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	Comments on: How To Speak Up Without Fear Of C.R.A.P	</title>
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	<description>Devastated by a narcissist? Melanie&#039;s Narcissism blog offers support &#38; empowering tools to heal &#38; thrive after narcissistic abuse, gain a new life &#38; fulfilling relationships.</description>
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		<title>
		By: economy_egkt		</title>
		<link>https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-speak-up-without-fear-of-crap/#comment-1285757</link>

		<dc:creator><![CDATA[economy_egkt]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 10 Jul 2025 19:43:46 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=5637#comment-1285757</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[Best rental deals overview, for a family holiday. 
 
honda car rental [url=https://neochorion.com /our-cars/?view=cardetails&#038;carid=9/]https://neochorion.com /our-cars/?view=cardetails&#038;carid=9/[/url] .]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Best rental deals overview, for a family holiday. </p>
<p>honda car rental [url=https://neochorion.com /our-cars/?view=cardetails&amp;carid=9/]https://neochorion.com /our-cars/?view=cardetails&amp;carid=9/[/url] .</p>
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		<title>
		By: Healthy		</title>
		<link>https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-speak-up-without-fear-of-crap/#comment-1266682</link>

		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Healthy]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 25 Mar 2022 01:55:01 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=5637#comment-1266682</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[Yep that’s exactly why I moved away from them. They still have enablers who call them “poor guy” or “nice guy” or “co-dependent”. The ex is an immature twat still trying to get her boyfriend back who of course never was abusive to her, except that he was and really (not just attempted) cheated on her. They’re a snake pit.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Yep that’s exactly why I moved away from them. They still have enablers who call them “poor guy” or “nice guy” or “co-dependent”. The ex is an immature twat still trying to get her boyfriend back who of course never was abusive to her, except that he was and really (not just attempted) cheated on her. They’re a snake pit.</p>
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		<title>
		By: William		</title>
		<link>https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-speak-up-without-fear-of-crap/#comment-1245059</link>

		<dc:creator><![CDATA[William]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 29 Nov 2020 15:21:32 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=5637#comment-1245059</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[As a son of an ego driven misanthrope ( antisocial personality disordered and hidden from all others and myself a psychopathic female) parent, confusion from the very beginning of my life from birth has been foisted on me and taken its toll having ravaged me in mind emotion and body , and , also her self inflicting premature aging and causing her death addictions, that of course were her outward &quot;socialized&quot; appearances of portraying herself as socially acceptable and every addiction an energy &quot;drink&quot; to feed the ego that took over her reasoning ability of rational honest self interest for a lifetime of self injuring that also forst her to give birth to up to eight protoplasma mutations that were not viable to allow to keep alive (babies) but also burdened me and my younger sybling before we were even born as the only thing her body wantee was to survive her self abuse and push the mutated but viable 2 of us out of her in a time frame that the powers that be would out of laziness default say were &quot;premature&quot; birth which of course is false for the 2 of us got out of WRONGTOWN the only WAY we NEW how. Then the show hits the road with the anti-social personality disordered&quot;female&quot; parent DRIVING the BOAT to the end of her flat earth and right off the cliff she was intending and premeditating all along. Okay 👌! That was a long sentence. I wrote this knowing the OUTRIGHT IMPORTANCE THAT IS NECESSARY FOR ALL TO SEE HOW THEY (that wish to improve their life) AFFECT THE CHILDREN THEY BRING INTO THE WORLD.  And this is about everyone that reads this at verious ratios. Thank you Melanie Tania Evans for the post. Goodbye all]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>As a son of an ego driven misanthrope ( antisocial personality disordered and hidden from all others and myself a psychopathic female) parent, confusion from the very beginning of my life from birth has been foisted on me and taken its toll having ravaged me in mind emotion and body , and , also her self inflicting premature aging and causing her death addictions, that of course were her outward &#8220;socialized&#8221; appearances of portraying herself as socially acceptable and every addiction an energy &#8220;drink&#8221; to feed the ego that took over her reasoning ability of rational honest self interest for a lifetime of self injuring that also forst her to give birth to up to eight protoplasma mutations that were not viable to allow to keep alive (babies) but also burdened me and my younger sybling before we were even born as the only thing her body wantee was to survive her self abuse and push the mutated but viable 2 of us out of her in a time frame that the powers that be would out of laziness default say were &#8220;premature&#8221; birth which of course is false for the 2 of us got out of WRONGTOWN the only WAY we NEW how. Then the show hits the road with the anti-social personality disordered&#8221;female&#8221; parent DRIVING the BOAT to the end of her flat earth and right off the cliff she was intending and premeditating all along. Okay 👌! That was a long sentence. I wrote this knowing the OUTRIGHT IMPORTANCE THAT IS NECESSARY FOR ALL TO SEE HOW THEY (that wish to improve their life) AFFECT THE CHILDREN THEY BRING INTO THE WORLD.  And this is about everyone that reads this at verious ratios. Thank you Melanie Tania Evans for the post. Goodbye all</p>
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		<title>
		By: Deborah Shannon		</title>
		<link>https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-speak-up-without-fear-of-crap/#comment-1244394</link>

		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Deborah Shannon]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 23 Oct 2020 03:09:14 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=5637#comment-1244394</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[This all makes so much sense to me.  I had a narcissistic father and codependent mother, so was taught from the beginning to hide my true feelings and do what others wanted to keep the peace and avoid CRAP.  

I married a narcissist who threatened abandonment any time I tried to state an opinion or set a boundary, unless he wanted to be able to blame me for any outcome. I have filed for divorce from this narcissist but I am stuck living in the same house during the pandemic and until the divorce settlement is finalized.

While I now understand that I can walk away from these personal relationships, my question is regarding work issues.  I have managed to work under 5 narcissists over the past 30 years.  These have been truly terrifying people, throwing baseballs at my head; staying after hours to stand in my doorway and shout abuse at me; telling me to shut up in meetings where I am the only female and they don’t tell any men to shut up; etc). How should I go about setting my boundaries with these people, and staying true to myself when the company that I work for has to do what clients want? How do I stand up to a boss when I need my job because I need money and I cannot afford a blemish on my CV? 

Typically, I would advise someone to file a complaint with Human Resources or a State office but in these instances, I have been the HR representative and my boss is the head of the company or I’m working for the State government, which isn’t going to find fault with its own.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>This all makes so much sense to me.  I had a narcissistic father and codependent mother, so was taught from the beginning to hide my true feelings and do what others wanted to keep the peace and avoid CRAP.  </p>
<p>I married a narcissist who threatened abandonment any time I tried to state an opinion or set a boundary, unless he wanted to be able to blame me for any outcome. I have filed for divorce from this narcissist but I am stuck living in the same house during the pandemic and until the divorce settlement is finalized.</p>
<p>While I now understand that I can walk away from these personal relationships, my question is regarding work issues.  I have managed to work under 5 narcissists over the past 30 years.  These have been truly terrifying people, throwing baseballs at my head; staying after hours to stand in my doorway and shout abuse at me; telling me to shut up in meetings where I am the only female and they don’t tell any men to shut up; etc). How should I go about setting my boundaries with these people, and staying true to myself when the company that I work for has to do what clients want? How do I stand up to a boss when I need my job because I need money and I cannot afford a blemish on my CV? </p>
<p>Typically, I would advise someone to file a complaint with Human Resources or a State office but in these instances, I have been the HR representative and my boss is the head of the company or I’m working for the State government, which isn’t going to find fault with its own.</p>
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		<title>
		By: Melanie Tonia Evans		</title>
		<link>https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-speak-up-without-fear-of-crap/#comment-1237156</link>

		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Melanie Tonia Evans]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 06 May 2020 01:17:22 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=5637#comment-1237156</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[In reply to &lt;a href=&quot;https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-speak-up-without-fear-of-crap/#comment-1237143&quot;&gt;Veronika&lt;/a&gt;.

Hi Veronika,

You can state your truth, yet other people don&#039;t need to accept it or agree!

If you are in a toxic relationship then there will be no middle ground, because you can&#039;t speak sense to insanity.

The bottom line is, your boundary is not about whether somebody else &quot;gets it&quot;, it&#039;s about whether or not you &quot;get it&quot;.

If someone in your life, no matter who they are is not prepared to meet you at a place of mutuality, respect, teamwork, communion and understanding then you don&#039;t have a relationship.

I know that it&#039;s really hard to understand this, but the only way is to detach and create your life in a way that does match your values and truth. Often times in these situations it means that this person is not a match for you, and it&#039;s time to heal and move on.

I hope that this makes sense and much love to you

Mel 🙏💕💚]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>In reply to <a href="https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-speak-up-without-fear-of-crap/#comment-1237143">Veronika</a>.</p>
<p>Hi Veronika,</p>
<p>You can state your truth, yet other people don&#8217;t need to accept it or agree!</p>
<p>If you are in a toxic relationship then there will be no middle ground, because you can&#8217;t speak sense to insanity.</p>
<p>The bottom line is, your boundary is not about whether somebody else &#8220;gets it&#8221;, it&#8217;s about whether or not you &#8220;get it&#8221;.</p>
<p>If someone in your life, no matter who they are is not prepared to meet you at a place of mutuality, respect, teamwork, communion and understanding then you don&#8217;t have a relationship.</p>
<p>I know that it&#8217;s really hard to understand this, but the only way is to detach and create your life in a way that does match your values and truth. Often times in these situations it means that this person is not a match for you, and it&#8217;s time to heal and move on.</p>
<p>I hope that this makes sense and much love to you</p>
<p>Mel 🙏💕💚</p>
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		<title>
		By: Veronika		</title>
		<link>https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-speak-up-without-fear-of-crap/#comment-1237143</link>

		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Veronika]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 05 May 2020 20:03:03 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=5637#comment-1237143</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[Melanie, I have question. When I try to bring up the topic of my concern or confront the behavior, my husband complains/responds that he is fed up with my criticism and negativity, that he can&#039;t hear how I express myself blaming, judging and complaining. It all sounds like I am the bad one and often confuses me. I do critique (say whats bugs me, upsets in his attitude), blame him saying he is inadequate, inmature, judge saying he can&#039;t see what is white and whats black, good or bad, say I don&#039;t see remorse, guilt. How I should respond to this? Sounds like blame-shifting and manipulation. I am very confused.
Thank you so much for all the resources you offer!]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Melanie, I have question. When I try to bring up the topic of my concern or confront the behavior, my husband complains/responds that he is fed up with my criticism and negativity, that he can&#8217;t hear how I express myself blaming, judging and complaining. It all sounds like I am the bad one and often confuses me. I do critique (say whats bugs me, upsets in his attitude), blame him saying he is inadequate, inmature, judge saying he can&#8217;t see what is white and whats black, good or bad, say I don&#8217;t see remorse, guilt. How I should respond to this? Sounds like blame-shifting and manipulation. I am very confused.<br />
Thank you so much for all the resources you offer!</p>
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		<title>
		By: Sharon Hoffer		</title>
		<link>https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-speak-up-without-fear-of-crap/#comment-1230144</link>

		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Sharon Hoffer]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 24 Jan 2020 05:44:38 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=5637#comment-1230144</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[In reply to &lt;a href=&quot;https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-speak-up-without-fear-of-crap/#comment-1030767&quot;&gt;Joy&lt;/a&gt;.

Sounds like my sister exactly! She is the older of us two siblings, and I can see she has some very strong narcissistic tendencies.  Ever since we were kids, she’s tried to outdo me.  It’s like she’s always got to be the one getting all the attention and admiration from our parents.  But when no one was around, she’d be horrible to me.  When I was going to high school, where she’d been for two years already, she told me not to come near her - ever! She told me that boys would grab me and drag me out onto the sports oval and try and take my underpants off!  She absolutely put terror into my heart about going to high school, and sure enough I was
bullied the whole time, yet my sister treated me like a stranger. I knew I couldn’t call on her or rely on her protection.
Later on when I was offered a great opportunity to do WWOOFing at a place on NSW’s north coast, which I didn’t take up, she then joined the WWOOFing community and travelled all over Great Britain, like she’d come up with this amazing idea herself! About middle of last year, I joined a pet sitting website and quietly went about doing some pet sitting.  Mum must have mentioned this to her, as she’s now set up her own pet sitting Facebook page and publishes stuff about each and every pit sit, and how wonderful she is! I could do the same but I like being low key, but her antics just make me laugh.
She calls herself a Clairvoyant Healer and has her own business and lots of people who think she’s wonderful, and good luck to her.  But my experience of having her as a sister is completely different and she has done nothing in our family that I could ever class as ‘healing’, it’s just all about her and how wonderful she thinks she is.  I now live within 30 minutes drive of her for the last 12 months since I left my narc, yet not once has she called in on me, or called me on the phone, to ask how I’m doing or if I need any support.  Like a friend, let alone a sister, might do.
I happily ignore her now, I think she can see that I’m finally coming into my personal power, and she had better back off with her underhanded criticism and undermining ☺️😁😃]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>In reply to <a href="https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-speak-up-without-fear-of-crap/#comment-1030767">Joy</a>.</p>
<p>Sounds like my sister exactly! She is the older of us two siblings, and I can see she has some very strong narcissistic tendencies.  Ever since we were kids, she’s tried to outdo me.  It’s like she’s always got to be the one getting all the attention and admiration from our parents.  But when no one was around, she’d be horrible to me.  When I was going to high school, where she’d been for two years already, she told me not to come near her &#8211; ever! She told me that boys would grab me and drag me out onto the sports oval and try and take my underpants off!  She absolutely put terror into my heart about going to high school, and sure enough I was<br />
bullied the whole time, yet my sister treated me like a stranger. I knew I couldn’t call on her or rely on her protection.<br />
Later on when I was offered a great opportunity to do WWOOFing at a place on NSW’s north coast, which I didn’t take up, she then joined the WWOOFing community and travelled all over Great Britain, like she’d come up with this amazing idea herself! About middle of last year, I joined a pet sitting website and quietly went about doing some pet sitting.  Mum must have mentioned this to her, as she’s now set up her own pet sitting Facebook page and publishes stuff about each and every pit sit, and how wonderful she is! I could do the same but I like being low key, but her antics just make me laugh.<br />
She calls herself a Clairvoyant Healer and has her own business and lots of people who think she’s wonderful, and good luck to her.  But my experience of having her as a sister is completely different and she has done nothing in our family that I could ever class as ‘healing’, it’s just all about her and how wonderful she thinks she is.  I now live within 30 minutes drive of her for the last 12 months since I left my narc, yet not once has she called in on me, or called me on the phone, to ask how I’m doing or if I need any support.  Like a friend, let alone a sister, might do.<br />
I happily ignore her now, I think she can see that I’m finally coming into my personal power, and she had better back off with her underhanded criticism and undermining ☺️😁😃</p>
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		<title>
		By: Sharon Hoffer		</title>
		<link>https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-speak-up-without-fear-of-crap/#comment-1230143</link>

		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Sharon Hoffer]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 24 Jan 2020 05:26:25 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=5637#comment-1230143</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[Thank you so much Melanie, for your constant messages of hope and how to get through this horrible experience of narcissistic abuse.  Reading this article reminded me of how I just had no personal boundaries when I met my ex back in 2001, and I was even proud of how easy going and accommodating I was! I even remember, on quite a few occasions, my ex narc commenting on how he loved how easy going I was.  Yes, of course he did!  I realise now that this all stems from a fear of speaking up, because as a child I was scared of being laughed at, ridiculed, put down, and demeaned, for my opinions and thoughts.  My father is a very domineering person who is very intelligent, but emotionally he just doesn’t get me, so he is like a scary force in my life that I want approval from, but feel I&#039;ll never live up to his expectations.  However, after doing your Module 1 last week after my Dad triggered me, I feel like I don’t even need his validation or approval anymore.  It’s so freeing!
I also remember my ex narc saying on many occasions  ‘Who’s side are you on?!’ in any angry way, if I ever dared go against his opinion on something. Considering my childhood, I preferred to keep quiet rather than speak up about my opinions and get ridiculed for them. Perhaps this goes back to my past lives too, where people, as you say, didn’t dare speak their truth for fear of retribution.  
I can see it all now so clearly, how my childhood traumas made me a prime target for a narc.  Yet thankfully, I have your NARP modules to heal me and I’m so thankful for that, and you Melanie 🙏🏽💝😇🧚🏼‍♀️]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Thank you so much Melanie, for your constant messages of hope and how to get through this horrible experience of narcissistic abuse.  Reading this article reminded me of how I just had no personal boundaries when I met my ex back in 2001, and I was even proud of how easy going and accommodating I was! I even remember, on quite a few occasions, my ex narc commenting on how he loved how easy going I was.  Yes, of course he did!  I realise now that this all stems from a fear of speaking up, because as a child I was scared of being laughed at, ridiculed, put down, and demeaned, for my opinions and thoughts.  My father is a very domineering person who is very intelligent, but emotionally he just doesn’t get me, so he is like a scary force in my life that I want approval from, but feel I&#8217;ll never live up to his expectations.  However, after doing your Module 1 last week after my Dad triggered me, I feel like I don’t even need his validation or approval anymore.  It’s so freeing!<br />
I also remember my ex narc saying on many occasions  ‘Who’s side are you on?!’ in any angry way, if I ever dared go against his opinion on something. Considering my childhood, I preferred to keep quiet rather than speak up about my opinions and get ridiculed for them. Perhaps this goes back to my past lives too, where people, as you say, didn’t dare speak their truth for fear of retribution.<br />
I can see it all now so clearly, how my childhood traumas made me a prime target for a narc.  Yet thankfully, I have your NARP modules to heal me and I’m so thankful for that, and you Melanie 🙏🏽💝😇🧚🏼‍♀️</p>
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		<title>
		By: Viktoria		</title>
		<link>https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-speak-up-without-fear-of-crap/#comment-1228628</link>

		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Viktoria]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 04 Jan 2020 16:18:56 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=5637#comment-1228628</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[If I could vote for a chapter in a &quot;new healing book for humanity&quot;, then this text would be in it!
I will print this out and read it every day for 21 days! I found it already very helpful last year. But now I&#039;m in another round or level and it makes so much more sense and light. *grateful*]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>If I could vote for a chapter in a &#8220;new healing book for humanity&#8221;, then this text would be in it!<br />
I will print this out and read it every day for 21 days! I found it already very helpful last year. But now I&#8217;m in another round or level and it makes so much more sense and light. *grateful*</p>
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