Thank you very much for the support and clear answers.
I saw the videos about no contact but it seems i can only make a public comment there and I rather prefer not to do this.
But I recognize your story so much. I was 18 y in a relationship with a narc and everyone still finds it a wonder how I came out of it the way I did…and alive. The divorce is since June and I moved far away since we have no children. What made me go for the divorce was the fact that after a very serious and painful uterine embolisation where i came out of the operation with many complications. One of them paralyzed legs they were not sure were going to recover. Then his mask dropped fully. Instead of caring in any way he did nothing when a nurse without any reason refused go give me morphine the doctor prescribed (btw my ex is also a doctor and did nothing to help!). and he dropped me in a hotel after the operation since I wan not able to take care of myself and he was not willing to do it. We had a practice together and I left everything.
Now I live at the seaside but I need to build up everything. Sometimes I had contact with him because we still need to arrange some things but he uses that to hurt me, say he will find me,…Some people are telling me I need to go back and stand for the things that were mine. My name is still on the door bell of our business and he tells everyone we’re still married but that I’m home and only see people via Skype…I’m certain I’m smeared and it’s now clear to me that he began to break down everything I had from the beginning of the relationship. A couple of days ago I thought: maybe they are right and I need to go back and pick up my life there (not with him) but since he stripped me financially that would mean that I would need to ask him to help me to find a place there…and why should he do that anyway? Well, he wrote down all the cruel things he did to me on paper. Very unusual I think for a narc. He wrote that he watched how i was abused in the hospital without doing something, about the stalking of his family and how he deleted evidence from my mobile, his porn addiction and so many other things like how he ruined my business. i didn’t use this in the divorce against him. We came to mutual agreements because he didn’t want to have this in the open or in front a judge. I don’t know why he did this. Probably he thought i was going to tolerate his behavior further…But now i’m sitting/lying here with a severe flew since I nearly tried to have a conversation with him about returning home. Some people find i need to ask back what he took away and with the evidence I have against him there is a big chance he will follow in. The find this standing in my power. But when I look to your videos about no contact and all your other videos and the narp work i wonder if the way of lying pressure on him with evidence to go back to an environment where I was so betrayed is going to help? I notice that every time I have contact it’s so toxic and like you told about yourself I feel that trying to deal with this men is destructive. So some people say I ran away and that holding my ground or returning is standing in my power…but it feels like it could be the final punch he can give me. Stay away: physically (distance), emotionally, mentally, spiritually and set up boundaries when he will try to breach them here seems a better, healthier option even if it means starting all over?

Hi Nath,

It’s my pleasure and that’s fabulous that you are clearing trauma and showing up authentically.

As Thrivers who love and respect ourselves and take full responsibility for our own boundaries, contracts are essential.

Good for you for standing in your truth!

Mel 🙏💕❤️

Thank you very much Mel for this clear answer.

Yes I’m working with the NARP modules and the free resources.
I also went to a lady who was going to do footreflexology but once there she also has a healing way and she felt like you describe that the toxix energy gets in our system and you become negatively loaded and so within so without. Together with NARP it felt like a heavy bag fakking from my shoulders😊 and when the person called who’s offering me a job I could calmly explain what my needs are and what seems financially a honest deal to me. To my surprise she said she could follow my vision and is willing to look how we can make a deal we are both satisfied with. For me it’s important that she’s also willing then to put this change in a contract if I would engage…so not I think it means I still need to clear further trauma. I mean it’s important to have trust again in people but a contract needs to be what is dicussed for me. So I started to have difficult conversations😊
Thanks 💕🙏
Nath

Hi Nath,

In our Quantum universe of so within so without, any strong emotional programs we have about our life do play out.

Personally I wouldn’t consider the doingness on something when I know my beingness is still traumatised by.

Have you checked out my free inner transformational resources? http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freecourse

If you are already connected to them and NARP then it really is about dedicating to the Module work for this fear and then proceeding once it’s cleared.

Dedicated Module work creates breakthroughs very quickly.

Mel 🙏💕❤️

I look to this episode because for the moment I’m trying to start again with my profession-self-employed after serious narcissistic abuse. Thing is I want to become financially independent asap from ex (he needs to pay now) but I tried 4 times now to step into a group practice. The first time the distance was also part of the problem but the other 3 times it seems people try to take advantage from me financially (and I’m triggered then since I lost everything in this aspect, the narc really destroyed my business).
Does it mean that I need to heal further before trying to search for a job because I’m radiating the frequency of my wounds now? I planned to start my business here at home again but then the narc who doesn’t know where I live said he or his proxy’s will find me and it scared me because of what happened in the past.
Can you give me any advice in this? how to regain my power? To build my business up again?
thank you!
Nath

Hi Angelique,

I love what you have shared with us all here.

Thank you, this was perfectly explained.

Mel 🙏💕❤️

I’ve had a few intuitions of danger but never realised what was happening until later. One took about 40kmp off my driving speed, just enough to save my life on the next hill. Another I ignored and forced myself to keep walking with the result I tripped on a wire and broke my arm.
So, I tend to disagree it does not matter. I’d like to be more ‘aware’ should I get the same sensations again. I think you probably have the likeliest route to that end – good self-care, keeping in touch with the body, sweeping out the debris, being present …..

In the ’90s I used to drive up and down to the city a lot, using a short-cut through Snowtown. I was driving back about 11pm one night when my car started playing up. I looked out to a farmhouse light across the paddocks and thought, ‘oh well if I break down I can walk across there’ … and a ‘silent voice’ in my mind screamed back No! Danger! Back then, I would never have taken a voice in the head seriously, so it may be as well my car didn’t break down, as a year or so later we discovered the farmhouse I passed was a ‘bodies in barrels’ house.

So, I’d rather be warned than not. I think intuition is worth cultivating.