Comments on: How To Release Shame And Come Home To Yourself

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Mon, 15 Mar 2021 06:18:01 +0000

In reply to Lizzie.

Hi Lizzie,

just be honest, humble and real.

Also, don’t be attached to how others receive you – this is being done for your own conscience and “self” and to perform “right action”.

I would also, as a warning, caution you against doing so to a narcissist to try to get back in their favours. Please realize that if we are around sick people who are abusing us that we get sick.

regardless of what “you did”, if you are trying to heal from a narcissist, No Contact and your healing is completely essential. Your apologies to them are not healthy in any way. It just lines you up to get more hooked and abused.

I hope this makes sense.

Mel 🙏💕💚

By: Lizzie

Lizzie — Sat, 13 Mar 2021 06:31:48 +0000

Hi Melanie,
would you have any advice for if you behaved badly under the influence- how to repay etc. for stuff you did- thanks!

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Fri, 02 Mar 2018 07:31:17 +0000

In reply to Kristina.

Hi Kristina,

Awww I am so happy you are getting out an to the other side.

You are so welcome and many blessings to you.

Mel xo

By: Kristina

Kristina — Fri, 02 Mar 2018 03:17:05 +0000

Wow I was lead to this article from a member in the group. This is Is so true!! I am so glad the PIECES ARE COMING TOGETHER!! I am finally coming out of HELL!! Words can’t describe the relief and understanding I have now!! Thank you Melanie 💕💕

By: Silvia

Silvia — Tue, 15 Nov 2016 19:44:53 +0000

Dear Melanie,

I hope I can still post on this older article. I was reading through lots of your blog posts and listening to your videos those last weeks.
I appreciate your work so much and want to try NARP for me. I fully agree that the Narc in our lives is only our teacher who mirrors all our secrete needs and unhealed wounds.
Of course you put in way better in words, than I ever could. Sorry for any mistakes, I am no native english speaker.

My question is: can NARP help me heal from my self hatred as well? My self hatred has nothing to do with my narc, I have hated myself all my life.
And now with aging this hatred grows to an even bigger extent. Who am I as a woman if I don’t look good enough anymore? Is there any chance of finding aliveness and a meaning in life for an older woman?

Tomorrow is my 45th birthday and I cannot stop crying. I feel like I am dying and my life is just over.

By: sue

sue — Wed, 09 Mar 2016 18:29:56 +0000

In reply to Melanie Tonia Evans.

Hi mel
this post really hit home for me today. Thank you too to ruth as I realize now I am having huge issues re helping without fixing for my son. It has been hugely hard to hold firm boundaries re not allowing him to live with me at this time. Your words about letting go and fixing Were spot on.
also it helped my realize that I hold shame and blame if everyone around me is not 100% happy without thought to how it effects my self.
what module is the best I am only up to 2 atm?
Sue

By: Mark

Mark — Sat, 06 Dec 2014 16:04:15 +0000

In reply to William.

Hi William,

It was inspiring to read your posting. Your story was an exact blueprint of mine. N abuse is a nasty makes us feel empty, violated and alone in every regard. Suicide is definitely not the answer. Recovery takes time and effort but once you begin to heal within you will attract the right people instead of the wrong ones. This is the beginning of a beautiful life awaiting you. You’re not alone William. Take comfort in this and that you’re taking the right steps for a love story that begins with you!

All the Best,
Mark

By: William

William — Fri, 05 Dec 2014 19:37:32 +0000

Hello Mel, I would first off like to say thank you so very much for this article. I am person who has spent the last year suffering from a breakup that brought forward a ton of pain, that I did not see coming. After which I began searching six or so months back for help. Besides some useless consulling I have searched the web nightly for information about narc abuse.
I began the over whelming realisation of healing from such abuse. It has been nothing less than mind boggling and very deeply painful. I have wept on the floor in the corner, in my truck, in my garage, during showers from the guilt and shame from this relationship, that I valued so much.
There has been many moments where I felt suicide was the ” only” way that this lump of agony would ever dissipate, ” sad I know” but, its the truth. I spent six years giving “all” that I had to a beautiful woman and her messed up family, loving them with all that I had, along with my son and “nothing” was ever good enough. We went far over and beyond giving. I’m the kinda fella that brings home flowers because its ‘Tuesday!’;) and I’m so greatful for stumbling upon your article.
I have read many that have been helpful and have reinstated ‘ my hope’ but, this one was an absolute home run for me! “Shame” what a nasty emotion this is, it has taken a positive loving man with a good solid sense of direction and motivation and crippled this 240lb male, to his knees!
I read this article over and over and wish I could show the world this literature but, unfortunately I have found that this healing stage is pretty quiet. Its as though one must rebuild alone because most people really don’t want to hear it and besides it can be a bit obsessive thinking about the past. I’m aware that what’s important is the present.
I truly hope for a better future and wish to find a beautiful lady with the type of mindset that you possess. What you are doing for others is awesome and i am so truly greatful for finding you, your article and your website! 🙂
Thank you, so very much!
Forever Greatful, William Parker

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Sun, 18 May 2014 06:17:07 +0000

In reply to pete.

Hi Pete,

you are very welcome..

It truly is ‘one person at a time’ job…This is where education would need to be ‘across the board’ – the ultimate defence is ONLY ever self-reflection.

“What wounded part in me, is allowing me to be triggered, hooked, violated and unable to lay boundaries and completely detach from the poison? What young unhealed unconscious part of me is being brought up to the surface to heal?”

Narcissists will ooze into gaps – if there are any.

The only way to eliminate narcissism is to eliminate gaps..

Which means to deeply self-reflect, identify your wounds and up-level and evolve them..

This is why ‘strategy education’ is next to useless…ALWAYS!

What is REALLY required is ‘raising consciousness training’…

I hope this explains..

Mel xo