Comments on: When Is It Safe To Date After Narcissistic Abuse? Part 1 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/when-is-it-safe-to-date-after-narcissistic-abuse/ Devastated by a narcissist? Melanie's Narcissism blog offers support & empowering tools to heal & thrive after narcissistic abuse, gain a new life & fulfilling relationships. Sat, 09 Dec 2017 16:41:33 +0000 hourly 1 By: Michelle https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/when-is-it-safe-to-date-after-narcissistic-abuse/#comment-969523 Sat, 09 Dec 2017 16:41:33 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=3496#comment-969523 In reply to Melanie Tonia Evans.

I’ve Been Divorced A yr. I left a yr and a half ago. It was the first time I didn’t feel the need jump back into a relationship after a breakup. Now I understand why. My soul was ready for healing. I I started online dating again a few months ago. It was so different. I met one guy where we shared similar childhood experiences! I was triggered yet this time I understood why. I knew he wasn’t someone I could not be in a healthy relationship with. I was physically attracted to him but it wasn’t enough. I’ve done meet and greets with others and my gut would say…nope. A few years ago I would have been trying to get others to love and accept me. My inner voice a few weeks ago say step away from the online dating. Take more time for you and to heal. I deleted the account. I’m now focusing on taking care of myself physically. I realize when I don’t it affects how I feel and see myself. When i start to feel like I want a man I think….he’s preparing himself. He’s healing just as I am. When the time is right we will cross paths. One point that you made was crucial. That until you are ready to give unconditionally you aren’t ready….when I’m in that place to give freely versus giving to get it know I’m in a great space. It essentially means I’ve filled up my own cup and have some left over to give to another.

]]> By: Anna https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/when-is-it-safe-to-date-after-narcissistic-abuse/#comment-969520 Sat, 09 Dec 2017 16:38:59 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=3496#comment-969520 In reply to Kristin.

Trama bonding and addicted to a person. Worse than any substance addiction.

Their toxic behaviour heightens all our senses which make us feel sooooo much in love with them.
They know this and are skilled. A lifetime of practice.
No healthy relationship relating will give us such a high!!!!

]]> By: Melanie Tonia Evans https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/when-is-it-safe-to-date-after-narcissistic-abuse/#comment-935262 Wed, 11 Oct 2017 22:37:02 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=3496#comment-935262 In reply to Belle.

Hi Belle,

How lovely to hear of your success.

Well done Dear Lady 🙂

Mel xo

]]> By: Belle https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/when-is-it-safe-to-date-after-narcissistic-abuse/#comment-934310 Tue, 10 Oct 2017 02:59:28 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=3496#comment-934310 Did 18 months of hard work with a counsellor as my relationship died, removed toxic people and relatives from my life, happiest year of my life.
Started dating and my son said I only dated so I could tell men ‘nope’… 😀 (He was joking) I spotted the narcs and psychopaths so quickly because I’d been in those forums… but I moved out of them when I realiised how looking at that information kept me trapped in the trauma. I didn’t need to keep reading about narcs and psychopaths… I know it all intimately.

Finally met someone I agreed to have a second date with… and he’s a grown up, conscious male who’s happy with himself, open to growth and knows who he is…
I didn’t feel it until the third date, but he was interesting enough for me to want to know more … and here we are some months down the track.
I met someone who lights everything good up in me and I him… and it’s a fantastic combination. No trying to change or control, no putting me down, just an open joy in who I am.
Do the work. Good things are on the other side.

]]> By: Lynnette Rock https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/when-is-it-safe-to-date-after-narcissistic-abuse/#comment-921956 Mon, 11 Sep 2017 16:40:51 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=3496#comment-921956 I was married to a narcissistic sociopath for 13 years. We were separated for two years and then divorced. I had been asked on dates during my separation; however, I didn’t date because I wanted to focus on me. It’s been over three years that I have been alone. It has helped me realize my childhood hurts and heal from them, grow as a person, helped me heal from the narcissistic abuse, learn to love myself, learn my worth, learn my boundaries, and find my own happiness. I don’t NEED a partner in my life. I am content with myself and my life. Now that I’m at this point in my life, I am ready to date.

Thank you for your website and support.

]]> By: Marlena https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/when-is-it-safe-to-date-after-narcissistic-abuse/#comment-851976 Sun, 30 Apr 2017 07:13:41 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=3496#comment-851976 In reply to Christine.

It’s good to know there is hope, Christine!

]]> By: Marlena https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/when-is-it-safe-to-date-after-narcissistic-abuse/#comment-851973 Sun, 30 Apr 2017 07:09:50 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=3496#comment-851973 Hi, Melanie. This is amazing the whole article rings true for me as I’ve dated few narcissists and they all taught me how to become more comfortable with myself and love myself more.
However there is a thing to consider-this is not a definite rule and not everyone who was narcissistically abused in their family will go from one abusive relationship to another.
In my support group there are few women who met the love of their life either in their teenage years (so while they were in contact with their abusive parents) or later in their adulthood. They swear their partners are not narcissists and sound really happy in their relationships. I have asked them HOW they managed to meet such great husbands and they all said it happened by chance or their partners were also adult children of narcissists thus, they connected because of that. But they are happy.
Please explain how it is possible to attract a loving and healthy relationship after narcissistic abuse, considering the fact that you didn’t heal entirely your childhood traumas. These women are in our support group because of their narcissistic parents (some in contact, others in low contact or even no contact) so it’s not like they are completely recovered.

Thank you for the helpful work that you’re doing to heal us, ACONs.

]]> By: C https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/when-is-it-safe-to-date-after-narcissistic-abuse/#comment-819947 Sun, 19 Mar 2017 11:03:39 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=3496#comment-819947 In reply to kfz versicherung fahrleistung staffelung.

To: kfz versicherung fahrleistung staffelung

God did not plan a system requiring death. It was a consequence of sin.

Jesus Christ came to redeem us from the effects of sin, eternally. He was resurrected and is immortal. He is the basis of Christian theology. He is our hope.

One day, we will rise with Him, and see Him in all his resurrected glory. 🙂

]]> By: Mary https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/when-is-it-safe-to-date-after-narcissistic-abuse/#comment-813490 Wed, 08 Mar 2017 23:14:08 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=3496#comment-813490 In reply to Jeri.

This is so true!!!! I’ve experienced it personally. NC for me, for life. I love unconditionally and accept people as they are. I don’t try to change them. I just observe them and try to figure out what their problem is. Overtime I realize what they are blaming me for generally inside themselves and I cut them off. But there is always that one narc that lives with us forget. I feel like his soul is trapped in me and I have this void I can’t fulfil. But I found a partner I actually want to spend the rest of my life with and he allows me to be independent and fill this void myself with his support. It’s out there. True love in the form of friendship. Don’t lose hope.

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