1) I’m not Catholic
2) We were never married in a Catholic church

The irony at the end was that she was at Church one Sunday morning, and I thought this is a great opportunity…. that’s when I packed all my clothes and left for good.

I left her with everything. I continued to pay her rent, electricity etc for 6 months. During that time she was begging me to come home saying how her son misses me and I should return to the relationship. When I went total no contact after a “fight” she orchestrated and she realised there was no way of getting me back, things got nasty. Police knocked on my door and served me with a DVO. Apparently I was not only abusive, but I “abandoned” her and her and her son were “terrified” of me. A temporary protection order was placed on me until the trial date which was 6 months away. I moved over 30km away from an area I had lived for over 25 years just to get away from her.

A day before the DV trial, and after her lawyer saw my response with evidence and witness statements they withdrew the allegations and I was made to sign an undertaking. A few months later, police knocked on my door again. This time, same allegations but she had added more insane untruths that were literally unbelievable. On this occasion, she withdrew before we even requested a trial, but I had to sign an undertaking to be of “good behaviour to her and to not contact her son” (Obviously to protect her web of lies).

Her son was very close to me, he even called me dad. He was the only reason I didn’t go no contact immediately after I left.

I guess I chose to not see this coming, despite being college educated, very successful in my field, confident, strong, and happy. I was a good target, so it appears.

I am sure many of you will relate, that when things were good (idolization), they were amazing and like nothing else, but within weeks, the cracks would appear. I was accused, devalued and then discarded and she would immediately go back to her ex, who of course was always waiting. While she was with her ex, she had no empathy whatsoever. I could not comprehend what happened and was left reeling. I cannot count how many times this cycle continued, and each time she would pull me back in. I tried to resist but I just couldn’t do it, and she would give me what would appear to be the most sincere apologies. To help others, some quotes that my narc said on only the idolization stage of the most recent cycle were:
“This time will be different. I do not have the words to explain to you how I know that, so I will let my actions show you that this time it will be different”
“I will never leave you”
“If you were here, and he (the ex) showed up, I would not open the door. It would also be the same if you were not here”

Being discarded and replaced again, my soul was destroyed and I felt like I was beyond recovery. There was no way I could go on without my best friend and soulmate, and I was in the lowest of low places. The holidays this year were miserable, and I was just trying to keep from jumping off the roof.

And here is where everything changed for me. Some days ago, I started learning about narcs. I’ve never experienced anything like this situation prior, and had no idea that these cycles were a personality disorder, and instead often blamed myself. I missed/ignored all the red flags – the trail of utterly destroyed crippled men that she left behind who can never recover, her fear of being alone, and more. I realize now that she only loved the attention she was getting as a fix, like an addict which I was quick to supply. I feel I am on the right path now, and actually can and will recover. I have spent much time looking inward now, and realize how I gave my power to someone else, and that prior inner traumas need to be resolved to heal. Through the self-partnering process, I feel more relief now than I have felt in some time! I know that if this narc comes back for supply, to simply have no contact, as breaking that would only lead to further damage and destruction. I know I have barely started and still have lots of work to do, but the videos and blogs here have been immensely helpful to me, so I wanted to say thank you. I know I am saved and feel so much stronger now then only a short time ago where I was just about at rock bottom. If I did not find this information on this site, I would still be right where I was on Dec 30. Thanks to the profound truth presented here, I am in a completely different place, and on the right path now; I will surely continue healing and looking forward to the Feb webinar.

I know that all this has been heard before, but I really cannot thank you enough – please keep up the great work!!!

Yes and Carl Jung also said about love that it is projecting our inner gold outside of ourselves.

Natural smile – yes, we all have it! Here’s more… http://williambloom.com/2016/05/29/guided-inner-smile-exercise/ … I hope it is ok to post this here xxxx

Hi Liz,

this is why we need to come inwards to find the true emotional programming reasons why we do ..

This is NOT logical.

I’d love you to find those true reasons and heal from this.

You can join me in my next Free Webinar Group to do this – https://www.mealnietoniaevans.com/freewebinar

Mel xo

Hi Angela,

not for the videos .. only blog articles / radio shows.

Mel xo