Or maybe we haven’t been having great orgasms at all…

Even worse, maybe our sex life came at a terrible price, because it was connected to a relationship with a narcissist.”

Yeah narcissists want what you and often have unethical intentions. As soon as they get what they want they don’t want it and will destroy it. As a sexual adult I don’t meddle in other peoples sex live or loves.

There are a couple other things that i forgot to mention. One is that even though i have been with the person described above for over a year now, it is only in the last couple of months that i have really been starting to tie this behavior of hers to her being narcissistic. I’m not sure why. Also, i have discovered recently that she browses porn on the internet quite frequently and one site that keeps popping up is Adult Friend Finder. That really hurts!! It’s just devastating to me that she can’t seem to find it possible to really even try to connect with me intimately, but she apparently makes attempts to do so with complete strangers. I have yet to confront her about the porn. I don’t really have a problem with the porn itself and she knows i wouldn’t and that makes it even worse on me that she keeps it private. Why wouldn’t she want to watch it together?? I know she knows i wouldn’t object to that.

The combination of anxiety and actual physical pain I have experienced from being both sexually as well as verbally abused by my girlfriend of the past year and 3 months feels as though i am slowly dying inside. The biggest reason i believe for this is that i haven’t been able as of yet to completely break free from the abuser. She completely realizes but only partially acknowleges this power she holds over me. I think she literally brags to her friends about it and laughs about it behind my back. Why can’t i find it within me to end it once and for all when i feel quite sure that what i am experiencing is really happening? The lack of real honest intimacy that i receive from her and feeling fairly confident that her real sexual self is expressed in a hidden world that i am only allowed brief and very unsatisfying glimpses of is devastating to me in so many ways. One thing that is driving me quite mad is this continued thing where we are in bed together late at night and she so often teases me with making it seem like she is starting to masturbate only until i react to what i think she is doing. My reaction is of how much it turns me on at which her only response is quickly acting as if she is sound asleep and not touching herself. A few times the next morning i have questioned her only to see her unleash a violent verbal barrage on me mostly focused on how she thinks i’m losing my mind or that i should have been asleep and not anticipating such things. There have also been times where i have responded to her starting to masturbate by doing the same myself and on these occasions she has responded by acting as though my actions have disturbed her sleep and how she is quite appalled i would do such a thing in bed next to her. It doesn’t really shame me, but it quickly ruins the mood for me and i know she takes pleasure in that and it really hurts me emotionally to know that. There have been a very limited number of times that i have responded to her initially starting to masturbate by talking dirty to her very lovingly mostly focused on how beautiful and sexy i think she is. She has reacted positively to me a few times in this case, but in a very limited fashion and never acknowledging that she is awake and never engaging verbally as well. She will offer little sexy moans or sighs accompanied with masturbatory type body movements on occasion. And sometimes will even allow me to caress her lovingly a little bit, but even these episodes she makes sure end in a fashion that she knows is very unsatisfying for me. She just never ever fully engages intimately and it drives me crazy!! The main reason it really affects me this way is because i feel quite sure that the problem i perceive has absolutely nothing to do with her being sexually shy and just having trouble opening up intimately. No, she is never shy in any type of setting, whether it be social or otherwise. She just has her little ways that are kind of hard to describe where she makes it quite clear that she is just so shockingly disappointed that she is discovering that i am such a pervert. I am glad in a way to even be able to admit that this is happening to me, but the fact that i would even consider to allow it to continue brings tears to my eyes as i am tapping the text keys on my phone and will probably end up crying myself to sleep as i have done on several occasions. What is wrong with me???

Waiting on someone else to change is a recipe for a failed marriage. You should change yourself first if the other person refuses to do so. Change yourself and you will see the world change around you. This thread is 5 year old!

My estranged husband of 1 year is a 17 year missionary. Turns out he uses is talent in construction of foreign churches and religion as fuel. He brags about his grandsons remembering him as a great missionary when they grow up. He gets money from church members to go on these trips yet he has enough real property he could sell and have the money. He had an affair with a native on a mission trip to Dominican Republic.
His finances are a mess, he is a hoarder, he never opens his mail, he admits he hates women, and sex with him is all about impressions. This is his third marriage and his first wife and kids are flying monkeys.
He slobbered all over me, stabbed his tongue down my throat, and never actually acted as if he enjoyed any of the sex.
I pray for his soul. I pray I can follow your advice and divorce him.