Comments on: Revealing The Narcissist’s 7 Favourite Ways To Control And Punish You https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/revealing-the-narcissists-7-favourite-ways-to-control-and-punish-you/ Devastated by a narcissist? Melanie's Narcissism blog offers support & empowering tools to heal & thrive after narcissistic abuse, gain a new life & fulfilling relationships. Fri, 24 Jun 2022 12:11:18 +0000 hourly 1 By: Bonny https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/revealing-the-narcissists-7-favourite-ways-to-control-and-punish-you/#comment-1270532 Fri, 24 Jun 2022 12:11:18 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=10038#comment-1270532 Wow, spot on. When I told him I didn’t like to come home bc the house and yard were such a mess, he said, “DONT COME HIME THEN”! And he said he wouldn’t go to therapy but I should go bc I was the one who needed it. If I asked for something, he’d say, “Domt break your arm patting yourself on the back”! And he hoovered me back by saying he wished he had bullets for his gun bc he’d use it on himself, the second time he cried and said he’d seen the error of his ways (a lie bc he went back to the abuse when I returned). He tried it a third time and I did not go back. The third time was the worst – he stalked me, kept showing up where I was, got into my car, stole my phone and went through it. When I didn’t go back and divorced him, he told people I was a whore and I went crazy like my mother. And in the divorce he got half of my retirement account to reduce the amount of $ he owed me. Absolutely traumatic and horrible. THANK YOU, Melanie!

]]> By: Deb https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/revealing-the-narcissists-7-favourite-ways-to-control-and-punish-you/#comment-1258919 Thu, 04 Nov 2021 23:07:56 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=10038#comment-1258919 Every single one of these tactics is being used by my husband. It’s having major impacts on my health and anxiety levels. My hair is falling out and my digestive system is in knots. I do not know how I am going to get through the divorce negotiations – my attorney seems to live my husband (another attorney). I am stuck in the same house until this is finalized and it’s been going on just over 2 years now, with no end in sight.

]]> By: Melanie Tonia Evans https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/revealing-the-narcissists-7-favourite-ways-to-control-and-punish-you/#comment-1257021 Mon, 11 Oct 2021 02:09:48 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=10038#comment-1257021 In reply to Bria.

Hi Bria,

my suggestion would be to use Module 1 or the Source Healing and Resolution Module to target the fears of being self-sufficient so that you can let this tradesperson go!

Accepting someone you know because of dependency is a slippery slope to experiencing loss! This will be a great one for you to shift out and heal beyond.

I would highly suggest also coming into The NARP Member’s Forum for support http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/member

I hope that this helps!

Mel 🙏💞🦋

]]> By: Bria https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/revealing-the-narcissists-7-favourite-ways-to-control-and-punish-you/#comment-1256991 Sun, 10 Oct 2021 02:07:50 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=10038#comment-1256991 Hello Mel,

I have your Quanta Freedom modules. Old and New one. Question – How do I release fear of something a Narc will do, if I do not know the fear? For example: I am a single woman healing from narc mom & ex-husband. I own a house. My handyman is Narc. He is controlling and manipulative ( ex-cop) yes, hard to believe! How do I feel self sufficient that I will find someone to help me with things that break or need to maintain around my house?? Handyman, knows just the tactics to reel me back in.

]]> By: Melanie Tonia Evans https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/revealing-the-narcissists-7-favourite-ways-to-control-and-punish-you/#comment-1256990 Sun, 10 Oct 2021 01:28:03 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=10038#comment-1256990 In reply to Liane Amendy.

Hi Liane,

my greatest suggestion for you right now is to come into the NARP Forum and receive support from the beautiful Thriver Moderators and Community who can help support you with specific shifts and suggestions to get through this stage.

http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/member

If you have any trouble getting into the Forum then please email support at support@melanietoniaevans.com and one of my lovely team will help you.

Mel 🙏💞🦋

]]> By: Melanie Tonia Evans https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/revealing-the-narcissists-7-favourite-ways-to-control-and-punish-you/#comment-1256989 Sun, 10 Oct 2021 01:21:59 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=10038#comment-1256989 In reply to Mary.

Hi Mary,

if you google my name plus narcissists and family – you will find many of my resources which I hope can help you.

Mel 🙏💞🦋

]]> By: Melanie Tonia Evans https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/revealing-the-narcissists-7-favourite-ways-to-control-and-punish-you/#comment-1256986 Sun, 10 Oct 2021 01:14:17 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=10038#comment-1256986 In reply to Vicki.

Hi Vicki,

I am so pleased that I could help.

Sending you continued love and healing

Mel 🙏💞🦋

]]> By: Dorothy https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/revealing-the-narcissists-7-favourite-ways-to-control-and-punish-you/#comment-1256958 Sat, 09 Oct 2021 13:19:14 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=10038#comment-1256958 This was timely. I have been working on recovery from codependency and complex ptsd created by a lifetime of narcissistic abuse. It was how my neurological system adapted to the toxic cult-like system. My role was the scapegoat in the system. Throughout my adult life I played that role in toxic narcissistic relationships being highly reactive. Healing is coming through good self-care and eliminating or minimizing association with toxic individuals. My body tells me when I am not in a healthy situation or with healthy people. In the past I had no idea because I was indoctrinated and brainwashed into the sickness which made me sick. It was an abuse/codependent hamster wheel. I heard a story that bank tellers are trained to spot counterfeit twenty dollar bills by being around nothing but the authentic twenty dollars bills so when the counterfeit enters into the mix it is quickly detected and discarded. My neurological system spent a lifetime of being in nothing but counterfeit relationships thinking that was “normal” because it felt energetically familiar. When an authentic person came into the scene I looked upon that as suspicious. My defense mechanisms wouldn’t let them close. It felt unfamiliar. I learned the true from the false by ceasing looking for love and validation outside of myself to looking for it through my higher power and staying away from everyone familiar as I learn who I am outside of anyone and everything. I finally know who I am free from toxic and can say today that nothing and no one is valued above my well-being. People who lack empathy and compassion who constantly blame me for everything and can’t connect emotionally and are avoiding and controlling are no longer desirable. I would rather be in my own company than to sell my soul for a quarter crumb from them. I am self-partnering to reinforce how authentic loving relationships feel free from trauma, control, manipulation, gaslighting, mind games, withholding what means much to me, critical and judgmental unable to see their role in anything because it’s everyone else’s fault, unreliable, and non supportive or accepting of who I am no matter what I hoped or wanted would happen. I released the fantasy bond being breadcrumbed while I gave more than whole loaves of my time and affection to be shoved in such a minimizing place in their lives. I finally reached a place where I prefer my own company above anyone I know. My adult sons act like their dad who was diagnosed sociopathic. The more I recover the more I see how they are becoming like their father. I used to hold my adult sons in such a high place inside of me while they held me in the lowest possible position in their lives. It was like that in my former long time intermittent narc relationship that I finally energetically was able to purge after working on releasing the energetic bond that matched from my childhood. I release all that was deposited in me by them and in its place fill it with light and love from source ( higher power). I realize I am never alone. I am here. I matter. I give myself empathy, compassion and validation so I don’t need it outside of me. I am connected to my body. I have spent so much time in a recovery mode that anything that pulls me down I can feel immediately. I am finally sensitized to the loving, kind and available while having an aversion for anything less. Until there is a match for where I am I have no issue being in my own company. I am enough and valued. No longer will I chase narcissists looking for love. You can’t get blood from a rock. I feel fulfilled and complete. I feel connected to myself. Narcissists are no longer able yo attach. They no longer are my normal or familiar. There is simply no place for them to latch on.

]]> By: Mary Nauroth https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/revealing-the-narcissists-7-favourite-ways-to-control-and-punish-you/#comment-1256948 Sat, 09 Oct 2021 03:00:35 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=10038#comment-1256948 Spot-on accurate as usual. My nightmare was my mother. My long experience with a severe narcissist reassures me that you are indeed the genuine article. You are a god-send! I have been looking for answers for over fifty years. And actually struggled with it even longer! I am thankfully no longer “enmeshed”. To anyone out there wondering, Melanie has a great deal of hard earned expertise. I haven’t quite completed her program yet, but I assure you, she is offering more trustworthy answers about narcissism than I have ever found anywhere on this planet in half a century. I promise you, from years of exposure, she is offering valuable assistance. Not that she needs my endorsement. But if you are hesitant, if you’re caught in this misery, there is help and hope and, at least, accurate information you could definitely use.

]]>