Hi Jacqui,

I would so suggest to you to come into the NARP Forum. Are you posting there?

A particular Thriver (or myself) may just hand you the key in there!

And from what I am sensing now – it is the “frustration” that needs to be shifting – there is more than likely some block getting in the way – that once found and released all will be much better with your healing journey.

I hope this helps.

Mel xo

Hi Kelly and Mel,
I was just reading back on some old articles Mel wrote and came across this thread and wanted to tell you that what Mel is saying about Narcs being able to ‘feel’ when you are disconnecting from them is very real. I experienced this myself very apparently. I am a very logical person; I have never really taken an interest in understanding energy, spirituality and universal connection to others until my narc experience the last couple years. But now, I am not only aware of it, I experience it almost daily with other people in my life. It’s amazing.
Two months ago (4 months into NARP) I felt completely clear from all hooks and was literally dancing for joy because of how happy and free I felt. That exact night (after my dance), I had a dream that I was back in my old apartment I shared with my ex-narc and he was hanging up my high school graduation pictures. I woke up the next day and all the symptoms of my post traumatic stress disorder came rushing back. This time, because my body had not been feeling those symptoms for quite some time, I became physically sick and was vomiting at the very thought of my ex-narc. I had been out of my relationship for 2 years, never had communication with him and NEVER dreamt about him (even when I was in my painful state), until the day I danced for joy. How could this be I asked myself? Why am I dreaming about him now after 2 years?
I work with a few people that help with my healing (Melanie being one of them) and I asked them to look into the dream for me. They said that my ex narc ‘sensed’ that I had moved on (hence the graduation pictures – it was symbolizing me ‘graduating’ from him and him picking up on it), and our old apartment represented the emotions I felt when I was with him. When I was with him I was always in a state of survival mode so being back in that apartment brought it all back. It was his last attempt to try and reconnect with me. So I did not receive a physical email or phone call, but he was trying to reconnect with me through my dreams (energetically on a subconscious level).
I was very distraught because I had done so much work to heal myself and now it was all back. I asked how he was able to do this, and the response I received was, “are you willing to let go of all attachments with your ex whether you win or lose?” I then realized there were still parts of me that was trying to ‘win’ – to get him to see how successful I am without him so he would want me back and I can have the validation of rejecting him. Taking it one step further, this was about my own belief system that “I am unworthy and unloveable unless I am viewed as successful to others.” Because I had not cleared that belief system yet, he was able to reconnect through that unhealed part. It was also the universe telling me I still had some work to do on myself because while I was dancing for joy that night I thought I never had to do work on myself again. The truth is, we are constantly evolving and healing, it’s a journey, not a destination.
So I guess what I am trying to say is that if the narc in your life tries to reconnect with you and is successful at it, do not worry about the actual act itself, look at the HOW and WHY he was able to reconnect. Because what I was told, “when you are completely cleared from the narc, he wouldn’t even know where to find you because you are on a completely different emotional vibration.”

On that note, I do have a question for you Mel regarding this, when a narc is connected to you energetically, how are they getting a feed off of it? Is it making them feel better even if they are feeding off others at the same time? Is it the more they are connected to people the better they feel? Just trying to understand emotionally how this happens.

I agree Dawn ☺ x

Hi Anita, It is the best thing you have done for yourself and Milo (gorgeous name) 🙂 Milo would be thankful in his K9 way as animals are very sensitive to stress and suffer much pain too. Sadly our ‘fur kids’ can’t release the pain with QF directly but I am sure would be able to pick up on our ‘shift’ and vibration to heal too. I sadly did not have the resources or had found Melanie until after my little cat (Madge) had passed away. She was abused and would shake when ‘he’ was around and she would hide. Madge became ill, from stress, suffering severe anxiety and her nervous system shut down. I did my best with her and tried to keep her safe and calm. It helped. The day I took her home (to the country) is the day I burried her. My ex insisted on driving me and I was abused all the way there. They can be cruel monsters and at the time, I felt like being burried with her, but grew strength from the experience. On the way home he dumped me by the side of the road as I was grief stricken and had a breakdown. After that I planned my escape which was not long after. So all you need is you and your beloved children and fur child is more important than anything. You will be empowered by your experience and please hang on. (((Hug))) to you and Milo. X❤

sorry link to videos did not cut and paste properly

Here it is:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tg7DtfY8BCk&feature=player_embedded

Mel xo