Comments on: How To Rebuild The Dream The Narcissist Tore Down https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-rebuild-the-dream-the-narcissist-tore-down/ Devastated by a narcissist? Melanie's Narcissism blog offers support & empowering tools to heal & thrive after narcissistic abuse, gain a new life & fulfilling relationships. Tue, 07 Aug 2018 05:18:25 +0000 hourly 1 By: Melanie Tonia Evans https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-rebuild-the-dream-the-narcissist-tore-down/#comment-939193 Wed, 18 Oct 2017 23:17:04 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=4873#comment-939193 In reply to Tori.

Hi Tori,

I am so glad it helped explain!

You are very welcome and thank you for your lovely birthday wishes.

Mel xo

]]> By: Tori https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-rebuild-the-dream-the-narcissist-tore-down/#comment-939129 Wed, 18 Oct 2017 18:10:04 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=4873#comment-939129 Wow! This is intresting. Each time I’m watching your video’s or reading your blog, my Narc (well I’m not going to claim him as “Mine” so “the narc”)
texts or calls. So I was going to ask you about this when I scrolled and saw tour video on “Psychic” connection. Sometimes I think he’s reading my mind but doesn’t actually realize it!

Todays video was spot on!

Thank you for your work and I hope you have a lovely Birthday!

???
Tori

]]> By: Melanie Tonia Evans https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-rebuild-the-dream-the-narcissist-tore-down/#comment-938827 Wed, 18 Oct 2017 03:40:08 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=4873#comment-938827 In reply to Duane Fronek.

Hi Duane,

I am so pleased NARP has helped and that you have hope now.

Wishing you many blessings and incredible healing.

Mel xo

]]> By: Duane Fronek https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-rebuild-the-dream-the-narcissist-tore-down/#comment-938274 Tue, 17 Oct 2017 02:31:41 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=4873#comment-938274 Your NARP program has helped me a lot. I can so relate to this episode. After losing everything when i divorced my one narc of 10 years, i didnt have this program. I met my recent ex narc a few years after my divorce.. That was 3 yrs ago i met the this one. I figured i had 4 years to heal and this one was like the person ive always dreamed of, i put everything i had into the relationship, i was already starring to rebuild my life when i met her. She said all the right things and it seemed perfect. We got engaged after a year and things seemed great momentarily, then things started to changed, slowly flags would pop up and i ignored them, she said she had a rough life and never treated right and i would try to make life even better for her. But could feel myself losing myself.The devalue, idealise was constant but didnt recognize it because i didnt know what a narcisisst was even when i was married to the other i didnt know what one was. Not until this one discarded me on the last day of july, we were suppose to get married in august. She just left, no warning,no fighting, it was like the last few months she was here things seemed better. Then gone. I was worseboff and set back worse than i was when i divorced. Everything i was building one and starting to get ahead with my dream partner soul mate. Just stripped from me. I was devasted more than i ever was. Im 52 and felt my life is totally over, financially ruin, my emotiins totally raped. I found your program shortly after the discard. It saved my life giving me some hope. Im healing and self partnering, but know i have a ways to go, but i do have hope. Just wish it didnt take most of my life to learn these lessons from narcisissts. Where i go from here i have no idea, i just know ill be along with myself consciously istead of the unconscious state. Thank you for your program.

]]> By: Fiona https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-rebuild-the-dream-the-narcissist-tore-down/#comment-897243 Thu, 13 Jul 2017 20:35:44 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=4873#comment-897243 In reply to wendy.

Thank you Mel. You are my rock. x

]]> By: Denise https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-rebuild-the-dream-the-narcissist-tore-down/#comment-889055 Sat, 24 Jun 2017 01:26:36 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=4873#comment-889055 Hi Melanie,

3 weeks ago I suddenly realized I’ve spent the last 2 years with a covert narcissist. Needless to say I never saw that coming and thought his depression and anxiety were the causes of his bad behavior although I always knew something was “off”. I had all the pieces in front of me but I just couldn’t put them together. Every one of your videos is exactly what I experienced. I think I’m still in shock because my idea of a narcissist was always the overt kind. As with all victims, this man took my unconditional love, kindness, compassion, empathy and so many other things. To wake up every morning and know every word and action was a lie and calculated and that I fell for it is devastating. To know you only served a purpose, meant nothing and that he probably hates who I am as a person is just so sad to me. The community we live in thinks he’s just a wonderful person (if they only knew) and he hides behind our shared Catholic faith. I ended the relationship and initiated full “no contact”. He has no idea I know what he is and that he suffers from NPD. I’m afraid of running into him in the neighborhood. I’ve never been manipulated in my life and I don’t want him taking anymore than he already has. I now see a therapist to help me through this because I am experiencing all of the PTSD that others do. Emotions are happening in stages for me right now and I think what is most upsetting to me at this point is that knowing he will never feel any remorse or be unhappy because he is not capable. He gets to move on to the next “supply” without a second thought of me or what he’s done. And if the CN always has another “supply” waiting, how are they ever unfulfilled or feeling pain? It’s not the Christian way to wish that on someone. It’s impossible not take this personally or see it as they “win” because no matter what you say or do it will never matter to them, nothing will change their thinking. They get to go on and we are left to pick up the pieces and heal. Thank you for taking the time to read and I sincerely appreciate the videos and blogs during this extremely difficult time. I feel so sorry for anyone who has had to experience this and those who do not even realize it’s happening.

]]> By: Dana https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-rebuild-the-dream-the-narcissist-tore-down/#comment-874448 Thu, 25 May 2017 12:33:20 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=4873#comment-874448 Dear Melanie,
Hi
I have been caught in my worst situation ever for 6 years -since I was 30- having to live with my father… and only recently God lead me to realise that not only my ex-boyfriend (I’m not sure if I can call him a boyfriend cause I have been in a very fragmented relationship with him for 12 years) who has always played the role of THE soulmate to me was a Malignant Narcissist, but also, I have been surrounded with different types of narcissists from childhood! I have been born among a bunch of them! God know the abuses I have been through caused by these people since I was very little that I do not even remember… And like my parents, I was grown to be (to some extent at least) a submissive or inverted narcissist; always seeking the approval of these pathological psychopathic Narcissists around among our relatives who had grandoise egos, just because my parents have always approved them, provided them supply and taught me and brought me up with this idea that our relatives are extremely good people; they are the saints!
I wished I could tell you about all the traumas I have been through since childhood and they all continued and compiled in my teens and even my twenties… Now I know that the last 6 years has taught me and helped me not to continue being submissive to those people… I haven’t had their support and approval for year and they degraded me however they could and I am still alive! So my wrong mental programs which have been hardwired into my brain since childhood by my parents began to shatter… But I know that by finding out their true nature and their exact diagnose, God wants me to go further from a state of being stuck, paralyzed and feeling the agony of tormenting emotions to get totally free!
Right now I am unemployed and living in fear of that ex because I found out that he is what’s called a ‘Dark Tetrad’ (the worst of them all having sadism also) so I have safety issues! I am afraid of what is he up to next and I cannot rely on anyone for my safety at this moment; I live somewhere in the middle east where we don’t have enough efficient laws to compel him stay away from me… lately I found out that he had hacked into my computer and my cellphone and when I took the control of my devices back, every once in a while he calls me with an unknown number to check out whether or not I have changed my number! I don’t know why he does that and what is he really up to!
Would you please help me Melanie?
I am still afraid of even having a new email address of my own or have a new facebook account, etc. because I’m afraid of him hacking into them and go on stalking me through them, let alone keeping in touch with my friends on the internet! I know I am getting paranoid and that’s what he wants! I even got death threats from him before, only now I know they were REAL forewarnings!
I hope soon I’ll have my email address to join NARP, take part in your webinars and be able to get more of the help you provide, although I know it won’t be easy for me and it will take some time…
Love

]]> By: Liz https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-rebuild-the-dream-the-narcissist-tore-down/#comment-873589 Wed, 24 May 2017 15:47:20 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=4873#comment-873589 Hi Melanie,
Your amazing and I love your blog. I was in a relationship with a narcissist for a year and I nearly committed suicide. The problem was I didn’t even know what a narcissist was until a month after he left me, I was so confused about what was happening that I literally thought I was crazy. Luckily as you said in your video I hit rock bottom and had to start from stratch. It’s taken 6 months to recover but I can honestly say I am in the happiest place now and actually glad I met him as I learnt a lot about myself. The only problem is I’m not quite healed as if I see him driving round town all my happiness disappears and is replaced with great shame and worthlessness. It doesn’t last long but I’m upset he still has this effect on me. Do you have any idea how to stop giving him power over my emotions and why I’m so ashamed when I see him? Many thanks, Liz X

]]> By: Annie https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-rebuild-the-dream-the-narcissist-tore-down/#comment-873357 Tue, 23 May 2017 09:45:47 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=4873#comment-873357 Melanie I adore you and your work so much. You’ve saved my life, totally. I haven’t been able to find this much healing anywhere else. And I’m excited to express to you how liberated I already am in my life without the narcissist changing one bit.

In regards to your video about fear of being enmeshed with another narcissist I’ve had a trauma/internal conflict that plays out like this: when I see lack in people I see myself as a tall poppy that will be totally destroyed and abused and brainwashed and manipulated, so I avoid loving myself in order to not have conflict or be targeted in a situation that I may be helpless and unprotected. I know this is a deep childhood wound (from ages 12-16 having a very jealous narcissistic mother) but I am now 19 and play this out in every situation of my life. I literally feel like loving or taking care of myself will mean I’ll be tortured, cornered, trapped, envied with malice and a lack of humanity. I have not been able to figure out how to resolve this and know it’s the last bug that’s stuck there. I’m so excited and eager to heal and experience the life we all deserve, and the self love I’ve been dying to experience without survival fears! ❤️❤️❤️

Any comment on this I would appreciate so so much. Also, NARP has been an absolute God send with clearing trapped painful emotions!

Love! xx

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