Comments on: Protecting Yourself From Narcissists As A Highly Sensitive Person

By: Anna

Anna — Wed, 09 Nov 2022 08:56:58 +0000

Dear Mrs Evans, I want to thank you for this website, I wrote some months ago, after my ex partner discarded and abandoned me screaming. NowI am trying to work on me thanks to your site that really made me understand much more than many sites and many psychotherapists, I am very tired, much more and shot down by so many screams and manipulations. I would also like to thank you for this article, no one understood that I am highly sensitive as well as empathetic. I tried to explain it to friends and some psychotherapists, but they didn’t understand me. You understand! Please believe that I am truly grateful to you, thank you for the good you do. you helped me a lot. he has left me many times but only after reading your site I started to break away. Thank you. Gpd bless you, Melanie.

By: Justin

Justin — Fri, 04 Oct 2019 23:48:13 +0000

Hi Everyone
At 68 I’m trying to free myself from my Narc father, age 90.( My mother is also a Narc, age 88 but has lost her power with me. I’ve not seen her in about 40 years after she attempted to testify against me in court.) My dad still hold power over me because he controls money left to me in an inheritance from his brother and dangles a big inheritance from himself as bait to keep me as an energy source. I cut off contact with him for 10years but now write him. It seems I must decide between risking losing the inheritance and having my freedom back to be myself.

The real solution for me is to love myself and build enough confidence in myself that my dad does not and can not control my emotions and self esteem.

Thank you, Melanie, for teaching me that the real work is to fix myself.

By: cazza

cazza — Tue, 27 Aug 2019 23:18:22 +0000

Hi Mel
Thank you for your words of encouragement. I have a younger sister who displays certain NAR qualities, having been away overseas for 17 years. She has come back “on the white horse” to look after my elderly mother who has MND. The moment she arrived everything I had done for the past year was marginalised and criticised. When I offer help she shuts me down by refusing to be helped and takes the mick out of me, taking a horrible photo of my backside when bending over and then using my mothers facebook account to post it on my facebook. No apology, just a raft of personal attacks over since when did I not like having my photo taken? She looks after my parents on a very strict regime and is living in their house as a paid care taker taken control over everything and has created a situation where my parents now have a huge dependency on her and are too frightened to upset her. She always talks “at me” and not with me and accuses me of having a mental problem and for being overly sensitive. Appears to have no empathy towards my mother and father and anything I do to make things abit nicer for Mum she sabotages. She chucks away flowers I bring, tosses aside a teddy bear I gave Mum. Its a living nightmare, we can’t have a normal discussion on what is best for Mum and Dad, as its her way or nothing. Once she has done the basics she then heads off on her daily extensive exercise programme. I have to dance round her not being there so I avoid the funky behaviour. All I see is a show being put on, cooking and making coffee for the daily outside carers that come in to assist her with Mum. Cooking for nurses at Hospice, and missing the point that the care Mum has whilst she was there wasn’t the best. I raised the alarm and then she attacks me for upsetting the nurses instead of hearing me out. Hospice want us to have mediation, I don’t see her saying yes lets mediate to get best care for Mum and Dad. She sees no problem here, why mediate? The only problem is me and it would me who has to bend and arrange the mediation of which now that I think I have a NAR on my hands – is it worth it ?

By: Michelle

Michelle — Fri, 07 Jun 2019 00:25:00 +0000

Hi Tonia, I am currently in this relationship myself.

Everything you said about having to deal with a narcissistic parent as a child as a highly sensitive individual is true. Unfortunately my mother would give me silent treatment to the point where my dad would tell her to stop. Although in turn he could and was emotionally and physically abusive towards me at times.

Fast forward to my current relationship. The mask has come off, he has gone from a loving and interested partner to a critical and manipulative one. Everything revolves around him, and when I stand my ground I am stroppy or over emotional. I can do nothing right, everything about me is too sensitive and my input in anything is undervalued unless I am feeding him his supply of admiration

Coming into this relationship I was very active and fit. Now I drink to cope. I moved across Australia believing this was my soulmate and now my soul is destroyed

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Thu, 30 May 2019 01:32:47 +0000

In reply to Debs.

Awww Deb’s,

Sweetheart I am so proud of you.

That’s awesome you picked up NARP, that enough is enough, you are doing the inner work and on your way to healing!

You are so welcome lovely lady.

Sending you continued love, blessings and breakthroughs.

Please know our wonderful entire NARP community have got you held lovingly and you’ve got this too.

Mel 🙏💕❤️

By: Debs

Debs — Wed, 29 May 2019 20:21:11 +0000

–>Why am I telling people what they want to hear instead of living in my own truth and healthy values? Because of wanting to be liked or loved, when it shouldn’t matter what they think about me, what’s important is what I think, like and love about myself.

–>Why am I dancing around someone’s wounds and subjugating myself in the process? Same answer as above.

–>Why don’t I let go and risk losing that abusive person and the life I had with them, and know and live out the truth that I deserve better? Same answer as above.

“I relinquish reading your energy and appeasing you to feel safe and loved. Today, I take my power back, by feeling into me and healing what I need to, to start generating my own truth.

You can kick, scream, shout, guilt and blame me, yet I no longer listen to you. No longer am I obligated to you and you have no obligation to me. Your happiness is your own job, just as mine is my own.

Today I stop dancing to and feeding your wounds. Instead, I turn inwards to heal my own – to know my values and truth and live aligned to them, no matter what, and detach and let go of who and what no longer is.

I take back my soul to generate my life with the people and resources who match my values, truth, heart and future.

I release you back to your truth and free myself and claim my own.

And so it is.”

I have been two weeks on NARP, and it has helped me to go no contact, heal inner traumas I have had and held for a very long time, and any time I have one bubble up again, I go to my NARP and work on myself to shift it all out. Thank you Melanie, you are an Angel that came to me whilst I was at my lowest point not knowing which way to turn.

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Thu, 09 May 2019 21:53:56 +0000

In reply to Joseph Huth.

Hi Joseph,

I am so happy for you that you are healing and emerging into your True Self and True Life.

You are always welcome.

Love and blessings to you.

Mel 🙏💕❤️

By: Joseph Huth

Joseph Huth — Thu, 09 May 2019 19:36:31 +0000

I did all of these things because I thought I had to do them to be a good person, that self-denial was essential, that I was “supposed to” do these things, that doing them was natural and real and if I didn’t, I was unworthy, undeserving, inadequate, and if I was unworthy, undeserving, and inadequate, then I was unloved. Once, when standing up for myself, my mother said “I love you because you are my son, but you need to be worthy of my love.” This mixed-message, manipulative statement says it all for me. It was only several months ago, and with your help, Melanie, that I began to understand what had happened to me. I am healing more and more every day. I am grateful to you for being an essential part of this process. Bless you.

By: Viktoria

Viktoria — Mon, 15 Apr 2019 20:14:03 +0000

#2 Dancing: Because my own family never spoke openly, I danced around my bfs family, who spoke and partially reflected. I tried to learn sth. and find hints for myself. But it all was so foggy in my mind that time.
#3 Fear of hurting the other person and then feel the hurt myself. Also fear of not being able to live alone (was young and single overprotected child)
I am now 8 years separated from this relationship. It gets clelarer and clearer how that one was wrong. Still difficult for me to evaluate my actual relationship and friendships.