Comments on: Should You Go No Contact With A Family Member?

By: Ginger

Ginger — Mon, 28 Feb 2022 19:39:28 +0000

In reply to Stephen Coleman. Good for you! I did same with my three and life is peaceful!

By: Zoey Hitchings

Zoey Hitchings — Mon, 07 Feb 2022 17:49:31 +0000

I GET IT!! I GET IT!! I STILL GET IT!! Despite the heartache, loss, pain, grief, despair, hurt, disbelief, shock, judgement, anger, guilt, shame and anything else despicable you come up with…NEVER EVER will I have such little value, of myself again! Regardless of the fact he’s my only child, irrelevant losing my whole family, rumours and opinions don’t mean a thing! Not to me they don’t, not anymore…. I’d rather go through life alone if I had to, than return to what some deem “Acceptable”??!! Simply because….it’s my Son? Try it for 10yrs, try recovering from the trauma! I’m sure the answer would be very different.

By: JCee

JCee — Wed, 13 Oct 2021 04:20:11 +0000

In reply to Ross.

Yes, Melanie is Excellent with advice about the ‘significant other’ narcissist
but I find she is lacking in knowledge of narcissistic family members,
probably because she has not really experienced it. It is a nightmare.

By: E

Mon, 13 Apr 2020 19:35:36 +0000

I Get IT!

By: Maxine

Maxine — Wed, 18 Mar 2020 16:38:01 +0000

Thank you ma’am I have been waiting for an article like this I had no contact and divorced a narcissistic psychopath dick now ex-husband three years ago after 29 years of abuse I am 62 I have my own place I took my name back and I invited my daughter into my world she’s 24 however she shows similar antics as her father the story is so detailed and impossible to digestHowever your article about getting redo the taxes ready even if it’s your own daughter resonates and opens up my world I have given her many chances I have even gotten a two bedroom 2 Bathroom Beautiful Pl. which she abused and took for granted as well as manipulating me into giving her a great deal of money to pay off However your article about getting redo the taxes ready even if it’s your own daughter resonates and opens up my world I have given her many chances I have even gotten a two bedroom 2 Bathroom Beautiful Pl. which she abused and took for granted as well as manipulating me into giving her a great deal of money to pay off debtsOn her credit cards I am done I will not allow this to interfere with my life I’ve set the boundary it is her journey but mine will not be infected with abuse I cut off her father and try to protect her there’s nothing more I can do thank you
Max

By: Luisa

Luisa — Wed, 18 Mar 2020 12:31:38 +0000

In reply to Melanie Tonia Evans. I get it and doing it

By: June McGill

June McGill — Sun, 29 Dec 2019 00:35:39 +0000

I am going through a situation with my son, and have been for years, who I suspect is being “worked from behind” by his partner and the mother of his two children. My son is high functioning, but on the autistic spectrum. We hardly see our 2 young grandchildren, the eldest is autistic (but this is not discussed), despite them only living 2 miles away. For almost 10 years, we have never been included or invited in to their everyday lives. At one point they moved house and would not tell us the address. We drove around for 3 hours until we found their cars, but didn’t knock. We have so much love to give our grandchildren, but only my son’s partner’s family are given what is considered “normal” access. We have never been invited to babysit, or attend school plays and events, or even help in picking them up from school. They have never been “allowed” in our house for a day, or even one hour, without their dad accompanying them. They have never been in our car. We are allowed one day out with them every summer holiday, which I have to really push for, but my son always insists on being there. His partner never comes. I never hear whether the children like their birthday or Christmas presents that I have carefully chosen, and rarely am I able to give them to them directly, but have to hand them over to our son on my doorstep, or even a few times in a snowy public car park before now. We are not invited to their house, and on the rare occasions we do manage to go there, his partner hides from us upstairs for most of the time and doesn’t even call out “hello”. Just disappears and is very rude. The grandchildren will know precious little about our side of the family, only what is considered to be their “real” family (their mother’s side of course, who they see on a daily basis). My son also won’t speak to or acknowledge his sister, even though she lives in the same street as him, as she is a “straight talking” person and has stuck up for us on various occasions, knowing how hurt we are about the situation. She is fed up and exhausted with the lies he spouts as to why we don’t see our grandchildren, as are we. Always excuses. My 4 year old grandson was recently baptised and we only found out last minute and had an invite via text message. My husband was ill and couldn’t attend. I did, but my son’s partner did not greet, acknowledge, speak or look at me once. After the ceremony I was wondering what would happen. Everyone got into their cars and drove off. I found out that the “real” family all went back to their house to celebrate. I was left standing alone in the car park and was back home within the hour. I still haven’t even had an acknowledgement of the personalised engraved baptism gift, handed over in the church car park, not even via a text.
We were not invited to see our grandchildren over Christmas and my son never asks what we will be doing, or if we will be Ok. I often work over Christmas and my husband would be on his own. My daughter wouldn’t let that happen, but my son and partner never even ask him, nor do they care. My daughter has once again told him of the hurt he and his partner create, which has consequently triggered a truly vile, vitriolic message from his partner to me, accusing us of not caring about our grandchildren (nothing is further from the truth) and “thank goodness” she has her family to make up for us and what we lack. She is rude to us but sickly sweet to others who are obviously taken in by her. We are never given the opportunity to build a real relationship with our gorgeous grandsons, so how can we ever be what they want us to be? When our grandsons do visit on rare occasions, they are completely at ease with us and we play and laugh, whilst my son sits, stoney faced, and champing at the bit to get away and go home. He talks down to me, (not his dad) and often mocks me and my chosen career. I feel he backs up his partner because he is scared of upsetting her and losing his children.
Since this latest vile, nasty and completely out-of-the-blue text message, I now know there is nothing we can ever do to “measure up”. Nothing will ever be good enough because they have to control everything, including us. I know I have to break free. My absolute fear is that when I break contact, I KNOW my grandsons will be told that we didn’t ever want to know them and be told the same by their other grandmother and auntie.
Such lies from all her family. It is my son’s choice to exclude us, but not my poor grandchildren who won’t know what’s going on. I hasten to add that as far as we know our kids had a normal, happy childhood with FULL involvement from both sets of their dear grandparents. My son was completely supported by us and got all the help we could get with his autistic tendencies, as much as we could in the 1980s.

I am truly broken. My husband is stronger and has no problem washing his hands of them, despite the risk of never seeing his grandsons again.

By: Jane B

Jane B — Sat, 30 Nov 2019 00:21:05 +0000

In reply to Justyna. ♥️♥️♥️

By: Stephany

Stephany — Mon, 25 Nov 2019 05:46:21 +0000

In reply to Kalyi Amoto.

Jesus said love your neighbor AS you love yourself. I thought about the word AS….along side. Or the same way…