Comments on: What Is Narcissistic Supply?

By: Jamie

Jamie — Sun, 07 Nov 2021 17:48:56 +0000

In reply to Jon.

Jon,

I hope you are doing better. I know it’s years since you wrote this, but I want to share with you in case you still seek help. Have you looked into EMDR? I know you can get back to yourself. Don’t give up. There are healing modalities for everything. You just have to find the right one and give it some time.

I practice “I am enough” which Marisa Peer teaches. It is pretty powerful. Yoga and meditation too are great. Not sure if you have tired it, but might be worth looking into too 🙂

Best of luck. Much love. J

By: Healthy girl

Healthy girl — Thu, 19 Aug 2021 18:19:45 +0000

The sick ex narc got involved with a religious cult of sorts and orchestrated some bizarre scheme to “recreate” my spouse’s parent or childhood dependency and attachment, then brutally created a primary wound that didn’t before exist. So now my spouse is a false self acting like a narcissist though originally he wasn’t. And now I’m pressured to leave the “narc” because if he didn’t want to be involved with her then I guess that means he’s supposed to be an abusive narc who doesn’t really love or care about me either. Wow we used to have careers and other responsibilities, but now we just have the ex’s narcissistic abuse to focus on.

By: Gloria

Gloria — Wed, 28 Jul 2021 06:25:14 +0000

Thank you for the article and for the blog. I realized more than 5 years ago that I’ve lived in an emotionally abusive relationship for 6 years. We had a 3-years old child at the time, and the divorce and “co-parenting” at first was insane. We do quite effective parallel parenting now but he is still trying to manipulate and get back to me via friends and family members (he is currently in a relationship with one of my friend), and via the kid as well. For me, this is the hardest part. I had to deattach not just from him but from people who refused to believe me as well. I am crazy worried for my child because I know he loves his father (and I do believe that my ex loves the kid or I want to believe that) but he hurt me and us so badly. Sometimes it is really hard to do parenting right and pay attention to our kid’s feelings and my feelings at the same time. It is really hard to deattach when he still tries to manipulate me through the kid.

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Mon, 08 Mar 2021 06:45:01 +0000

In reply to Susanne.

Hi Susanne,

thank you for your supportive words.

That’s wonderful that you are going to embody the NARP inner work http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp

It makes a world of healing difference

Much love to you

Mel 🙏💕💚

By: Susanne

Susanne — Thu, 04 Mar 2021 21:09:51 +0000

Melanie! This is the most powerful piece of writing Ive seen on Narcissism.
Thankyou so much. The lights have gone on in me! Ive been a NARP member for years but havnt felt like looking into the work.
Now I do. Divine timing is at play here so if I hadnt read this I wouldnt be taking responsibility now.
Thankyou for your persistence and commitment to this work.

By: Carmen

Carmen — Tue, 02 Feb 2021 18:14:00 +0000

In reply to Melanie Tonia Evans. Ive experience this 24years of marriage and still married to a N.. I must wonder when things is so calm and happy and peaceful when is his next bad mood gonna strike.. And i know exactly when it happens.. And then, every happy few weeks is down the drain, like you say then everything things starts over again..

By: Vivienne

Vivienne — Mon, 17 Aug 2020 01:40:03 +0000

In reply to Suzanne.

I don’t think in my case it’s because of internal wounds that had to be addressed..
.I had a wonderful upbringing with two most loving parents….I was a caretaker for my folks and gave up 12years of my life…no time for social,so when they passed I I Iwas ready for romance and to find love…upon meeting a man I briefly dated on Facebook fourty years ago we met and that’s where it all began,..had I known that he had NPD I would have never gotten involved.,but because this disorder is so tricky with all the phases,and if you know nothing about NPD….you are Blindsided,…like one minute it’s Paradise and next thing you are wondering “what the hell is going on”?…Am I in the Twighlight Zone???

By: Isobel;

Isobel; — Fri, 22 Nov 2019 05:03:12 +0000

Quotes from your blog above Melanie
“The ultimate lesson for every human is this: these deeply desired emotions are states. They are never things we get, or people we get – they are not conditional on what we get in any shape or form – they are created by who we are being unconditionally as a state within ourselves.
“If we remain unconscious, we all fall into the dire illusion that it is the outside creating our pain. Which is a totally false premise, because it is the inner faulty beliefs that are responsible. Life and others are simply stage-players playing out the scenes that produce the validity of these beliefs”.
“The only remedy we ever have is to heal our own unconsciousness so that we are never again a match for another unconscious person.”

“Who we are being unconditionally as a state with ourselves”. I read a thing years ago which has never left my mind in The Accidental Tourist by Anne Tyler “It is not so how much you love a person but who you are when you with them”. I don’t like myself with my husband, I can be petty and mean (to him) and tell myself its ok because he deserves it because of what he did but really it is me. I know when I say and do the wrong thing, I am ashamed of myself. I realise that this is about me and now I am truly terrified.
Do I have the courage to save myself? To heal my own unconsciousness?
I hope so. Melanie. I will try. The pull back to the safety of the insanity is very compelling an appalling. I am addicted to this chaos.
I feel hope after reading your blog.
Thank you.

By: Audrey

Audrey — Mon, 28 Oct 2019 15:12:43 +0000

In reply to Sarah. You do have that capacity Sarah we all do . I’m no contact 9 days and my day’s are up and down however I do know I will never go back ever .