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There is an inherent evil in narcissists, an evil that spreads darkness.

You have probably witnessed this first hand and have had to live with the impact of it. I know I did.

I didn’t always believe there was β€œevil” in the world but now I understand this phenomenon differently and I see it for what it is.

In my latest Thriver TV episode, I will take you through this dynamite topic so you can understand how the psychic virus that is spread by narcissists affects you and how you can win against this toxic force.

 

 

Video Transcript

In today’s episode, we’re going to be talking about a pretty deep and dark topic, which is how a narcissist is inherently evil and how that has manifested and affected you. Why evil is actually synonymous with powerlessness, which you may not have realized, and how you can take your power back in the face of evil.

But before we get going on this dynamite topic today, I wanted to remind you, if you haven’t already, to make sure you click the subscribe button and also remember to like and share this video, if you find it helpful. Let’s get going.

 

How A Narcissist Descended Into Evil

So let’s have a look at how a narcissist descended into evil. What does that mean?

Once upon a time, I really didn’t believe in evil, but now what I understand as what we would identify as evil is the extinguishing of a False Self.

A True Self, which is a wholeness and a wholesomeness is a connection, is oneness to God, Source, higher consciousness, life force, infinite intelligence, goodness, love, whatever you want to call it.

So evil, I believe, is darkness. It’s when there is a disconnection from the light, from Source. And when we have an individual who is disconnected from God, love, Source, well then they’re in the darkness.

They’re in a False Self, which is not a part of oneness, it’s an entity, an egoic entity of me versus you. It’s an entity of separation from the oneness, from the Source and we may look at it in a biblical sense of satanic Luciferian. Now, whether that’s an artificial intelligence or an actual entity, I’m not here to have a religious discussion, I’m here really to talk about dark and light.

But what has happened with a narcissist is as themselves, as a True Self, which means an authentic self, they don’t believe for whatever reason that they can have their needs met and be effective. So what they’ve done is they’ve disconnected from authentic self to be a False Self, which is separated from the oneness and then that takes on the darkness.

 

How Evil Affects You

What happens when we’re in the presence of evil or that darkness? What happens when you’re actually involved with a person that has disconnected from Source and the oneness, who’s in the darkness, we know.

Chances are, because you’re watching this video, you know exactly how that feels. It feels like a black ink that’s permeated your cells. It feels like you’re poisoned. It feels like you have a literal psychic virus, an entity that’s living on within you.

And even if you get away from that person, you feel like that entity, that dark entity is still living on within your very being. So what happens when we’ve been poisoned at that level, when we’ve been infiltrated by that evil, that darkness?

It means that we – through that black ink, through that infiltration, through that poison – get disconnected from that oneness, from that Source. We don’t feel safe to be in our authenticity and our True Self.

And what this has been described as by people, by Paul Levy, and I’ve written about this before, it’s called Wetiko, which is a virus of unconsciousness. And when somebody’s disconnected from Source, which a narcissist is, well, then they’re in the unconsciousness of, β€œI am not the generative Source of my own experience.”

This is what happens when we get disconnected from Source, we get out of that personal power and we believe that life is happening to us and that we’re a victim and that we’re helpless, which is actually not the deeper truth.

But in that place of victimization, this is where we feel trauma, this is where we feel wounded. This is where, because we don’t believe that we have power or the ability to be ourselves and be safe in our body and in life and with situations and people, we’re going to put up defense mechanisms.

And it’s so interesting because whenever we’re trying to defend, it’s coming from a place of fear and false beliefs, which means the things that we’re trying to defend and keep ourselves safe from – from a position of fear – means that we’re going to keep unconsciously generating more of the patterns and people in situations that we fear, and this takes you further away from God, Source, higher consciousness.

In that separation, in that disconnection, what is happening there is that you are not able to be at one with the power of Source and Life Force and pro-life, and creating health and power and truth and expansion.

You’re cut off from that, which means you are on your own, having to pit yourself against life in a fearful way, which is what a narcissist does.

A narcissist does it from a place of maliciousness and also not caring about how it affects everybody or what they do – conscienceless behaviour.

That’s not you. You still have a conscience. You’re not malicious, but you’re cut off from support, power, synchronicity that’s going to help you, and even miracle.

 

Why Is Evil Synonymous With Powerlessness?

So, you can take back your power. This is the most important part about this because evil is actually synonymous with powerlessness.

Why is that the case? I’m just going to tell you this; God, light, Source, consciousness, always has the last say. The light wins always.

Evil is false power. It’s fear, it’s hatred, it’s pain. It’s parasitical. It feeds off these things. A False Self is not a True Self.

A True Self is connected to Source sourcing power through true Source. A False Self is cut off in that. They don’t have their own energy Source.

So what does a False Self need to sustain itself? It needs your fear and pain. It’s a parasite. It needs to suck your terror, your confusion, your fear, your heartbreak, your pain, your resentment, your anger, whatever it is. Whatever is your negative emotion, a False Self needs that to suck off, to get the power to exist, to hurt you.

And this is a thing because when you detach from that and you do the work inside you to heal, you take your power back and the illusion drops. The fear goes, and the more you anchor into true self-power, you start to view this parasitical creature or creatures or groups or whatever it is that you know is operating as a False Self pathologically lying, trying to scare you, trying to get you into a powerless, helpless victimized state.

The illusion drops, you see the truth, and you know that that person, people or group are actually scared creatures behind the curtain, hiding behind a front. These are actually scared, terrified people that can only exist and operate if you’re in fear.

When you take your power back, you see the truth, that the light wins.

And this is where the myth of vampires comes in. There is so much truth in the myth of vampires. It is talking about narcissist, sociopaths, and psychopaths is what the vampire myth is all about. That this is not a True Self. This is not an entity that can sustain its own energy force. It needs to suck energy out of people.

And when you wake up to the truth and you no longer consent to that, and you no longer hand your power and your fear away and consent to being a sacrificial lamb on the altar to a parasite or a narcissist, which means going along with it, hooking in trying to force them to change or wake up or treat you decently, rather just detaching and saying ­– this is not my reality.

I’m not going to play, I’m not going to say it’s okay. I don’t consent. I’m not going along with this anymore. I’m going to detach, power up and move on, and create my true standing up for my rights and who I am.

When you do that, you will know how powerless this evil is, this entity is.

So I hope you can feel this cellularly in your body. I hope that you understand what I’m talking about in regard to taking your power back. I’ve seen it work in my own life and thousands of other people’s lives as well.

How true this is, how you will cut off the narcissistic supply, which is your fear and your pain and your anguish, and that person has got to get out of your experience when you power up. Because like a vampire with your bright light, you’ve seen the movies – they cringe, they have to crawl away, or they may even start disintegrating. They cannot be in the light of an authentic, True Self. They cannot be in the presence of God, higher consciousness and Source.

 

Conclusion

All right. What I would love you to do, if you want to take this further, I offer you my free quiz, which is about the 11 Tell-Tale Signs of a Narcissist.

And what this is going to do, it’s going to help you confirm if you have been with a narcissist, what level of narcissistic abuse evil you’ve been dealing with, and it also provides you with seven days of information to help you navigate your way out of this crisis powerfully, authentically.

So I really hope that this has helped. And as always, I look forward to answering your comments and your questions below.

 

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Commments (79) + Leave a comments

79 thoughts on “Why Are Narcissists Evil?

  1. I firmly believe this is the best video you have ever made. My soul leapt at the words you said – I get it now…I will take my power back from this blackness. I have felt just as you said – like my light was just sniffed out, a shell of my being – thank you Melanie for all the wonderful work you do ! This one is a keeper that will be on daily rotation for me so that it REALLY sinks in.

    1. Proverb 22: 24-25 Make no friendship with an angry man, and with a furious man do not go, Lest you learn his ways and set a snare for your soul…..exactly what Melanie says in the video…. you become brainwashed by the narcissist so much so that you compromise the basic good and loving principals you were born with in your true self…..their evil permeates you right to your soul and it is the most heinous crime they can commit against you…..praise the Lord that this evil is out of my life forever…..

        1. Dear Melanie, thank you so very much for your talk today especially. You are a true light yourself. It is difficult to see the truth if you are still in a situation which I am now out of, but today it clarified so much to me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart ❀️
          Dutch girl

      1. Hello Mel.
        Loved your email and your spot on with what you write here.
        I now know where the saying ‘a wolf in sheeps clothing’ comes from, so similiar. Much love xox

        1. Ur teaching was very helpful. I was going back and forrhcwith myself oncticleavw him or not. You have helped to to make my decision. Thank u so much for the reading

      2. Love your post, Alex. The darkness will not prevail. I left the toxic vampire 3 and a half months ago after 29 years of marriage and giving blood toil, tears, and sweat, but he didn’t get my spirit.

    2. Thank you Melanie.
      So true.
      I need to heal from this narristic,gaslighting person.
      They have maliciously stolen my 40 years of hard work and tried to completely ruin me.
      My husband and his mother.
      Set me up to ruin me.
      I am away from the situation,though I have some good days and some really bad days of not having anything.
      I have been homeless,living here and there and doing my best to heal from all the trauma,abuse of the narristic total evilness and abuse.
      Blessings and Love Michèle

      1. Michele, you are a very brave woman, you have your life back and I hope you can find a home where you will be safe and loved.

        I had no idea I was dealing with narcissistic abuse from my mother and my ex husband, now even 20 years later I find this message from Melanie so powerful, I am still healing but I am stronger then ever.
        Dealing with other narcissists now in everyday life…I can see through them and they dont scare me anymore. Its a great feeling!!

      2. Hi Michele,

        My heart goes out to you and please know that you can heal and come back from this.

        When you release the trauma from within Michele, that’s when healing and life force can enter.

        I promise you that there is more than hope.

        Sending you Love, blessings and healing

        Mel πŸ™πŸ’•πŸ’š

  2. This is also my favorite video of yours yet and will also be on a daily rotation for me to keep moving forward in getting my power back! Thank you so much!!

  3. I 100% agree this was your most powerful video and absolutely relevant for me. I was saying β€œYes! Yes!!!!” and β€œAmen!” and β€œExactly!” throughout the video.

  4. Oh man I needed this today! This is incredible. I love you Melanie! I wish I could give you a great big hug! Thank you for shining your light so that we can get through this and shine our lights. Sending so much love!!

  5. Omg Mel that was amazing. You still are number 1 in my book. You are a life saver. Thank you for all you do.

    1. I know the answer is probably ‘no’ but do you offer 1-on-1 zoom or Skype sessions
      I can’t do this alone

      1. Hi David,

        my one-on-one sessions are very exclusive simply because I don’t have a great deal of time for one-on-one work.

        To find out about them you can email [email protected]

        My strongest suggestion for you would be to get involved with NARP http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp which is much less expensive and a lifetime of resources plus an incredible community of Thrivers who will help you with your recovery.

        I hope this helps

        Mel πŸ™πŸ’•πŸ’š

  6. I could not have detached from my ex narcissist without your help, Melanie. Listening to you right now I see my journey. It was incredibly painful. I still have a bit to go. Thank you!

  7. Every time I feel like I am the Narcissist, you share something that reassures me I am not.

    God Bless you, Dana…

  8. Just yesterday I was talking with a friend, trying to explain NPD from my own experience. I ended up saying ‘this person is evil” since I couldn’t describe or express all the inhumane things that were done to me. I knew the other person thought I was being overly dramatic, but internally, the admission that I was living with evil filled me with dread. I’m still working on separating completely. I am so grateful for your video as it has given me clarity and a better, more balanced view of evil. Thank you once again.

    1. Hi Jenny,

      that is such an apt description of it!

      You’re very welcome and I’m so pleased that this helps bring you clarity and power.

      Sending you healing, courage and best wishes in this challenging time.

      Mel πŸ™πŸ’•πŸ’š

  9. Your philosophy is so healing, because it makes perfect sense. It just reminds me of the real life star wars. “The light always has the final say,” and that the only way for non light is to suck from it. To fear being light, to having our own selves because others want, and for a narc. to do such incredibly decimating devaluing of such light. They’ve got to trick you somehow. It’s a perfect system. Until we know, be light, do not allow for the trick to occur. Be fabulous, beautiful and never undermined or dominated by someone who has no proper connection to you. Thank you for your work, Melanie.

    1. Hi A,

      I’m thrilled that you felt healing energy in this video.

      You are very welcome A, and thank you for your wonderful comment.

      Sending you Love and blessings

      Mel πŸ™πŸ’•πŸ’š

  10. Melanie, your words penetrate simultaneously with consistency on many levels. You are genuine, therefore credible, and that alone gives you the kind of authority that lets you share with others how this is done. I just want to say thanks so much for offering your courage and clarity. I’ve been checking in with you for guidance for awhile now, because I know you’re the real thing. You are a sister, and much loved! Stay beautiful and keep well. Thanks so, so very much, again!

  11. What I find so disconcerting about these dark entities is their levels of pretentiousness. How they pose so well at appearing like decent humans when they are unfeeling malicious at their very cores. The depths of their evil acts was nothing I ever imagined possible in my life and the revelations keep coming.

  12. Thank you Melanie. I have disconnected completely from the narcissist, and everything that you say is completely true. I wanted to share this aspect of the narcissist that I lived with for 20 years, and I found it interesting, and it may help others as a warning. I love light shining in through windows and any openings in a house that makes it lighter and fresher. The narcissist man I was living with built a huge verandah around our house that was so big that none of the natural light could come in. I asked him one day whether we could put a couple of sky lights in, and he just went on about how it would be really complicated to get through all the rafters, and too expensive. He built an extra room onto our house that connected with my daughter’s room, saying that this room could be a guest room. It was never used for that, and he put all his stuff in it, and literally started piling all his stuff up in front of her window. She could not see my garden anyway because of the room he had built, but he was trying to boarder up her window as well. We lived on a big property, and he had holiday house as well, that was situated on a beautiful lake. He started doing the same thing, building a huge verandah around the holiday house, so none of the natural light could come in, and this house became dark as well. The only real happiness that I had was my children, and my garden. I am an avid gardener, and when I first moved in with him many years ago, I also noticed that he loved any plant that took over, and choked other plants. I pulled them all out, and he became very angry, and went on about it for literally weeks. I now realise that the plant that took over everything, and choked other plants was what he would do to others, and that is why it triggered him so much. Myself and my children are away from him completely, and we now live in the light, so much light, and my second garden can be seen from every window, and we are so happy. It just goes to show that there are warning signs from the Universe, even in the plant kingdom.

    1. Hi Anne,

      you are very welcome.

      I am so happy for you that you and your children are now away and living in the light.

      it is very very true that there are red flags everywhere with these people!

      Things that just are not normal and do not add up!

      Much love to you and thank you for your share

      Mel πŸ™πŸ’•πŸ’š

  13. I called my ex narcissist wife a “demon incarnate”. She is a creature of the “black void” and “a professional victim”. She has a human body, but whatever is within is not human, but something of a lower order.

    Upon entering our home, some have said that there evil within our home. I thought those statements and people to be weird.

    Years after I separated, I had no contact, however I could feel the “evil” on my kids and I could feel it on those that had been around the ex. Those statements no longer are weird to me.

    The last meeting I had with my narcissist 23 year old daughter, I told her to never return to my home, she is no longer welcome. It took me over an hour to get the sense of evil out of my home after she left.

  14. Thank you Melanie. Your emails have really enlightened me to the narcissists in my life, even to where I was becoming like them. Thank you for setting me free.

  15. WOW Mel, that was the most powerful and helpful truth talk to date. I love synchronicity and I had just come to the conclusion that I had been poisoned last year from the sick, pathologic, cut off from Source vampire I had been with. I could literally FEEL the tainted energy flowing throughout my my body, mind, heart, and spirit. Thank you for sharing this powerful truth! I can’t express how grateful I am for you and the entire MTE team!
    Love and Light
    Cloud WomanπŸ’–

  16. This just blew my mind! Having battled with an N-mother and a year later, still recovering from a relationship with a friend who turned out to be narcissistic, this filled an almighty gap in my understanding. Even after therapy, there was an explanation missing – this very sophisticated concept has helped me to understand what drove that behaviour, the lacking within that individual, what always made me feel so ill at ease. Thank so much for helping me take that step further in my recovery. Blessings to you, Tori x

  17. May seem Woo Woo to some. Makes perfect sense to me. I used to awake with hand print bruising as though I had been pinned down. Now I am away, that darkness must surely now begin to shrink away, more & more, from the light of my truth. A truth I am sharing…regardless. Love to all x

  18. I left the narc two days before this Mother’s Day. He has recruited others to help him. He is causing financial abuse. There was attempted arson & they tried to blame me, while I was in the hospital. 5 or more people were in my apt illegally, while I was in the hospital. When, I got home, I was treated poorly. Turned around & went back to the hospital with 222 blood pressure. No, one will answer my questions & I’m thinking of getting a lawyer.

  19. I agree with everyone. This was brilliant. Don’t know about the best because I think they are all brilliant. I share with many the narcissist ex-husband, mother, sister and countless other very problematic people in my life. I’m trying to figure out if my ex-boyfriend is one. He’s been giving me the silent treatment for ages despite my efforts to get him to communicate. He’s either very very hurt and scared from the past or a narcissist, and I switch from one conclusion to the other on a daily basis. I’m still in love with him and want desperately to believe he really loves me. The good news is that at the moment I have walked away and I’m staying away. If he gets in touch, not sure what I’m going to do.
    The thing is I had a nasty shock this morning. Felt like I’d been touched by evil and this article was perfect timing. I have a male friend who has had designs on me. I cannot reciprocate and we always end up going our separate ways because of it. He has got a bit nasty from time to time but nothing serious. Because of my ex-husband sleeping with all my friends and my sister ( no-one takes me seriously), I literally have no friends or family anymore. I was crying over my ex-boyfriend to my grown up daughter and it just felt wrong. So I got back in touch with this male “friend”. Told him what was going on with my ex-boyfriend had a bit of a cry and everything seemed fine. He was very supportive. Seen him a couple of times since then and we’ve just had a chat and a laugh, the usual.
    When I was explaining what had happened with my ex-boyfriend I was showing him the texts I sent, it was easier for him to read for himself. That was two days ago. This morning I read a text he sent me last night. It was a text which I had sent to my ex-boyfriend along with a really weird message. He drinks and smokes way too much and I think that accounts for it. But he clearly sent himself one or more of the texts I sent to my ex-boyfriend. Why on earth would someone do that? It really gives me the creeps and I know I can’t have anything more to do with him.
    So here I am alone and friendless again. I do have complete faith that things will change for the better. In fact I know they will. My daughters support me and my son needs me. I have a lot going for me. I’m out of the victim mode, and reading Melanie’s articles has helped so much. I really want to say thank you. What she does is fantastic, it’s like she knows exactly what you’re going through. One time when I was upset and posted on here I got a supportive message back, and it really helped and meant a lot to me.
    Thanks so much Melanie

    1. Hi Sharron,

      Thank you for your lovely comment!

      Hun, I would really love you to turn inwards to heal and then I promise you those connections to your ex or other males keeping you stuck and in the merry-go-round will end. And you can then go free to start generating a relationship that will honour and respect you healthily.

      Have you checked out NARP http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp ? Truly if you love my articles, doing the real Quantum inner healing will blow your mind … In a wonderful way.

      Sending you Love, healing and breakthrough

      Mel πŸ™πŸ’•πŸ’š

      1. Thanks so much for your reply Mel, it genuinely means a lot to me. I have thought about the NARP programme many times and I think one day soon I will give it a go. I would need to be fully committed and completely ready though I think.
        Previously because of the financial mess my husband left me in it was out of the question. It’s been three years now since we split. The divorce came through last summer which of course he made extremely difficult and which I had to pay for. It’s taken a long time to get back on my feet. My ex-boyfriend made my financial recovery very difficult too. Anyone would think I was a complete fool to do what I did for him, it was crazy really and can’t go into it here. I loved him though and we go back over 40yrs, since I was 16yrs old. I just couldn’t walk away and let him destroy himself and I also wanted to protect his mother. Not that I’ve had much thanks for what I did. Infact she can’t stand me anywhere near him. What is it with people?
        Need to take a deep breath now!
        I fully take on board what you said and I am in a better position now. It’s all down to timing really. Also I don’t and in fact can’t do Facebook because there’s too many difficult people out there who would cause problems. Whenever I try it, it’s never long before I have to shut it down, so I’ve just given up with it now.
        Sorry for going on a bit, you must be a very busy person.
        I will definitely give it a go Mel, I know for sure I would benefit from it.
        Thanks again for everything you do,
        Sharron xx

  20. Melanie, This makes sense. I have often thought that narcissitic type people can’t tolerate goodness. Is that what you are saying? I think narcs fake goodness and push badness onto the good, seperating goodness from the good. Unfortunately it goes on for a long time before you realise what has happened.
    Doing your healing and feeling So much better. Very different. Thanks

    1. Hi Linda,

      I’m so pleased that this resonates with you.

      This is absolutely correct!

      I’m thrilled for you that you are purging the trauma and the darkness and being able to anchor in more Light.

      You’re very welcome and much love to you

      Mel πŸ™πŸ’•πŸ’š

  21. Your amazing Melanie, every time I’ve been pondering a situation or talking it over with friends you post another perfectly timed video, your timing is impeccable, God has been telling me all week, that as light i have nothing to fear, like when you take a light into a dark room the darkness disappears, we Simply have to walk out our Light on this earth, Blessings Col

  22. Heartfelt thanks to you, Melanie. You speak the truth. You are a dynamic and powerful voice which must be listened to. You are an Angel of Light who has guided me out of the deep shadows where my spirit has been lurking for decades.. Being a NARP member has changed my life. Miracles truly happen.

    1. Hi Joseph,

      I am so thrilled for you that NARP has helped so much.

      We are the miracle to ourselves once trauma can be released.

      Many blessings and much love to you Dear Man

      Mel πŸ™πŸ’•πŸ’š

  23. Does anyone have that feeling that they should have known better that they saw the signs but ignored it? This is a big thing for me to move away from.

  24. hi Mel. Truly your best yet.Thank you so much for being in my life .Your messages have been my life savers and turned my whole life around .You are doing wonderful work being there for people like I was when there was no one else who understood.I can’t thank you enough .xxxxxxYou are beautiful on every level.

  25. I’ve been in the healing journey a couple of years now. Clearly some concepts for me are more difficult or slow to learn (or unlearn!) and to believe!
    I had such aha-moment today. I hope what I want to say will help someone else too!
    Up until today on some level a tiny part of me still believed that the abuse I endured was at least partially my own fault. All this talk about codepedency and how I had this trauma and therefore I attracted this abuser whose behaviour matched my wound. This is of course all true…but at the same time, it also implies as if I was somehow partially to blame.
    And all these ideas “it takes two to tango” and in a relationship, both partners create/are responsible for the dynamic in the relationship. It’s true, but this only applies if both partners are NORMAL!
    I read advice from a website, it was a women’s shelter for women who have experienced domestic violence. And then I had this massive light-bulb moment and felt relief. I realised the abuse was never my fault, at all, in any way!! It’s not my fault or responsibility at all. The abuse happens because the abuser chooses to behave that way. Or even if it’s not a conscious “choice” but some sick inner drive to behave so. Not because of who, what or how I am, what I say or what I do. And I have no control over an abuser who behaves this way.
    The situation (abuse) escalated to the point where I felt I could say, something equally trivial and non-personal, as a silly example for example, “the sky is blue” or “the weather is cold in winter”…and he would give me two weeks of silent treatment because of that. That was the eye-opening moment for me…when I realised this madness. The abuser will always behave abusive ways, it is about him and not about ME. I do not trigger his bad nature any more than his good nature, his character traits are his and his alone.
    In the past, of course I tried to tip-toe, walk on eggshells and be people-pleaser with him, to prevent his abusive acts. Now when I type these words, I realise how sick that is. That I need to control MY behaviour, in order to keep me safe, because this other adult person is not able to control his behaviour by himself. How fucked up is that?! Why would anyone agree to be in such a “relationship” when the world is full of healthy and nice men perfectly capable for a normal relationship…and the reality is, I was in this kind of sick relationship for years!!
    Uff…But is it always wonderful, when these moments of awareness come and shine the light that chases away the darkness πŸ™‚

  26. So true and helpful Melanie. You have a fantasic way of saying what we are feeling or have felt in the past. Putting it into simple words and clarifying our fears so that we can understand them and move on. My narc has been away from my life now for 3 years but I still need reassurance from your videos etc as it helps me keep focused.

    I miss seeing your little cat on your videos, I hope you’re ok now.

    Love Su xxx

  27. Hi everyone,
    I happened to found this poem, in a context that had nothing to do with n abuse, but I was astounded how well it describes also n abuse situation and especially thriving after that. I was like oh gosh, just like me! (after n abuse and a couple of other abusive relationships)
    I’m not sure if I have permission to copy-paste it here, but you can google it!
    The poem is called Autobiography in 5 Short Chapters, by Portia Nelson. I loved it!

  28. Thank you for your video; it is exactly what I needed today. Last year at the end of February, I told the narcissist I had lived with for 5 years to leave my house because I could not take his cheating, stealing, lying and devaluing any more. The devalue was the final straw for me. One week later, he set 3 fires in my basement that did a lot of damage to my basement and the things stored down there. The smoke destroyed every piece of furniture in my house and 4 different restoration companies told me it cannot be saved and the smoke smell will always come back. He denied setting the fires but there was no one else who could have gotten into the house to do it. He tried to deny that he did the arson but it was just another lie and an example of how evil he could be. He also walked out on his dog who he brought to my house as a 5 week old, though he knew I did not want a pit bull or a puppy in the house to ruin the rugs. She was so traumatized by the fire and cried for an hour after he walked out the next morning so I decided to keep her instead of traumatizing her further by abandoning her also. He did not train or socialize her and she is terrified of strangers but we moved on to an apartment that was okay, though noisy, before an awful narcissist moved in across the hall. He yells at me and curses all the time and now calls me awful names and I let him get to me and curse right back, then feel bad because that is not who I am. I decided today that I have to stop letting him bully me and make me feel bad and sink to his evil level and have to find some way to tell him not to talk like that to me any more. I called him an asshole here because that is how he acts but I have never said something like that to anyone except him. I won’t pretend I don’t curse but never before to someone’s face, only behind closed doors under my breath. He has had awful screaming and cursing fights with his woman friend–they sit in front of the building and scream with a curse in every other sentence where everyone can hear them, including all the children who live in our building and the one next to it, even with the windows shut. It is ugly and uncomfortable but their problem. I can’t let him do that to me and don’t want to get sucked into his ugliness anymore. Your video helped strengthen my resolve to stay emotionally distant from his evil, demeaning ways and not answer back in his style. I have detached a lot from the narcissist I lived with and was feeling better about moving on and regaining my strength and peace and then this asshole moved in. He is always noisy, slams his apartment door and the front door of the building all day long, stands in front of my living room windows and yells to the man upstairs when Dave is sitting on his balcony for a cigarette break and his dogs sit on his window sills barking and growling in a menacing way and push the screens out because he leaves the windows open and they scare me but are not always there like he somehow manages to be when I go in and out of my apartment with packages and groceries or to take my dog out. She snarls at strangers because she is so scared of them but his dogs bark too and sound and act menacing. I know most people are scared of her but she has calmed down a lot and often is shaking or backing up while she is snarling to get away from strangers, not lunging at them like his do. She is generally very sweet with me and curled up at my side on the sofa or bed next to me and gets upset a lot less when I am gone for a few hours. She used to get so excited when I came back that she would jump on me and the turn in circles in front of me and hit both knees with her hard head, then with her whip-like tail but she does not do that anymore. She is nasty to delivery men and the complex maintenance men and still barks at the handyman who has been here several times to help me with some projects. I am trying to find a new house that will feel like a permanent home in a way this apartment never could but it has been a difficult and disappointing process so far. I started looking months ago before he moved in and the pandemic restrictions on house showings slowed down the real estate market but listings for sale are limited and go fast.

  29. Melanie: You do not know how long I have prayed for answers and help. I felt I was on top of a mountain screaming for help and no one listening….I prayed to God for a light in this darkness and I found you….You hit the nail on the head and I have continued to go back to the drama….do not know how to get out safely and the abuse ramping up….Thank you for your insight and loving way you have approached this subject…no one knows how to deal with this Evil…,and I have looked it in the eye and my spirit is so unsettled…
    With Love. PAW

  30. Thank you, Melanie! I have managed low contact with my mother and sister for 21 years. The last year my father was alive, I was unable to see him, even though he lived two doors down from me, because of the narcissistic performance of my mother and sister. They had him believing I was the one doing all the evil things. Thankfully, because of his friend, I was able to see him the last 6 days of his life. They had lied to him again, putting the blame on someone else and he apologized to me, still not knowing the truth. I just told him it was okay, that I knew what was going on. It’s now been 2 years of no contact and life is soooo much better!
    My mother and sister claim to be Christians and are very involved in their non-denominational church. I have known that you can’t be a narcissist AND a Christian, but putting in words really gives a deeper understanding to it.
    Thank you again!

  31. I’ve always thought that. It creates pain and trauma as a gateway to your being to create more of it and separate you from the light. When you clear you close its access. I also believe that the more powerful the light is in you the harder it tries to disabled you hence the narcissistic experience, hey! It can’t let you freely be your divine powerful self, too much of a threat. I have invoked the help of the archangel Michael with this and have received it. Spirits guides will watch your back and guide you too if you ask them and open up to the subtle intuitive plane of existence which is hard to do clogged up with trauma. I feel that this path of clearing trauma is the path back to what was described as the Garden of Eden where you want for nothing in the infinite bounty of source/God/whatever you call it.

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