so ironic to find this blog, two years later. me and my ‘narc’ (qualifier) broke up in what, say august? of 2016, a few hoovers, worked partially for a week until I caught her at her old games, and to quote the song…

christmas eve, months later, to my wondrous eyes, to my amazement, her platonic friend appears (aka flying monkey), and says ‘jean found your keys’ and handed me my keys, I must have left a set there as I stumbled out after finding her ex and a new man on her cell phone, in shock. ‘oh, how is she?’ i asked, as she had some health problems, I was taking care of her when she was sick, while she was lying to me about hooking up with her ex and the new supply….”she’s got a new boyfirend” (oh, I didn’t ask that, i asked how she was), “that figures” I replied. ‘yes,” he says, “it’s her m.o. i’ve seen it five or six times…” i then told him, “she told me that she thought you were gay and that’s why you wouldn’t date her.” he says, “im not gay, i just know how she is, i can only be a friend,” (and a flying monkey…

in retrospect, I should thank her for the ending(s) her poor husband lost years and had three or four kids with her, before he was discarded and cheated on…

I am married to a narcissist (female). Luckily this Christmas 2017 she worked Christmas Day early as she is a flight attendant and wasn’t back until Boxing Day. She has already caused friction between her and my family to a point that my parents can’t tolerate her. She has fallen out with her dad numerous times, along with her sister and brothers. many of her old school friends now don’t talk to her. She now part blames me for the fall out with my parents even though it had nothing to do with me. It was tirade of abuse to my mum which did it. But she now says it was my mums fault!! She didn’t once think about me when she went off which has left me piggy in the middle. She now expects me to support her and tell my mum to tow the line. Even using the kids as blackmail!!

When she got back Boxing Day no one was at home as I stayed at my brothers where my parents were staying and with my two children. We had a great Christmas and the children enjoyed it thoroughly. On our return to home she was all upset that we were not home for when she got back and that no one cares for her. With this she threw herself on the ground in such a pathetic and over dramatized way it was hard to believe.

A great Christmas Day and part Boxing Day only for it to turn in to a rubbish one.

I am over it all and want out. I have tried to leave a couple of times but she says in front of the children “daddy is leaving us”!!! With this I can’t. She is good for a day but then she starts questioning me about why I don’t lover her cause i want to leave and split up our family. She now says I have hurt her by my actions and she doesn’t trust me anymore. I have started to fight back which she doesn’t like and it creates agreements each two days or so whereas we never used to argue because I used to just go along with her crap! And now I am a “shit” husband because I have wanted to leave.

I have fallen out of love with her after 7 years together and 5 years of marriage. Beauty is skin deep and inside she is very ugly.

All help is needed to live with these type of personalities. I only realised 4 months ago that she was a narcissist after people pointed it out. I feel much better knowing that fact.

Thanks for all the advice.

Fraser

Selkie – I am so sorry your Narc died at Christmas.

Ours acts out every Christmas. This year myself and the rest of the family changed the holiday script. We stayed away during Christmas and headed to town to celebrate with him over New Years. However we had our eyes wide open and knew he would probably act out. Well yes he did! He got very, very drunk and in the middle of the night went into the kitchen and slipped up. He had a nasty tumble (breaking dishes etc) and also managed to bump into the counter on the way down – this time breaking a rib. He refuses medical help and really does look terrible, not just because of the rib but because of other health issues as well. Mentally I have prepared myself for the inevitable since I will probably be the one to arrange the cremation and deal with the aftermath.

In addition to that it is very cold right now at the house where he stays. There is an auxiliary heater in the crawl space under the house so the pipes don’t freeze. All you really have to do is turn it on! Of course he didn’t turn it on! He hasn’t had water all week. And he has whined all week about it.

Fast forward…I divorced him and was engaged 5 years later at Christmas to ANOTHER narc! Shortly after proposing he took the ring back and I was baffled. We still tried to work through things but the following Christmas he dumped me after 5 1/2 years together and then 4 weeks later he married someone else in Vegas. I was left shattered and picking up all the pieces yet again.

I am so sick of these evil creatures. I can’t even call them human. And yes they ruined every single Christmas in catastrophic and traumatizing ways.

J

We need to change ournoeptides and not talk about all the negative. That’s what I just learned in her video. They’ll keep regenerating if we stay focused on what happened..the trauma, the negative , the bad, focus your attention on you and your healing and forget about him! Do an assumption with the utility bill and get it in your name. If won’t then a domestic violence advocacy group will help you and take before a Judge who will order it. They also provide free services and subsidized legal help or free. Move on and heal!