Comments on: How To Divorce A Narcissist And Win

By: Ryana Molles

Ryana Molles — Sat, 10 Sep 2022 07:00:42 +0000

My soon to be ex husband is a very practical and charming when he speaks.

He contacted my lawyer without getting a lawyer saying he will do the right thing and agree to mediation….

I think this is an act and don’t know next steps?
Should I accept or tell lawyer I changed my mind let’s go to courts and save some heartache

By: Jo

Jo — Thu, 06 Jan 2022 17:33:32 +0000

Thank you Mel for such a great article, and telling it like it is, pulling no punches. Like some of your other commentators, I SO wish id known all this when i went through my divorce from my ex-Narc 12 years ago: you describe how his behaviour was throughout all that time so uncannily accurately the memories of it re-triggered me a bit – but i cleared it all out again, lol! With hindsight i realise back then that i was left as a husk of myself, a shell sucked dry of my soul, my life force. And being psychologically absent, going through the motions just to survive, I inadvertently hurt my daughter at that time, when she so needed me to be fully present, which pains me the worst of all.

I wanted to say all this because last year my ex came back at me again out of the blue via the Courts using the best (and most expensive!) family lawyers in Scotland in a totally vindictive move after 12 years of being divorced. At first I nearly collapsed with fear and felt my only option was to commit suicide, it felt like Pandora’s box was opening up all over again. However, this time was so different because i discovered NARP. The universe must have been looking out for me!

With the support and understanding from NARP, i was able to stand up to him. I bought a book on family law, represented myself… and won, can you believe it?!! This Christmas my daughter and i were also able to talk about that terrible time during the original divorce and make reparations together, which i hope was healing for both of us, and has brought us even closer than before.

So, please, to anyone who may be in the pits of hell at the moment, looking at divorcing a narc, all i can say is: You are Not Alone, we, in this community, have been where you are too. Be thankful you have discovered Mel and NARP at this point, trust and use it, the whole process works and will support you through this. You are luckier than i was back then, but its never too late to discover this help. One day I hope you will look back, as i have done recently, and realise that the whole experience was the best developmental tool you could possibly have had. Weird to say, but you can find the most precious silver linings to this particular black as all hell cloud you may currently be under and NARP will help you do that.

Sending you big hugs and much courage,

By: Andrea

Andrea — Mon, 03 Jan 2022 20:45:29 +0000

In reply to Richard. Thank you for your share. I appreciate the example of how such pain can threaten to be a distraction from what matters- I am so glad your mother has your care and time.

By: Gabrielle Fisher

Gabrielle Fisher — Mon, 03 Jan 2022 17:22:14 +0000

6 Years ago I left my beautiful home and a 20 year marriage. I left no contact. I had no idea it was the recommended thing to do. All i know is that I never wanted him to hear my voice or to see my face again. I cried for almost a year and worked on healing by becoming very involved with starting a new business and joining a kundalini yoga class. I thought I was healing. He had no idea where I moved to and little did he know I was literally blocks away. I had divorce papers already planned months before I left and it took 6 months to plan how I was going to live financially and where was I going. I could not watch TV or listen to the radio for about 1 year unless it was a religious station. I’m also an artist which brought me much pleasure. An entire art studio was packed in boxes and to this day I haven’t created anything.
After a year, my closest inner circle advised counseling. I went and was incomplete shock after the first visit. I didn’t know what a narcissist was. I didn’t know I had been controlled for 20 years. I didn’t know that i was living in a lie. I also didn’t know that my soul was stolen. I now had to start healing all over again! I have read, listen and written for these past years. I will never forgive him till my last breath, but more likely, that I will never forgive myself.

By: Healthy

Healthy — Mon, 03 Jan 2022 01:05:32 +0000

Married or not, getting out of a relationship with a narcissist can be a nightmare. The narcissist we parted ways with even enjoyed getting divorced and couldn’t stop bragging about it like putting that on her resume and social media made her finally feel extra grown up. Bahaha what a dumbo.

By: J

Thu, 11 Nov 2021 04:37:42 +0000

In reply to Rebecca. It wasnt you it was him. Mine is doing the same thing . He would call me names and start a fight. At divorce he said he taped me all thoses time. He shared it with the social worker, psychologists, the guardian at lietum, my son, whoever he wanted to believe his lie. They all did. Even friends who knew it wasnt true. He even tried to turn my sister and parents on me for years before divorce.

By: Pam Sheehan

Pam Sheehan — Sun, 21 Feb 2021 04:42:38 +0000

I’m so glad my friend sent this to me. I’m 64 and he’s 58. After 28 years, I finally decided to file for divorce.
I knew if I ever filed it would be hell! And, it has been. I’ve been trying to divorce him for 14 months… should have been 60 days in Texas!
He stalls it, doesn’t show up, or calls the day of to say he is sick!
I had a massive stroke in May.
I shouldn’t even be here, much less functioning according to all my Dr’s.
I’m a woman of faith and have a lot of people praying for me.
I have gone through 8 mo of hard, grueling, painful, lots of tears, therapy.
He doesn’t care… he’s trying to kill me i think….
But my God is greater, and I’m a TRUE MIRACLE!!
I believe he’s going to let me find favor with the judge. Plz pray for me.
I was to see him 2 weeks ago for his deposition, and he called in sick the morning of.
The night before that, i had a full blown panic attack knowing I was going to have to see him, and be in the same room.
I’ve got to get myself together.
He’s been abusive, cocaine addict, plus pills, habitual cheater, terrible temper.
I’m in fear as you talked about.
I’m glad I’m going to get emails from you.
Do you have a book, or suggest any to help me get through this?
Thank you

By: Kath

Kath — Thu, 07 Nov 2019 14:45:41 +0000

In reply to Debbie. What does let it all go mean- did you agree to lower payments and his clauses?

By: Kath

Kath — Thu, 07 Nov 2019 14:42:42 +0000

In reply to Sarah. He knows what he is doing. You’ll be wrecked no matter what you do, once your in their sights it’s over. I often think the legal system should just give us both knives, put us in a room and see who comes out. I think that would be way easier and way better.