Comments on: What Can We Do With Narcissists?

By: narc abused

narc abused — Thu, 16 Jul 2015 00:45:59 +0000

I have yet to do your healing programs…and I think now is the time I will see true results from it. there is a right time and state for it all. Obviously I get the value of lost time and greater debacles etc. but one can deal with only so much….So I took the route to introspection…..excruciating ….about what exactly happened and WHY the narcissist healthy or disordered would do what they do….and I got it…internal state…and went deeper into self-actualization, spirituality…. evil…crime etc….yes it cost me time….made me hit rock bottom…dark night of the soul….existential crisis for a child…..no one can imagine the pain and suffering of the prey / victims / chosen targets. I am not into dismissing victimhood and shoving it under the rug….for its the TRULY STRONG SOULS that become the greatest victims in the first place …. strength is the greatest weakness. So unless such souls HONOR their victimhood completely by true soul searching….NOTHING is going to ever help. I am sure. Its all great to feel and be great….BUT unless a “””victim””” actually knows how to honor one’s own victimhood and considers it valuable and worthy of self….self-love….how will getting rid of it actually prove any better. The first principle of self-love is UNCONDITIONAL. Each is different and should give themselves the time and energy they DESERVE to figure it all out for themselves. And if such are labelled victims loving victimhood….so be it !!! As long as it is doing them good giving them answers about their life lived….which is not a waste. !!!! though appears to be. Healing is NOT some recipe, formula, equation that one can just plug in….one needs to fall to the required depth….else will keep falling again and again…and again. So if one is in a hurry rush race to heal….[ what does it really mean to heal ???] ….one will again miss the boat anyway !!!! so I suggest do the homework for no one can do it for you….not even a healing program. one’s got to do it for self. period. that clearing ….greater rock bottom…is the only way for any outside healing program to work.

By: Kay

Kay — Thu, 07 May 2015 15:54:14 +0000

In reply to Nikki.

Hey Nikki,
Yes, Melanie is right: we have to work on ourselves! Your question: What do I do? I don’t know what to do anymore.
OK, here is something for starters: Get your self in the best shape you can; eat right, get enough sleep, and exercise. Try going for walks, Yoga- there are bound to be some teachers in your area – do Tai Chi, Falun Gong, do the Kinslow system, get out into nature, eat organic food and drink good water; get enough vitamins and minerals into your diet, listen to your favorite music – (do you even know what that is anymore? After being in a relationship with a narc, people often forget what their favorite colors are, their favorite music, foods, activities – it is like they forget who they are.) If you have not been to church or temple for a while, go again. Listen to Mozart; it is very healing and inspiring! Definitely do Melanie’s Quantum Freedom when you can; it is wonderful!
Please keep us posted, best of everything to you!
Kay

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Tue, 05 May 2015 12:25:33 +0000

In reply to Feeling lost.

Hi Feeling Lost,

the behaviour you are describing is abusive – and a representation of someone with NPD.

Please understand this is about healing you – and what you are trying to do to move through this is not presently working.

You need to come at this from another way, Please join the Webinar …

Mel xo

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Tue, 05 May 2015 04:55:12 +0000

In reply to Rayyah.

Hi Anonymous R,

please know that if you have a phone or any listening device you can access NARP and this community …

My support team is wonderful, and can help you with your quandry. Please email support@melanietoniaevans.com

Wishing you big hugs and healing.

Mel xo

By: Rayyah

Rayyah — Mon, 04 May 2015 14:02:30 +0000

Hi Melanie
I have been following you for a while now, my sister actually found your website as I was coming out of a divorce with an N. It’s been 2yrs now, we share a child, he doesn’t really participate at ALL in our child’s life, however I feel its best. The N has moved on, gotten married to replace his life & luxuries with me- but I am still stuck in the ” shock & blame”. I’m afraid to date, afraid of the world and can feel I have no inner joy, this is no good for my child who is still young and impressionable. I miss the N, but I also hate the N who seems to have a better life out there than we do. I’ve seen online your Quantum Freedom, I need to know more about it so I can learn to uplevel. Is there some way in which I can use at home? What do you charge for QF in ZAR? I don’t have access at home to a computer or at work cannot hear the webinar therefore have not applied thus-far. I’ve tried all the different therapies, not impressed as none help much and I lose interest. I’ve even tried sitting silently with a candle to get to my inner being etc- I cannot do it alone, neither did Dianetics work when I went to a therapist. I’d love to comms with your group, I don’t do any social media ( FB, Twitter etc) so how else can I get any assistance without having to apply for one of those? I have a GMAIL account I rarely use but will be happy to log on if necessary.
Looking forward to hearing from you

Anonymous R

By: Feeling lost

Feeling lost — Sun, 03 May 2015 21:46:25 +0000

Hi Melanie,

I can’t figure out whether I have been with a narcassist for the past two years. He has left the relationship at least once every 6 weeks because either he heard rumours about me, he got anxiety or because we were different people. But then he would come back a week or two later. I have always taken him back because I assumed he was really messed up from his previous relationship but it appears to not be that anymore. He has tried to get help but apparently he didn’t like the people he was seeing. He says when we are together that I text him too much or expect too much from him. But then when we aren’t together he was text constantly when he has made the decision to get back together.

He says he can’t trust me even though I have never done anything to give him reason not to trust me.
When we are together he withholds any affection normally and most nights I lay in bed wondering why he does it.

He is very much about himself but occassionally will make the effort to ask about me. It’s all about him, his houses and his daughter.

That’s the other reason I haven’t left his side is because of his daughter, she is absolutely beautiful and means the world to him, he won’t ever let anyone close enough to her though.

We have been broken up this time for about 3 months but he has continued contact within that time and even to the stage he said he wanted to get back together but he can’t handle hearing rumours about me so he won’t give me anything.

I Don’t know what to do any more, I feel so lost. I have lots of friends because of the constant up and down from this guy and i feel like he has everything and I have nothing and he couldn’t care about me at all. But then next minute he’s back talking.

Always when we do that prior to getting back together it is me saying he is amazing ect ect. Never anything from him.

He doesn’t fit some of the narcassist boxes sometimes but others he does. I feel like it’s me that has the problem sometimes.

So lost.

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Sun, 03 May 2015 07:16:25 +0000

In reply to Brianna.

Hi Brianna,

you are so welcome, and I am so pleased I have been able to help!

Bless you 🙂

Mel xo

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Sun, 03 May 2015 07:14:52 +0000

In reply to Dorian.

Hi Dorian.

You are very welcome. The reason why you couldn’t sign up to the Webinar again – because it is an introductory Webinar with limited seats, and is limited to one per person. You can of course download the recording and go through that again … the recording has the same “power” as live – and new seats are needed for new people accessing this information.

All of the technical queries including accessing the Private Forum please email support@melanietoniaevans.com, and the support team will assist you.

That is wonderful Dorain that you are now oriented in this approach and are a part of the awakening of consciousness.

Mel xo

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Sun, 03 May 2015 07:10:40 +0000

In reply to Quinton Edward.

Hi Quinton,

You are so welcome, and I am glad you enjoyed the article.

That is so true that we see in our children the reflection and parts of ourselves that we may not have embraced / integrated.

As is true, that whatever triggers us significantly is because it relates to our own issue / or still unhealed wound.

I sooo agree that reform and updating is so necessary Quinton!

It’s time …

Mel xo