Comments on: How To Spot A Spiritual Narcissist

By: Kimberley

Kimberley — Sun, 09 Jan 2022 11:46:09 +0000

I experienced a spiritual narcissist in a very small church. She presumes to be a prophet but uses her position to mine people for resources. I entered the ‘church’ after 22 years of DV with a malignant narcissist. I gave her a Mercedes’ Benz, a new LV bag, money from shares … and she and her husband went on a shopping spree on my credit card … it was given to them for a specific purpose … to do the garden and 2 small decks … they refused to give me the receipts and spent about 10,000 dollars … she is a false prophet and the husband bullies on her behalf … he once said “when have their heart you’ve got them…” no educated individual is allowed in the church … she screens people and deliberately offends them if she thinks they will ‘ make trouble’ . I confronted her and she contacted my next church … to discredit and slander me so she did not get caught… I sent them a legal defamation letter but they have continued to defame me for years … it was so controlling … and even thought my ex-partner had tried to strangle me twice … I have to say spiritual abuse is the worst thing I have ever been through …
She does not have a congregation but has an audience. People report back about each other so she can control and mine them … out of 30 people most are either DV survivors or have a history of mental health. When they gain strength she undermines them.- almost all of their family members think it is a cult … but she knows how to fool other pastors so remains in control of her ‘flock’. She once claimed to see Jesus walking down the isle … this was not at the healing or worship stage of the service … but during the tithing … she actually said the words “give to Jesus” and her followers actually believed her … they looked so excited … after I confronted her … everyone shunned me and believe silly lies … it’s been over 3 years and I am still recovering … plus she affected me at my new church so I couldn’t easily get settled and make new friends in the community

By: Nita

Nita — Sat, 27 Feb 2021 22:53:56 +0000

Yes, 30 years of marriage, almost 3 years divorced and my ex still acts as a spiritual leader in the church I attended since I was a teenager. I managed to stop attending over 12 months ago with my disabled daughter and have since been discarded by all the members, as he continues to act like the caring person that I know he is not. He continues to make up stories about me to discredit my chatacter. He has removed my entire support network with his lies.

By: Emily Cooper

Emily Cooper — Fri, 10 Jul 2020 05:26:02 +0000

Your post are always so spot on but this one really hits home for me. I was raised in a cult, a spiritual bible-based cult. My parents left our church and sold our home and moved in with these people who convinced them that it was what God wanted for their life. Little by little our entire life became a fucking hell. I got out last September finally realizing what it was, was the shock and devastation of my life. Many of my friends on the outside told me that they knew there was something funny going on there.. I never even suspected, not even when back in 2013 we hired experts to come out to our group because one of the women there was going through a custody battle with her ex-husband the ex-husband was stating that she had joined a cult so she hired these experts to combat what he was saying. They instead ended up confirming that we were indeed a cult. I was literally shocked just floored that anybody would think that we were a cult. We were just a group of family and friends I thought, that liked and loved each other and wanted to be around each other and serve Yahweh together. There was child abuse, that didn’t stop when I was an adult. Char the leader calls herself àn apostle and likens herself to a modern day Moses. She abused people horribly spiritually emotionally mentally and physically. But she kind of picked and chose who she abused physically and the people who grew up there especially the women got the worst of the physical abuse. I don’t know how I didn’t know before that it was a cult. I was 35 when I left, I spent my life there thinking it was what God wanted for me. I’m glad that I know the truth but it’s also the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I had so many people that loved and looked after me and now they all have nothing to do with me and truly believe I am evil and going to hell. I have been completely ostracized and demonized by my family and friends that are still there. Ill stop here I could go on for pages and probably write a book about the abuses and injustices I’ve suffered since childhood but I just want to thank you so much! For being here for people like me. These videos and posts have helped me so much. I appreciate you. God bless 🙏

By: Wildhoney

Wildhoney — Fri, 10 Jul 2020 05:00:35 +0000

This article comes at the right moment! My Ex is pretty well known in the spiritual world and has written several books, says he is spiritually realized and talked about soul contracts and karmic connection. When I entered the relationship I didn’t know he has parallel affairs with his students, calling it priestess „initiation“, i.e. I was supposed to be something special. What followed were years of secrets, because his public image needed to be protected, whilst he used the secret space to fill it with other students, using our emotional vulnerability and NLP tactics. In fact, what he presents on the outside is the exact opposite of what he does privately, only that he is exactly teaching that, to align your inner being with what you do. I found out what he was doing and have had the shock of my life, trying to work my way out still. The manipulation, the outrageous lies, the hypocrisy are still going on and are outrageous. I guess nobody would believe what goes on behind the scenes and I still cannot believe it myself. It makes me so angry that he leads people on and I am so angry with myself that I didn’t see that for so many years… Everytime I try to heal the anger I get triggered again, but I keep going…

By: Melissa P

Melissa P — Sun, 03 Nov 2019 13:06:36 +0000

Hi Melanie, sorry I’m a bit late to the party here, but I know God’s timing is perfect. I actually stumbled across your article while looking online for materials that I can use to help my teenage daughter cope with her narcissistic father and my best friend through her divorce to her spiritually narcissistic husband.

Upon reading your article I found some great nuggets to help them, but I also received some great enlightenment of my own in trying to deal with the trauma of leaving my former church after 11 years. The guilt associated with leaving “God’s house” is a pain too deep to describe and you can’t possibly understand it unless you’ve experienced it. I battle daily with thoughts of my salvation being lost and my daughter’s future being destroyed by my decision to leave and the financial ruin I will face for no longer tithing and supporting God’s missions. To this day I go into a panic at the mere mention of the word church and I shy away from any conversations about God unless I truly trust the person not to try to manipulate me. I could go on and on, but let’s just say that had I stayed at that church I would have eventually taken my own life at some point because the religious system is designed to set you up to fail. We’re supposed to need God, not be made to feel like failures because we need Him.

Nevertheless, I journey on. God will get me there. Thank you for being part of it. God bless you always.

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Sun, 23 Jun 2019 02:36:26 +0000

In reply to Peace.

Wow Peace that is amazing!

Bless!

Mel 🙏💕♥️

By: Peace

Peace — Sun, 23 Jun 2019 01:56:24 +0000

My first referred to himself as a light worker. I was just about to move into relationship 2 with another “light worker” when I had a dream where I saw myself basically following this person and becoming like them. In the dream, i said to myself I’ve already done this before. Then the scene changed and I became an observer in the dream instead of active participant. There was a female presence there (who a much higher power was pleased about) who was doing something original. What I saw was these hands with particles of light all around. The next day in my car the sunlight hit my sandals and I saw particles of light all around my feet and I thought it was supposed to be me in the dream. Then a few days later I came across the NARP materials and I knew I had been guided to them. It was the picture on Module 2.

By: Wanda

Wanda — Tue, 26 Feb 2019 14:38:27 +0000

Hello,
I am excited to have found this site while doing a search for Narcissist and Spirituality. The information here is just what I needed today. I have so much to share!
First off, I am close to 60 years old, professionally successful, and from what I hear, I looked like I am in my late 30’s. I have raised three wonderful children and been married a few times before.
In 2016, I lost three members of my immediate family one after the other. The first was my invalid father’s wife (my step-mother). Now prior to her death, I had spent the previous two years being the POA for my father who experience double leg amputations. I was the only family member available to help him and travel the 2 hours, to see about him. I couldn’t keep a stable relationship during this time and I was okay with that because my father was my first priority and I knew that the Lord had planned and prepared me for this service. I will say it took a toll on me emotionally and I really didn’t address it or deal with it. I know I’m a caregiver of sorts because the many years prior to his illness, I helped take care of his mother, my grandmother. So in 2016, step-mother passes, unexpectedly. My father needed to get moved from Va. to NC, so my sister and I could help him. We got him moved a month after his wife passed and spend most of this months getting him settled into his own handicapped apartment in our home town and getting his finances in order. I wish I could share the full testimony of that experience because the Lord made a way for us that could have only been HIM, but I’ll save that for now. His mother, my grandmother was at this time in a nursing home in the same town, on her last stage of life. My father suffered a stroke and passed 7 mos after getting him moved. Since I was POA, I led the family in making the arrangements and handling his affairs. I have an older sister and younger brother, that helped as much as they could. Two months after he passed, his mother passed. A few weeks later I met the Narcissist online. Of course, the first attraction was physical. He is very handsome with a beautiful smile. Your classic, tall, dark and handsome. We started talking and when I found out that he was a minister in training, I immediately told him, that he might want to find someone else because I was a broken mess and probably wouldn’t be right for him (MISTAKE number one). He talked the word a lot and it actually begin to awaken my dead spiritual side of depression. I felt that he was sent to me at that time. He live an hour away, with his mother and we didn’t see each other for awhile, only facetiming. He shared how bad he was being treated by his mother because he had a ‘past’ history of crack abuse. I felt bad for him. The relationship escalated very quickly and the manipulation began almost immediately. I’m now seeing the pursuit for the new source in action. I messed around and Christmas time and felt guilty because I didn’t buy so I purchased a nice saying to hang in his car and sent him a key to my apartment, so he would know that he always had some place he could come (MISTAKE two). He came to see me once or twice then showed up in the middle of the night in March 2017. He was high and claimed the constant pressure and ridicule had broken him down. I felt so bad for him. I questioned why anyone would treat someone so bad when they were only trying to get better. He was attending church regularly, bible studies and was enrolled in a Minister-in-Training course with the church. Of course, I bought every lie he told and wasn’t any the wiser until I started seeing behavior that was Christ-like. He started using Crack more often and always stated that the Lord was delivering him. I tried to encourage him by telling him that was better than Crack and he was already delivered, he just needed to walk in it. Eventually, I became the bad person treated him bad, in his eyes. He wanted me to sit back and be silent about the drugs and allow him get through each episode of getting high and watching porn. After each time, he was remorseful (or so it seemed) and he was gonna quit.
Let me add right here, in 2016, I started smoking cigarettes for calming and I would use some marijuana whenever I could get it. So he felt that what I was doing was no better than his weekly episodes. So I closed my mouth and prayed for both of us broken people. We his church about three times, than came the excuse that we could just attend my church here in town for awhile. Okay.
After awhile we weren’t going to either church because usually on Sundays, he was recouping. He was unemployed when he arrived but found a job in August, 2017. We married in June 2017 (MISTAKE three) with the assurance that he would be able to quit the drug with some stability. NOT!
So into 2018, the representative is gone and true being is ever present. He is money hungry and always talks about how much I make. He proudly gives money for some household things but counts it out to the penny. Needless to say, I carry 80% of the load and he could care less. His contract job ended in early 2018 and he received unemployment. All of that went to the drug dealer, because he was ‘depressed’. He then had hip surgery and I’m thinking, perfect time to get yourself together. Well he did, in his mind. He started posting some inspirational sayings on Facebook every day and his friends list grew very quickly because he accepted anyone (mainly females). I thought it strange that each saying he posted started with “I submit” then he would say something spiritually based but never included the scripture. He now has over 1000 followers that he know less than an 1/8 of them. He stalks my FB page and made all kinds of accusations about what I was doing, which was absolutely nothing. These people pump him up daily and are calling him Pastor, preacher, Man of God, etc. He did not finish the Minister training class, for whatever reason he made up and as far as I saw never really received any deliverance from the drug or deal with his issues.
Once I started having to fight for my voice or explain away his crazy idea about me, I became the evil one. Resistant to God’s word, rebellious to God’s teaching and everything else he wanted to add.
All the torment and anguish came to a head this past Christmas, 2018. Of course, everything is about him and what he’s experiencing or feeling. I was looking into spiritual warfare and had already begin calling out those spirits and identifying the Narcissism. Well silly me, I unleashed his wrath and no day was peaceful. The week after Christmas, he was having one of rants and my normal response was to go in the second bedroom and barricade it, but this night I was busy and couldn’t get in my car and leave or retreat in the other room. He was in preaching me into hell mode and wouldn’t stop. I was begging him to stop coming at me. Now in previous arguments, I would throw stuff to run him away from me or just leave until he calmed down. *Now, I’m the Narcissist*. BUT, this night, I was tired of his noise and needed him to stop. I threw a picture at him and it landed near him in the bedroom. By now, I am angry and tired and went down the hall to pick up the broken picture. He was standing near it pointing at it when I walked in the room. I bent to pick it up, still angry, I grabbed it off the floor and at the same time, he was bending and when my hand came up with the picture it hit him square in the eye. He hollered out, fell on the bed, holding his eye. I didn’t feel anything for him at that moment and could have cared less about his performance. I went back to what I was doing and didn’t concern with him nor his eye that evening. I didn’t go to bed until late that evening and the next day I got on a train and went to three hours away to visit my two oldest children. I needed that quiet time to collect myself and reflect on the night before. I was as remorseful and sorrowful as I had ever been in my life. I cried and prayed during that three hours. I believe it was during that time that the Lord started to show me this abusive relationship. I was a shell of myself during the visit because I was so hurt inside. The very next day, he called early to tell me that he had gotten into an accident at work and had to have 14 stitches in the top of his head. I arrived home later that evening and needless to say, he was able to wipe the floor with me for another few days. We did go to the eye doctor, and to the other doctors that he insisted on seeing. He has a Worker’s Comp claim now and has had an attorney since the evening of the accident. He claims this is all the Lord’s will so he can get this big payout and not have to work while he recovers. I has been a shame and embarrassment watching him milk these people. I have been in medicine for 35 years and teach my craft now, so I know clearly, that he is not as bad off as he putting on.
We had plans to move out of my apartment this year and he is having nothing to do with the arrangements, that’s all me. He has money stashed on a spending card and pays only what he feels is necessary in the household. He hasn’t been to church in almost a year and thinks sitting home all day listening to old gospel songs and old sermons is building him into this great Preacher. He answers to no one physically, and no one can tell him he’s not right. Yet, every morning and afternoon, he reminds me of how little I know and what I think and what I’m doing. I started visiting a therapist after the eye accident. It scared me because, I had never experienced that much rage and apathy. It was in our second session that she gave me some paperwork about recognizing an abusive relationship. I was devastated to see that I am with an abusive person. He has manipulated, lied, twisted scriptures, denied scriptures, sweet one minute, harsh the next, said things that just shouldn’t be said in a marriage or caring relationship and blamed me for it all.
I could go on and on but you all can fill in the blanks with any kind of madness and you won’t be far off.
Now, I’m planning my departure. My emotions are all over the place, because I’m so hoping that he gets better and gets deliverance, but part of me knows that will not happen as long as he can use me and hide away from the world. I really don’t know how the Lord is going to work this out because I am literally going to have to move out from under him. Which means, everything is mine, even the car he drives. This is the worse scenario that I have ever created for myself. I do have plans of leaving him and he knows it, so of course, he is trying to tame the beast but he can’t hide who he really is from me any longer.
My sanity is returning with counseling and as she explained, in 2016, I was in a series of grief episodes that kept getting interrupted by another death. I never got to grieve fully and he was not help to me at all. I feel like I have been in a cloud for 2 years or more and he could have cared less.
Right now, I am nothing more than the maid, bread winner, bill payer, cook, everything as per his demands.
I also find peace in the fact, that he really doesn’t know me at all and as the Lord continues to put people in my path, I am reminded that I have a special gift for encouraging and making others feel special. I am an Empath, Nurturer, loving person that just wants to get better in the Lord and do HIS will for my life and the life of others.
This by far is the hardest journey.

Thank you all for making this journey a bit

By: Ellie

Ellie — Sun, 03 Feb 2019 20:43:26 +0000

I was caught completely off guard a few months ago with what I now know as a spiritual narcissist. I have been married for over 20 years and the last 3-4 years have been rough. My husband and I were great roommates but little else. I lost my employment at the same church a was a member of in one devastating termination due to my family attending another church. This was a profound loss since I put all of myself into my ministry. For weeks I spent all of my time job hunting as I worked through all the feelings of shock, disappointment and grief. Then a member of my family suffered from a serious medical emergency. I was called upon to speak for this family member since I was the next of kin. This was also devastating to carry this burden considering I already look after the care of my mother who suffers from dementia. I felt alone and scared while still suffering grief and loss over my job. I decided to call on a friend, a pastor at the church I was just fired from to hep give me hope, encouragement and spiritual guidance in regards to my hospitalized family member. He came and provided support but over the next few days, our interactions became more personal. He began to relentlessly pursue me for a sexual relationship for weeks. He is also married. I tried to end it once I first realized that an emotional relationship was forming but the trauma bonding, brain washing, love bombing and manipulation had already begun. With my vulnerability and new disgust for the church, I was sucked into his web of narcissism and didn’t even know what I was dealing with. I became entangled with him to the extreme. My husband made the discovery 3 months later and was actually the one who rescued me from this stronghold. I ended my relationship with the pastor and started therapy right away and slowly made the discovery that I had been dealing with a personality disorder. I don’t deny I made mistakes during my “drug induced” altered state
of mind but the hold this man had on me was scary and appalling. I have been working to break the addiction I had on him and move forward seeking healing and forgiveness. I am blessed to now have the husband that I always wanted. I just hope I can prove to be the wife he always wanted even with this scar on our relationship.