Comments on: Should You Make A Narcissist Pay?

By: Vino

Vino — Sat, 22 Dec 2018 16:12:14 +0000

Mel

Thank you for what you do. I am on day two of the journey. I am divorcing my wife of 15 years and have lost everything, home, finances, kids, friends, family and pastors at church that I thought were holy people. I have been harassed by the police, her family and my life threathened by her brother.
I have no contact with my kids and she listens to all our conversations, she has now turned my kids against me and they do not want to even see me anymore. This is a women who is a born again Christian and paraded herself to be a holy person in our church, speaking in tongues and laying hands on, and praying for people. Last September I found out that she was total trailer park trash and that she was living a life of double standards, having affairs and smoking weed and also having all of the symptoms of a cocaine addict.

She hid this very well for 15 years, I have now after 14 months I decided to go no contact and file for divorce.

This women thrives on making others feel pain and is a master at manipulation.

By: Vino

Vino — Sat, 22 Dec 2018 15:58:58 +0000

In reply to Tiffany.

Hi Tiffany

I am going through the same story. My kids have been removed from my home with the help of my ex-wifes policeman boyfriend. I have not seen them for six months and she leaves them with her 78 year old mom while she is out on the town. My twin daughters are only 10 years old. This is the second Christmas that they have not spent with me. I am labeled as abusive when I cry out for justice. I think that she is a coke addict with a Narc problem. I have just started Melanies program and it has given me amazing understanding of what and who I am dealing with. I also hit the bottle quite hard due to depression, fight it Tiffany…fight.

This site and your stories gives me hope, May GOD forgive the Narcs and stay strong

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Fri, 02 Nov 2018 01:49:44 +0000

In reply to bea.

Hi Bea,

It’s lovely to see that you are on your way.

Sending healing, breakthroughs and blessings to you.

Mel 🙏💕❤️

By: bea

bea — Thu, 01 Nov 2018 13:05:47 +0000

This video makes me realise that I also abused the narcissist by not feeding his needs anymore. So he was my strength trainer and I was his.
But in a constanly battle you get hurt everytime again and again. So when I stop the battle I started to heal my wounds.
Today is my day 16 of the NARC program and 8 weeks of seperation and not only feel the transformation in me but I also see it in my behavior.

I’m so grateful I found you.
Much LOVE
bea

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Wed, 31 Oct 2018 21:57:09 +0000

In reply to Oshun.

Hi Oshun,

Thank you so much!

Oshun I firmly believe that when we choose to support and love ourselves and be our truth – the truth unfolds and all of life starts conjoining with us to live and support us more.

If, in the other hand, we are outing a narcissist to try to have them be held accountable, make amends, apologise or receive punishment so that THEN we can feel loved and supported and whole (which only we can create for ourselves), we are in Wrong Town and it never works.

You chose aligning with and supporting you, rather than changing something ‘out there’ to ‘get you’.

That’s the difference.

Congratulations on your book and The generation of your True Life Dear Lady.

Many continued blessings to you.

Mel 🙏💕❤️

By: Oshun

Oshun — Wed, 31 Oct 2018 13:27:13 +0000

Hi Mel,
Congratulations on your forthcoming book.
I thoroughly enjoyed this video. I’m the daughter of a narcissist mother & I also had a relationship with narcissist man last year that was extremely abusive. When it comes to “revenge” I had some interesting experiences. I’m a writer by profession & I ended up writing a memoir about my childhood that was published by a major publishing house. This “outed” my mother as the abuser she is. That wasn’t my reason for writing the book and in fact I’d initially had no desire to write about my own life — I’d wanted to write fiction! My mother had bullied me & humiliated me all my life (I was the Scapegoat). When she had to deal with my memoir getting lots of publicity & seeing me on TV, hearing me on the radio, seeing me in the national newspapers etc, it had a very strange effect. She’s completely stopped bullying me & now acts like she’s slightly afraid of me & never bothers me at all. So, is that revenge? I didn’t intend my book as revenge but I did feel I had the right to own & tell my story.
Sort of similar with the narcissist boyfriend. He did awful things to me, including rape. I reported him to the police (he’s still on bail I think) for the rape & other abuse. And I told his family & others close to him what he is and what he’s done. The result was that a number of his close family members chose to distance themselves from him. They already knew he’d been accused of severely abusing his previous partner, so I guess hearing about what he’d done to me was the final straw for them.
With both my mother and the ex boyfriend, I was coming from a place of: “I have acted like a doormat for so long. I am now going to speak my truth.” I wasn’t actively seeking revenge, but my soul was crying out to have its story heard. And that’s what happened. I find it very interesting indeed that everybody believed what I said, given that loads of narc survivors report being disbelieved & invalidated. Why is that?

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Fri, 07 Sep 2018 23:04:13 +0000

In reply to Charlotte Corbett.

Hi Charlotte,

Good on you for being so honest with how you feel!

My NARP program is to detox ourselves emotionally from any narcissist in our life.

That is my total suggestion for your situation http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp

Mel 🙏💕❤️

By: Charlotte Corbett

Charlotte Corbett — Fri, 07 Sep 2018 16:20:50 +0000

Hi Mel, Thank you so much for your post. I am a daughter of a narcissistic mother. I can’t begin to tell you the pain and the wanting to “settle the score” I Feel silly for being in my forties and finally figuring it out how to move on. I could have dodged all the pain and abuse. Needless to say the healing journey begins…..only to figure out that my Sister in Law is also a Narcissist. Our Husbands are in a partnership farming operation with no hired men so we are all forced to try to work together. Let’s face it I’m pissed. I have been working really hard to heal from all the frustration. There are unforgivable situations. My husband is a wonderful man and he continues to insist that we can manage them if we are strong enough to handle it. Not change them just manage them. They are fierce competitors to the point of ridiculousness. In order to heal I have gone minimal contact. I really want to mentally free my mind from the chaos around me. Narcissists provoke your very being. Do you have exercises or quotes to help me from reacting?

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Thu, 10 May 2018 02:44:38 +0000

In reply to Ginger.

Hi Ginger,

Awww Dear Lady it is so important for all of us that we take the stand of ‘no’ to violence.

Yes sweetheart press charges and please know you daughters need an example from their mother of never ever tolerating such behaviour.

I totally understand the feelings of dependency I used to have them too and that permitted me to excuse acts of violence. This thinking only allowed the abuse to escalate and things to get worse.

This is a stand that you need to take if you wish to heal and break free from this.

Condoning is never the answer and it is such a damaging message to our children. Please honey see this and I would love you to also connect to this community for healing and support.

It’s not going to be easy but with the right healing support and resources you will get through this.

Sending love and strength

Mel 🙏💕❤️