Comments on: Protecting Yourself When the Narcissist Tries To Punish You

By: Sanewoman

Sanewoman — Thu, 01 Sep 2022 14:35:27 +0000

They stalk, surveillance, drug, confuse and whatever they can to bend reality to their will. Even though it’s not actually reality. I’ll publish their journal so everyone can see them for the predatory old man toddler they really are.

By: David Busby

David Busby — Sat, 01 Jan 2022 22:13:02 +0000

In reply to Val. Source neither punishes or rewards. Infinite truth never divides against itself. So it follows, in the long run no one judges us but ourselves. We are our own reward and our own punishment. Understanding this also nourishes healthy boundaries with others.

By: Sherry

Sherry — Fri, 26 Nov 2021 03:53:26 +0000

Hello….. How to protect myself against a Malignant Narcissistic personality…..
Downright STRESSFUL from my end. In short, bought my condo 18m ago and knew I was living across from from a Council member. On my second day here, she, at the front door foyer and I entering the fouer, the look on her face all twisted, glaring at me. A look I shall not forget. Fast forward 6mnths past that, I accidently spilled liquid soap at my front door, the cap just came off. I attended to it immediately and texted the President to make aware of soap stain. Well, when this Council member came home, knocked on my door and went all to pieces regarding this wet stain. She went OFFF THE RAILS !!!!!! I apologized profusely, however, she would not let it go, rantinggggg !!!!! . Fast forward again and the REAL personality revealed…..She possesses a SOUND SENSOR, THERMAL IMAGING, NIGHT VISION GOGGLES and INFRA RED HEAT …She averages 70 hours per week monitoring me from behind her door, ALWAYS AT THAT DOOOR !!!!!!!!! There IS a dip to her flooring which I clearly hear. Reached the point, I CANNOT talk on the phone, because of the sound sensor. As if that was not bad enough, she goes to the neighbor next to me, who used to be a council member and I CLEARLY HEAR HER PUTTING ONE FOOT IN THIS NEIGHBORS DRY BATHTUB, EAR TO THE WALL.. I have her down as CRUEL and SADISTIC..She is RUTHLESS, NO EMPATHY, NO CONSCIENCE.. She ****IS**** OBSESSED WITH POWER. She is the treasurer here NOT the President.. SO upsetting !!!! Right at this moment as I type this, she, getting her apparatus ready for this evening,goggles, infra red, imaging. How I know she has thermal imaging ?? …She SCANS the apartment/AUDIBLE and sets her sights on me for the evening, using the infra red. Has various degrees to it.. One’s bedroom supposed to be safe haven, a retreat after a busy day, NOT THE CASE !!!! .Have CALLED THE POLICE and am told….. NOTHING TANGIBLE TO WORK WITH, JUST MY WORD ??!!?? .Not like I am renting and can move just in a snap.. Selling is adifferent set of circumstances. This was to be my home. No end to this womans mercurial behaviours.. POINTLESS to talk to her as that would be accusatory. She HAS ENEMIES in the bdlg I am told…. I am beside myself…. At this moment she is scurrying in her apartment as she prepares herself for tonight…She has no friends over, just visiting this ex council member every night and then when she arrives at her suite, ON GOES THE SENSOR, ETC……IT IS FRIGHTENING !!!! at 2AM, lying in my bed, AWAKENED by the INCREASE IN TEMPERATURE from INFRA RED, and SHE WITH HER GOGGLES WATCHING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! .I live alone, IF I had a man in here THIS WOULD NOT BE HAPPENING !! . SHE HAS MANY FACES OF EVE, THAT I KNOW….Multi personality/antisocial,sadistic, and aggressive…..All these behaviours from the day of the soap spill… It, apparent, a changed World alright with this type of person in it, I donot know her apart from being across the hall, and now I am her VICTIM…. Bad time of year to sell, try to be strong, so difficult in knowing she is ALWAYS THERE, ALWAYS MONITORING.. Always thinking of ways to be a sadist….. Sharing my story gives me a tad comfort, yet, it starts all over…..

I have her down as Cruel and Sadistic, she is RELENTLESS with her actions

By: Tanya Kama

Tanya Kama — Tue, 14 Sep 2021 01:16:03 +0000

This is Tanya again. I still have much to communicate. I was baffled by just how many of us have endured the same toxic, hurtful, one sided, destructive relationships. In which we all seem to articulate and communicate impressively well, and all highly intelligent. I found it sad, comforting and alarming all at the same time that much of my exact verabge and exact ways I feel, or lack feeling currently, don’t feel, the intense and concerning and extensive medical, mental and physical ailments In Which have been extremely debilitating is clearly a direct result from years of giving up our minds, spirits, souls, motivation, drive, priorities, energy which has seemingly left many of us feeling as though we lost ourselves and can’t recall who we are, what we like, what we enjoy nor do we have the energy to exert I. Our hobbies and interests at one point we would be so elated to participate in. I can honestly say I feel a complete disconnect with my soul. With this sever physical nervous breakdown I can’t think clearly, retain very little, lack an adequate amount of focus, can’t eat or sleep for the first time in my life, my arms hands and legs shake like a leaf, I have zero patience and or coping skills, my vision gets blurry, or often see black amd white dots caving in, can’t function or keep up with my daily task, get clammy hands, drop things constantly ( my balance off and I am typically very coordinated with exceptional balance being I was a competitive gymnast and could do back handsprings ( back flips on a six inch beam) . Lost quite a bit of weight, aged 10 years in 3 months, feel I could collapse or die at any moment starting to hallucinate from the severity and lack of sleep and eating properly. So all these things are beyond frustrating, scary debilitating and have now been Taking from the quality of my life and my thoughts go to feeling this isn’t a life and then I find my mind going places that are very unfamiliar to me. Dark thoughts but only because I want the peace and rest. It’s a very helpless feeling being an exceptionally strong woman but having no control over my thoughts and physical disconnect from my mind. I’m exhausted can’t shower now developing depression ( never felt that ever) fear of leaving my home as I’ve been holed up for 3 months to try and recover and to limit stressors that have the ability to cause regression yet when my ex comes over cuz I beg him to care for the dogs to hospitalize myself and he sees me in the extremely serious state and health he has no restraint nor any regard to avoid conflict and to help my progression continue. I have been the rock, I take care of all things ( hubby has never rented his own place or even with a roomie, never paid a bill, wrote a check, opened up an account on his own, purchase his own vehicle, or put himself on his own cell phone plan). He’s almost 50 years old and has been catered to my mommy daddy and then me. It’s no wonder he feels entitled, gets angry when flr the first time he worked two years ago And would throw drunken rage is about how he would work just to contribute towards bills I reminded him welcome to adulthood this is why people work.
My daughter at age 26 has accomplished so much more than my own husband at age 50 she went off to college and graduated top 10% of her class at Loyola of Chicago University she has traveled to Europe she has rented her own apartment, she has purchased her own vehicle she has been promoted to senior publicist
And just the four short years she has been working with this major publishing house in downtown Chicago and she got into her career in which she majored in just two weeks after graduation I worked since I was 16 years old I was out on my own a week after I graduated from high school got a full-time job put myself through college had my daughter raised her all on my own since I birthed her at age 20! I was very self-sufficient and then Extremely driven quite happily independent and was a very healthy happy, positive, fun, warm, trusting woman in which my husband soon to be ex took all of it away from me I don’t even know who I am anymore he sucked me dry he sucked my soul, spirit, money, desire to continue on, energy’ mind, Health, happiness, drive trust In others, my sanity, my goals and ambition and intense excitement for life, business endeavors, my creativity and all of my energy to the point where I don’t even know left from right. I truly believe that no one person should have this kind of control over your mental and physical state and well-being but unfortunately this isn’t a choice that I have mean this is a disconnect where your body start shutting down and the neurologist explained to me that people can die from stress they can go blind from stress and I have lost function of my body and to the point where I am now hallucinating and should be hospitalized but I moved out to Maui with my husband I have no core friends here no family I have begged my ex-husband to please take care of the dog so I can go hospitalize myself but yet he comes and asks what he can do to help if I ask him to walk the dogs his response is fuck you don’t tell me what to do he starts yelling and screaming getting combative because he knows I won’t tolerate it and I will kick him out and that’s what he wants so that he can justify leaving and not being there it is on me because
I had to ask him to leave but it’s all manipulation he pushes my buttons he was screaming cause a scene put the roof over my head at risk knowing that I have no other option but to ask him to leave and then says it was my doing. I truly believed him to be a textbook sociopath but after reading this I realize he’s also a narcissist and could quite possibly be on the cusp of a psychopath considering that he has collected numerous panties of women he has cheated on me with which I read up on and typically that next step is peeping toms or this could be him breaking into homes. Along with being absolutely mortified disgusted repulsed confused finding him on little girl porn sites and these are girls that don’t have pubic hair yet or even that mosquito bites for breasts so he has some very very deep rooted issues dark demons and I have for years felt like I’m sleeping with the enemy I have no idea who this person that I married is nor do I think I want to I just hope he gets the help he needs and leave me alone so I can recover any knowledge recommendation suggestions please feel free to fill me with your knowledge all he has done to me is so absolutely inconceivable and unforgivable that I literally cannot function and he’s the only family or person I could count on here and he is so evil that he is seeing how horribly I’m doing he has cried about how it affects him I have had thoughts that I am ashamed of having I have physically hurt myself I have broken things and none of this is who I am I feel broken and I have that begged him to be there for me and I now realize that what I thought was textbook sociopath he is also a narcissist he has no empathy no accountability no regard for others it’s always been about what he can get out of others, how he can benefit, his feelings and no one elseses. He would take the last dollar from a homeless friend. Even if he had 2 $20’s in his own pocket. It’s beyond I mind screw knowing that the very man I spent 18 years of my life with gave him all of my heart all of my energy would literally dig my grave and he is doing just that. he would stand over me as I’m dying and fight scream yell call me horrific names it’s unreal and so deeply hurtful. This man has not once ever apologized on his own for anything ( not one action, not being physical or mental abuse, not cheating, not lying, not up and leaving me for weeks at a time while I endure horrible medical issues. I have to ask “ do you ha e anything to say and his response is trying to conceptualize the human race that innately has morale, then as sociopath do he will try desperately to mimic how he thinks he’s supposed to apologize but you can very clearly tell it’s never genuine and so forced. And all to literally do the exact same thing an hour later that he just fake apologized for. during my worst medical time he goes binge drinking and has left anywhere from two days at a time to eight weeks and then just shows that like he was never gone I didn’t know if he was dead in a ditch had another family in jail I don’t think I could’ve have gone into an insane asylum or on the streets and hand-picked a homeless drug addict person with extreme mental disorders I couldn’t of hand-picked even out of those people a worse husband than what I did anyone would be better. He is a compulsive liar I was leaving 10 days out of the month to go and work out of town and he would tell me that he was doing Uber or a lift and then Me being the trusting person I am because I am trustworthy I asked him numerous times what he was doing while I was out of town he said he was doing Lyft and Uber I think profusely for contributing and working to help out and finally one of my colleagues said do you really believe what he’s telling you you do know you have an app an iPhone we can track where he is come to find out for a week straight he was telling me he was doing Uber and Lyft but he was partying he was leaving my dog stranded for 16 hours they had no food or drinks and I even tried to give him the benefit of the doubt and thanked him for fiercely for helping and working thinking maybe that would make him feel bad and go to work and then he started getting drunk driving Uber and left driving kids and families to the airport people who are leaving the bar is trying to be responsible are getting in the car with a drunk so I surprised him with the blower and had him blow one day and when he blew a .20 I sold the car that I purchased for him to do Uber and Lyft again this is a man that during the scariest worst medical situation I had endured he leaves when times get the test disappeared for eight weeks I could not work I had to sell everything I owned and value everything I worked my entire life for Just to keep a roof over my head and all he can focus on was that I sold his surfboard and he will bring up things I did 15 years ago because he has nothing and I reminded her I sold my things I sold a $6000 art piece I sold all my Louis Vuitton‘s I sold my grandmothers wedding band and then when that ran out and there were still more bills to pay I sold the surfboard that I bought for him to pay our bills but he doesn’t care about my things I sacrificed now we have literally been separated and he has been living with mommy and daddy for the last six months and he is stocking harassing spying scaring friends men anyone that I have around me and then if he finds out or thinks that I guys interested in me then he will go and basically threaten saying that he’s Hawaiian and he will make sure that guy and whoever I date he will destroy us he will make us want to move off island I am not with the man and he still affecting me every day I believe at this point he’s digging my grave and I’m feeling really hopeless and I do I do feel grateful I came across this site because I realize the severity and how imperative it is to stay away from the very thing that very stressor that very trigger that has literally been debilitating me because I need to recover and I wanna get myself back and I want to heal I know it’ll be a process and I will only invite quality people into my life once I’m feeling back to my normal self does anybody have any recommendations as to what I can do I really just think I should be hospitalized but I don’t have any more to care for my dogs
Any triggers, I start shaking violently, constantly almost collapse or pass out, been excluding myself from any and all social events In summary, I also felt as though I was going crazy. After reading I now realize the horrific and consistent effects these Narsasistic and socio paths have on even the strongest, most intelligent of us. Most don’t understand this isn’t a choice to feel or endure all we have as a result from constant fear, stress, trauma, pain, instability etc etc. BE WELL MY FRIENDS. MAHALO FOR YOUR TIME IN READING MY NOVEL

By: Cindy

Cindy — Mon, 26 Jul 2021 22:13:38 +0000

In reply to Cindy. Sorry, meant to say with the inheritance from the death of a relative. One has to rediscover one's resourcefulness. It can be hugely difficult.

By: Cindy

Cindy — Mon, 26 Jul 2021 22:11:35 +0000

In reply to Cynthia. I turned over my financial assets to my ex to manage while we were married because I trusted him and thought he would be better at this than I. We merged all of our accounts. He often threatened to leave me penniless and to take our daughter. But with the death of a relative, I was able to set up a single account on my own. That ended up being my and our child's lifesaver, along with the documentation I compiled. With karma and our perseverance, all has finally turned out right.

By: Roberta

Roberta — Sat, 10 Jul 2021 18:21:47 +0000

In reply to Isla.

Why do you still call him “My darling boy”?
How about something like – “I loved his imagined narrative which he created to mesmerize me with so I would ignore his true self when it came out.”
It’s like he found out what your buttons are and then created a persona to match your emotional longings. It’s like going to a play and falling in love with the role the actor is playing.
Can you separate these two entities out?
At some point my brain was so scrambled (caused by screaming attacking rants starting at bed time) that I saw a movie and was so emotionally involved with the actor’s role that it was only hours later that I realized that it wasn’t a person at all but someone’s fictional creation – not a true human being – not flesh and blood!!! What a shock!

By: Audrey Dunphy

Audrey Dunphy — Mon, 05 Jul 2021 09:01:25 +0000

In reply to Ramona (aka Ballagh More😁). It's so lovely when people put in words how much they appreciate another.❤️

By: Julie

Julie — Mon, 05 Jul 2021 02:48:30 +0000

Hi. I have been no contact with my former narcissitic partner for 3 months. He moved out on me in December after I lost my temper with him for the first time in three years. I left to go on a walk and to cool off after the fight; I came back four hours later and he had moved out. I was destroyed. I begged and I pleaded and I apologized but he deployed the silent treatment. I was looking to understand what had happened, trying to find answers to what I had done wrong when I stumbled upon one of your videos. My God, what a life changer. I joined your free program and for the first time realized how I was so hurt and unhealed from a lifetime of trauma and he was only the catalyst that brought all the past pain to the surface. I thought I was doing so well and didn’t need to join the full NARP program but I am 7 months out from his leaving, 3 months no contact, and he is still in my head and I am having trouble letting go. SOOO, I am joining NARP bcz I am ready to become healthy and healed and happy.. Thank you Melanie.. You are a life-changer. Gratefully yours, Julie.