OMG! I also has a narc father and was married to a narc for 44 yrs. No Contact was the answer. It renders powerless; it gives YOU peace and joy.

I learned NO CONTACT from Melanie several years ago. Dealing with x narc’s 4 yr lawsuit … and then… as he realized he was starting the dying process….( KARMA), he tried to get rid of me on the board., it took awhile to focus on NO CONTACt. Now I am the powerful one; now I live my life in joy, peace. I hope everyone here can learn NO CONTACT.

Wow, this is so true that I felt scared when I was listening to you bring everything out., I felt like you had reached into my belly and dragged every bottomless, empty black hole in there but you made so much sense.. every word but it was so unnerving for me..,, I have always had bad relationships but the last one was the worst ever and I know I will never, ever go there again… at least that’s something I learned, a life lesson at last.,but now I feel too scared to ever have another relationship again., I really couldn’t and wouldn’t ever accept such pain ,, I don’t know if I could listen to you again because I’m not sure why but like I’ve said it really unnerved me and I’ve dealt with a lot of trauma from my childhood but maybe not as much as I thought

Hi mel
Pennies dropping day by day. Thankyou xx

Sharon…this sounds wonderful and unbelievably courageous. I wish you joy and reverence in your next coming years….you deserve the very best.

I have been a heroin addict for 20 years but the last 14 years I have only used recreationally once or twice a year and not regained a habit. I used my work partner for the first 7 years as a barrier and it was great and I was happy. We work and travel so spend all our time together. This amazing guy retired and I met my new colleague who I fancied like mad who was separated from wife and was leaving anytime soon. We got together and even though I knew it was wrong I needed that support. He knew all about that and he was willing to be there for me. we spent a lot of time in other countries so could pretend like there is no problem. Then he attacked me bad when I was leaving him in Singapore for a month or so because my visa was over and I was coming back. I suspect he had a affair when I was away. I have been getting worse over the last two years. Sick all the time. In bed by 9pm to avoid him. I kept saying that we need to finish but the jobs always dictated not so. I got worse and worse. We had a quiet period between the big projects coming up. And I saw my chance. I thought the only thing that would put him off was if I brought drugs into the relationship. Amazingly he could accept that all of a sudden. I then made him allow me to leave work early and do it in the house with him aware. The next day I told him that it was now impossible for us to continue because I had manipulated him and I could do anything I wanted.
He lost control completely of me and then at me. I shouted and screamed at the window for help. Eventually he left before police came . He then told all my work people that I had attacked him. I didn’t go back. I am self employed. I haven’t worked since end of April and am really struggling. I have money and freedom but I cannot pick myself up from the floor. I am really bad and need help . I think I need more than books. I have been damaged from a early age . Left home at 14.

Hi Jacqui,

Truly you have done such a great job with this post even though you are having sight challenges!

That’s so great you are determined to clear the trauma, because you’ve had enough.

You are kicking huge goals now, and you should be so proud of you.

Sending you continued strength, blessings and breakthroughs.

Mel 🙏💕❤️