Amen to this I went back so many times now I am going inwards to heal even it is hard. I am learning to forgive myself and others and accept what is going on I to trying to fix trying to get myself from the outside in. Now I am anchoring into myself.woosh what a relief.

How do you feel good about yourself after allowing someone to treat you badly?

I had dealings with a co-worker. He pretended to be a friend, but I knew his true nature. Everything was alright until I fell mentally ill. I started having obsessive thoughts about my sexuality that had a HUGE negative impact on my mind. The worst ever. I did a complete 180 in who I was and was blinded by the fear and anxiety.

It was during this time that he propositioned me, and I was this close to saying no but filled with fear and anxiety, I decided to experiment because I had never done anything. Next, came the worst experiences of my life. I did things I promised I never would because I was lost. I finally made it back to myself and I regret my decisions and how I allowed myself to he treated every single day. I allowed that piece of shit to use me and got nothing in return but regret, disgust, shame and embarrasment.

In hindsight, he was never even genuinely kind to me but I let him degrade me. I question how I could’ve let that happen and feel rage.

How am I supposed to ever feel good about myself when I did that awful mess with someone so awful? As always he’s off pretending to be the greatest probably using someone else. I’m beyond pissed.

Hi Ms Sabina,

My heart goes out to you.

Please know there are many of us who thought our situation was hopeless.

When you start healing, even when still in the situation, you become the ‘way’ on the inside and then the ‘way’ appears.

I’d love to help show you how there is hope, and the first step is here: http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freecourse

I hope this can help.

Mel 🙏💕❤️

Hi Stu,

I’m so glad that youve been able to access some profound clarity.

You’ve been doing a great job with what you’re needing to deal with and I hear you, that you want to heal.

Our true healing from this that is much more direct than trying to cognitively work through this, is about finding and freeing ourselves from the traumas we suffered in these relationships as well as the already existing ones that unconsciously got us snagged up in them.

I’d love you to check out my inner transformational resources http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freecourse and please know we have great guys doing this deep inner work in the NARP community.

I hope this helps.

Mel 🙏💕❤️

I, like many others I am reading about here, didn’t fully realize I was with a Narcissist. I spent over ten years with her. I just thought she was rather selfish. It occurred to me after we broke up when she started to call me an abusive narcissist what was really happening. I looked it up. It was an epiphany of sorts. I finally understand why she would say and do the things to me that she did. She would tell me that everyone I worked with hated me, and fabricate incidents that involved me at MY job. I was left thinking “How is it that I lived with this person for over ten years and it’s like they don’t even know who I really am?”. When I read about projection and gaslighting, it explained it perfectly for me. I was a painted picture of the qualities she saw in herself that she detested.
She used manipulation and gaslighting to destroy my relationship with my older children from a previous marriage. I have reconnected with them, and we are all working towards forgiving me for it and moving forward.
We have a child together, and she constantly uses the little one as a weapon to hurt me and try and get what she wants. We are now in court, and after I read your article on what to expect from a narcissist in court, I see that it is also bang on. She is saying that I am alcoholic, abusive, need anger management, and have “issues he needs to deal with” with no proof or specifics. None of which is true, of course. She has started to unravel herself, losing her cool and being sarcastic on the stand with her minions snorting, snickering, sighing, and guffawing in the gallery.
Once she realized that I was drying up as a source for her narcissistic energy, (I said once to her near the end “At least we still have one thing in common- we’re both all about YOU.”) she set herself up with another life before she left, and then finally moved out. Riding off into the sunset with someone else and all of the nice things that I had worked so hard for over the years.
I now get the silent treatment. It truly doesn’t bother me except for the fact that it is not good for our child. She uses our child as a messenger. She even said in court “He doesn’t exist to me.” True narcissistic silent treatment….
So thank you so much for all of your articles and information that you have made available for us. They truly help me to realize it wasn’t me and is not me that is crazy, which is something I still struggle with while trying to self-heal. I often wonder if maybe I do have some mental issues, or if I’m good enough for someone else, or was it me that caused her to become NPD? She does blame me for her Crohn’s disease….

You can try contacting the National Domestic Violence hotline. They have resources.

Hi Denise,

You are so right, the loss of the life that we thought we were having is excruciating.

The only way I know out of that truly is the deep healing within. I’d love to show you how to access relief and a light at the end of the tunnel.

http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freecourse

I hope this can help.

Mel 🙏💕❤️