Comments on: Were You Raised By A Narcissistic Parent?

By: Gunther

Gunther — Sun, 21 Nov 2021 21:33:29 +0000

It’s funny, how parents get so upset when you lied to them; however, they believe it is okay for them to lie to you. Furthermore, many of us lied to our parents because we do it to save our necks as a matter of self-survival because we all know what happens if we spoke the truth to them.

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Sun, 14 Nov 2021 22:30:26 +0000

In reply to Thriver.

Hi Thriver,

to look deeply into what is going on and grant you the best supporting healing suggestions it will be best for you to ask in the NARP Member’s Forum. (Your situation seems a little more complex).

http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/member

If you are Silver NARP, then please email support@melanietoniaevans.com for help to access the Forum

I hope that this helps

Mel 🙏💞🦋

By: Thriver

Thriver — Sun, 14 Nov 2021 09:45:14 +0000

I’m part of NARP.

In a different article it was mentioned to use Module 4 and 5 (smear campaign).

What module(s) would you use when both spouses were raised by narcissist (s)?

Where no contact isn’t an option and narcissistic parent and narcissistic grandparents affect (grand) children.

By: David Busby

David Busby — Wed, 10 Nov 2021 01:18:07 +0000

Mel you have an uncanny ability to pinpoint what I need to hear when I need it the most. It’s like a synchronous, quantum entanglement that keeps happening on cue. I checked off just about all of the things you mentioned in your Thriver TV video. Thank you, for your message.

By: Daniela

Daniela — Fri, 05 Nov 2021 20:15:47 +0000

In reply to Jane M..

Hi Jane,
I have very similar experience. That’s why it took me years to detach and look at my mother as emotionally abusive.
Like your mother: a good person, hardworking, giving. “She has done so much for me.” And she really has, all the material care was there: clothes, meals, even saving money for me.
I took ages to understand why I get so hurt by her. Her invalidation is so huge that I really believed there is something wrong with me when she told me that again and again. Because she was so perfect. And I was not. Now I see this was the story she created.
When I tell her what’s hurt me, she turns all agains me: ungrateful, always complaining, finding things that don’t exist.
I’m still working my way through the mist and chaos she created in my consciousness. It sits so deep and I hardly remember anything from early childhood up to about 6-7. Even after that very little.
But I’m beginning to see patterns. Entitlement: when I was little, all was about her, how she felt, what she needed, what suited to her perfect plans, when she needed to go to bed, how her morning was, how she wanted to spend weekends (we children had to fit in)…
Grandiose thinking: she’s like a bee queen, surrounding herself with lots of people, all of whom are much more important than her children. When I call her, she has this and that important thing. Asks me to call when it fits her. It is only her opinion that is the real, substantial one. She always knows best.
Lack of consciousness: when my mother is not interested in something, she just will not hear. Even if it is an important matter in the life of her child. No interest at all, no attempt to listen, open herself, understand, connect. She calls it loss of time. Or even says: «I don’t want to know.”
These are actually huge things for a child. The cursing is perhaps not there. But all the others, yes.

By: Jane M.

Jane M. — Fri, 05 Nov 2021 04:57:57 +0000

Mel,
Is there a difference between the characteristics of narcissistic parents and other narcissists?
I thought narcissistic people all exhibit lack of consciousnesses, grandiose thinking and entitlement.
I’m asking because my mom fits into most of what you described above but I can’t say she lacks consciousness.
She is a very giving and caring parent in many respects but has no problem invalidating me and denying my emotions and then saying I am “irrational” and “illogical” when I say I feel hurt. She also hugely discriminates me compared to my brother and when I try to discuss with her how hurt I feel, she says she does whatever she does because it’s good for me (which makes no sense because there is nothing good when you made feel unworthy compared to your brother).
I often feel I reach a wall when I try to discuss my emotions with her but I can’t say she lacks consciousness (I know what lack of consciousness means because I was married to a narc. My mom doesn’t behave like him – no cursing or delusional accusations- but she fits most of what you describe above).
Thanks, and I love your blogs, as always 💕

By: Yasmin

Yasmin — Thu, 04 Nov 2021 23:27:59 +0000

You have gone from strength to strength over the years reaching out to us all.I haven’t signed up all these years but have been watching everything you have ever put out since I came across you 6 years ago. This video ultimately made me decide to reach out for help.

By: Tony

Tony — Thu, 04 Nov 2021 19:48:07 +0000

So much seems to fit.
In other context, the psychobabble models couch much of this as sourced in abandonment, which I can easily conjure a story around.

IF the Thriver and Quantum process works, I would welcome it.

By: Tracey

Tracey — Thu, 04 Nov 2021 11:14:02 +0000

This describes everything I am going through. Am currently in a “relationship” with a person that behaves badly, lies, makes me feel emotionally unsafe and unworthy and I behave exactly as you describe. Not being myself, morphing into who he wants to be to please him. Mother is a narcissist. I KNOW all this yet don’t walk away because I don’t want to hurt HIM and I don’t want to be alone and uncared for. It is hurting me NOT be able to be me in this “relationship”. Terrified of being judged and found wanting. So unhealthy.