuse.
Hi Mieko,
It’s my pleasure and I’m pleased that this resonates.
That’s so great that you are healing and empowering you.
Please know how welcome you are and much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
Melanie. I have found that one can conceptually feel or know something about a narcissistic partner and not be able to put a finger on it. You put these concepts into words that open ones eyes. You truly have a gift. Thank you
Hi Cheryl,
I’m so pleased that this helped explain for you.
Sending you healing and blessings
Mel 🙏💕💚
Mel, if we’re in NARP, what modules do you recommend for this issue of being discarded and replaced. I was just replaced in the family home with the new supply. It’s devastating and it hurts so much.
Hi Xian,
Please know that Module 1 and the Source Healing and Resolution Module are always perfect for any multipurpose trauma you are working on.
Also please know incredible coaching and support happens in the NARP Member’s Forum http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/member
I hope that this helps.
Mel 🙏💕💚
Hi Melanie!
What bothers me is that the ex n and also the latest man (whether he was a n or not, at least showed a lot of red flag behaviour)…when I tried to address/confront him about his troublesome (abusive) behaviour, he always fired back with this defensive line “but I’m not perfect/nobody is perfect” or “I’m just a man”. Well, I cannot argue with that statement, because it is actually 100% true: no one is perfect!
But that’s actually a clever line, because then it allows him to escape all personal responsibility about his actions and behaviour. I wasn’t looking for/expecting him to be “perfect”, but be decent, act and react in healthy ways if we are in a relationship, that’s not too much to ask for, isn’t it?
So I don’t know what I am supposed to do in a situation like that, where I’m engaged in an argument where I just can’t “win” (=to be heard, understood)? I think I already know your cure to this… 🙂 to stop interacting with this type of individuals in the first place! But sometimes it’s just so difficult, because they are excellent at messing up your mind/perception 🙁
Hi Julia,
the simple and ONLY answer is don’t be in a relationship with someone like this.
Don’t argue, don’t even grant them any oxygen, energy or your lifeforce.
Your life is not about convincing people to be in a healthy relationship with you, it’s about you making the conscious choices to be in a healthy relationship with yourself … which means…
.
THAT CRAP is not your reality!
It’s the inner work that breaks these self- defeating patterns we keep replaying.
I can’t recommend NARP http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp enough for that.
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
Thank you Melanie, again, for keeping me on track and waking me up!
But what to do when it appears to be, or is currently, my reality? The toxic guy keeps on calling me. It’s not really harrassing, but I may have accidentally given that “but we can still be friends” vibe which encourages him.
Everytime I think I’m “done” (healed), some unhealed stuff still comes to surface. How annoying! (or good?)
Just today I realised: I am and want to be nice, caring, benevolent, loving etc. person. But today I realised for the first time, it is working against me? 🙁 It allows others to take advantage and hurt me. This man appears to be lonely and I pity him. But pity cannot be a good base/motive to start/maintain a relationship? :/
Why it should be my duty to “rescue” him? But that’s what I have been doing…
Because in the past, men have dumped and rejected me, and it broke my heart and it hurts…I’m very careful to not do the same to others. That’s why I feel I cannot be firm and end connection with this man. It’s crazy, why I care so deeply about his (and other abusive men’s) emotions and do not want to hurt him, when the fact is, he has hurt and downright abused me many times? And hasn’t cared about MY emotions at all while doing so. Gosh, what’s wrong with me?!
I reflected: I seem to have this hidden fear, if I stop being “nice” and good person…do I then become “bad”? I worry, if I’m firm and set boundaries, people will perceive me as “bossy”, cold, unpleasant…and then (and this seems to be my biggest fear) they will not like love, like and connect with me…and I end up all alone (huge fear).
Wow, I see I just uncovered a lot of crap!! 🙂 But unfortunately this probably has been my inner program the past decades.
I was always proud of myself, I think being decent, warm, caring, loving, tolerant, understanding, diplomatic, sweet, forgiving, are some of the most precious and humane human qualities. And they are, aren’t they? How could I preserve and embrace all these qualities in me, but at the same time be firm and set boundaries? And not let people walk all over me and abuse me? As I currently act, I don’t know how to keep me safe.
It’s interesting what you talked about “not my reality”….it made me think. I may have operated (even if unconsciously) with this mindset…that he needs to change his attitude and actions, (and “he will if I just try hard and manage him to “get it”)
and THEN my reality will change too. Good that I just typed that line, to see how silly it sounds.
Maybe sometimes this kind of things actually can happen and people can change…but yep, maybe not realistic in this case. It is always little bit shocking to realise, that many people (abusers), actually do not feel any need to improve or change for the better, that their dearest and highest goal in life actually is not a healthy and harmonious relationship at all.
Melanie, could you please please respond to some of the thoughts I expressed here? I think I really managed to get to the root of the issue now!!
Hi Julia,
It’s my pleasure!
Julia truly this is about having the discipline to say “No more” and stop taking the contact, and then turning inwards to face and heal what it is that you need to do the work on.
Sometimes we just haven’t had enough of the pain yet to commit to that ..
Until we do!
The root and the healing of this is the inner work. The best way I know to do this is NARP http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp
Nothing that I can intellectually tell you or point out to you is your inner work..
Maybe, just maybe you will decide for you it is time to do this and free yourself .. once and for all.
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
Well, I think inner work AND intellectual understanding plus practical actions steps/advice is all equally important. If information and intellectual understanding is useless, why do you bother to write articles and books about this subject at all?
I feel hurt, that you just insulted my intelligence.
Hi,
It is interesting how the word “replaced” is used in the article/video.
I am not an English native speaker and I am wondering – when I was with the person I believe to be a narcissist he literally told me “you are a replacement to my current relationship”. He was married and making me believe he wasn’t happy and wanted to leave his wife.
Is the word “replacement” a normal term people would use when talking to another person in a romantic environment? This word really made me feel so bad when he used it. I was thinking – what the hell? this sounds as if you replace food items in a supermarket. So I am just wondering if people normally use the word “replacement” when talking to someone else.
Hi Laura,
No its not normal!
It is such an objectifying comment – absolutely like talking about an “item” rather than a flesh and blood human being!
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
I am confused – if it not normal to use the word “replacement” as my narcissist told me then why are you using the word “replaced” in this article?? You state “discarded and replaced”.
Hi Laura,
replaced, replacement – arent they the same thing?
Truly dear lady your healing is not about working out whether or not what a narcissist says is “normal”.
It’s about turning inwards to heal the parts of you that er still caught up in the obsessions of trying to get answers … instead of healing and moving forward.
I highly recommend coming into my free webinar http://www.melanietoniaevans.com to be able to get clarity and true healing
Mel 🙏💕💚
He also told me I was an option. I guess this was another red flag.
Just days before meeting in person he literally told me:
“you could be a sociopath trying to kill me while I peacefully sleep dreaming of something innocent”
I asked what he thought of me and his reply was “you are vulnerable”
Not sure what I was dealing with.
That is exactly what I am saying and it wasn’t asnwered – if ¨replaced¨ or ¨replacement¨ are words that relate to objectification and typical of narcissist people why are you using these exact same words in your article???? You state ¨discarded and replaced¨. Why use the word ¨replaced¨??? that means you are using the very same word a narcissist uses. So then ¨replaced¨ is a common and normal term, which was what I precisely asked in my very first post.
And I am sorry, but I disagree. Looking inwards is ok but understanding what happened is equally important. And what I am asking here is – why do you tell me the word replacement is typical of narcissists if you yourself use that same word in your article?
It feels that you are beating around the bush and not answering the precise question I am making.
Dear Laura,
I understand you. But what is your question, the exact source of your irritation? From my experience I say that…when dealing with a n, as hard as it is, if he is/was very dear…I think the shocking thing to understand, remember is that n looks like a human being but actually isn’t a human being. At least not humane. Normal logic and rules, reasoning, morale, do not apply here at all. What the n said, or someone else said or wrote…it actually doesn’t matter or doesn’t really change anything.
* Is the word “replacement” a normal term people would use when talking to another person in a romantic environment? This word really made me feel so bad when he used it. I was thinking – what the hell? this sounds as if you replace food items in a supermarket. So I am just wondering if people normally use the word “replacement” when talking to someone else.
It is not normal! You intuitively felt it was not normal, therefore it made you feel bad and confused. Trust yourself, your gut feeling! Try to understand that basically nothing that comes out of the mouth of the n is normal! Unless it is something trivial like talking about the weather etc.
I also want to add…I know Melanie is “anti-thinking” but deep-thinking is something that comes naturally to me and something I even enjoy so why not! I do know that thinking alone will not produce healing.
But I agree with you with this: “Looking inwards is ok but understanding what happened is equally important.”
One therapist said: often just “mere” awareness (=thinking, right?) starts to automatically shift things, even if we don’t “do” anything else!
I’m a journalist and therefore love to play with words and that’s why I’m inspired to answer to you! I thought, when was the last time I replaced something? It must have been a broken lamp (or the old light bulb inside the lamp). Something is broken/used etc. and then you replace it with a new, exactly similar one, to serve the same purpose.
If a dog dies, or you lose a baby or a relationship ends…and then thinking you “replace” it with a new one…I think that would be heartless thinking, totally inappropriate word! So yes, it is not a normal word for normal people in this case.
My conclusion: you can replace objects, items, non-living things, like light bulbs and batteries etc. You cannot replace living beings, like human beings and animals!
And why it is not possible to replace a human being? My beautiful conclusion is that because we are all unique, truly irreplaceable, irrepetible <3
So when a new relationship starts…it is not "replacing old relationship" but STARTing a brand new one!
I hope I answered your question and you got peace of mind 🙂
Life in itself is a unique experience, so precious…It's just not worth it to waste it with a n….you too would feel so much better without the toxic, draining influence that the n brings and spreads around.
I wish everyone here the very best!
If “replacement” is not a normal word to use, which you are corroborating, then why are you yourself using this same word in this article??? You yourself call it “discard and replace”. In my case it was the supposed narcissist saying this but YOU are using the very same word in this article and you keep avoiding the answer.
Just as an example you wrote in the article “And how to get past the excruciating pain of being discarded and replaced.” Well, then you can tell me how if replacement is not a normal word to use you are using yourself here.
Well, the only “answer” at this point is you to get out of this “narcissistic trance” asap!!
Until to do, you are not able to “hear” any reasonable answers anyway. I say this kindly. Been there.
Because the answer is not reasonable and I am being gaslighted here. There was no answer to a VERY simple question I made and the attention and focus is being re directed at me doing something wrong or asking something wrong. Typical narcissistic behaviour to say the least. If replacement is a word used by narcissists then how come the article is using that very same word??? That means that ” replacement” is a commonly used word in general and not only by narcissists. The very fact one cannot get a straight forward answer to such a simple question is exactly the same behaviour a narcissist has!!!!
My question remains unanswered and no!!! this has nothing to do with me getting out of the “narcissistic trance”. Gaslighting that is!!
I’m sorry, I wasn’t able to answer your question better because english is not my native language!! As I don’t speak it everyday, I’m not able to “fine tune” and know what words or expressions are used commonly in everyday talk or not, I’m sorry 🙁
But what I thought…as an example, if a normal ordinary person says to you “I love you”, he probably sincerely means it. But if a n says “I love you”, it cannot be true, because a n is not able to love and that expression he can use for example to manipulate. My ex n said “I love you” and even wrote it in message, but continued to abuse and later denied he had ever wrote so, even when I had saved that message. Gaslighting!
So my point is: I don’t think a particular single word or expression matters that much, it’s more like the context or the person who says it. So “it depends”, that is my answer 🙂
Even if Melanie used some “narcissistic” word, does that make her a n? Or the n more acceptable or humane? Nope, neither! Could it be that Melanie produces many long articles in a short amount of time and therefore does not have the time to ponder every single word so so so carefully? Could it be that she simply chose a “wrong” word by misstake? I sincerely don’t think it matters that much or will be the end of the world.
She should be able to answer my question herself and she hasn’t done it. All she has done is beat around the bush and redirect and put the focus on something else. For such a simple question and she cannot give an answer…..interesting. A very alarming thing and red flag to say the least.
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