Comments on: How Narcissists React When You Leave

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Wed, 24 Feb 2021 08:40:29 +0000

In reply to Faye.

Thank you Faye,

much Love to you

Mel 🙏💕💚

By: Faye

Faye — Mon, 22 Feb 2021 23:21:21 +0000

Love your work Mel — Always Spot on

By: Vee

Vee — Tue, 11 Aug 2020 16:30:07 +0000

In reply to Karina. Hi there, I think he might be having affairs. My ex was the same. Found out he had another life. He was getting his supply elsewhere. The home that I created was good for his ego and he therefore kept me around. Until I caught him. All hell broke loose.

By: Laura

Laura — Sat, 16 May 2020 02:16:22 +0000

In reply to Brenda.

Melanie, I have a similar story. It would be impossible to summarize here, suffice to say that it was a long term marriage where he never changed, and was so aggrieved that I was the one that filed for divorce that the first words that came out of his mouth was not “what can I do to save the marriage”, but “I will get what I’m entitled to”. Commence courtroom drama with over $70k in attorneys fees and counting… he wanted lifetime alimony, child support, half my pension/retirement, half my house, etc, etc. He was on dating websites before he was willing to figure out custody. He will drag me through the court system forever, 11 more years until my little one is 18, and then I’m FREE. FREE. FREE. Unfortunately I am successful in my career, and have taken a huge hit financially, incapacitating really. I am his source, he will rage at me until he finds another source and I will suffer emotionally and financially until then. Lucky for me I have a true loving partner now, completely opposite of the narcissist. Best part is that my children adore him. Life has to get better!

By: DeeDee

DeeDee — Sun, 24 Nov 2019 04:41:20 +0000

OMG, what do you do if you have a history and two kids with the narcissist and he sleeps with your sister?

By: Kiki

Kiki — Sun, 08 Sep 2019 05:44:06 +0000

Came upon your website tonight after another wonderful breakup from my narcissist. 17 years together turns out hes been bi the whole time not dissing. But has cheated several times, been on dating hook up and gay apps and websites and phone hotlines the whole relationship. The more open we have gotten sexually the more that has been exposed. I have cheated more recently and although his cruel hateful words behavior and mental abuse implies to me that he doesn’t want me he insists he loves me and wants to be with me yet called a whore worst wife ever just to mention a few of his favorite. The more I step away the more it’s clear his words are a projection of himself and he feels judged and doenst want to he with me to judge him nor to answer to. When I give him what he wants he does more hurtful things and insists that it’s me tearing apart our family because I’m a whore and want to live a whore lifestyle. I find myself financially stuck, mentally broken and one step closer to insanity. I dont want my daughter to view our relationship as love or what is acceptable from another person in a relationship. I try to lead by leaving to show that just because people may love each other doesn’t mean they need to be together. My husband in return has turned my daughter into thinking I’m all to blame and that I’m wrong to leave and asks me to stay and that even with a nasty tone told me I cant leave and have no choice but to stay. It’s the tip of the ice berg and im on the verge of just sinking rather then trying to swim my way to narc. free life. His attitude when wanting dinner chores manly or womanly is kind the second of his last bite of dinner and I’ll receive a hate text message about how much I’m this and that. I feel for the women and men who have it worse then me wuos partners make mine seem like a walk in the park but to each their own and this narc. has me questioning if I’m everything he says even when I’m dead alone and been friendless for years on end.

By: Brenda

Brenda — Sat, 10 Aug 2019 13:37:22 +0000

Thank you Melanie!! Your information is invaluable, and has been my lifeline!! I was in a long term 26 yr. marriage to an overt, and he did everything listed here! The ex was really upset because not only did I call it quits, I kicked him out, changed the locks on him, and completely cut him off in any possible way I could. At the time, I still had 2 children living in my home, and had nowhere else to go, and of course the ex emptied the bank account, so I had no financial means to do anything else. He set out to punish me in EVERY way he could, and even to this day, he periodically crawls out from under his rock and either steals or vandalizes my property. Last fall he stole a tire and rim from my home, and it was spotted bolted onto the front of a trailer at the ex’s home. The ex tries, but fails to trigger me, I’m no longer afraid of what the ex will do to me, and always waiting for the other shoe to fall. I could care less about the ex on any level. I’m no fun if he can’t gain supply from me, and now, 13+ yrs out, the incidents involving him are getting fewer and farther between. I only wish I’d have known what I was dealing with all those years ago, and how to most effectively deal with him, so I could have shut this down far earlier! I’m happy today, but am presently dealing with a covert sibling, so I’m implimenting your tools, and putting myself and well being first…everything is going far better this time around!

By: Lor

Lor — Wed, 07 Aug 2019 18:04:47 +0000

In reply to Melanie Tonia Evans. Let me add my two cents by saying if the person is not spiritually aligned with you, that will also become a disaster for YOU. It is in my personal experiences with several long term relationships with Narc men that they had absolutely ZERO fear of God, belief in God, because they simply have no spiritual compass, no beliefs in a higher power, therefore no fear. Believe me, you’ll never even hear the word “God” coming from them. And I was duped by HIM demanding a “church wedding” with “Ave Marie” being sung as I walked down the aisle. He knew I am a practicing Catholic so he needed to put on that ruse to make me think his intentions were real. That was the first and last time he ever went to church, 18 years ago.

By: Karina

Karina — Tue, 23 Jul 2019 06:27:51 +0000

In reply to Jen.

Thank you so much for the links Jen 🙏🏼 Much appreciated. Love the Tolle video! I see challenges (also in people ;)) as ‘teachers’. But having Tolle explain, exactly what these people teach us, and how, makes everything fall into place…

It feels so surreal to suddently see all of this.
And at the same time, if I am honest; it has all been a bit surreal, the whole time! And maybe that’s it; the essence of the Narc – surreal.

Jen that must be a challenge living with a Narc like that. It is so interesting, how differently these Narc’s can show up in our lives! And it makes sense now, why they show up, even when we are “far at our journey”… they help us step up.

I have had two experiences with Narc’s earlier.
It is just NOW that I see, that they were Narc’s for sure! I have been wondering, how people (these two both spiritual!) could be so ‘broken’ on the inside, and hide it so very well (until you get close to them). It did not make sense, until now.

And I thought that I did “graduate” – since I did cut these two people off (both times I had to BLOCK them out, because they went crazy when I cut them off). I thought my lesson, was “just” to trust my instinct; and peoples vibe (even when it does not match how amazing they are on the surface).

And now I see… that I did not cut all of these crazy off. I married one of them ! ! !

Yes Jen – the path of growth must go own! 😅 I am with you!